Garrett, with 16 days since his last drink, shares his story
SHOW NOTES
[ 9:15 ] Paul Introduces Garrett. I’ve had stretches of sobriety, I had 14 months, and I’ve had 3 years. I live in Southern California, in Santa Clarita. I work in outside sales, which is a non-structured job perfect for an alcoholic with hangovers. I’m 43, married, like going to Dodger Games. I have 2 kids, 1 in high school, and one in junior high.
[10:45] Paul- What was the impotence behind you quitting alcohol for 3 years, and then for 14 months?
Garrett- The hangovers for me are the body’s way of saying you’ve put a bunch of poison willingly in your body, and this is the result of it. I would be laid out for a full day. Thinking in the moment there is no possible way this could happen again. The feeling in my stomach, I can’t move, or get out of the bed until 4:00 or 5:00 in the evening. One of those times I stopped for 3 years, didn’t go to any program. I lost weight, and started drinking again without any reason. I would romanticize drinking, and once I got the buzz, there was no way I could stop now. I would have to drink to continue with only a short window of feeling good. The cost of that was being completely laid out the entire next day.
[13:35] Paul- What was it like when you first drank after 3 years? Do you remember the first night? Did you pick up right where you left off?
Garrett- No, not really. It was a gradual thing, a slow buildup. My elevator is kind of chaotic; it’s like the elevator at the tower of terror at Disney world. At that point it was gradual. I would wait for people to go to sleep, get a six-pack, and when that was gone, drunk drive to the liquor store and buy some more. I would start with a bottle of wine, then I would go back to the store for tall boys. I don’t know how many I would buy, but I would wake out, the room would start completely shaking, I would close my eyes, and that would be it.
[15:45] Paul- Garrett you mentioned a word earlier that I would like to explore- Fascinating. You would tell yourself I’m only having a couple, but then just game on. Can you tell me more about that fascinating part for you?
Garrett- It was complete and total amnesia every single time. Forgetting the hangovers. The amount of times I would lose not doing the things I wanted to do because I would be hung-over. Because I’m not a bum in the street, I didn’t feel I was a true alcoholic.
[19:30] Paul- Was there a rock bottom moment 16 days ago? How come you quit drinking?
Garrett- It wasn’t a single rock bottom. I have season tickets for the Dodgers. If there was ever a sport made for sitting and drinking beer it is baseball. The beer vendor at the stadium recognized me; I would have to go different vendors because I was embarrassed. The drunk driving home from the games, then going to bars, then drunk driving home again. I dented the garage with my car, and realized with a moment of clarity that this sh#t has got to stop.
[22: 01] Paul- Before I hit the record button you mentioned you felt like you were ping ponging back and forth between: Am I an alcoholic? Do I have a drinking problem? Tell us more about that.
Garrett- It was a stretch of a few days where I would just continually have a few days (of sobriety), and then I would be like “I’m not” because I would have a few days and that proves it. The hangover goes away and I would think I’m not (an alcoholic) again.
[ 24:00] Paul- Is it harder this time around, do you remember?
Garrett- This time I’ve got 16 days. I’m trying to arm myself with some resources. I’m in a Pink Cloud at the moment. History does repeat itself, and I have a plan to address what I know is going to start coming down the road. The key thing is accountability. I never had accountability with another person. I think if I were not anonymous, I wouldn’t have taken that first drink on the New Port Harbor cruise after 14 months of sobriety.
[27:57] Paul- You mentioned you had a bad experience with AA, tell me more about that.
Garrett- I was raised Christian evangelical, about 10 years ago I broke with that, and I am an atheist now. I saw a lot of the judgment, dogma and there was trust that was broken in AA. That combined with the God thing I’m still wrestling with. I need to focus on the positive. I’m ready to explore going back to AA, maybe a different meeting time.
[30:14] Paul- With 16 days of sobriety, what have you learned most about yourself?
Garrett- This time around is more of a sense of inner peace. What I’m realizing now is that I don’t have to keep living the way I was living. There’s no reason I have to pick up a drink again. My life does not have to be how it’s been. I’m choosing not to drink. When cravings strike, I’ve been setting a timer on my apple watch to allow the 20 minutes to pass.
[34:10] Rapid Fire Round
Waking up and having to tell my wife that I was too hung-over to go down to my mom’s house for Easter. Then spending the entire day in a state of despair.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
Mary, with 3 years since her last drink, shares her story….
We all think that the cities we live in should be on the “Nations Drunkest Cities” list. The state of Wisconsin wins the prize for the largest number of cities on this list. Listed below are a few of the favorites:
SHOW NOTES
[6:31] Paul Introduces Mary
Mary – I am 3 years sober, live in Louisiana and am married with 5 children. I like to run and bike and am currently raising puppies. I am a college student and am enjoying getting to know my new sober self.
[9:32] Mary tells the story of her younger 13 year old self
Mary – I was 13 years old and baby-sitting an infant. I invited some friends over and we started drinking. I left the baby in her crib and we drove around. I backed the car into a ditch and hit a palm tree. The police ended up bringing me home.
[12:23] Mary describes her drinking habits
Mary – I was a daily beer drinker and would try to abide by my rules of not drinking before 5 pm. This never worked. At night, if I couldn’t sleep, I would have a drink. If I woke up later in the night, I would have another drink. Pretty soon my window of “not drinking” had shrunk.
[14:00] Did you see any signs that you had a problem?
Mary – If I went out, I would immediately have to have a drink and was always looking for the next one. I would start my night with some drinks at home. In my 20’s and 30’s, I surrounded myself with other drinkers so it seemed normal. My drinking really took off in my 40’s. I started noticing I had a problem more when I became a mom.
[17:21] What was the progression like into alcoholism?
Mary – 1 drink was never enough. I started focusing more on when I could have a drink. Alcohol helped me cope with life. I hated myself.
[18:03] Tell me about this self- loathing
Mary – I used to think “this is as good as it gets?” I had accepted that my life was going to suck.
[18:45] Did you have a bottom?
Mary – I had grown sick and tired of drinking. My family called me out as being drunk when I was slurring my speech. A close friend of mine went to rehab. I stopped drinking in order to support him. As each day passed, I could not believe that I was still not drinking. I went to Al-Anon in order to further support my friend.
