Kyle took his last drink on May 31 2020. With 82 days away from alcohol (at the time of this recording), this is his story of living alcohol free (AF).
Recovery Elevator RESTORE January 2021 Course. We will be offering this starting 1/1/2021. Weâre meeting 13 times in January via Zoom to give you the tools and accountability needed for an alcohol-free January⊠and hopefully more!
Weâll be focusing more on creating a life where alcohol is no longer needed. Weâve found that when we have healthy altruistic relationships with fellow human beings, the need for alcohol or any external substance drastically reduces. For more information and to sign up, use this link.
Odetteâs weekly installment of: Finding Your Better You
Sometimes we get stuck. When Odette gets stuck, she repeats this simple phrase to herself. âPlease help me see things differently.â Being shown the same scenario through a different lens helps to shift the perspective. Different questions help to see things in a new way and get unstuck. If youâre feeling stuck are you asking yourself the wrong questions?
[7:44] Odette introduces Kyle.
Kyle is 33 years old and from Michigan. He is married and has three young daughters. He works in the automotive industry as a program manager. For fun heâs been planning the future with his wife, he also likes gaming and running.
[10:49] Can you give listeners some background on your story?
Kyle said the first time he got drunk was when he was 14, but he didnât notice a change in his drinking until he was in his 20s. He was taking on a lot at the time and failing a lot at things. He looked to beer to take the edge off which turned into drinking to black out every night. He tried quitting many times and this stretch is the longest heâs gone in 10 years.
[13:37] When did you notice you were using alcohol to cope?
Kyle said he realized this subconsciously early on but was trying to quit on willpower alone. He figured out the price for alcohol and the euphoria it brought was higher than he was willing to pay. Alcohol stopped being enjoyable at the end because he was just chasing something.
[17:25] What happened when you returned from Japan and you realized you couldnât shake it?
Kyle said rock bottom wasnât one individual thing. He realized he was letting his wife and kids down often. He would wake up ashamed. During a conversation with his wife, she mentioned a friend who worked with people with addiction issues. Kyle was given some reference material. He found other like-minded people and thatâs really what helped him.
[21:23] Tell me about your attempts to stop drinking.
Kyle said he feels like heâs been in a fog for the last 10 years. He had a lot of vision and no energy. Every time he woke up and swore off alcohol, but 3 pm that day he was ready to drink. There was a lot of mental back and forth he experienced. He sees now that was only will power without understanding the science behind it.
[23:23] What was your mental headspace when you were trying to quit?
Kyle said he lacked a lot of self love, so he was frustrated with himself all the time. He had a good façade and came off as confident, but he wasnât the person he wanted to be internally.
[24:15] How has this time been different for you?
Kyle said he is seeking help. Also, his family is a big influence about getting sober. He knows he will be there for them.
[25:16] What do you do when you get a craving?
Kyle said he sits with it and he thinks about the morning after, his future and what the drink can lead to.
[27:30] How has staying away from alcohol affected your anxiety & depression?
Kyle said itâs still there, but itâs not as severe. He now knows that drinking wont erase them and he deals with them.
[29:44] What does a day in the life of Kyle look like?
Kyle said itâs mainly juggling his career and his family.
[29:44] What does a day in the life of Kyle look like?
Jason said he makes amends a lot. He gives himself permission to be imperfect and to circle back. He practices and allows room for mistakes to happen. Being compassionate with himself. He also applies the ABCs
[30:10] Do you have any rituals in place to help you deal with cravings?
Kyle said he likes to keep his hands busy. He does see heâs more focused on the things he loves.
[37:16] Have you noticed a difference in your relationship with your wife?
Kyle said his wife really let him do what he needed and didnât get in the way of him discovering his own path to sobriety. He has thanked her for letting him discover sobriety in his own way.
[41:20] Do you have any specific routines during the day / morning routine?
Kyle said he used to but now not really. He does try to find time to exercise because itâs a stress release. If he has extra time, read a book.
[43:43] Have you noticed your sleep has improved?
Kyle said living away from alcohol has improved his sleep. He used to drink to knock himself out. Heâs noticed itâs much better now.
[44:43] Rapid Fire Round
Show yourself a little self love and try to understand the science behind why you drink.
Coffee, heâs trying to find a good energy drink.
If you havenât tried it and youâre thinking about it, just try it. Try to understand it.
You may have to say adios to booze if...
you mention this question to your wife because youâre struggling to come up with an answer and she gives you a list of ten.
Odetteâs parting words:
Thank you. After many day 1s, sheâs celebrating 2 years sober this week.
Upcoming events, retreats and courses:
Affiliate Link for Endourage:
For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.
Affiliate Link for Amazon:
Shop via Amazon using this link.
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources:
Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to -info@recoveryelevator.com
âRecovery Elevator â Everything that you need is already inside of you- I love you guysâ
Dr. Jason Powers took his last drink in June 2003. With many days away from all substances, this is his story of living substance free.
Recovery Elevator RESTORE January 2021 Course. We will be offering this starting 1/1/2021. Weâre meeting 13 times in January via Zoom to give you the tools and accountability needed for an alcohol-free January⊠and hopefully more!
Weâll be focusing more on creating a life where alcohol is no longer needed. Weâve found that when we have healthy altruistic relationships with fellow human beings, the need for alcohol or any external substance drastically reduces. For more information and to sign up, use this link.
Odetteâs weekly installment of: Finding Your Better You
What do we do when we are waiting for an outcome or a result? Traditionally: we bolt, we remove ourselves from the moment. In sobriety we have to feel all our feelings. Feeling them is the proof that we are staying true to ourselves. And that in itself is bad ass. Keeping in mind we have to feel the feelings, but also process them, not allow ourselves to get stuck in them. On days like today, when most people feel depleted, we have to find ways to fill up our gas tank.
[7:03] Odette introduces Dr. Jason.
Jason is 50 years old and lives in Houston, Texas. He is a physician that focuses on addiction medicine as well as an author, an interventionist, the founder of Positive Recovery. He is married and has 3 children: 18, 15 & 11. For fun he exercises and plays the drums,
[10:07] Can you give listeners some background on your story?
Jason said his first drug was sugar. It was the summer before 9th grade when he first tried marijuana. While he would quit from time to time, he consumed it a lot. He drank in high school and college. Jason quit everything during medical school. He said he went out of control after his residency because no eyes were on him anymore. He had access to cough syrup with hydrocodone which had its own set of repercussions. He had an intervention and went to rehab. In rehab he had a moment of surrender to addiction.
[16:30] What is your definition of Positive Recovery?
Jason said while he did get sober through a 12-step program. However he woke up later to exploring beyond the 12-steps and a broader array of recovery methods. The science of happiness (Positive Psychology) was something that he learned about and jumped in. He began to apply these methods to addictive disorders. Helping to improve outcomes is Dr. Jasonâs end goal.
[25:13] Personally, did you have to deal with any relapses after your time in treatment / early recovery?
Jason said he felt like he had a lot of reasons for shame surrounding his addiction. In his profession itâs often looked at as a character flaw. He was very distraught and afraid when he finally surrendered to the addiction. He didnât have a relapse, but realizes he is an anomaly. In the beginning there was the desire to relapse, but he pushed through the feelings that came with it.
[29:56] Tell me about CBT.
Jason said that Dr. Aaron Beck created CBT. Dr. Beck decided he needed to develop a tool to change the thinking and behavior and there is a different result. The ABCâs are: A- Activating Event, B- Belief/Thought, C- Consequence. Making the change and having people argue with themselves (A & B) to change the consequence.
ACR- Active Constructive Responding- Dr. Jason wants us all to google this and inform ourselves and apply this to our lives!
[38:28] Tell me how your life has changed.
Jason said a part of him woke up or was reborn after addiction. Heâs still himself, but just different. Heâs living a full complete lifestyle away from substances. Heâs honest, my generous, more empathetic.
[40:38] How do you navigate difficult situations personally?
Jason said he makes amends a lot. He gives himself permission to be imperfect and to circle back. He practices and allows room for mistakes to happen. Being compassionate with himself. He also applies the ABCs.
[42:46] Rapid Fire Round
Diet orange soda.
Go find Amy Powers and marry her and get into recovery quickly!
Other people, other people, other people
Ken Follett, A Dangerous Fortune
What are you waiting for? Try it out.
You may have to say adios to booze if...
itâs causing more negative consequences to your life then itâs adding benefits.
Odetteâs weekly challenge:
Think about the intro, how do you spend your waiting periods? Do you know you can come back to yourself by simply breathing and being mindful? Peace begins with you.
Upcoming events, retreats and courses:
Affiliate Link for Endourage:
For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.
Affiliate Link for Amazon:
Shop via Amazon using this link.
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources:
Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to -info@recoveryelevator.com
âRecovery Elevator â You are your own paradiseâ
Jamie took her last drink April 16, 2019. With 485 days away from alcohol, (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol free (AF).
Odetteâs weekly installment of: Finding Your Better You
She is currently re-reading The Compound Effect. The general idea is that baby steps add up into large rewards. Change is hard. Gaining momentum on a decision is hard. This applies to our alcohol-free journey: turning down drinks, one at a time. Once we reframe the idea of this being a sacrifice and think of it as an opportunity instead, the trajectory changes. We must think of all the things we can add into our lives without alcohol. Odette makes a list of the things she has room for in her life now. Why donât you make one too?
[7:00] Odette introduces Jamie
Jamie is 35 years old and lives on Long Island, NY. Her immediate family lives close and she lives with her 2 black cats. Jamie is a social worker. For fun she likes to run, go kayaking, reading, cooking and hanging out with friends. Being in nature is the best, itâs where she finds her higher power.
[9:57] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking?
Jamie said she started drinking at the end of high school. In college her drinking seemed normal. She found there were hills and valleys with her drinking. When Jamie lost her mother at the age of 22 she remembers she was in a club in Greece and she identifies the synergy with that happening. The last 3-4 years her drinking escalated. She was blacking out and making poor choices. Looking back she can see the pattern of co-dependency.
[12:57] Did you notice after your mother passed that you used alcohol to deal with your grief?
Jamie said at first, she was so busy taking care of her father and making sure he was ok that alcohol was a secondary thought. But once she had some time away and time with her own feelings, she could see she was using alcohol the same as her mother, to numb down any emotions.
[18:05] Tell me about the first couple weeks of your journey?
Jamie said this was really the first time she honestly tried to get stop drinking. She had been living on the river of denial before this. Growing up her family didnât express feelings, they drank or got angry. So, the first few weeks were new. She started a 12-step program and therapy. Jamie only knew 2 sober people at the time and she spoke to them a lot.
[23:49] What did you do initially when you had a craving?
Jamie said she didnât really have a craving for the drink, but it was an emotional craving instead. She used a new found self-awareness to explore the feelings. She would pause and ask herself some questions about why she was feeling that way.
[28:18] After making the decision to not drinking, did you talk to your friends and family about it?
Jamie said she told people very quickly. She said the safe sentence âIâm not drinking right nowâ. After about a month, she started to see how this could be a lifestyle for her. 5-6 months in she began to share very openly on social media.
[30:48] Whatâs been the hardest part of this journey for you?
Jamie said feeling her feelings and not fighting them. Allowing the feelings to just be there.
[34:27] Whatâs your morning routine?
Wakes up at 6am, feeds cats, reads and then moves her body. For the last 81 days (at the time of recording) Jamie has been running every morning. New Fashioned Sobriety and their Zero Proof Run Club hosted and a streaker challenge that she completed. Initially it was 41 days, which she completed. And now her pledge to herself is to move her body daily. She also makes sure to meditate daily.
[37:01] Did you used to have a witching hour?
Jamie said right after work, 5-7pm when before she would be at happy hour and now she fills the time with new routines. A fun mocktail, some tea, go for a walk, walk with a friend.
[40:13] Rapid Fire Round
Have her first sober healthy relationship.
Good Morning, Destroyer of Men's Souls: A Memoir of Women, Addiction, and Love
I can do almost anything sober that I did drunk.
Jamie you are a warrior, you are a force you have no idea what this is going to bring you. You can be a light for other people.
Anything with chocolate or peanut butter in it and even together!
Café RE, Podcasts- Recovery Elevator, Recovery Happy Hour, Seltzer Squad, yoga, walking, running, kayaking and This Naked Mind and Sober Curious.
You are a brave, gentle soul and I applaud you. I wish you so much fun on your journey. Itâs about taking that pain and making it fun. Tell somebody.
You may have to say adios to booze...
You drank so much while living in your parents basement and you couldnât make it upstairs to the bathroom, so you throw up in the washing machine.
Odetteâs weekly challenge:
Think about your AF journey. How much have you been trying to hold onto things you think this journey will take from you? Is that realistic? Make a shift, start thinking about what you want to set out of this. About what you want to add to your life? Open your eyes, beauty is all around us. Choose you, stay sober, youâre also subscribing to abundance.
Upcoming events, retreats and courses:
Affiliate Link for Endourage:
For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.
