Ashley, with 16 days since her last drink, shares her story…..
Do not forget the AALRM race in Bozeman MT, on 5/20. This supports recovery. You can also sign up to do a virtual run at www.recoveryelevator.com\run. Enter promo code “recovery” for a discount.
The Café RE private face book group will be capped at 300 members. If you would like to join the original group, now is the time to sign up. Go to www.recoveryelevator.com and enter the promo code RE1 to get your first month free.
Alcohol does not make us more intelligent. We all know that drinking and drinking is not good. When we start drinking, our mind starts to shift and suddenly is seems like a good idea. We only have a short distance to drive, right? The statistics show that we drink and drive 76 times before getting caught. Drinking also causes us to say and do stupid things, like trying to coax a poodle to run across 5 lanes of traffic, or shout out that a girl had a funky looking toe at a bar. It you would like to send an e-mail with the most unintelligent thing you have ever done while drinking, drop a line to email@example.com.
[11:22] Paul Introduces Ashley.
Ashley – I have been sober for 16 days and feel more focused this time. I am from Iowa, 32 years old and have 3 sons. I am trying to find new sober hobbies.
[13:11] When did you first notice that you had a problem?
Ashley – I started drinking at the age of 12. I would party with older people. I was sneaking booze at the age of 14 and my family sent me away to a home. By the time, I was 21, I had 3 children and 2 DUI’s. I still did not think that I had a problem. I later lost my license for 5 years. I was home alone, couldn’t drive and my drinking really took off.
[16:11] Was it hard getting sober at such a young age?
Ashley – It has been really hard since everyone I know drinks. I am trying to distance myself from my drinker friends and find sober friends.
[17:47] You were sober before. What happened to cause you to drink again?
Ashley – I was doing a cleanse to try and lose some weight. But then a concert came around and I drank there. I stopped for a few weeks but went to a funeral where everyone was drinking. I ended up doing a shot and it was game on from there. I drank for 6 days straight after that. I just couldn’t say no whenever someone offered me a drink.
[21:11] Did you ever put any rules in place to try and control your drinking?
Ashley – I’ve tried every rule imaginable; from only drinking on the weekends, to never drinking at home, or only drinking after the children went to bed.
[24:00] How did you get sober this time?
Ashley – I try and go to AA every day and I listen to podcasts.
[25:41] What are you going to do differently this time?
Ashley – I am distancing myself from my drinking friends and trying to make new sober friends. I also am looking for on-line support in order to locate sober people in my area.
[27:54] Do you think you will ever be able to attend shows sober?
Ashley – Right now, no. But I love music so eventually I would like to be able to go. It is going to take some time.
[29:23] Did you ever go to any “dark” places while drinking?
Ashley – I had tons of blackouts and I lost my license for 5 years.
[29:23] Paul and Ashley talk about a time when she felt like drinking but managed to control the urge.
Ashley – I was recently home alone and starting getting those thoughts of drinking. I watched a few videos on U-Tube and thought that if I drank, I would ruin my week again.
[33:05] What is a typical day like for you?
Ashley – I try to keep very busy with work. I also plan what AA meeting I am going to attend and get up and go.
[34:52] What are your thoughts on a HP?
Ashley – I believe in God and would go to church occasionally as a child. I am trying to get back into church.
[35:49] What are you most proud of and how are your relationships now?
Ashley – I am most proud of being there for my children. I am more active with them. My relationship is much better with them. My children see me being active and happy.
[37:33] Do you have anything on your bucket list?
Ashley – I want to be able to truly love myself and my life. I want to be able to do things without booze.
[38:35] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to firstname.lastname@example.org
Check out the upcoming Machu Picchu trip in 2018. Send an e-mail to email@example.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
Buddy, with 7 years of sobriety, bounced in an out of AA for from 2002-2008 before something finally stuck and ironically, he explains how drinking actually saved his life.
I read the following line out of an AA Grapevine, August 2013 issue, while on a tumultuous ride over a high altitude Andean pass in Chile. It didn’t help that I was only 2 days sober (relapsed shortly after reading that line and ended up vomiting on myself and the bus) and I thought a relationship would solve my problems.
Page 53 in the 12&12:
The primary fact that we fail to recognize is our total inability to form a true partnership with another human being.
Also in the episode, Paul discusses the must see The Anonymous People, which is a documentary about recovery.
Maggie who has 14 days of sobriety in her early recovery explains how she made it this far and what gave her the motivation to stop drinking alcohol.
Here are some of the resources discussed in Episode 10
And of course, the battle with the iPhone
In this episode, I interview Tom, who has 4 more days of sobriety than myself, and I hope that never changes! Tom you are officially my new accountability partner.
In this episode I discuss 6 ways you can take action before really taking action.
1. Wake up - set a routine
2. Pray, say something positive to yourself and meditate
3. Make healthy meals
4. Clean - organize the space you live in
5. Exercise - walk, jog, run, stretch
6. Get busy - keep your mind off alcohol with healthy time consuming tasks
DIY Pete has a great website that walks viewers through building great projects STEP BY STEP. This is a great resource and healthy activity in early sobriety!
Paul climbed Machu Picchu in 2014 while sobering up and the trek mentally and physically kicked my butt. In 2015, he dominated the trek becuase sobriety was with my every step of the way.
In this Episode Paul talks about speaking to the girls in the Peruvian Promises program, which is part of the non profit Peruvian Hearts about the topic of alcoholism. Although none of the girls in the orphanages and the Peruvian Promise program are alcoholics, several of their parents are. Portions of the donations submitted through the website and mobile app will be given to the Peruvian Hearts program in addition Paul will be organizing a trip in 2016 to the volunteer again.
Paul speaking to the girls of the Peruvian Promise program
Paul and Nate hitch hiking in El Salvador in sobriety! You can tell it's a little warm at the time this photo was taken!
Alcohol is the most dangerous drug in the world and you probably don’t even realize it.
David Nutt, psychiatrist at imperial college in the UK and former Chairman of the UK advisory council on drugs.
- Kills 3 million people worldwide
- Was fired for suggesting alcohol was most dangerous drug
- In the USA alcohol is responsible for 1/3 of all traffic fatalities
- With homicides ½ were intoxicated and 2/3 of domestic violence victims
- You’re likely to be a victim is doubled as well
Harm score from
- Measures drugs on a score of 16 (9 measure harm to individual user and 7 measure societal factors)
- Heroine, crack, and Meth are more dangerous when only individual factors, but even so, alcohol is the 4th.
- Tobacco is the 7th most harmful drug. 9/10 people can handle alcohol, but 0/10 people can smoke. QUIT SMOKING NOW
- Important to not confuse legality with dangerousness. The reasons some drugs are legal are mainly cultural and political.
- Marijuana is the gateway drug? Nope. It’s alcohol and even more dangerous than ecstasy and LSD
When I found out one of my brother's best friends is an alcoholic I was blown away; an a little upset that we hadn't connected years before so we could have been working together.
Here are some of the resources that Elliot likes.
Like Elliot mentioned, if you would like to get in touch with Elliot, email firstname.lastname@example.org and we will put you in touch with him.