[21:05] How did you do it?
Mary – I kept going to Al-Anon. When I visited my friend, he took me to a meeting. As I sat there listening, I realized I wanted what they had. I worked the 12 steps. My life has changed to being joyous and free. It is freeing not having any more secrets.
[24:00] Paul and Mary talk about being sober emotionally
Mary – It felt good to get rid of all of my secrets. I listened to other people in the program and did what they said. I wanted to be happy and try to remain teachable.
[27:23] Describe a day in your life
Mary – I pray every morning and evening. I also meditate (U-Tube 11th step guided meditation). I reach out regularly to friends in the program. I listen to AA recordings (Joe and Charlie AA tapes), read The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.
[30:00] What is on your bucket list?
Mary – Continue to share my story, bring hope to others, and be of service to others.
[31:21] What have you learned the most?
Mary – That I am OK just the way that I am. I am trying to have a good life and do the best I can.
[31:57] What are your thoughts on relapse?
Mary – For some people, it is an important part of their recovery. I try to accept just this 1 day that I have and not “future trip.” Relapse can be an important learning tool in recovery.
[33:00 ] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free
www.southerrunningmom.wordpress.com
bmjopen.bmj.com (article on how women millennials are catching up to men in their alcoholism)
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
Becky, with 10 months since her last drink, shares her story…………
What I learned after spending the weekend with 12 other people at a lake house:
SHOW NOTES
[11:30] Paul Introduces Becky.
Becky – I have been sober for 10 months and live in Indiana. I work in the HR industry, am married and have 2 children. I like to garden and cook.
[13:00] Tell me about hearing your friend Lisa on the RE podcast.
Becky – I was starting to listen to a variety of podcasts on sobriety and heard Lisa’s story. I reached out to her via face book and she talked me through the process of AA. I was able to ask her questions. Something was guiding me.
[18:00] When did you realize you had a problem?
Becky – I was a binge drinker in high school but my drinking tapered off during my first marriage. I soon fell into having a glass of wine every night as a reward. I suffered from a major episode of depression and my therapist suggested I stop drinking. After the depression lifted, I continued drinking 1-2 bottles a night. I tried moderating but could not stop. I felt miserable inside.
[20:30] Tell me about your “yets”.
Becky – I would stumble around parking lots and pass out on the sidewalk. Anything could have happened. I would usually drink after a long day at work. I knew my mother was an alcoholic but I had so much shame that I could not stop. I suffered from black outs and self- loathing.
[24:21] How did you get sober?
Becky – I spoke with Lisa and told my husband. During the first week, I went to meetings. The first 30 days were tough both physically and mentally. Shortly after 30 days, I started to feel better.
[27:16] How was your patience during the first 30 days?
Becky – I was anxious and very short on patience during the first 30 days. The more I fought the craving, the worse it got. I allowed the craving to wash over me instead of fighting it. I was able to take a step back and just look at it.
[29:00] Paul and Becky talk about her hesitation with AA because of God
Becky – I was probably an agnostic before AA. I did not know how I was going to bring God into my life. But there were too many coincidences. There had to be a type of HP intervening. I just know that I could not do this by myself. Some people choose G.O.D. (group of drunks)
[31:49] How important is it for you to be surrounded by others in recovery?
Becky – I could not have gotten sober without my local meetings. I stay active in on-line support groups. It is critical for me to be able to connect with others.
[33:41] Describe a day in your life
Becky – I meditate every day and journal. I try and stay balanced between exercise and work. I have also created my own blog for personal accountability (www.my2point0project.com).
[36:26] What have you learned the most about yourself?
Becky – I am more of a type “A” personality than I thought. I want things done a certain way and have to learn to let that go.
[37:47] What is on your bucket list in sobriety?
Becky – I want to continue to wake up feeling good and strong. I want to help others find jobs and help schedule interviews for them.
[38:45] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
Book – Being Sober, author Harry Haroutunian
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
Dan, with 27 years since his last drink, shares his story……
The new Café RE Blue has been launched. This face book group will cap @ 200. If you would like to join, go to www.recoveryelevator.com. Enter the promo code 1month to get the first month for free.
Getting sober can be confusing. 14 medical schools only offer 1 class on addiction so it is no wonder doctors do not always “get it.” Just how do we navigate sobriety? Since alcohol is legal and we are bombarded by an estimated 50 alcohol related ads a day, the path is not always clear. We often think we are cured after having some consecutive days of sobriety but achieving emotional sobriety is where the real work happens.
The main point to remember is that recovery can take different paths. What works for one may not work for another. Since this disease tells us that we do not have a disease, we have to be ever mindful of that inner voice and realize that we do not have to have all of the answers. Help is available, but you have to ask.
SHOW NOTES
[9:27] Paul Introduces Dan
Dan – I have been sober for 27 years and am from New Hampshire. I am a professional skier, film producer and love most things outdoors.
[12:06] When did you realize that you had a problem?
Dan – I was always a partier. During high school, I was a daily pot smoker and weekend binge drinker. I always wanted to be around people who were drinking. I had this mental obsession with booze and drinking was a part of my life.
[15:23] Did your drinking progress faster as you continued using?
Dan – I was introduced to cocaine in the 8th grade. My tolerance progressed and drinking and driving was just normal for me.
[17:11] Were you always chasing those euphoric feelings?
Dan – I was always chasing the rush of the party. We would throw huge parties any time that we could.
[18:00] Did you have a rock bottom?
Dan – We got kicked off of a booze cruise after only 45 minutes. I told everyone I was going to stop using but instead I hid it. One of my friend’s mothers was in AA and she could tell that I was not comfortable in my own skin. I went to a meeting and first learned of the term “stinkin thinkin”
[22:35] What finally worked?
Dan – I was involved in a tragic storm accident in Russia that resulting in people losing their lives. There was a lot of fallout from this accident. Anger built up within me and soon I started drinking and using again. I reached out to my friend’s mother and she got me into an outpatient center. I also got into therapy and started going to more meetings. I traveled for my job and got sober going to meetings all over the world.
[29:18] What is your day like?