Affiliate Link for Amazon:
Shop via Amazon using this link.
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources:
Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to -info@recoveryelevator.com
âRecovery Elevator â The birds are singing and when we are sober, we can actually hear them â I love you guys.â
Alex took her last drink April 25, 2020. With exactly 109 days away from alcohol, (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol free (AF).
Odetteâs weekly installment of: Finding Your Better You
The end of the year is the time when Odette sees a lot of âfuck-itsâ. Putting your goals on hold and coasting to the end of the year, to start fresh in the new year. 2020 particularly has been hard as so much was put on hold; we can now choose to make this year mean nothing or everything. Keep going, keep putting your good energy into the year. The rest of this year is a marathon, not a sprint to 2021. Hold onto your sobriety, visualize your path, see the people along the way cheering you on, see the finish line. You can do this.
[7:30] Odette introduces Alex
Alex is 28 years old. She is originally from Indianapolis, IN and just moved to Denver, CO. She loves hiking, mountain biking, being outside. She lives with a roommate and her dog. Sheâs the âdesignated ice cream friendâ among her group of friends.
[10:50] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking?
Alex said she was never someone who drank daily, but she found herself often in drinking situations and she wasnât able to moderate. She moved from Chicago back to Indianapolis and the drinking didnât change like she hoped it would. Alex began to make rules around her drinking to try to moderate. Morning after morning of not remembering nights she began to explore and consider a life without alcohol. She wanted to remember everything.
[14:04] What drew you to start listening to Recovery Elevator?
Alex said when she was questioning her drinking, she felt she couldnât tell anyone in her circle of friends but knew there had to be something out there in the podcast world. There was one in particular that spoke to her, she saw herself in the interviewee. Alex began to get angry at the alcohol.
[17:42] What tools work for you?
Alex said she walks every day, minimum 2 hours. Thatâs been therapeutic for her. It allows her to slow down and focus on the little things in life. When she feels a craving, she goes for a walk.
[19:08] Do people around you know youâre sober?
Alex said everybody knows now. It started as a whisper to some people and now itâs something that is just known. When 1000 Hours Dry was looking for a host, she signed right up, giving her an extra layer of accountability.
[23:27] Whatâs your worst memory from drinking?
Alex said she woke up one morning, not remembering at all how she got home from the night before. She decided to take herself out to brunch, where she drank and rode herself home on her bike. She had an accident, breaking her wrist and giving herself a concussion.
[27:00] Whatâs your go to response when someone offers you a drink?
Alex said she says âno thank you, I have my own drink!â
[28:55] Have you gotten to the bottom of why you chose to drink?
Alex said she was lonely and seeking validation. She felt she would be more likable if she drank.
[33:28] Do you ever feel a disconnect in your age decade and when you got sober?
Alex said she was nervous about this choice and how it would affect her social life. Reframing the idea of not drinking is what helped her get through it. She wanted to remember the things that hadnât happened yet.
[33:28] Do you ever feel a disconnect in your age decade and when you got sober?
Alex said she was nervous about this choice and how it would affect her social life. Reframing the idea of not drinking is what helped her get through it.
[36:41] Whatâs been the hardest part of the last few months?
Letting go of expectations and having different expectations. Having to go with the flow.
[39:16] Do you have a daily routine?
Alex said she making coffee is therapeutic to her. She focuses on the enjoyment she will get from the process and the end result. She journals while drinking the coffee. Her walking is also part of what keeps her sane. Alex has some playlists that bring her peace.
[43:42] Rapid Fire Round
You deserve a life without alcohol.
Getting yoga certification, meeting new people.
Graham Central Station or TJ Cookie Butter
You donât need a drink. You just need to be and sit through the feeling.
I promise this decision is fun.
You may have to say adios to booze...
Youâre only guaranteed to go to a wedding if thereâs an open bar.
Odetteâs weekly challenge:
Commit to finishing the race. Commit to your sobriety.
Flip the question. Instead of âWhatâs the worst that can happen?â ask âWhatâs the best that can happen?â
Upcoming events, retreats and courses:
GrĂŒvi discount code:
For 15% off your order with GrĂŒvi visit their website and use the promo code recovery elevator at checkout.
Affiliate Link for Endourage:
For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.
Affiliate Link for Amazon:
Shop via Amazon using this link.
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources:
Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to -info@recoveryelevator.com
âRecovery Elevator â I believe in you, Happy Thanksgivingâ
Dusty took his last drink September 21, 2015. With exactly 5 years away from alcohol, (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF).
Odetteâs weekly installment of: Finding Your Better YouâŠ..by Paul Churchill
How to get your 300 Power Stance:
Grab a stick and stand in front of a mirror, put on some good music, bend the knees and ankles. Get low and grip the stick (or rake or broom). Become one with the stick. Look yourself in the eyes (in the mirror) and say, âIâm here, right now, what do you got?â, repeat, louder. Repeat and get lower. Find your stance. Focus on your connection to the earth. Pull up a painful moment from the past and change the script. Bring up the unfinish emotion and feel it. Remind yourself you are safe.
[16:00] Paul introduces Dusty.
Dusty is from Bozeman, MT. Heâs a finance director for a local non-profit and just got engaged yesterday! For fun he likes to play rec sports. He goes hunting, camping, hiking and fishing in the beautiful weather he has in Bozeman.
[20:50] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking?
Dusty said the day before his last drink was spent watching sports and he blacked out around 9:30pm. The next day his friend was leaving for an around-the-world trip and he went to her leaving drinks. The bartender that night came up to him and explained that if they were working that night Dusty would have been kicked out for his behavior the night before. Another friend of his, he had kicked in the backside and when he saw her, he saw fear in her eyes when she looked at him. He paid his tab and left the bar. Never touched alcohol again. His losing control was a big motivator for him to stay sober.
[25:34] When did you find community?
Dusty said heâs been very lucky to have known Paul Churchill for a while before he quit. Paul was the first person he told he quit drinking and knew that community would be there for him. At the time Recovery Elevator was just getting started and Dusty participated. He was surprised how easy it was for him to share his story.
[30:11] How have the years changed for you?
Dusty said the 1st year was exactly that, just getting through the 1st year without a drink. In year 2 the real healing began. In 2019 was when he realized alcohol was the symptom, not the problem. He grew up with a verbally abusive father and being scared as a child, his option was to freeze and stay quiet. Coming into year 5 heâs begun therapy to understand the deep stuff that is why he reached for alcohol.
[37:17] What was on your heart yesterday?
Dusty said yesterday reflecting on the timeline of his life and his drinking was a lot for him. There was anger and sadness about the pain he experienced growing up. He was dwelling a little on the negative and he was able to purge it and get it out.
[43:51] How has the relationship with yourself changed over the last 5 years?
Dusty said he loves himself a lot more and continues to work on that. He has more confidence. Loving himself better lets him love the world better as well. Dusty now gives himself grace and is no longer his own worst critic. His physical appearance and health overall has changed drastically for the better.
[46:27] When the shame and guilt from your initial motivator decreased, what filled its place as a new motivator?
Dusty said his pink cloud lasted for years. He could see how much better his life was from walking away from alcohol. Nothing in his life got worse, everything got better. So, the idea of taking one drink he knew would make his life worse again.
[48:55] Do you still get cravings?
Dusty said no, not anymore. Very few moments have made him want to have a drink.
[49:38] What do you do now when life throws you a curveball?
Dusty said exercise works for him. He goes for a run and gets in the zone. He will also try to sit with the emotions and see where itâs coming from. Heâs lucky to have close friends and family and he can talk to them.
[54:05] Rapid Fire Round
Dusty, sit with the shame for a while, but donât dwell on it forever. Use it for fuel. Enjoy the ride, all the ups and downs.
He is more of a leader now.
Ben & Jerryâs AmeriCone Dream or Cherry Garcia
Heâs reading a book about crows and ravens.
You may have to say adios to booze...
If you are a recurring guest on the Recovery Elevator podcast!
Paulâs recap:
2020- what happened?! As per the Mayan Calendar: there is a gigantic evolutionary leap that the race needs to go through. Itâs a leap through consciousness, not a physical leap.
Those with addiction are forced to go within and address our own inner discomfort. Because we didnât have a choice. Realizing our inner world is more real than the outer world.
Upcoming events, retreats and courses:
Affiliate Link for Endourage:
For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.
Affiliate Link for Amazon:
Shop via Amazon using this link.
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources:
Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to -info@recoveryelevator.com
âRecovery Elevator â We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, Rule #22, we have to lighten up, we can do thisâ Go big, because eventually we all go homeâ
Desi took her last drink July 21, 2018. With just over 2 years away from alcohol, (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol free (AF).
If you haven't checked out the RE merchandise...what are you waiting for??
You can see what we have available here!
Odetteâs weekly installment of: Finding your Better YouâŠ..
Hard days happen for everyone and donât believe that highlight reel you see on Instagram! Odette calls these âdip daysâ. Itâs ok to not thrive every single day, itâs ok to let feelings pass, itâs ok to be honest and you are not alone. 2020 is here to remind us we are stronger than we think and also what grief feels like.
Odette wants to share her tools for what helps her during these dip days.
[7:34] Odette introduces Desi.
Desi is 30 years old and lives in Michigan. She is finished up her Masterâs in social work at University of Michigan (go blue!). In her spare time, she coaches high school lacrosse which is a huge passion of hers.
[12:38] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking?
Desi said her journey started at the age of 7 with an eating disorder after being sexually abused. At the age of 14 a cousin passed away and that was a big turning point for her. Her family didnât talk about emotions. And around this time, she started drinking as well. Her first drink wasnât normal, and it flipped a switch: she wanted more. In college she made friends with a group of people who âdidnât make wise decisionsâ so neither did she. Life was very hard for Desi during this. In college she met another woman, Vera, who became her sister and she credits Vera with saving her life. In 2009 she began to have chest pains, which was always diagnosed as âanxietyâ, but Desi knew it wasnât. In 2012 her sister Lauren got her into a treatment center for her eating disorder. In her second time in ED rehab she tried to get sober. However, Desi considered herself a dry drunk. November 2014 she began drinking again.
[34:04] When you came out of treatment were you frustrated that you also had to remove alcohol?
Desi said she didnât even think she had a problem with alcohol at first. She knew her eating disorder was killing her and that was her focus. She held onto all the other toxic things so she could cope. Desi was scared if she didnât have other things to help her get through life.
[39:41] Tell me about the first couple months of your sobriety.
Desi said she worked a program with AA. She had severe withdrawal symptoms, but she was able to talk about it in AA. There was nothing left to hide, and Desi was very honest in her shares. She reflected back on what made her want to quit drinking in the first place. Staying connected and finding community was what helped.
[44:09] Did your anxiety get better?
Desi said yes. While sheâs a naturally anxious person, her anxiety has leveled. She was able to get off medication. Where her anxiety used to sit is no longer there. She experiences anxiety just like other people do, because thatâs life.
[46:28] Tell me about sharing openly.
Desi said she needed to be able to share, she looks at it as a duty. Her sharing helps other people. She tells her story for those close to her that passed away and werenât able to tell theirs.
[50:50] Rapid Fire Round
Hold, have hope, let people help you, and listen to others.
An internship at UofM.
No, Iâm good.
If you can think of best case scenario for your life, just know that without alcohol itâs 100% possible.
You may have to say adios to booze...
If you sneak out, get drunk, come back home, fall down the stairs, break your leg running to the bathroom to throw up.
Odetteâs challenge this week:
Reach you, Odette is here for you.
Upcoming events, retreats and courses:
Affiliate Link for Endourage:
For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.
Affiliate Link for Amazon:
Shop via Amazon using this link.
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources:
Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to -info@recoveryelevator.com
âRecovery Elevator â We took the stairs down, we gotta take the elevator back up, we can do thisâ I love you guysâ
Karla took her last drink December 31, 2018. With 583 away from alcohol, (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol free (AF).
Ditching the Booze - The What, the Why and the How. The new course will start November 11th, 2020. Itâs FREE for CafĂ© RE members. Not a CafĂ© Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY for waive the set-up fee.
Odetteâs weekly installment of: Finding your Better YouâŠ..
Melanie Beattie says âWhat would happen if we let go of our camouflage of adaptation? What would happen if we owned our power to be ourselves?
Would people still like us? Would they go away? Would they become angry?
There comes a time when we become willing and ready to take that risk. To continue growing, and living with ourselves, we realize we must liberate ourselvesâ
Itâs very vulnerable to show up as our authentic selves. The more we pursue a life away from alcohol the more we walk to liberate ourselves. The humble confidence that shows up allows us to show up authentically. Remember, thereâs only one you.
[7:10] Odette introduces Karla.
Karla is 33, grew up in the suburbs of Los Angeles and has lived in San Francisco for the past 7 years. She is an executive assistant for a tech company in the Bay area. She lives with her partner (fiancĂ©!) and her puppy. For fun sheâs been working on some passion projects, SoberIRL is one of those!
[10:29] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking?