Dan – I am involved in a large sober community. My Catholic faith continues to grow stronger and helps me every day. I go to 2-4 meetings a month and like to read spiritual readings.
[31:14] What do you value most in recovery?
Dan – my relationships with God, family and friends
[32:00] What advice would you give to someone who is resistant to AA because of God?
Dan – you can attend AA without believing in God. The more you attend the meetings, a light will begin to shine. You will start to find peace and contentment within the AA program. It is a program built on faith and love.
[34:06] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
Jason, with 4 years since his last drink, shares his story…………….
Sign up now, there are only 3 spots left for the RE Retreat in Bozeman, MT (www.recoveryelevator.com)
Paul reviews the GQ interview with Brad Pitt. Pitt states that he was boozing too much and learned that either you deny your feelings and stay where you are or you feel the feelings and evolve. He did not want to live that way anymore. Pitt is learning to accept the things about himself that he does not like.
SHOW NOTES
[9:13] Paul Introduces Jason
Jason – I have been sober for 4 years and live in Big Sky, MT. I am a firefighter/paramedic and enjoy outdoor activities.
[11:10] How did you meet your wife?
Jason – I had walked into a bar in the middle of a scuffle. My “soon to be” wife was on the ground and bleeding from her head. I felt the need to come to her rescue. We have been married for 9 years now.
[13:45] When did you realize that you had a problem?
Jason – I did not know I had a problem because all of my family were heavy drinkers. One night I went out with friends and drank very heavily and then drove home. The next morning I had the worst hangover of my life. I really thought I was having a medical emergency, I felt so bad.
[16:46] What were your drinking habits like?
Jason – For the last 10 years, I would get off of work and start drinking. I would spend the last 2 days of my days off sobering up. We had lots of house parties where there was plenty of drinking. My wife and I would also take yearly sailing excursions. They would turn into 2 weeks of binge drinking.
[19:48] How did you get sober?
Jason – I reached out to a family friend who has been sober for 42 years. At first I did not want to go any meetings but I had wanted my wife to stop drinking so we both ended up going to a meeting. The meeting was a total mix of people and completely changed my life.
[23:59] How do you remain sober?
Jason – I go to AA meetings. In early sobriety, I would just show up at meetings and listen. Currently, I stay very involved with my sober community. I also send out daily recovery related e-mails. It helps me stay accountable. If anyone else would like to be added to this e-mail list, send Jason and e-mail (jgras@sailingscubeadventures.com)
[29:52] Paul and Jason discuss being a grateful alcoholic
Jason – I have learned to be grateful and humble. The program has allowed me to change. It has been a journey through self-restoration.
[31:51] Paul and Jason discuss Sober Scuba Sailing Tours
Jason – My wife and I thought it would be a great idea to offer sober sailing excursions. We are organizing a trip in June. For more information on future trips, go to www.sailingscubaadventures.com and send Jason a message.
[39:42] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free
Jason’s e-mail = jgras@sailingscubaadventures.com
www.sailingscubaadventures.com
Tony Robbins – I am Not Your Guru (available on DVD and Netflix)
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
Hold on tight as we follow Paul’s journey coming off his anti-depression meds. Good luck Paul!
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
Kari, with 4 years since her last drink, shares her story……………….
Café RE is now on a waitlist to join. Once the list gets to approximately 30-40 people, another group will be formed. To be placed on the waitlist, go to www.recoveryelevator.com and click on the Café RE tab at the top of the page. Enter the promo code RE1month to join.
Paul reviews the video “The 13th Step.” The 13th step (where new comers are “preyed” upon by others in AA) is joked about in and out of the rooms. The fact is that courts are ordering violent sexual predators to AA for a plea deal. AA should not be a punishment but 40-60% of its attendees are court ordered. This movie depicts AA in a negative light. Sure, there are flaws with AA. Every program has negative aspects and positive aspects. I personally dislike movies that bash any recovery program.
SHOW NOTES
[ 8:39 ] Paul Introduces Kari
Kari – I am 4 years sober and live in Montana. I am married and enjoy skiing, hiking, biking and running.
[11:42] What were your drinking habits like?
Kari – I drank through high school but it really ramped up after college. I was a binge and social drinker but would drink until I blacked out. I would often try and regulate my drinking and could do this for a little while. I would track my drinks on a calendar but was miserable when I tried to moderate.
[22:00] Did you have a bottom?
Kari – After my college boyfriend committed suicide, I just didn’t care to keep my drinking in check. Another bottom was when I locked myself out of my truck after a concert. My husband had to come and get me. He was very angry and I came to the realization that my life and marriage would not continue if I was still drinking.
[29:17] How did you get sober?
Kari – I reached out to some friends who were in AA and attended my first meeting. I immediately knew that I belonged. I saw hope in these meetings and a light at the end of the tunnel.
[36:00] Describe what your day is like.
Kari – Every morning I do some type of reading about recovery (Today’s a Gift, Each Day a New Beginning). I enjoy the beauty around me and it helps keep me grounded. I say thank you every night.
[39:30] Paul and Kari discuss her recent sailing trip
Kari – Both my husband and I were nervous that we wouldn’t have fun. We still enjoyed our fruit drinks without alcohol and kept up our tradition of drinking during the sunsets. I was able to remember the entire sailing trip.
[42:40] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
Steph, with 6 months since her last drink, shares her story
Café RE is now on a waitlist to join. Once the list gets to approximately 30-40 people, another group will be formed. To be placed on the waitlist, go to www.recoveryelevator.com and click on the Café RE tab at the top of the page. Enter the promo code RE1month to join.
It is often said that our HP will not give us more than we can handle. For the last 8-10 months, Paul has been suffering from depression. Around this time, he received a link from his brother about the black dog aka depression (www.youtube.com/watch?v=XiCrniLQGYc). God shout out? The video basically describes how depression creeps up on you whenever it wants to. It is very exhausting trying to keep the symptoms of depression hidden from others. Depression is like losing all of the joy in your life. Your addiction can start talking to you and may say that 1 drink may help. But this is only temporary. Drinking will not help!
SHOW NOTES
[9:00] Paul Introduces Steph.
Steph – I am 6 months sober and feeling great! I am 46 years old, married and have 2 daughters. I currently live in Canada and enjoy cooking and gardening.
[9:25] When did you first realize that you had a problem?
Steph – I have known that I had a drinking problem for the last 25 years. I would drink and drive, blackout, etc. and went to a few AA meetings in my early 20’s. I was sober for 3 years. I do not think that I was ready to give it up entirely yet and started drinking again. My drinking started out slow but steadily got worse. I worked in bars and surrounded myself with other drinkers. After I had my children, I tried to moderate but would still drink to get through the stress of parenting.
[15:53] What was it like to start drinking again after taking some time off?
Steph – After my pregnancies, my drinking very rapidly increased. I reached a point where I was physically addicted and had to drink to keep the symptoms of withdrawal away. If I did not drink, I would get severe anxiety.
[18:35] Did you have a rock bottom moment?
Steph – I tried to quit cold turkey and ended up in the hospital. My children saw me being put into an ambulance. 1 week later, I was drinking again. I felt like I had severely damaged my brain chemistry with all of the alcohol and I could not sleep without sleeping pills. I eventually felt suicidal.
[20:45] How did you get sober 6 months ago?
Steph – I had to start tapering off because I was so physically addicted. My husband helped me by locking up all of the alcohol and only giving me limited amounts each day. I slowly decreased the amount of vodka over 10-12 days. I really wanted to get sober so I did not drive to any liquor stores myself.
[27:22 ] What did you do after those 10-12 days went by?
Steph – I took Kevin O’Hara’s “How to Quit Drinking” course. I would also start my day with recovery books and podcasts. I also got very involved with an on-line community.
[29:00] How has your physical and emotional state evolved since quitting drinking?
Steph – I was on an emotional rollercoaster in the beginning. Now, I have learned to respond rather than react to things.
[29:41] Paul and Steph talk about her U-Tube videos and blog.
Steph – my blog can be found at https://bestirredblog.wordpress.com. Another friend in recovery and I started doing video blogs which can be found on U-Tube, called The Way Back. I also do group skypes with other people in recovery.
[31:20] What have you learned the most?
Steph – I am a lot stronger than I thought.
[31:45] What is on your bucket list in sobriety?
Steph – I would like to help other people get sober.
[32:37] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
Ashley, with 16 days since her last drink, shares her story…..
Do not forget the AALRM race in Bozeman MT, on 5/20. This supports recovery. You can also sign up to do a virtual run at www.recoveryelevator.com\run. Enter promo code “recovery” for a discount.
The Café RE private face book group will be capped at 300 members. If you would like to join the original group, now is the time to sign up. Go to www.recoveryelevator.com and enter the promo code RE1 to get your first month free.
Alcohol does not make us more intelligent. We all know that drinking and drinking is not good. When we start drinking, our mind starts to shift and suddenly is seems like a good idea. We only have a short distance to drive, right? The statistics show that we drink and drive 76 times before getting caught. Drinking also causes us to say and do stupid things, like trying to coax a poodle to run across 5 lanes of traffic, or shout out that a girl had a funky looking toe at a bar. It you would like to send an e-mail with the most unintelligent thing you have ever done while drinking, drop a line to info@recoveryelevator.com.
SHOW NOTES
[11:22] Paul Introduces Ashley.
Ashley – I have been sober for 16 days and feel more focused this time. I am from Iowa, 32 years old and have 3 sons. I am trying to find new sober hobbies.
[13:11] When did you first notice that you had a problem?
Ashley – I started drinking at the age of 12. I would party with older people. I was sneaking booze at the age of 14 and my family sent me away to a home. By the time, I was 21, I had 3 children and 2 DUI’s. I still did not think that I had a problem. I later lost my license for 5 years. I was home alone, couldn’t drive and my drinking really took off.
[16:11] Was it hard getting sober at such a young age?
Ashley – It has been really hard since everyone I know drinks. I am trying to distance myself from my drinker friends and find sober friends.
[17:47] You were sober before. What happened to cause you to drink again?
Ashley – I was doing a cleanse to try and lose some weight. But then a concert came around and I drank there. I stopped for a few weeks but went to a funeral where everyone was drinking. I ended up doing a shot and it was game on from there. I drank for 6 days straight after that. I just couldn’t say no whenever someone offered me a drink.
[21:11] Did you ever put any rules in place to try and control your drinking?
Ashley – I’ve tried every rule imaginable; from only drinking on the weekends, to never drinking at home, or only drinking after the children went to bed.
[24:00] How did you get sober this time?
Ashley – I try and go to AA every day and I listen to podcasts.
[25:41] What are you going to do differently this time?
Ashley – I am distancing myself from my drinking friends and trying to make new sober friends. I also am looking for on-line support in order to locate sober people in my area.
[27:54] Do you think you will ever be able to attend shows sober?
Ashley – Right now, no. But I love music so eventually I would like to be able to go. It is going to take some time.
[29:23] Did you ever go to any “dark” places while drinking?
Ashley – I had tons of blackouts and I lost my license for 5 years.
[29:23] Paul and Ashley talk about a time when she felt like drinking but managed to control the urge.
Ashley – I was recently home alone and starting getting those thoughts of drinking. I watched a few videos on U-Tube and thought that if I drank, I would ruin my week again.
[33:05] What is a typical day like for you?
Ashley – I try to keep very busy with work. I also plan what AA meeting I am going to attend and get up and go.
[34:52] What are your thoughts on a HP?
Ashley – I believe in God and would go to church occasionally as a child. I am trying to get back into church.
[35:49] What are you most proud of and how are your relationships now?
Ashley – I am most proud of being there for my children. I am more active with them. My relationship is much better with them. My children see me being active and happy.
[37:33] Do you have anything on your bucket list?
Ashley – I want to be able to truly love myself and my life. I want to be able to do things without booze.
[38:35] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
Check out the upcoming Machu Picchu trip in 2018. Send an e-mail to info@recoverelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
Laura, with 41 days since her last drink, shares her story…….
Do you ever feel duped by alcohol? Throughout high school, we were all told to “just say no” to drugs but not much was ever said about alcohol. The reality is that only 1 in 10 people with an alcohol problem get treatment. The research shows that the number 1 most addictive drug is alcohol. It kills more people than all other drugs combined.