Karla said she started drinking when she was 19. She was studying abroad and hadnât yet made friends. Drinking was an easy way to make friends. She mimicked their style of drinking. Karla called herself a âweekend warriorâ in her style of drinking. It didnât occur to her until after she stopped drinking that her drinking was beyond what someone for her stature should. By the time she was 21 she knew she had a problem. Between brown outs and black outs she was piecing together the nights out with her friends.
The juxtaposition between Karla the party girl and Karla the high achiever was a push and pull she felt deeply, but she didnât know how to stop drinking.
[18:07] Where you stuck in this cycle for a long time?
Karla said she began seeing an alcohol counselor around the age of 25. The recommendation was to stop drinking, which she wasnât ready for because it was also her social life. In July 2018 she was able to get 45 days. Using that time, she sought out other methods of getting sober. Until her birthday and then she drank again. Finally, on New Yearâs Eve she was so hung over from the night before she couldnât go with her partner to a party, and that was it for her.
[23:29] Tell me about the beginning of your sobriety.
Karla said she still felt those first 45 days, she was being punished because she couldnât drink. This time around she didnât tell anyone she was restarting, and she wanted to try to be kind to herself this time. She gave herself the grace to accept that this is difficult. She taught herself that not every thought that came into her mind was true.
[28:51] How did you find your community?
Karla said at first it was all on Instagram. She followed Holly on Instagram and drew a lot of strength from her because she saw similarities in Hollyâs story. Also Bridge Club through Tempest was the first time she sat with others who wanted to live this life the same way. Karla knew she needed to find sober friends. With 8 months sober she attended the Recovery Elevator Bozeman retreat in 2019 and she felt herself really start to open up and found the ability to have fun and live life sober.
[34:21] Tell me how you feel now being an advocate for other people looking to get sober?
Karla said she never thought she would be in this position. She wanted to share being an openly sober Latina as she couldnât find any others. She wants people to see that they can have fun and be a normal human at the same time. (Karla_is_Sober)
[37:22] Tell me about how you share so you can be the person you needed when trying to get sober.
Karla said she always felt because she was so high functioning, she couldnât have a problem with alcohol. She told herself everything she was doing was normal. Karla wants to shed the shame and let people know that if alcohol isnât serving you anymore, you can stop. Success doesnât mean happiness. Karla wants people to know that people can turn their lives around and life can be so much more fulfilling.
[43:45] Do you get cravings?
Karla said not really at this point. Itâs not a physical craving, itâs an emotional craving and itâs fleeting.
[45:41] Rapid Fire Round
No thanks!
LaCroix Pamplemousse
PASS
Mint chocolate chip
I love you and Iâm so proud of you
You know where alcohol leads you, get first-hand experience of a life away from it.
You may have to say adios to booze...
If the DoorDash driver knocks on your door for your wine delivery, but you donât remember ordering it.
Odetteâs challenge this week:
You are good enough. Step onto the dance floor, we are waiting you!
Upcoming events, retreats and courses:
Affiliate Link for Endourage:
For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.
Affiliate Link for Amazon:
Shop via Amazon using this link.
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources:
Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to -info@recoveryelevator.com
âRecovery Elevator â Own your power to be yourself today, Own your power to be yourself today â I love you guysâ
Megan took her last drink April 20, 2020. With 108 days away from alcohol, (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol free (AF).
Ditching the Booze - The What, the Why and the How. The new course will start November 11th, 2020. Itâs FREE for CafĂ© RE members. Not a CafĂ© Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY for waive the set-up fee.
Odetteâs weekly installment of: Finding the Better YouâŠ..
Odette discusses Dax Shepard and the recent restarting of his sobriety clock. She appreciates how he is always seeking a life build in honesty and finding moment of gratefulness. What connects all of us is a feeling. What connects us all is finding our way through this book of recovery. Different chapters and experiences but all rooted in the same goal. We are not alone. Keep protecting your energy.
[10:26] Odette introduces Megan.
Megan lives in Montreal, Canada and is 33 years old. She lives with her partner Tim. She is a cook at a vegan restaurant. For fun she paints and draws and loves animal portraits.
[17:29] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking?
Megan said she drank a few times drinking growing up. Her parents both drank in the home and it was very normal. She got drunk for the first time when she was 17 or 18. It allowed her to breakout of her shell and be social. Moving to Montreal it became even more ânormalâ. It is very much a part of the culture. It changed from being out and drinking, to drinking at home, to drinking at home alone. She began combining anxiety medication with alcohol and would black out. Megan questioned her drinking in her mid 20s due to so many different events. In March of 2020 she had all the alcohol that was meant for her wedding and in 30 daysâ time drank all it. It was meant to be for 80 people.
[28:43] What happened in April of this year that made you stop drinking?
Megan said it was because she ran out of alcohol. She paused and realized she had drank about $800 worth of alcohol. Megan found herself filled with shame and she realized that the way she drank it would never be enough until she was dead.
[34:08] Tell me about the first few weeks after you stopped.
Megan said itâs a little hard to remember the time right after she quit. She remembers being exuberant in finding others and creating connections. Her sleep was a little off but she was also riding the pink cloud. As time went on, she wanted to get off anti-depressants. Now sheâs starting to find an equilibrium. She can finally think properly.
[39:33] Tell me more about your new job and being sober.
Megan said she mentioned in the cover letter and again in the job interview that she is in recovery. She positioned it as an asset! They are really respectful of her being sober from alcohol.
[44:25] Tell me about your relationship with your partner now.
Megan said her partner already started out as a wicked person. He was concerned for her but also understood that the desire to stop drinking had to come from her. Heâs really proud of her and expresses that to her.
[46:36] Rapid Fire Round
You are going to flourish!
That I am capable, and I am worth a lot. Stop telling myself bullshit.
Coffee! Coffee with oat milk, iced coffee, black coffee.
Just take it day by day but remember to believe in yourself. You are capable and strong and you will keep amazing yourself.
You may have to say adios to booze...
If you drank all your wedding booze in one month that was intended for 80 people.
Odetteâs challenge this week:
Everyone is fighting their own battle and try not to judge anyone else. We need kindness and love, more than ever.
Affiliate Link for Endourage:
For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.
Affiliate Link for Amazon:
Shop via Amazon using this link.
Upcoming events, retreats and courses:
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources:
Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to -info@recoveryelevator.com
âRecovery Elevator â âStay humble and stay smiling â I love you guysâ
DeeDee took her last drink May 5, 2020. With 91 days away from alcohol, (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol free (AF).
This weekend is Recovery Elevatorâs first ever REgionals! Join us for our online zoom conference this October 23-24th. This event is FREE for CafĂ© RE Members only. Not a member yet?! Sign up here and use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Odetteâs weekly installment of: Finding the Better YouâŠ..
After watching the Social Dilemma on Netflix Odette has some thoughts about social media and its place in our lives. She wants us to continue to protect our energy and set boundaries.
[11:37] Odette introduces DeeDee.
DeeDee lives in Santa Barbara, California and is 29 years old. She lives with her finance and their 2 dogs. For work, DeeDee is the Director of Development for a non-profit. For fun sheâs trying to figure that out still, but recently sheâs begun crafting again and making candles.
[15:50] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking?
DeeDee grew up being aware of alcohol because alcoholism runs in her family. Her father got sober 14 years ago. She didnât drink a lot in high school. When she turned 21, she drank to fit in, but even then, didnât really like alcohol. In the beginning of 2013, she noticed that she drew a correlation between being loved and being intoxicated. Her partner at the time only expressed love when he was drunk. In 2017 DeeDee realized she was drinking alone. In 2018/2019 she dabbled in sobriety for short periods of time. She got engaged in late 2019 and they used that excuse for more drinking to âcelebrateâ.
[22:11] Did you ever connect the dots of alcohol being a problem in your family and your own drinking?
DeeDee said she was in denial for a lot of it. She didnât know a lot of women who had problems with alcohol, so she rationalized that it was only the men in her family who had a problem.
[23:38] Did you and your finance decide together to quit drinking?
DeeDee said they came to the conclusion of quitting drinking on their own, but also at the same time. During early sobriety they both experienced different things and she has learned how to set different expectations based on their own individual experiences.
[26:28] Tell me about the last 90 days.
DeeDee said in the beginning she was very focused on how to live a sober life and what that was going to look like for her. She was seeing changes in her thought patterns. DeeDee focused on finding out why she is the way she is. After a month or so, she began to try and find balance in her life and her recovery.
[31:17] How did the conversation go with your father when you told him you werenât drinking?
DeeDee said it happened on May 5th 2020. Heâs been incredibly supportive. The conversation was very matter of fact and easy for her. Both her parents were there, and they met her with understanding.
[32:52] What do you do when you get a craving?
DeeDee said she has more emotional cravings then physical cravings. Seeing people with a glass of wine on a patio on a Friday afternoon makes her want that feeling, not the wine. That connection and relaxation is what sheâs looking for. Now she plays the tape forward, knowing that it will not ever just be one glass of wine. Instead now she chooses a different action, be it a walk or a podcast or ice cream.
[36:47] Whatâs your favorite AF drink now?
DeeDee said sparkling water and also making a fun mocktails.
[38:54] What you been able to identify any emotional triggers?
DeeDee said sheâs learned that she has emotional triggers when sheâs feeling had a difficult day or moment. She wants to sit on the couch and feel like the alcohol is helping her unwind. Leaning her emotions are temporary has been huge.
[41:46] Have you gotten any pushback from people?
DeeDee said she started posting on an Instagram account she had that was mostly filled with followers she didnât know in real life. It was easier for her to open up and share, giving her confidence to move onto people in her real life. It was liberating when she decided to post on her ârealâ account where she was followed by people in her real life. She received awesome feedback and responses.
[45:57] Rapid Fire Round
In this moment, exactly where you are, you are enough.
The opposite of addiction is connection and how true this statement is.
Getting married and starting a life together and doing it without booze.
Chocolate chip cookie dough
Recovery Elevator podcast, Recovery Happy Hour podcast, AA meetings, therapy.
You may have to say adios to booze...
If the first time youâve ever been honest with a doctor about the amount your drinking AFTER you decided to stop.
Odetteâs challenge this week:
Take inventory of the relationship you have with your smart phone. Be honest. Make a small list of boundaries you can put in place. Baby steps add up and came impact change.
Affiliate Link for Endourage:
For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.
Affiliate Link for Amazon:
Shop via Amazon using this link.
Upcoming events, retreats and courses:
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources:
Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to -info@recoveryelevator.com
âRecovery Elevator â âTurn those fâing notifications off, lifeâs too short to be looking down at your phone all the time â I love you guysâ
Brandon took his last drink October 28, 2018. With 645 days away from alcohol, (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF).
Odetteâs weekly installment of: Finding the Better YouâŠ..
Now more than ever we need to stay rooted in kindness and live with the belief that people are just doing the best they can. In sobriety Odette has found she can give more grace to others because she is giving herself more grace and compassion.
Looking at perfectionism, it doesnât actually yield perfect results. It instead creates feelings of guilt, shame, stress, addiction, loneliness and isolation. Unsubscribe from perfectionism and just be yourself. Take care of yourself and everything else will take care of itself. And thatâs the real gift.
[7:08] Odette introduces Brandon.
Brandon lives in Orlando, Florida with his wife and son. Heâs a social media manager. For fun he likes to go on adventures with his son, he plays music and enjoys being creative.
[10:42] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking?
Brandon said he started drinking at the age of 21, he wasnât interested in drinking while growing up. He was focused on sports and playing in bands. His first couple years of drinking he didnât suffer the usual repercussions. At about 3 years in he began to experience hangovers. College drinking helped him deal with his anxiety. Brandon noticed the years after college he was using alcohol as a crutch. He found himself turning to alcohol for to handle anything that life threw at him. He was trying to show a front of perfectionism while internally struggling so much.
[19:24] Did your wife every approach you about your drinking?
Brandon said his wife would question sometimes the beer(s) he would have with dinner. He could tell she knew something was wrong. His rock bottom was a Halloween party in 2018 where he drank too much and they had a fight. She was 7 months pregnant and expressed concern about having to do the next stage of life alone. That was enough for him.
[29:11] Talk to me more about the time right after you stopped drinking.
Brandon said he was prepared for it to be hell but didnât consider all the other things that go into it. He was open with his wife and friends. He turned to fitness to keep his mind moving. He took things hour by hour and focused just on the moment he was in. Brandon discovered a confidence in himself he didnât know was there.
[35:18] Do you still get cravings?
Brandon said no, but there are times where it sounds good to take the edge off with alcohol.
[36:27] Whatâs in your toolbox?
Brandon said his wife is his biggest support. The /r/stopdrinking Reddit page. The idea of sharing with others gives him motivation.
[39:32] Do you ever get push back from people?
Brandon said yes, he does. He feels because he dealt with it silently for so many years, people had a hard time understanding the level of drinking he had come to achieve.
[44:57] Rapid Fire Round
Listen to your parents, donât try it.
Sparkling water.
Listen to your gut. Whatâs in your mind is the truth. Thereâs no better time than now.
You may have to say adios to booze...
If youâre in a meeting at 2pm and youâre thinking about what youâre going to drink tonight.
Odetteâs challenge this week:
Try to see yourself differently this week. Be more compassionate when you make a mistake. Give people in your life the benefit of the doubt. Be nice to strangers.
Affiliate Link for Endourage:
For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.
Affiliate Link for Amazon:
Shop via Amazon using this link.
Upcoming events, retreats and courses:
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources:
Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to -info@recoveryelevator.com
âRecovery Elevator â âBelieving we are all doing the best we can, can make the world a better place â I love you guysâ
Erin took her last drink May 31, 2019. With 488 days away from alcohol, (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol free (AF).
Odetteâs weekly installment of: Finding the Better YouâŠ..
Most long-term decisions have to be rooted in a place of love and not of fear. This applies to recovery and leads to the question, âWhat has recovery made possible for you?â This question helps to build the bridge from fear to love. Hearing stories of hope from others send out waves of survival. As you share your story, you donât know whoâs listening and how that might change the trajectory of their life. Odette chooses to live in the solution and show others, specifically her family, whatâs possible.
[6:23] Odette introduces Erin.
Erin and her family split time between New Hampshire and Sedona, AZ. She is married with 2 children, ages 1 & 3, she is a stay at home mom. For fun she does yoga, plays with her children, exercises and is getting to know her body.
[9:35] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking?
Erin said she first took a drink when she was 14. While that drink wasnât a problem, she began to experiment. The family setting was one where there was drinking and so it was part of what she knew growing up. Her parents separated when she was 17 and she rebelled from there. At 18, she went to the University of New Hampshire, which is a large party school. Drinking was part of the culture and it was just what everyone was doing. Erin can look back now and see how toxic it was, especially for her.
[12:03] Can you expand on your college years?
Her sophomore year, she tried sobriety. She took some time off college and did a âmajor health cleanseâ. However, when she returned, the habits also returned. She convinced herself she could moderate.
[13:14] Did you transition after college into a lifestyle that allowed you to maintain a frequency of binge drinking?
Erin said she has lived all over the place and those geographic moves are part of her story with alcohol. With periods of binge drinking and sadness coupled with periods of living with a healthy focus. Looking back, she can see she was running from her feelings and not being able to be with herself.
[15:33] What was your style of drinking and did anyone ever approach you about it while you were drinking?
Erin said she did surround herself with heavy drinkers so she could ignore the reality, there were also consequences to her drinking. She married her first husband in 2010 and they were divorced in 2012. He would speak to her about her drinking. When they separated, she took herself to her first AA meeting. However, a relapse of Lyme disease and the toll the separation was taking on her, she continued to drink daily.
Erin moved with her mother to Sedona, AZ and jumped into the AA community. She would wake up, go to a meeting, go to work at a health center and then come home and get drunk. This was when she saw that alcohol was turning her into 2 completely separate people.
[21:00] Tell me about your pregnancy and the last few years.
Erin said she got pregnant in 2016 and was able to stay sober through her pregnancy. She felt the highs and lows of pregnancy very severely and not having alcohol to help her numb was part of that. When her daughter was around 3 or 4 months, she convinced herself again she could moderate. She got pregnant with her son and again stayed sober throughout, but the pattern started again in the 4th trimester. In May 2019, she woke up violently ill and that was it.
[27:08] Tell me what you do now when you have one of these tough emotions.
Erin said she is getting to know herself again as a highly sensitive person (HSP). She taps into a lot of the digital community and is exploring the psychologic makeup of being an empath. Sheâs learning to lean in and explore the power of breath.
[29:40] Did you go back to AA?
Erin said she hasnât gone back to AA yet (busy raising the future!) but has found there are so many options out there for her online.
[32:02] How has the response been from people?
Erin said overall the response has been supportive. Those closest to her knew she had a problem. Her husband has also stopped drinking in support of her.
[37:21] Has your creativity started to spark?
Erin said absolutely. Sheâs now made the choice to âjoin the human raceâ and to love herself. She makes talking about recovery part of her everyday life and puts herself out there without shame.
[40:28] Rapid Fire Round
Youâre enough and take care of yourself.
Iâm ok in this moment and there is a purpose for why I am here.
Chocolate ice cream
Podcasts, yoga and meditation, the miracle morning idea and enjoying not being hung over. Getting outside with her kids.
Just do it. Just try it. Give yourself enough time to give it a shot.
You may have to say adios to booze...
If you donât recognize yourself anymore.
Odetteâs challenge this week:
Give yourself a few minutes to look back on your journey. Ask yourself âWhat was recovery made possible?â Write it down, read it often. You are worthy of everything.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish.
1-800-273-8255
Affiliate Link for Endourage:
For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.
Affiliate Link for Amazon:
Shop via Amazon using this link.
Upcoming events, retreats and courses:
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources:
Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to -info@recoveryelevator.com
âRecovery Elevator â âThis journey isnât always easy, but itâs worth it and I promise you itâs possible, Iâm here for you all â I love you guysâ
Rob took his last drink June 5, 2019. With over one year away from alcohol (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF).
Odetteâs weekly installment of: Finding the Better YouâŠ..
When we say no to alcohol, we are saying yes to a better life. Once the alcohol is left behind some people pick back up old hobbies, others go off to do things they thought they would never do. Give yourself some grace when you quit, and you are trying to figure out what you like to do now. Go for it, the possibilities are endless.
Is how we are choosing to spend our time after quitting drinking bringing us peace? It becomes our responsibility to protect our peace and also seek peace.
[6:22] Odette introduces Rob.
Rob is 55 and lives in Littleton, CO. He has been married to his wife for 30 years, they have 2 grown boys. Rob likes adventure sports, specifically motorbike adventuring. He also enjoys hiking, being outdoors. He very much loves what Colorado has to offer.
[9:34] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking?
Rob said he moved from rural Indiana in 1978 to Denver, CO and thatâs when alcohol became a big part of his life. Stemming from his desire to fit into a new school as a kid, he began drinking. He also took a job at a warehouse where the older employees found it funny to corrupt the 15 year old preachers kid. His parents found out and they put a stop to it. He began leading a dual life, the adrenaline seeker mountain climber motorcycle rider vs going to church 5 times a week.
On November 11, 2012 his close friend Ted passes away from cancer. Rob didnât know how to handle those feelings and after this he began drinking at home. By the end he was blacking out 3-5 nights a week.
[17:02] Did you ever think to yourself âI might have a drinking problem?â
Rob said he didnât even have that thought. The mentality around the group he was in was âwork hard, play hardâ.
[17:32] After Ted passed, were you conscious of the fact that you were using alcohol to hide the pain?
Rob said that never occurred to him until he was in recovery.
[19:12] Tell me about after your wife left?
Rob said he gained enough clarity that night to realize the choice was alcohol or his marriage. He chose to fight for his marriage and that night was his last drink.
That next morning on his drive to work, rather than listening to his usual drive music, he listened to a podcast about recovery. That night he found an AA meeting as well.
[25:15] Tell me about the resentment you had and when you felt the shift.
Rob said it was a progression for him. He didnât really find a home until he found CafĂ© RE in September 2019. He felt the connections become real.
[28:26] Tell me about those first few months after you quit.
Rob said at 4 months he had done a lot of the brain work. He was trying to connect to his emotions and doing real work on himself. Then in October 2019, a driver ran a red light and collided with the side of his car going 55 MPH. He suffered a traumatic brain injury. While physically ok, he had to/has to work hard to get back to himself and heal himself, again.
[35:00] Do you still get cravings and how do you handle them?
Rob said he does still get cravings. And when he does, he goes into his sobriety toolbox. The first thing he does is wait 20 minutes and then he has to figure out why the craving happened. If that doesnât work he page 84âs his sponsor. This means: working the steps in your everyday life.
[39:16] Do you ever get push back from people when you tell them you donât drink?
Rob said no one gives him push back.
[40:33] Rapid Fire Round
That first night at AA, Iâm ok and Iâm not alone.
10 deep breaths and give yourself a big hug.
Butt Burner Gold which is 1500 miles in 24 hours on a motorcycle.
Stick around. Do the work. Itâs worth it. One day you will wake up and see that itâs all worth it, you have this nice little life now.
You may have to say adios to booze...
If you got kicked out of public school for drinking and your parents put you into a parochial school and you show up to bible study drunk.
Odetteâs challenge this week:
Close your eyes for a few minutes and think about the things that bring you peace. Drop them down and keep them close. Get in the habit of looking for this peaceful feeling.
Affiliate Link for Endourage:
For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.
Affiliate Link for Amazon:
Shop via Amazon using this link.
Upcoming events, retreats and courses:
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources:
Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to -info@recoveryelevator.com
âRecovery Elevator â âProtect your peace â I love you guysâ
Will took his last drink April 10, 2018. With just over 2 years away from alcohol (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF).
Odetteâs weekly installment of: Finding the Better YouâŠ..
Navigating through tough times. Removing alcohol allows you to actually do something about a problem, however sometimes without alcohol in front of it, a problem can present more clearly. Itâs hard to do the hard thing and easy to pretend our problems arenât really there. We have a choice to accept the problem (the storm) as it presents itself and its aftereffects as part of a life without alcohol.
[7:01] Odette introduces Will.
Will is 43 and lives in Queens, NY. Heâs an IT consultant and married with a dog. For fun he loves to be outdoors, surfing, live music, cooking, biking, running and traveling.
[9:34] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking?
Will said he was 12 when he has his first drink on vacation, but he considers his real entrance to alcohol was around the age of 15. It dissolved the anxiety he felt in social situations. In college he went full force into drinking and it quickly became a daily habit. He sought out others who drank like he did.
[12:57] Were you a high performer in school?
Will said alcohol did impact his school work. He had no direction for what he wanted to do the rest of his life. He found himself drinking in exchange for doing things he loved.
[14:22] What happened after college?
Will said followed a band he loved around the country and fully fell into the drinking and partying culture.
[16:18] Did you ever question your drinking?
Will said no, because he had surrounded himself with a culture of drinking and partying. So, he was around it and it was normalized within his circle.
[18:23] Walk me through your next life chapter?
Will said he moved to Washington state with his now wife and went back to school. There was less drinking, and he was able to focus on his schoolwork and life. He found some balance mixed in with the pockets of crazy times.
Once he finished school he moved back to New York and began work, but also was staying out late drinking. He noticed the change in his physical alcohol dependance at this moment.
[22:34] Did you introduce moderation rules?
Will said he attempted moderation at home and it simply evaporated over time.
[23:21] Did you start having conversations with your wife about this?
Will said him and his wife were both âin itâ at the time. (She is also now in recovery.) There was enabling happening and it was difficult to navigate.
[24:05] Did you have a rock bottom?
Will said he sought out a doctor to prescribe him something to help him get through the physical dependency. However, looking back, that was just another layer onto addiction. This went on for years with a chaotic life and drinking. He sought treatment after two friends expressed concern in 2016.
He did a 28-day inpatient program. While he wasnât ready fully for recovery, but at the same time wanted to change his life. He made it through but relapsed within 60 days.
[29:14] Walk me through 2016 â 2018.
Will said he was trying in those two years, but it seemed impossible. While he was in and out of the AA rooms, he wasnât doing the work that he was told was needed.
April 10, 2018, he entered a detox again after 3 days of a mental psychosis.
[33:13] What changed this time?
Will said there was enough pain in his life, he realized he needed to make a change.
[34:30] Do you still get cravings?
Will said not really, he gets fleeting thoughts.
[34:40] What your biggest way of coping with uncomfortable feelings?
Will said you get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Once he started to take his sobriety seriously, he accepted the program he was being told to work. He can now make sense of his feelings without alcohol numbing them down. Thereâs purpose in the struggles we go through.
[37:45] Have you healed the nerve damage in your feet at all?
Will said the rest of his body has healed which helps the pain overall. That makes the nerve pain manageable as a whole. He looks at the pain as a high power telling him to move. So thatâs actually the gift that came from all this.
[40:12] When you left treatment, what was your plan?
Will said he jumped into AA. He was open to anything recovery related.
[43:55] Whatâs your favorite NA drink?
Will said heâs a club soda guy. Nothing fancy.
[44:27] Have you ever gotten push back from people?
Will said no one has given him pushback on his desire to lead a life without alcohol. But also, thatâs a little telling to the condition he was in, everyone could see he needed help.
[45:47] Rapid Fire Round
Youâre 100% worth it and you are a lot stronger than you could ever imagine.
Grateful to have the tools that he has and to see where this takes us and the ability to give back.
Salted caramel anything.
Café RE, podcasts, self-help books, an in-person community
Life on the other side is beautiful. Thereâs a life to be had out there.
You may have to say adios to booze...
If youâre curing your hangovers with more alcohol, thatâs something thatâs hard to come back from.