In 2015, Paul started the RE podcast just to stay accountable for himself. Now, the podcast has gotten so popular because so many people are still struggling. Even though addiction is a chronic disease of the brain, the stigma attached keeps people from getting the help that they need. The challenge for all of us in recovery is to be open about out alcohol use, and get it out in the open.
SHOW NOTES
[13:29] Paul Introduces Laura.
Laura – I am 40 years old and have not had a drink in 41 days. I am married with 2 boys and I live in Michigan. I am a special education teacher and enjoy most outdoor activities.
[16:41] When did you realize that you had a problem?
Laura – I had been drinking pretty heavily since my 20’s. Last summer when I wanted to stop, I could not. During a routine physical, I mentioned to my Dr. that I had some liver issues and that perhaps I should go to rehab. He advised against it stating that there were only drug abusers in there. He suggested I see their social worker but she wouldn’t see me because I was still drinking. I felt like I was going around and around. I even tried Harm reduction which did not work.
[19:46] When you stopped drinking did your health problems go away?
Laura – not entirely but they have gotten better. I exercise more since I am not drinking and that makes me feel better. My rheumatoid arthritis is still there. I thought that once I quit drinking, I would be pain free but that was not the case. After 40 days of not drinking, I am starting to feel some relief from pain. I have started reading “The All Day Energy Diet.”
[23:14] Paul and Laura discuss the Harm Reduction Plan.
Laura – you are supposed to moderate and keep track of how many drinks you have each day. It wasn’t working for me. I found it difficult remaining in contact with the other people in the group. School started and things got crazy so I started drinking again every night. I wanted to stop but just didn’t want to put the work in to do it.
[25:25] How did that feel when you wanted to stop but just wasn’t ready?
Laura – I could get a few days of sobriety under my belt but would always drink on that 3rd day. I was a responsible drinker and would get everything done in my household by 8pm so that I could start drinking.
[30:00] So how did you get 41 days of sobriety?
Laura – I kept myself very busy or would go for a walk just to keep my mind off of it. Every morning I try to exercise and it feels great to not have the guilt about drinking the night before. After work if I get cravings, I will drink a cup of coffee. I also enjoy reading sobriety books and once the summer starts, I would like to check out some AA and SMART meetings.
[32:14] Do you have anything on your sobriety bucket list?
Laura – I would like to run a 5K, travel, and spend more quality time with my children.
[32:59] What advice would you give to your younger sense?
Laura – Stop drinking when you are young. Drinking is not realistic. It is OK to experience your emotions. Do not be afraid to feel them.
[33:03] What are your thoughts on relapse?
Laura – The thought of relapse scares me. I do not want to lose control like that again.
[35:00] Rapid Fire Round
Interesting fact – India has passed a law that establishments that serve liquor cannot be close to federal highways. They have 400 traffic fatalities a day and a big portion of these are due to alcohol. You might be an alcoholic if you remove federal highway signs and replace them with city signs, so that your business is not affected by this new law.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
Check out the new Recovery Elevator sobriety tracker
AALRM – run for recovery. The link is at recoveryelevator.com/run. Enter the promo code recoveryelevator to receive a discount
Book – The All Day Energy Diet by Yuri Elkaim
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
Julie, with 92 days sober, shares her story………
Big alcohol companies like to blame the individual rather than the poison that they sell. The liquor industry spends millions of dollars on advertisements that tell us we should drink responsibly. If we do not drink responsibly, than we are to blame. We should know when to say when, right? The facts show that alcohol kills 85,000 people each year. But to the companies selling the booze, money is the name of the game. These companies make billions while avoiding high taxes because alcohol is not taxed as high as other beverages.
*********************************Don’t be duped by alcohol advertisements*****************************************
SHOW NOTES
[9:21] Paul Introduces Julie
Julie – I have been sober for 92 days and it feels really good. I did not think that I could do it. I am 35 years old and work as a nurse. I enjoy music and going to concerts.
[11:00] When did you realize you had a problem with alcohol?
Julie – I have known for years. I just could never get enough. My first issue was with drugs so I did not focus on my alcohol problem. I went to rehab for drug abuse in 2010 and stayed sober for 18 months after that. The rehab helped with my drug use but then I turned to alcohol. When I tried to quit alcohol, I had hallucinations and ended up spending 4 days in the psych ward.
[14:24] What happened after your 18 months of sobriety?
Julie – I had already started planning to drink. I knew I was going to attend another concert and thought I could drink normally. I ended up drinking so much that I blacked out and continued to drink for 5 more years. I always told myself, “when _______ happens,” I will stop drinking. But I never stopped. I woke up each morning feeling defeated, angry and bitter.
[18:00] Was your rock bottom 92 days ago?
Julie – I did not have a bottom 92 days ago. I was just tired of being sick and tired. I kept wondering when I was going to lose my medical license. I knew it was just a matter of time before this happened. Then, I thought I would try to quit and when it didn’t work, I could at least say that I had tried.
[19:05] Paul asks Julie how she got sober 92 days ago.
Julie – I listened to a lot of podcasts and made it to 30 days. I was feeling really good but still ordered a glass of wine while at lunch with my brother. I did not even enjoy it. I finally admitted to my family that I was done drinking.
[21:23] Paul and Julie discuss accountability.
Julie – My family has been super supportive of my sobriety. I try to take it 1 situation at a time. I still have not been completely honest with them about how much I was consuming but my parents are very encouraging to me.
[25:00] What else did you do?
Julie – My best friend has been sober for over a year and she has been supporting me. I do a lot of reading and am constantly working at changing my mindset.
[27:47] How have your cravings been?
Julie – I try and distract myself by taking my dogs for a walk or keeping busy. I know that the cravings will pass.
[28:34] How did you feel during your first week of sobriety?
Julie – I was pretty apprehensive the first week. I did not think that I could do it. Once 30 days went by, I felt that I had a chance at making it. I am more confident as each day passes.
[29:34] What advice would you give to your younger self?
Julie – You pay a price for everything that you do. You do not know everything when you are young. Drinking is not fun and games anymore.
[30:00] What have you learned in sobriety?