Odetteâs challenge this week:
Take some time to access the challenges you are dealing with right now. Make a list of things you think youâve been doing to navigate the situation. Donât judge yourself, just write them down, edit as you see fit. If there are things on that list you donât like, make a plan to change it.
Affiliate Link for Endourage:
For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.
Affiliate Link for Amazon:
Shop via Amazon using this link.
Upcoming events, retreats and courses:
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources:
Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to -info@recoveryelevator.com
âRecovery Elevator â âI believe in you, grab your life vest and letâs do this â I love you guysâ
Kevin took his last drink April 11, 2020. With just over 3 months away from alcohol (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF).
Odetteâs weekly installment of: Finding the Better YouâŠ..
Receiving feedback and how to do better. After a negative comment / feedback from a listener, Odette took the comments and the feedback and is seeing this as an opportunity to do better. It seems these days that âdo betterâ is being used more and explored. This was the universe reminding her that she is worthy, the listener is worthy, and everyone is worthy. She has gratitude and love for the listener because they allowed to her see something from a different perspective. If you have feedback, please send an email to Odette.
[7:23] Odette introduces Kevin.
Kevin is 59 and originally from Philadelphia, he has lives in Florida for the past 20 years. Heâs a printer and works for the schoolboard. Heâs married and loves cooking, traveling and doing charcoal portraits.
[9:13] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking?
Kevin said that when he was 7, he became the drink maker at his grandparentsâ card games. He would have some whiskey and ginger ale himself. In 4th grade he was bullied, so he would go home at lunch to eat but also to do a few shots of liquor so he could deal with that. In high school he fell in with a crowd that drank and also sold drugs. He continued in that pattern until he met his now wife at the age of 33. He quit the drugs, but his drinking continued to escalate. In 2017 he spent 3 days in a psych ward, leaving there he sent to AA and a counselor, but it never really took, and he relapsed.
[12:26] Did anybody notice that all this was happening when you were so young?
Kevin said that he was a latch key kid, so his use of alcohol wasnât noticed. And when he was in high school, he was always out of the house and with friends, so again, it wasnât noticed. However, he says that while in high school he knew he had a bad alcohol problem on his hands.
[14:22] Did you ever reach out to somebody in those early days or was alcohol normalized in your family?
Kevin said his grandfather owned a bar and his parents had an active social life and he was a bartender at different points, so alcohol was always a part of his life.
[15:03] How did alcohol cause conflict in your marriage(s)?
Kevin said in his first marriage they were both very immature and it wasnât ever going to last. With his second wife, he emulated her and wanted her to be proud of him. It never worked out however and he felt he was always disappointing her.
[16:40] What happened that made you want to reach out and get help?
Kevin said there were a lot of moments. Between injuries, unhealthy arguments and car accidents there were lots of red flags. He always thought he had it under control. He doesnât have an off switch.
[18:55] What happened in April of this year?
Kevin said this time he wanted to get sober and committed to AA, he didnât have another second chance in him. He was tired of playing the alcohol game, wondering where he would get more and having alcohol control his life.
[20:49] What do you do when you get a craving?
Kevin said he changes his environment right away. He gets out of where he is and tries to get a new headspace. In about 30 minutes time the craving is gone. He doesnât call them alcohol cravings, but more the idea of alcohol gets in his brain.
Kevin uses the Merriam Webster app and it gives him a âword of the dayâ. He takes that word and tries to apply it to his sobriety throughout the day. This gives him a fresh perspective to sobriety over and over.
[23:00] Tell me about your family dynamics?
Kevin said for 24 years he was a tornado leaving a path of devastation through his marriage. They are trying to figure things out and he wants his wife to be happy and have a good life.
[26:02] What is your favorite thing about the AA program?
Kevin said the communication and connection with other people in recovery.
[28:20] Are there any other resources that have been helping you in this journey?
Kevin said he always has something going on to fill his time. Between podcasts and reading or going to meetings.
[28:58] Whatâs your favorite NA drink?
Iced coffee, with coffee ice cubes.
[29:36] Did you notice a change in your sugar intake?
Kevin said he never had a sweet tooth until he stopped drinking. But now he adds honey to his oats! Heâs trying to scale back his sugar intake.
[30:52] Whatâs your go-to response when someone offers you a drink?
Kevin said he tells people âIâm an alcohol and Iâm living it soberâ. He has no reservations about telling people.
[31:30] Do you notice any pushback from people who you tell?
Kevin said the friends he has in Florida are accepting and have been nothing but positive.
[33:07] What are you excited about right now?
Kevin is excited about the future. He wants to get involved with helping other people in recovery.
[34:47] Has your sleep improved?
Kevin said he wasnât a great sleeper throughout most of his life, so while that pattern remains, heâs no longer sluggish and his body doesnât hurt. He feels rested.
[31:30] Do you have to do virtual meetings during the pandemic?
Kevin said his room has been open throughout the pandemic and he is a little unsure if he would have had success doing virtual meetings. He needs the in-person/human connections.
[39:28] Have you been able to identify triggers?
Kevin said he drank for so long that heâs unsure if he actually has triggers. He drank simply because it was part of his life.
[41:13] Rapid Fire Round
Realizing he could go through the day without alcohol.
Love and value yourself. You matter. You have something to offer.
Coffee with chocolate covered espresso beans on top.
Itâs important to stay focused and keep your sobriety in front of you. Stay focused on your interests and keep your mind active. Stress is a killer.
You may have to say adios to booze...
If you come back to your table from an open bar with 4 drinks and 2 shots in your hand and ask if anyone wants anything themselves.
Odetteâs challenge this week:
Try to build a practice around your negative self-talk. Swap out the negative with a kinder message for yourself. Give yourself the love you need.
Affiliate Link for Endourage:
For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.
Affiliate Link for Amazon:
Shop via Amazon using this link.
Upcoming events, retreats and courses:
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources:
Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to -info@recoveryelevator.com
âRecovery Elevator â âBe the light and shine bright, you have the power to make a difference â I love you guysâ
Taylor took his last drink June 7, 2019. With just over 13 months away from alcohol (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF).
Odetteâs weekly installment of: Finding the Better YouâŠ..
WAIT WAIT! Itâs Paulâs 6 year Sober-versary! So instead we bring you Paulâs 6 big insights since his handing off the podcast to Odette.
Bonus insight:
[19:08] Paul introduces Taylor.
Taylor is 30 years old and lives in Thornton, Colorado with his two dogs, Harley and Rooster. While heâs lived in many places over the years, he grew up in Sacramento, California and now is in Colorado. He loves walking his dogs, record and write music, rock climbing, mountain biking, photography, hiking, skiing, snowboarding, wakeboarding, video editing and D&D. He likes to try all the hobbies now.
[23:54] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking?
Taylor said he started exploring alcohol around age 14. He wanted to see what alcohol was all about. He didnât really touch alcohol again until he was about 16, mostly in High School he smoked weed. However, alcohol did allow him to fit in. His father and stepmother caught him smoking weed in college and made the decision to send him to live with his mother. This started his âvictimsâ storyâ because he wasnât allowed to smoke weed anymore, so he was âforced to drink alcoholâ. He saw his career grow however by quitting smoking weed, but there was alcohol ever present.
At 26 he found himself trying to moderate alcohol. Just before he deployed to Afghanistan, he thought to stop drinking a few days before, and he found himself in withdrawals. After not drinking while overseas, he ordered a drink on the plane home. Being home he was again trying to moderate.
[33:53] Tell me about going back to drinking after returning from Afghanistan?
Taylor said that he understood that he had seen the âother side of lifeâ and you can never really go back. Alcohol just isnât the same and he knew he was doomed. After his girlfriend left, was his rock bottom moment.
[42:19] Walk me through those first 30 days?
Taylor said he fully dove into recovery: âI sober like I drankâ. When his father left, he kept going to therapy and AA. His pink cloud lasted 3 months and the energies to stay sober were stronger than his desire to drink. He found a lot of humility and got a sponsor and started working the steps.
[47:09] Can you share with listeners the difference between your 29th and your 30th birthdays?
Taylor said on his 29th birthday was in his first 30 days of sobriety. He sat at home and he didnât have anything to do or anyone to hang out with. He called a newfound AA friend and he came over and they watched TV together. His 30th birthday he had 20 people show up to his birthday, from all parts of his life. He was humbled in that moment of the work that he had done to be the authentic Taylor.
[50:44] Do you still get cravings?
Taylor said yes. His alter drinking ego is named Gregory and heâs no longer the enemy of Taylor. Gregory still tries to get him to drinking, but he can have the conversation with Gregory about why they arenât going to drink. Taylor treats Gregory like a sick child, with care and compassion. Cravings are now fleeting thoughts.
[57:47] Rapid Fire Round
Peanut butter and banana with candied bacon milkshake
Slow down, be gentle, be kind.
People, AA, The Calm App, Nature, Café RE, a picture of a dog.
Books:
Wherever You Go, There You Are by Jon Kabat-Zinn
The Tao of Pooh & The Te of Piglet by Benjamin Hoff
To be kind to yourself today and do the next kind thing.
You may have to say adios to booze...
If you have driven to another state to buy more alcohol because the stores in your state are closed.
Odetteâs final thoughts this week:
Congratulations Paul. You are loved, supported and you are worth it.
Affiliate Link for Endourage:
For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.
Affiliate Link for Amazon:
Shop via Amazon using this link.
Upcoming events, retreats and courses:
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources:
Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to -info@recoveryelevator.com
âRecovery Elevator â âWe took the elevator down, we have to take the stairs back up, we can do this â I love you guysâ
Early took their last drink November 16, 2019. With almost 8 months (at the time of recording) this is their story of living alcohol free (AF).
Odetteâs weekly installment of: Finding the Better You.
Co-occurring disorders or dual diagnosis describes a person who has more than one medical issue either with two diseases simultaneously or one disease successively after the other. These may be mental or physical.
Odette reminds us that we are not alone.
[5:23] Odette introduces Early.
Early is 32 years old and living off the grid on the Ozark Plateau. They have 3 dogs who are their very best friends. For work they go back and forth between migrant farm work and restaurant service industry. For fun they like to learn about the area surrounding them, the plants and animals. Also chopping wood and the other living in the woods chores.
Living off the grid means that Early is not connected to the electrical power grid & any city water or sewage. They have solar power and collect rain water or spring water. They have a composting outhouse. Early says they are connected to the earth in a way that feels more ethical to them.
[8:33] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking?
Early said that their whole life has been characterized by very intense addiction. The first drink they had was a stolen Miller High Life at the age of 10. The first blackout came at 14, drinking in the mornings and vomiting in their sleep came at 16. They were drawn to alcohol due to being socially awkward and having few friends. Being a deviant led them into a world of acceptance. As an adult, along with therapy and their diagnosis as being on the spectrum, these factors make sense now.
By 18 Early was drinking daily and thatâs the first time they wanted to stop drinking. Willpower didnât work and AA wasnât the avenue they wanted to take. Between the ages of 18 and 31 they tried many times to quit.
[11:44] When did you receive your diagnosis?
Early said at 29 there was an incident in which they sexually assaulted their best friend. It never would have happened if they had not been under the influence of alcohol. After that they checked themself into a mental hospital for help. There they were diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Earlyâs therapist post that also diagnosed them with Autisms Spectrum disorder and PTSD from childhood sexual abuse.
[13:43] What went through your mind after all these diagnoses?
Early said leaving the mental hospital they were detoxed from alcohol and also on new anti-psychotic medicine for brand new diagnoses. They werenât given any tools on how to handle not drinking and their only coping ability from the past 20 years, so to cope, they drank.
[16:20] What happened after you left the hospital?
Early said that they knew they needed to remove alcohol but had no tools. They would white knuckle it for a few days and then drink. Over time they began to find different tools that worked for them. They incorporated yoga, drinking more water, changing their diet, getting regular sleep (basic needs as Early says!). However, the feeling of shame and the belief that they are a bad person remained. Early began drinking in secret and isolating themselves in-between moments of white knuckling sobriety.
[20:12] You seem to have such grit. Where did this come from and how did you find the determination to keep trying?
Early said their last night of drinking was an average night of drinking. The change began a year ago when their father passed away suddenly. They saw life from outside their own for the first time. That winter they declared that they would do anything to get sober. They kept trying and using all the tools they had learned over the years of trying to quit. They stopped feeling sorry for themselves and that helped to cut the shame. Early learned they were worthy of love and happiness. They describe themselves as a hard headed stubborn determined person and that might be the grit that is seen.
[27:51] How is it balancing and navigating symptoms from these disorders?
Early said that preventative maintenance for everything has dulled down many of the symptoms day to day. Every day they make sure they are getting proper nutrition, getting enough sleep, drinking enough water and feeding their soul. Taking care of the body and mind at a baselevel is paramount.
[29:58] Tell me about the people surrounding you?
Early said they understands they hurt a lot of people and people who left did so for a reason. And now the longer they are sober and people see them out doing the work, people are slowly returning into their life.
[34:06] Can you tell me about your routine?
Early said that they have a morning routine. Every day they try to wake up at the same time, drink water, walk their dogs, eat, take herbs, do meditation, work on a project that makes them proud (currently building their own house). In the evenings, eat dinner, listen to a podcast, do some meditation and go to sleep at the same time.
[35:37] Tell me more about building your own house.
Early said when they first moved to this property there was a dilapidated shack there and they lived there for about 4 years. Upon getting sober, they demolished the house and started to build their own with their neighbors.
[35:57] Rapid Fire Round
Stick with it, youâre worth it and things will change for the better.
Neuroplasticity
Chocolate chip cookie dough
Donât compare yourself to others story. Youâre worth getting ahold of your drinking and your mental health. Do the work.
You may have to say adios to booze...
if you have woken up covered in blue vomitâŠ. Twice.
Odetteâs final thoughts this week:
âLife will give you whatever experience is most helpful for the evolution of your consciousness. How do you know this is the experience you need? Because this is the experience you are having at the moment.â â Eckhart Tolle
Affiliate Link for Endourage:
For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.
Affiliate Link for Amazon:
Shop via Amazon using this link.
Upcoming events, retreats and courses:
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources:
Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to -info@recoveryelevator.com
âRecovery Elevator â âAcknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.â-Eckhart Tolle- I love you guysâ
Anika is the founder of GrĂŒvi and a member of the sober curious community. This is her story of being an entrepreneur and helping to provide NA beverages to those who want them.
Odetteâs weekly installment of: Finding the Better You.
You are in charge of setting and honoring your own boundaries. Everyone has different triggers, for example if NA beers and beverages are triggering to you, then you donât have to explore that avenue. You know how to best protect your journey. Stay open and stay curious and protect your energy.
[4:53] Odette introduces Anika.
Anika is sober curious so sheâs not very strict on keeping track of dates. But her last drink was right around the beginning of Covid. She is 24 years old and lives in Canada. She enjoys being outdoors, yoga, hiking and traveling.
[6:56] Walk me through your sober curious journey.
Anika said her sober curious nature came out during her last year at University. She was a social drinker, but in her last year she found herself saying âI donât want to have to go out with friends tonight, because then I will have to drink and then I will be hung over.â She experienced all the benefits of a life away from alcohol: better sleep, having more clarity and being more productive.
[9:38] Did something spark your thought process to become aware of a life away from alcohol at such a young age?
Anika said at first, she was like everyone else with regards to drinking and felt it was a stage in life. But when she created the GrĂŒvi brand was when she really started to see how life can continue on without alcohol and with an alternate beverage. She was able to have a social life without having to have the social lubricant.
[11:15] How did GrĂŒvi start?
GrĂŒvi launched a year ago in Denver and itâs a family business. They have been a health focused family, led by their father. Finding that the NA category was lacking in options pushed them to create GrĂŒvi.
[12:34] Where did the name come from?
Anika said GrĂŒvi is taking the word âgroovyâ and making it fun and new. You can be fun and silly and youthful even without alcohol.
[14:59] Tell me about the specifics of GrĂŒvi?
Currently, there are 4 craft beers and 1 prosecco. The beers are brewed through a process of arrested fermentation, which stops the brewing before any alcohol is introduced. However, because this does go through a fermentation process, there are trace amounts of alcohol (similar to kombuca). The prosecco is 0.0% ABV.
They are expanding too! Anika says that hopefully they will be offering a bubbly Rose by the end of summer 2020.
[20:58] Are most people open to the dialogue (about this NA movement)?
Anika said that after living in Denver for over a year after University and returning to Canada and the friend group there, she was a little nervous. Through this she has realized that her friends support her no matter what. And she told them she is happy with her decision to not be drinking so they should be too.
[23:10] Whatâs it like working with your family?
Anika said so far, itâs been great! They are living together again as a family and itâs been smooth. Sheâs enjoying the opportunity to grow closer to her family through this.
[33:30] What are you excited about right now?
Anika said every day is new and exciting. GrĂŒvi is at that step where they are expanding and growing. This includes new states and being able to be local and accessible to more people. They are expanding their ambassador program and Anika is spearheading this. She loves getting to talk to the community and grow the movement together.
[36:50] Rapid Fire Round
Being her own bartender and making mocktails or a matcha latte.
Going out dancing with her friends and enjoying the music.
Books:
The Sober Curious & This Naked Mind
Instagram accounts:
Take the first jump, the first decision is always the hardest. You have nothing to lose.
Odetteâs challenge this week:
Give a new tool a try. Maybe you go to an AA meeting for the first time, maybe you join CafĂ© Re, maybe you ask a friend to be your accountability partner, maybe you try a new Kombucha flavor or you try a new meditation. If we donât try new things we will never know if it will help us in this journey.
Email Odette here and tell her what you tried.
GrĂŒvi discount detail:
For 15% off your order with GrĂŒvi visit their website and use the promo code recovery elevator at checkout.
Affiliate Link for Endourage:
For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.
Upcoming events, retreats and courses:
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources:
Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to -info@recoveryelevator.com
âRecovery Elevator â Letâs be respectful of others, lets focus on similarities and not differences, letâs make space for those who are different than us instead of automatically canceling them out- I love each and every one of you guysâ
Alan took his last drink December 23, 2019. With almost 6 months (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF).
Announcing Recovery Elevatorâs first ever REgionals! Join us for our online zoom conference this October 23-24th. This event is for CafĂ© RE Members only. Not a member yet?! Sign up here and use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Odetteâs weekly installment of: Finding the Better You.
The New York Times article âShould We Be Drinking Less?â is from July 10th, 2020. Itâs the stark contrast to articles which tout having 1-2 glasses of wine has healthy benefits or how rose will help you through motherhood. The idea that moderate drinking is acceptable actually keeps people drinking because itâs seen as ok in the eyes of society.
There is a shift that is happening and people are questioning the narrative of whatâs acceptable when drinking.
[7:47] Odette introduces Alan.
Alan lives outside Atlanta and is 49 years old. His last drink was the day before Christmas Eve 2019. He drank everything and was blackout drunk that night. His 15 year old daughter had been at a friendâs house and came home to find her father passed out in a chair with a spilled glass of wine. The next morning knowing his daughter had seen that changed the course of his life. He didnât want to live that way any longer.
Alanâs daughter mentioned above is actually one of triplets. He has three 15 year old children and has been married to his wife for almost 18 years. Heâs in software sales and is trying to figure out what he likes to do for fun now that heâs sober. He enjoys health and fitness and has a Peloton.
[18:37] Walk me through your drinking career.
Alan said that he began drinking in high school and it started out normal, transitioned into college and that drinking atmosphere. College for him was one big party. He continued the pace of college drinking afterwards. He worked for a year in Aspen and drank 7 days a week. He returned to Atlanta, while his drinking slowed, he was always concerned about where the next drink was coming from and this is when his drinking became abnormal. Alan believes he was covering up fear with his drinking. Fear of fitting in, fear of getting a good job, fear of making enough money, fear of meeting the right girl, fear of getting a big title. The fear was gone when he drank.
[27:15] Tell me about joining Café RE and how was that first month?
Alan said CafĂ© RE was the springboard to connection. He didnât realize the connection was so powerful with other people looking to live the same life. After feeling like he had been driving in foggy conditions for 10 years, the fog cleared and he was able to see finally.
[33:36] What works for you when you have a craving?
Alan said he has learned a ton of tools in CafĂ© RE. The biggest one is from Paulâs book, Alcohol is SH!T, which says to âplay the tape forwardâ. While he can romanticize the drink on his porch, Alan can also now see where that one drink will lead. Heâs seen the movie, he knows the ending and itâs not good!
[36:11] How has your family dynamic changed?
Alan said about 3 months in his wife looked at him and told him he was like a new person. He is present now. While heâs always been a father who was physically there, he always existed in the fog. He told his daughter that he was getting help for his drinking and thatâs a huge accountability step for him, one he can never go back on.
[41:00] What have you discovered about yourself?
Alan said heâs learned he can juggle a lot of things in life. He has the ability to handle what life throws at him.
[42:51] If you could talk to day 1 Alan, what would you say?
Connect with likeminded individuals as soon as possible. Do not attempt to do this alone.
[43:20] Had you tried to stop drinking previously?
Alan said he probably tried about 4 times seriously. But never had connection, resources, understanding or community. He always went at it alone and would call himself a Dry Drunk.
[44:52] Rapid Fire Round
Bubly, 1 can of Monster Energy drink
Myth: You canât have fun without drinking.
Truth: You can have SO much fun without drinking (and the next day!)
Yes, but the journey is never ending.
If you are thinking about this path, I promise you life is better without the booze. The fog will lift!
You may have to say adios to alcohol...
if youâre at the airport bar and the gate is right across from you, but you intentionally miss your flight so you can keep drinking.
Odetteâs challenge this week:
Share the NY Times article with someone you know. Plant the seed of living a life away from alcohol.
Affiliate Link for Endourage:
For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.
Upcoming events, retreats and courses:
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources:
Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to -info@recoveryelevator.com
âRecovery Elevator â How about we just stick to La Croix, sound good?- I love you guysâ
Jim took his last drink April 7, 2020. With just over 70 days (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF).
Today Odette opens talking about finding the better you and her own take away from Holly Whitakerâs Quit Like A Woman. She focuses on what Holly says about when a craving strikes. Learn to relax into the craving rather than distract.
RASINS
Recognize
Allow
Set aside the story
Investigate what is happening in your body
Name the sensations
Surf
Letâs set the scene: You have finished your 100th zoom call of the day and you are ready to relax for the night. You want to pour a glass of wine. Here is how to implement RASINS.
Admit the craving, allow the craving to build, set aside the negative thoughts telling you that you suck. Maybe try a meditation practice. Focus on how your body is feeling. Is your heart racing, are your palms sweating? Ride the wave of emotion, this is manageable.
[7:12] Odette introduces Jim.
Jim is 71 years old and he lives on the Eastern Shore of Maryland. He is about to retire fully from his career in public education. Heâs been married for 47 years and has 3 children and 4 grandkids. He enjoys hiking, reading, swimming and volunteering at church and in schools. He has recently picked up golf too!
[11:33] Can you give listeners a history on your drinking?
Jim said he began drinking in high school and also drank in college. He joined a fraternity and soon after stopped going to call and flunked out. His father told him he was not welcome at home, so Jim joined the Merchant Marines after that. He said that although drinking was prohibited on the boats, that was far from the reality. After a winter in the Merchant Marines he was drafted into the Vietnam War, however his college agreed to re-admit him. Once back in college he was right back where he started. He did meet his âbeautiful brideâ while in school and she got him going back to class and he did graduate. His chosen career was something that he felt was more important that his drinking. So, he didnât drink before work, but after work, all bets were off. Once he began to approach retirement, he had more time on his hands and the habits of college drinking returned.
[15:14] Do you remember your emotional state when your father told you that you werenât allowed back home?
Jim said at the time he was very resentful and thought his father was not loving and caring. He felt his father was putting his own reputation and career over Jimâs circumstances. Looking back on it, Jim can say he knows that his father made a great decision.
[22:15] Did you notice your relationships changing/eroding?
Jim said his own ability to be a pleasant person when he was drinking was almost non-existent. He had a lot of irritability over very little things.
[25:38] Do you still have cravings?
Jim said he still has cravings. He uses HALT (hungry, angry, lonely, tired) when a craving strikes. He then reflects on the thought and feeling and reminds himself this will happen and to ânot let it shake your treeâ because this will pass.
[27:29] How did you find Recovery Elevator/ resources for this journey?
Jim said was listening to NPR shows and thought that there must be something recovery specific out there. He found Recovery Elevator from a google search and made it a part of his every day.
[28:50] Did you notice you had to change certain aspects of your entire routine?
Jim said that he wakes up every morning and looks at a stack of notecards he has created. He reminds himself every day his reasons why heâs stopped drinking. He focuses on reading and reddit subs and meditation.
[33:46] Do you find nighttime to be a more challenging time of the day?
Jim said he doesnât struggle at night. He also had notecards on his bedside table. He tries to end every day thinking about what heâs grateful for and on a positive note.
[34:44] Have you notice changes in your sleep patterns?
Jim said yes. His dreams are clear and amazing. He sleeps more soundly.
[37:23] What have you learned about yourself that has really surprised you?
Jim said he used to have a lot of self-doubt if he could do this. Heâs learned we can all do this.
[39:00] What are you excited about right now?
Jim said he feels like a new person in life and so the possibilities are opening up. Heâs no longer shackled by alcohol. His schedule is open.
[40:54] Rapid Fire Round
Flavored water.
If youâre old thereâs no sense in trying to stop drinking. (not true!)
Jim as you walk through day 1, walk through that door, itâs going to be awesome. You will not regret one second of this.
I could have done this sooner, just let it go. Thereâs a family out there ready to help you. You can do this.
You may have to say adios to alcohol...
Adios, good riddance and see you later alligator!