Julie – When I was drinking, I was not living in reality. I was just going through the motions. I have learned that it is possible to live sober and have a clear mind. I did not want to accept that I would be drinking for the rest of my life and possibly losing my career.
[31:00] What are your rules in sobriety?
Julie – Attitude is everything and I am learning as much as I can.
[33:38] Do you have a bucket list?
Julie – I would like to get out of my comfort zone more, try meditation and yoga.
[34:47 ] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
Good Reads to Check Out: Blackout, This Naked Mind, Beyond the Influence
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
Coral, with 7 months since her last drink, shares her story……
Do we have to say it again? Let’s drop the stigma regarding addiction. The research shows that alcoholics have a genetic predisposition towards alcohol. It is not a character defect, nor a moral weakness. Yet, even after these results are published, about 20% of the general population, along with many psychiatrists still believe that it is a personal weakness.
Kenneth Bloom conducted early experiments on neurology and molecular genetics. Hundreds of these experiments showed that alcoholism is hereditary. Many adoption studies have also been done and they show that children with at least 1alcoholic biological parent were 3 to 4 times more likely to become an alcoholic, regardless of their non-alcoholic adoptive parents.
When an alcoholic drinks, our neurotransmitters go awry and our bodies break down booze differently than normal drinkers. That’s the facts folks.
SHOW NOTES
[14:08] Paul Introduces Coral.
Coral – I am 32 years old and live in Idaho. I work in an industrial plant. I am married and have a 9 year old son.
[16:08] Did you think you had a problem with drinking?
Coral – My husband and I have been trying to conceive but after our IVF failed, I went on a 2 week bender, full of self- pity. I would grab a beer first thing in the morning. Drinking was not helping anything. Now it just feels surreal to be sober. I did not think that I could do it. Drinking has always been a part of my life. But being in a recovery program keeps me from getting stagnant.
[19:21] When did you realize that you had a problem?
Coral – There were plenty of times I told myself that I should slow down. These slow down plans never worked. I would try to limit hard liquor or not drink during the day. Sometimes I was able to slow down but it never lasted long.
[22:11] Paul and Coral discuss her bottoms.
Coral – One of my worst memories was having some new friends over to my house for a BBQ. I ended up tripping over something in the yard and fell into the fire pit. I was burned over 10% of my body. Even after this, I never looked at myself as having a problem. It took a few months to re-cooperate after this accident. I was on heavy pain medications and still drank while on them. After 3 months, I went to the doctor to get a refill of my pain medication. He would not refill my prescription and I ended up going through withdrawal.
[26:00] How did you quit drinking 7 months ago?
Coral – I started listening to podcastsand going to meetings. I joined the Club Soda club on-line and I also started seeing a therapist.
[30:00] Paul and Coral discuss her relationship with her husband and his drinking.
Coral – My husband was also a drinker and struggles a little bit. He has been very supportive of my recovery. He has his own path in recovery and I have mine.
[31:33] When did your thinking shift from “I can’t do this” to “I can do this?”
Coral – Probably around 90 days. I had been denied a promotion that I thought I had in the bag. I felt like jumping out of my own skin. I decided to get in the car and drove many miles to a meeting. I left the meeting wondering why I hadn’t gone to a meeting in so long. It was so good to be around other people with this same problem. Sobriety is my #1 priority now, otherwise I will lose everything.
[33:33] What have you learned the most about yourself?
Coral – I am still learning about myself. Right now I am in the middle of the 4th step and it has been very eye opening.
[34:34] How have your cravings been?
Coral – I do eat a lot of sugar. I gave up alcohol, caffeine and cigarettes at the same time. So I need my sugar. When a craving hits, I try to meditate, exercise or go to a meeting.
[35:40] How have your relationships changed?
Coral – My husband and I get along much better. Instead of having arguments, we discuss things now. I am also closer to my extended family since they are non-drinkers.
[36:43] What is a typical day like for you?
Coral – I usually say a prayer every morning and then head off to work. I will go to a few meetings each week and enjoy spending time with my family.
[37:00] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
Michael, with 32 years since his last drink, shares his story.
In a recent CNN interview with Jeremy Broderick, he talks about how the GOP replacement plan for Obamacare makes things worse for the addict. Many treatment plans were covered under Medicaid as well as the Affordable Care Act. Trump-care isn’t what is seems to be and pushes more for accessibility instead of universal coverage. In the meantime, 200 people die a day while the government sorts this out. It is estimated that for every $1.00 spent on treatment, $4.00 is saved on healthcare and for every $1.00 spent on education/prevention, $50.00 is saved on healthcare.
SHOW NOTES
[8:18] Paul Introduces Michael
Michael – I am 60 years old with 32 years of sobriety. I have 2 twin sons and I run health and wellness websites. I like to walk, hike and meet like-minded people.
[10:48] When did you realize that you had a problem?
Michael – it was long before I was 28 years old. I started drinking alcoholically at age 14. I was in an accident and arrested for DUI at the age of 19. My drinking slowed down a little when my uncle died but I picked up smoking weed instead. Cocaine was finally my downfall. I was starting to spend hours in blackouts and was continuously apologizing for things that I had done.
[13:14] What were your drinking habits like?
Michael – During nights’ outs, I could drink 20 bottles of beer. We would go out to the bars starting at midnight and drink until 7am.
[14:08] Did you ever put any rules into place to control your drinking?
Michael – I couldn’t start drinking early in the day because I would keep going. I intentionally started drinking later in the day so that I had a chance to make it home safely.
[15:23] What drug do you think led you to cocaine? Pot or alcohol?
Michael – It was probably the pot. I needed it when I first woke up in the morning just to be able to get to work.
[16:04] How did you do it?
Michael – I started going to meetings and was completely overwhelmed by the love of the community. They enveloped me with their hugs and love. Our motto was hugs, not drugs. I went to 1 sober party after another. There wasn’t any time to do drugs. I learned to be careful who I surrounded myself with. Build your community of sober friends. Community is everything to me. I never feel alone when I surround myself with people who are moving in the same direction. There is no addiction sigma within these sober communities.
[22:29] Did you start with NA or AA?