Odetteâs challenge this week:
Write down the meaning of RASINS and put it into practice this week.
Affiliate Link for Endourage:
For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.
Upcoming events, retreats and courses:
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources:
Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to -info@recoveryelevator.com
âRecovery Elevator â It all starts from the inside out- I love you guysâ
John took his last drink on August 31, 2019. With about 10 months (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol-free (AF).
Today Odette opens quoting from Pema Chödrönâs âWhen Things Fall Apartâ.
âImpermanence is the goodness of reality. Just as the four seasons are in continual flux, winter changing from spring to summer to autumn; just as day becomes night, light becoming dark becoming light again-- in the same way, everything is constantly evolving.â
Everything that ends is also the beginning of something else. What happens when we see this chaos as harmony and change right now is the new normal. It takes time to get comfortable with change and this stage of life is a season. Letâs sit with it and see where we can go.
[6:53] Odette introduces John.
John is 38 years old and originally from Fayetteville, North Carolina. John is also married to Odette and they have 2 children together. They live in San Diego, CA. For fun John likes to surf, bike, run, or play golf⊠he just likes being active.
[11:19] Can you give listeners a history on your drinking?
John said growing up drinking was part of the culture of where he lived. He started drinking in high school on weekends and continued in college. His drinking changed when it became a post-work habit. He said he modeled his drinking after his parents: put your head down, do you work, have a drink after work. From the age of 25 - 38 he was drinking as a reward at the end of a day. However, he noticed that he was using alcohol to numb out other things in his life.
[14:00] Was there a moment when you noticed that alcohol was no longer working?
John said in his 30s was when he began to question if he had a problem with drinking. As his family grew, he saw a line in the sand. On one side of the line was keeping drinking and on the other side was his marriage and family.
Odette and John discuss their marriage and how each of their paths to recovery has followed along both together and separately at different times. They discuss the work they have done on themselves and as a couple.
[25:26] From an inside look what are some of the biggest differences?
John said a lot of his initial quitting drinking was about trying to prove a point, prove to himself and others that he didnât have a problem with alcohol. Within a month it changed and began to leave alcohol behind for himself. He noticed improvements in almost all aspects of his life.
[28:51] Can you tell us about how fatherhood has been different?
John said when he was drinking, he would show up to parenthood not ready to parent. He was physically there but not there mentally or emotionally. He is now trying to make amends to his children now by being as present as he can be. Every connecting moment with his children is a cherished moment.
[32:13] Tell us about a day in your life right now, what tools are you using?
John said heâs a little bit of a lone wolf. He relies a lot on Odette as an emotional outlet. He does not struggle with cravings during the day, but at night when heâs âdone for the dayâ is when he has to dig a little deeper. He focuses on spending time with his family. John drinking a lot of soda water and kombucha and NA beer.
[34:55] Whatâs your favorite NA beer brand?
He has an order coming from Athletic Brewing and is looking forward to trying it.
Two Roots, Straight Dank IPA- itâs a very hop-forward IPA.
[36:06] How has it been reintroducing yourself into social situations?
John said that the first few months were hard. There was a lot of pretending. Once he had the mind shift and was leaving alcohol behind for himself, it was a lot easier. There is a confidence that came with his decision.
[39:16] Have you received any pushback?
John said that his true friends are supportive. Thereâs the occasional random person who isnât in the know that questions him, but not from a negative place.
[41:53] What possibilities in life are you excited about?
John said heâs just really excited to keep on this path and see where it takes him. Heâs looking forward to his kids starting school, the next steps in his career, the fun trips they have planned as a family and with his wife. Thereâs a positive future ahead.
[43:59] Rapid Fire Round
Surf trip sober over Christmas 2019.
Armchair Expert podcast (Dax Shepard)
Itâs going to be a lot easier than you think it is. Trust the decision. Strap in and lean in. Trust your wife.
Just do it, hop in. Do it for 3 months and see what happens.
You may need to ditch the booze if...
You go on a camping trip with your wife and the last thing you remember is having a great time at dinner and then you wake up in a tent alone, with none of your family there.
Odetteâs challenge this week:
What are you trying to hold on to right now? What do you think would happen if that changed? Are you not allowing yourself to enjoy it now that you have it out of fear that it will be gone? Everything that you have in your life right now is a gift if you choose to see it that way. So just think about that prompt.
Affiliate Link for Endourage:
For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.
Upcoming events, retreats and courses:
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources:
Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to -info@recoveryelevator.com
âRecovery Elevator â Every single thing that you are looking for is already inside of you- I love you guysâ
Andrew took his last drink June 02, 2020. With 9 days (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF).
Finding the better you with Odette. Todayâs topic: Setting boundaries.
According to https://positivepsychology.com/ Healthy boundaries are those set to make sure that you are mentally and emotionally stable. You can also think about it as our boundaries might be ridged, loose or completely non-existent. The lack of boundaries may indicate that we do not have a strong identity or that we are intermeshed with someone else or something else: insert alcohol. Odette lobbies for protecting your energy, which is a version of creating boundaries. Set and honor your boundaries. When you set new boundaries and start living them it might feel uncomfortable, and thatâs normal. It gets easier and better when you stand up for yourself and share your boundaries with others. Check in with yourself often.
[8:25] Odette introduces Andrew.
Andrew is 37 years old and lives in Brisbane Australia. When Andrew and Odette first began talking about scheduling this interview, Andrew had more than 35 days AF. He did some field research and is now back with 9 days AF.
He drives trucks for a living, is married and has 3 boys under the age of 7. For fun he likes to ride his trail bike.
[14:19] Can you give listeners a history on your drinking?
Andrewâs first drink was at age 13. Instantly he fell in love with alcohol. He liked the person he became when he drank. When he was 15 he worked in construction with older guys and that gave him access to alcohol. As an adult the drinking increased and increased, but he never thought it was a problem until his late 20s. Andrew has known over the past 10 years that he didnât drink normally. He drank more than people and alcohol became an identity. His first son was born when he was 30 and he tried to grow up. Andrew noticed he couldnât stop drinking.
Andrew said his relationship changed from having fun as a couple to serious and his wife mentioning that it needs to be different. They couldnât go to the shops without his kids mentioning âoh we need to go to the bottle shop for dadâ.
[21:34] Did you hit a bottom or what made you decide to pursue an AF life?
Andrew said all the relationships in his life began to fail. He never blamed the alcohol but blamed the other person. A few years ago having a surgery that required him to stop drinking 2 weeks prior and his wife laughed at that suggestion. He wasnât able to stop and drank up to surgery and thatâs when he realized it was a problem.
[22:40] Did you seek help when you decided to try and stop drinking?
Andrew said he simply decided he wasnât going to drink. He did reach out to a doctor who prescribed some pills that didnât have any effect. His drinking continued on and off over the next few years. He often found himself googling if he was an alcoholic or not. This led right into the current COVID pandemic. Andrew decided he wanted to find a better life for himself, his wife and his kids.
[24:00] Did you attempt moderating before quitting?
Yes, Andrew said he tried to moderate his drinking. Being a truck driver for a living, he always had to have 0.0% alcohol to drive. He tried to promise himself he would only drink on weekends, but instead worked out how many drinks he could have in the afternoons and still have 0.0% alcohol level for work the next morning.
[26:06] Can you expand on the 6 week dry camp associated with your work?
Andrew explained that it wasnât a company sponsored event. It was the work he was doing at the time and they lived on campus for a period of time. The campus he was on, was dry. He made it the 6 weeks, and on his way home he stopped for alcohol. He picked up exactly where he left off even through he was feeling proud for making it the 6 weeks.
[28:06] How had fatherhood changed?
Andrew said heâs more present now and is noticing how much his wife had been picking up in the area of childcare. He worries about different things now and he cares more about what is right and wrong.
[28:06] Tell us about a day in your life right now, what tools are you using?
Andrew said heâs still learning, this is a new journey for him. The traditional help isnât available right now, everything is only online. He has discovered podcasts and listens as much as he can. He hopes to join an in person AA group.
[34:23] Have you received any negative feedback around your decision?
Andrew hasnât received one negative comment from the people heâs told. Everyone is supportive, from family to friends to work colleagues.
[37:46] What possibilities are you excited for?
Andrew said in the long term he wants to have better and different relationships with his family. Heâs looking to purchase a home with the money heâs saving from not drinking.
[38:54] If you could talk to Day 1 Andrew, what would you tell him?
You will encounter slip ups, but donât beat yourself up. Itâs ok to not be perfect. Every day you donât drink is perfect. There are no wasted days.
[39:40] Rapid Fire Round
How different the world is sober. These a lot of good in small things.
Knowing that I have enough strength to actually do this.
Slurpees.
Just jump in and try. Build the muscle, keep working at it.
You may need to ditch the booze if...
You drink drive on the way home, but you actually ride a motorbike.
Odetteâs challenge this week:
Set a new boundaries and try it out!
Affiliate Link for Endourage:
For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout.
Upcoming events, retreats and courses:
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources:
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Sober Selfies!- Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to -info@recoveryelevator.com
âRecovery Elevator â When you say no to somebody else, you say yes to yourself. Remember to stay weird and protect your energy- Iâll see you next Monday.- I love you guysâ
Heidi took her last drink on May 20, 2020. With 19 days (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol-free (AF).
Odette opens today welcoming normal drinkers. It has come to her attention that there are some listeners that are tuning in for educational purposes as a loved one has a problem with alcohol. Question for you normal drinkers: would you be interested in a Café RE group focused on you? Email Odette if you're interested.
One of the most important books in Odetteâs life is The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie. It was referred to her when her father first went into rehab. Each day is a new passage to read and often she is overcome with the meaning and finds herself wanting to share the meditation for the day with others. While sheâs not going to read from this book today, Odette is sharing with you allâŠ.
Storytime with Odette!
What Do You Do With a Problem? By Kobi Yamada
[8:13] Odette introduces Heidi.
Heidi is 28 years old and originally from San Diego, but sheâs lived all over. Right now sheâs in Orange County, CA with her new husband. She works in career services with a focus on health and behavioral sciences. Sheâs an adjunct teacher and a CrossFit coach and group fitness leader. Heidi loves the outdoors and seeing live music, plays, and time with family and friends.
[14:05] Can you give listeners a background on your drinking?
Heidiâs first time really drinking was around the age of 16 / her junior year of high school. At the same time, she was a good student and took her studying and athletics very seriously. She only drank on weekends. In college she continued to be a good student and athlete while drinking, so she never felt that what she was doing should be questioned. At the end of her college career, she mentioned to a coach that she felt she might have a drinking problem. This coach dismissed her concerns because she âdoing fine.â
[19:20] When you expressed concerns to your coach and he was dismissive, did you doubt him a little?
Heidi said internally she knew that her drinking was a problem, but at the same time, he gave her a free pass to keep drinking.
[17:16] Walk us through the last year or so of your drinking and what led up to your sober date?
Heidi grew up with obsessive-compulsive tendencies, specifically manifesting in self-harm. When alcohol became an option, it quieted the self-harm aspect. Once Heidi moved back to the West Coast and started working full time, she fell into a routine of grabbing some alcohol on the way home from work. A few glasses of wine became a bottle of wine became a few bottles of wine, then turned to liquor. She started a new job and it turned out to be miserable, so drinking in the evenings was what got her through the days. She and her husband were true drinking partners, so they fed off each other as well.
Last summer she noticed relationships with family members and her husband began to crumble and then she began to take a serious look at her drinking.
One of the changes she made was signing up for the Recovery Elevator Ditch the Booze course. The accountability provided was what she needed.
[33:49] Tell us about your experience with the Ditching The Booze course and the extra level of accountability.
Heidi craves connection and doesnât find it overwhelming. Some people in her group check-in daily, some every few days, but the common denominator is everyone has the same struggle. So, everyone already understands. At a momentâs notice, she can give support and get support from the community.
[38:17] How has your family dynamic changed in these last 20 days?
Heidi said that due to the current pandemic there have been fewer social pressures to go out. At home, with her husband, there has been greater levels of connection. She did have a fear that all they had was drinking and that was why they were together. They began to open up and have new and genuine conversations about themselves. Sheâs having more moments of pure enjoyment with her husband.
[43:43] What possibilities have you excited right now?
Heidi said the increase in liveliness is exciting. She feels like a school kid again and full of hope. Being able to wake up early and coach at her gym without being still drunk or hungover. Being present with her husband and family member. Heidi is also seeing a new resurgence in her artistic side.
[42:20] Rapid Fire Round
You can do things that you donât think are possible right now but stick with it. You can sit with the uncomfortable feelings of a craving.
Café RE, This Naked Mind by Annie Grace, Alcohol is SH!T by Paul Churchill
You already know what that life is like, so why not just try.
You may need to ditch the booze if...
You pride yourself on your Christmas shopping by doing it all in one night with a few bottles of wine and then figure out what you bought when it arrives on your doorstep.
Odetteâs challenge this week:
Take time this week to notice what youâve been putting under the category of problems in your mind. Think about those problems and try to reframe. Can you see some opportunities coming out of them? Let yourself feel hopeful about the possibility that problems bring with them. They are there you just have to look at things differently. Remember that you are not alone and that together is always better.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources:
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Sober Selfies!- Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to -info@recoveryelevator.com
âRecovery Elevator â This isnât a no to alcohol, but a yes to a better life â I love you guys.â
Michael took his last drink on May 13, 2019. With just over a year sober (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol-free (AF).
Odette opens today asking the question: Is this working? There are obvious moments where it is easy to recognize that life without alcohol is working. When people say you look refreshed, you wake up not hungover and you start sleeping well. But what about the not so obvious moments? The moments that are hard, the moments you miss drinking? Yes, those are the moment when growth and change and abundance are there and about to bloom. Trust, be patient, and stay the course.
[7:23] Odette introduces Michael.
Michael lives in Springfield, Missouri, and works in construction. He is married with 2 children. For fun, he works, plays video games and spends as much time as possible with his family.
[8:24] Can you give listeners a background on your drinking?
Michael said he started drinking around the age of 14. He said it was something he was good at and within a year he was drinking a pint or more of liquor a day. He soon began drinking before school and after. In 2002 he joined the Marine Corps, which was his goal. In the military, he often couldnât drink for stretches of time, so it became binge drinking episodes. But at the end of his 4 years in the Marine Corps, he realized he had a problem with drinking and asked for help. He was enrolled in a daily program through the military to learn about drinking.
After getting out of the military he worked construction, but then in 2008 re-enlisted in the Army. The 6 years he was in the Army, the drinking continued at a bottle a day, every day. He considered himself a very high bottom drinker because he was so high functioning within life.
[15:19] What was it that led you down the path to try going AF?
Michael said that he tried to stop multiple times over the years. He began to realize he wasnât living his life to his best potential. He always tried to be the person setting the example for others, yet his inability to stop drinking was weighing on him. He needed to show that he could stop drinking for good. The idea that he couldnât quit was his bottom.
[17:16] Walk us through what went through your mind on your day 1.
Michael said he woke up and said to himself âI need to quit, again.â He searched for podcasts that day and found Recovery Elevator. Podcasts allowed him to saturate his entire day with recovery. He downloaded the Sober Grid app and started reading that and the resources offered.
[21:13] How has your life without alcohol been different than what you originally thought?
Michael said he had a lot of fear about what he would do and who he would be not drinking. Once he quit, he was no longer avoiding emotions and in a fog. He was freed to just live his life. Michael has learned itâs ok to be sad or angry and that he will make it through.
[25:24] How has your family dynamic changed since you have been on this path?
Michael said that heâs happy and no longer hiding from his family. Heâs a present and active member of his family and at a higher plateau of being a husband and a father. Heâs always working on trying to be a better husband and father while at the same time learning to be a husband and a father for the first time since this is the first time through sober eyes.
[27:44] Walk us through a day in your life right now.
Michael said he wakes up, goes to work, and hangs out with his family. He prides himself on being an open person; heâs open about his sobriety, his PTSD, and his anxiety. He tries to lead by example and with being so open, he allows space for others to be open about their own struggles.
[30:22] What is your social life like now?
Michael said from the beginning he was honest about his not drinking with friends and co-workers. They were respectful and always offered not to drink around him, but he was always ok about around other people drinking. He said that he understood this was his choice and his alone. There were a few times he did walk away in the beginning, but now heâs comfortable around alcohol.
[31:55] What have you learned in this AF journey?
Michael said that he is really motivated and setting goals and accomplishing them. This past year has really reinforced this. Heâs also rediscovering who he is as a person, not just an alcoholic.
One particular goal of Michaelâs is to run a marathon.
[36:25] What possibilities are keeping you hopeful?
Michael said rediscovering daily life. He focuses on the little things in life and is finding joy in those things. Heâs excited about mowing the lawn now!
[37:35] Do you still get cravings?
Michael said he doesnât get cravings so much as he gets the idea of drinking still. Cravings are for the most part a non-thought.
[38:31] If you could talk to Day 1 Michael, what would you tell him?
Keep trying. Even if you donât succeed today you can try again tomorrow.
[38:59] Rapid Fire Round
Being with my family after my father in law passed and really connecting with them.
That I am able to stop drinking.
Any recovery podcast, any app that helps you track your sobriety and music.
Just keep trying, we will figure this out. You will never succeed if you donât keep trying.
You may need to ditch the booze if...
Youâve ever considered putting on a resume that you are a daily drinker but have never been late to work.
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources:
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Sober Selfies!- Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to -info@recoveryelevator.com
âRecovery Elevator â keep going, trust the process and try not to throw up when the road gets bumpy, we can do this - I love you guys,â
Sara took her last drink on December 02, 2018. With 18 months sober (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol-free (AF).
Odette opens today talking about re-writing memos. Take a look at the memos you write to yourself every day. Those memos we repeat to ourselves as fact. There are thousands of stories we have written as memos in our lives. Odette encourages us to take out a sharpie and re-write the memo. Change your mind, change your opinion.
[6:24] Odette introduces Sara.
Sara lives just outside Minneapolis, MN. She is 37 years old, married, and has one daughter. They just adopted a puppy. She works in communications and for fun she likes to go for hikes and walks with friends, hang out with her daughter and eat her husbandâs food (heâs a great cook!).
[12:58] Can you give listeners a background on your drinking?
Sara said she didnât drink in High School. She went to a party school for college and started to binge drink on weekends. When she first started drinking, she liked the permission that alcohol gave her to be extroverted. Towards the end of her 20s the binge drinking tapered off, but that was when she began daily drinking, first a couple of glasses of wine on the weekend, soon became 7 days a week. While she quit when pregnant with her daughter, she did feel deprived. And once her daughter was born the daily drinking quickly resumed. The anxiety resumed in full force and because Sara didnât feel like she had a problem with a capital P, this was all normal.
December 2, 2018, Sara found a book by Annie Grace and went from never considering quitting, to leaving alcohol behind all in the same day.
[20:16] How was it early in your journey?
Sara said at first she cried once the decision was made. She allowed herself to grieve the loss while at the same time being excited. The first 1-3 days she practiced going into social situations, being right before the holidays she had lots of opportunities to practice. Sara always had a treat for herself to keep the feelings of deprivation at bay.
[30:43] How was the dynamic with your husband? Did you burn the ships immediately?
Sara said she told her husband right away. She thinks he didnât believe her at first, she wouldnât have believed herself at first either! However, he was supportive of her decision. Sara experienced some guilt when she stopped drinking because she felt like she was taking away something from him that was an activity they enjoyed together. They had to work to find new things to connect over.
[35:04] Whatâs in your recovery toolbelt these days?
Social connection is the #1 action item in her toolbelt. Sara said that she walks with her friends, she needs face to face meetups. Sobriety podcasts are 2nd. They keep her motivation up. And 3rd is âNo treat is off-limits.â Sara knows that she has to protect her sobriety at all costs. She also uses meditation to monitor and identify uncomfortable feelings inside.
[40:37] If you could talk to Day 1 Sara, what would you say to her?
This is going to teach you more about yourself than you ever thought you could learn. It will be worth the challenges.
[40:00] Rapid Fire Round
The awkwardness you feel at the beginning of any social gathering will be gone in 15 minutes whether or not you drink.
Remembering Christmas Eve and making memories with their friends and the kids.
The upcoming summer in Minnesota. Casual family time.
Donât cut out alcohol without adding in other things youâre excited about.
You may need to ditch the booze if...
If you download a habit tracking app to make sure youâre sticking to your allotted amount of alcohol per day. And when it tells you that youâre over, you just delete the app instead of questioning the habit.
Odetteâs challenge this week:
Write down 10 negative memos that come to mind. Donât think about them too much, just write them down. Then re-frame and re-write them and keep them close. Read them often and remind yourself of your power. Share on Instagram and tag us @recoveryelevator on Instagram so we can give you a virtual high five! Or email them to odette@recoveryelevator.com
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources:
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Sober Selfies!- Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to -info@recoveryelevator.com
âRecovery Elevator â Letâs walk this path and letâs walk it together - we love you guys,â
Hannah took her last drink on April 16, 2020. With 45 days sober (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol-free (AF).
Paul has created a new meditation. Itâs 20 minutes long and is specifically geared towards cravings. You can get it here for free.
Odette opens talking about the upcoming long weekend, which is the 4th of July. She asks âhow can we leverage the current state of the world / the current pandemic and our desire to not drink this upcoming holiday weekend?â A celebration that is centered around food and also drinking, what does this mean for our own choices. There is an assumed permission slip that allows you to start drinking at whatever time you want. Given the state of the world and smaller gatherings happening, it might prove to be easier to not drink.
Hereâs a list of how to not drink this weekend
[9:00] Odette introduces Hannah.
Hannah lives in Las Vegas. She is 30 years old. She has worked in the medical field in the past but will begin teaching soon. For fun recently sheâs been doing puzzles. She enjoys hiking, being outdoors, and working out.
[12:33] How have you been feeling in these early days?
Hannah said she previously had some time away from alcohol under her belt, but had started drinking again. So, she was prepared for stopping again. This time it was emotional, but no physical withdrawal symptoms. She feels good and is looking forward to this path.
[14:12] What happened that made you decide to drink again?
Hannah said in January 2019 she tried to do dry January again, but only made it about 15 days. She restarted February 1st and this lasted for her until almost September. While she was for a time able to moderate her drinking, once quarantine began the drinking became a daily thing and she was feeling pretty awful, mentally, and physically.
[16:02] What started you on this path to wanting to live AF? Whatâs your drinking background?
Hannah said she took her first drink around 14 or 15. When she was 17, she lost her mother to addiction and alcohol became her outlet to escape. She had a year of partying harder than any teenager should have. Two weeks after she turned 18, she found out she was pregnant and sobered up, promising her child a better life. She did eventually return to alcohol. While she was succeeding on the outside, she was drinking a lot. Around 25 years old she was experiencing high anxiety and was noticing how alcohol wasnât serving her.
[20:38] Did you have a rock bottom moment or what pushed you to take action?
Hannah said there wasnât a true rock bottom moment, but there were a lot of moments that werenât the smartest: falling, driving drunk, drunk injuries. It was just the understanding that alcohol was what was causing her to feel bad all the time. The shame spiral was real.
The end of 2018 was a heavy drinking period for Hannah and she did 15 days of dry January 2019 but drank. And in February 2019 was her first attempt at living AF.
[28:07] Does your son notice the difference in you drinking vs not drinking?
Hannah said he hasnât ever said anything directly, but she knows he noticed when she was drinking in the past. As he gets older she wants to share more with him about her stopping drinking.
[30:26] Walk us through a day in your life now. Whatâs in your recovery toolbox?
Hannah said that she tries to wake up and get a workout in before work. Waking up early and doing something for herself helps make her day better. This also helps her identify her emotions for the day. After work she and her boyfriend will cook, listen to audiobooks, keeping herself busy is important.
[32:28] Has it been easy having an honest conversation with your boyfriend about your drinking? (Her boyfriend still drinks)
Hannah said it's been difficult; she was emotional in the beginning when she first stopped drinking and had to watch him drink a beer or two. He however has been very supportive. He checks in with her and is often the sober person with her. They no longer keep alcohol in the house.
[34:59] Whatâs your favorite NA drink?
Pamplemousse La Croix.
[35:25] What have you learned about yourself in this journey?
Hannah said over the years she has developed some coping mechanisms, but thereâs still more work to be done. She wants to work on being more open and honest with those close to her. Expressing her feelings honestly and talk and not keep it all inside will be helpful.
[36:20] What gets you excited in life right now?
Hannah said that being there for her son as he gets older. Also, a new career in teaching is exciting. Being fully present.
[38:05] Did you get any pushback from friends when you decided to stop drinking?
Hannah said when she first went AF in 2019, a few friends gave her pushback about it. But this time around sheâs trying to be more honest with friends. In the moment there are always people who question why sheâs not drinking.
[39:22] If you could talk to Day 1 Hannah, what would you say to her?
Just wait it out. Life is so much better without alcohol.
[40:00] Rapid Fire Round
How quickly I can progress without alcohol.
Being in the moment and not being hungover.
Recovery Elevator podcast, CafĂ© RE, talking to more people who donât drink, Sober Happy Hour, Quit Lit,
If you think you have a drinking problem, you probably do. Only you can decide that.
You may need to ditch the booze if...
If you go to the store, buy a bottle of wine, pour Âœ down the drain so you wonât drink it all, drink that and then return to the store to get another bottle of wine.
Odetteâs challenge this week:
Take a picture of your 4th of July contribution. Share on Instagram and tag us @recoveryelevator on Instagram so we can give you a virtual high five!
Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:
The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!
Resources:
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
Sober Selfies!- Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to -info@recoveryelevator.com
âRecovery Elevator â Stay cool, stay weird, stay safe and stay healthy- we love you guys,â