Michael – I started with NA and we were a small group. We were sponsoring 5-10 people at a time. I received some advice that I should try an AA meeting in order to see what longer term sobriety was. My first AA meeting had some old timers who basically told me to, “sit down and shut up.” They taught us what real time recovery was.
[25:35] What is your advice for finding real recovery?
Michael – You’ve got to tap in to your resources. There are many milestones that are going to happen to you in recovery. Your world can still fall apart at any time. You will always have to deal with emotional experiences.
[27:27] What advice would you give to your younger self?
Michael – When we are drinking, we tend to gravitate towards other drinkers. Most of the rest of the population does not drink like we do. It is OK to be with these normal/non-drinkers. There is an entire world full of incredible people who do not care whether you drink or not.
[30:00] Tell us your thoughts regarding sugar addiction.
Michael – I think that sugar is the real gateway drug. It is so subtle that you do not realize it is even happening. Sugar is a powerful psychoactive drug. You can become physically and mentally addicted to sugar. We crave it when we need a mental break. When we eat sugar, we temporarily feel better about ourselves.
[35:40] What is viral recovery.com?
Michael – It is my website where I advocate to change the stigma of addiction with healthcare. I post what others are doing (such as Paul!) to change the attitudes surrounding addiction.
[36:51] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
www.facingaddiction.org – to sign the petition
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
Heath, with 40 days since his last drink, shares his story…..
*****Please review the RE podcast in iTunes*****
Can we taper off alcohol? It is nearly impossible to cut back on alcohol because it is so addictive. Our own addictive mind lies to us and tells us that we can cut back. In all of the interviews done on the Recovery Elevator podcast, there has not been 1 interviewee who claimed they were able to moderate. If you have, send a message to info@recoveryelevator.com. Paul would love to interview you!
What happens when we try to taper down our alcohol consumption? Each day gets more painful than the last as we try to limit our drinks. We often try to implement rules to control ourselves but these never last. The question to ask yourself is, “Where does alcohol stand on your priority list?”
SHOW NOTES
[10:00] Paul Introduces Heath.
Heath – I am 40 days sober, live in Atlanta and am 41 years old. I enjoy running, working out and spending time with my 9 year old daughter.
[11:14] When did you realize that you had a problem?
Heath – I knew that I had a problem all of my life. The last few years I have been trying to get sober. I finally wanted to get sober for myself.
[12:19] Did you ever put any rules in place?
Heath – I could not drink around my wife so I needed to keep my drinking limited to 9-5. I would occasionally go without drinking for a few weeks. Being self-employed made it difficult to remain sober. I turned to marijuana and Xanax to try and get through the day. Once the Xanax ran out, I went back to drinking.
[16:19] Did you hit a rock bottom?
Heath – I had multiple accidents where I totaled cars but this time nothing big actually happened. I thought to myself that either I have to deal with this now or deal with it later.
[17:31] How did you do it?
Heath – I kept very busy the first week of sobriety. Exercise was super important and I started running every day. I also go to SMART meetings. I want to be prepared once the pink cloud dissipates. When I go to SMART meetings, I try to look for similarities. When I see that someone has relapsed, I immediately think that I do not want that to be me.
[24:23] How have your relationships changed?
Heath – I no longer carry any guilt. My wife is still skeptical that I have quit for good but my daughter is super thrilled that I am sober.
[25:30] How have your cravings been?
Heath – When I first got a craving I raced right to the gym. 45 minutes on the elliptical machine stopped that craving. Exercise releases the endorphins I need.
[27:36] What have you learned about yourself?
Heath – I am not as anxious as I thought I was. Once I got off the booze and Xanax, I was more relaxed than I had been before.
[30:00] What have you accomplished in sobriety?
Heath – I still feel very humble in sobriety. I am looking forward to getting my relationship back with my wife and possibly starting to save some money.
[ ] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
Annie Grace “This Naked Mind” video course. Find it at www.recoveryelevator.com/annie. Enter promo code elevator50 to receive $50 off
AALRM = Run for recovery in Bozeman, MT on 5/20/17. Sign up link below: https://runsignup.com/Race/MT/Bozeman/AALRMRunforRecovery
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
Lou, with 2 years since his last drink, shares his story…
5/20/17 – Join us for Run for Recovery in Bozeman, MT. Not a runner? Sign up for a virtual run @ RecoveryElevator.Com/Run. Enter promo code recoveryelevator to receive $5.00 off.
Is quitting drinking a sacrifice? We often fear that we are giving up on pleasure if we have to give up alcohol. This is absolutely false. If we are in the right mind set when we quit drinking, there will not be any void. Instead, you will be giving up all of the shitty things that booze does to you. Soberity is not a sacrifice but an opportunity.
SHOW NOTES
[7:46] Paul Introduces Lou.
Lou – I have been sober for 2 years and live in NJ. I am 27 years old and enjoy meditation, yoga and living for a higher purpose. My work is my fun.
[9:17] When was your rock bottom?
Lou – My actual sobriety date was not my bottom. I fell in love with drinking during high school and college. I was arrested for attempted burglary in college because I was trying to get into people’s houses during a blackout. I made some bad decisions that were very shameful. I started seeing where I could have been and comparing it to where I actually was. I had been living for the weekends and the rave parties. In 2014 I heard a whisper that said, “I’ve got to stop this.” I started my journey towards personal development and connected with some young ambitious people. I finally started to see that I had a higher purpose than drugs and alcohol.
[20:46] Paul and Lou discuss meditation.
Lou – I was hiking up in Joshua State Park when I decided to stop and meditate. I started breathing and fell into a loving peace that I had never felt before. I kept thinking, “You are fulfilled.” The next day I started journaling. Again, I felt the spiritual experience. “Do I want what life has to offer?” I decided, at that point, that I needed to quit drinking.
[27:29] How did you quit drinking?
Lou – I wrote in my journal – On this day, I am done drinking. Started with just 1 day at a time. I kept having these spiritual energy experiences. I felt a call for a higher purpose. I quit my job without any notice which was totally out of character for me. My co-workers sent the police to my house. They were afraid that I was going to commit suicide.
[31:00] Did you use AA?
Lou – I did not go to AA. I had such a spiritual shift that I was a completely different person and did not want alcohol at all.
[32:30] What advice would you give to your younger self.
Lou – Look at who you are surrounding yourself with. Life is a natural high. You can live an exciting life without drugs and alcohol.
[33:00] What do you value most in sobriety?
Lou – I am proud of being a non-drinker. I do not feel labeled or an outcast anymore.
[34:07] What is your proudest achievement in sobriety?
Lou – I have written a book that tells my story. “Find Your Truth” can be found on Amazon. I like getting the message out to others that we all have a higher purpose. Once you get addicted to the right things, life is amazing.
[36:32] What does a day in the life of Lou look like?
Lou – I do a lot of journaling, meditation, yoga, and work on my business. I really do not think about booze at all.
[38:00] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free
www.louredmond.com
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
Chris, with 11 months since his last drink, shares his story……
Does alcohol relieve our fears? Absolutely not. It may initially feel like it does but what booze is really doing is taking away our survival instincts. It removes our ability to face our fear (and fear is there for a reason). We become the turtle hiding away in its’ shell. Or worse yet, alcohol takes away our inhibitions which can put us in dangerous situations. It doesn’t make us courageous. We may feel like Superman after 1-2 drinks but who stops there? Alcohol impairs our judgement and we end up attempting to fly like Superman, but without a cape.
SHOW NOTES
[8:58] Paul Introduces Chris.
Chris – I have been sober for 347 days and it feels great! I am 45 years old and live in Portland Oregon. I am married with a 12 year old daughter. I like to travel, spend time with my family and watch stand-up comedy shows.
[10:27] When did you first realize that you had a problem?
Chris – I started noticing that I drank too much in my early 20’s but for the last 2 years I could not go without alcohol for a week. When my sister got married, I was pretty much in a blackout the entire week. My final bottom came after a vacation in Hawaii. On the last day I went on a total binge and couldn’t even be out in public. The day was entirely wasted and I had to sleep it off. I told my wife that I needed help and could not do it alone.
[14:11] How did your wife react?
Chris – We had both been trying to cut back and since she works in the healthcare field, she knew of some phone numbers I could call. I contacted the support line and was seen by a therapist the following day. I honestly told the therapist how much I had been drinking and he informed me that I was destroying my liver. This was a good thing for me to hear. It made me realize just how bad my drinking had gotten.
[17:53] What type of treatment did you receive?
Chris – I saw a therapist pretty quickly and then told my wife how much I had been consuming. She was surprised when I told her I had been hiding it.
[19:25] What was your first week of sobriety like?
Chris – The first few days were physically rough but after the 1rst month I felt great. Mentally, it is still tough. I still have days that feel fuzzy. Drinking caused me to lose that spiritual light.
[21:33] How are your relationships now?
Chris – my relationship with my daughter is better than ever. I am finding new layers to me by reading and doing self-help work. My wife and I are working on our relationship.
[22:33] What have you learned about yourself?
Chris – I can survive discomfort and unhappy feelings without drinking. It is OK to not feel good sometimes.
[24:45] What does a day in the life of Chris look like?
Chris – I check the RE face book page every morning. I am learning to meditate but at least try and take some time to myself each day. I also go to SMART recovery meetings once a week.
[27:00] What are SMART meetings like?
Chris – the meetings can vary. Some follow the SMART handbook and they help you look at your priorities and choices. Other meetings are more like open discussions. You can talk about anything. The basic premise is that you can control your reactions.
[30:00] Have you had any cravings?
Chris – They are a lot weaker and occur less frequently now. I made changes to my life like not going to bars. I also always have an escape plan if needed. By planning ahead, I do not put myself in any drinking situations if possible. If someone offers me a drink, I simply say “No thanks” or “Drinking isn’t working for me right now.”
[35:11] What are your thoughts on relapse?
Chris – This addiction is tough. I am not sure why I haven’t relapse just that I haven’t for today. I think relapse is more common when you are not fully ready to embrace sobriety.
[37:13] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
Book – The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
Mitchell, with 30 days since his last drink, shares his story
How to quit drinking
SHOW NOTES
[ 16:57 ] Paul Introduces Mitchell
Mitchell – I have 1 month of sober time and I feel great. I am originally from Michigan, 31 years old and am the lead pastor of my parish. I am married with a 3 year old boy. I enjoy playing music, the outdoors and anything Disney!
[ 20:00 ] When did you realize that you did not drink normally?
Mitchell – I was 22 years old when I had my first drink. I drank through college but stopped for 7 years when I started my pastor role. I started drinking again to alleviate anxiety and depression. When I took an actual inventory of my drinking, I found that I was drinking every day. I never took a day off.
[ 22:49 ] Is there any history of alcoholism in your family?
Mitchell – It is not talked about much but I am sure it is there.
[ 23:00 ] Paul and Mitchell discuss the 7 years he did not drink.
Mitchell – I really did not think about it much at the time. I was busy building my parish. Before I knew it, I was drinking on Fridays and then every day again.
[ 23:49 ] Did you ever put any rules in place to moderate your drinking?
Mitchell – Rules never worked for me. Something situational always came up that gave me the excuse to drink. Alcohol was my “go to” tool.
[ 24:26 ] Did you have a rock bottom?
Mitchell – I didn’t have a severe rock bottom but I would try and a break from drinking. I had to keep drinking more and more in order to get the same effect. The drinking would cause me to make unhealthy choices like eating everything in sight.
[ 26:00 ] How important has your HP been for you?
Mitchell – God gives me hope. My relationships with others, being a lead pastor, and my relationship with God can be just as stressful as it is helpful. Alcohol was my escape from thinking about God, even as I served him.
[ 27:10 ] Have you ever felt let down by God?
Mitchell – It was very challenging leading new community and I would look forward to those drinks at night.
[ 28:05 ] How did you get sober?
Mitchell – I signed up for the RE group on Facebook. This took some initiative. I also went on a diet and this reduced my cravings significantly. I love being helpful to others and surrounding myself with people who “get it.”
[ 31:42 ] Have you had any withdrawals?
Mitchell – nothing really physical, but I have been edgy and irritable.
[ 33:04 ] How are you living life on life terms?
Mitchell – It is OK for life to be nuts. You do not have to escape it. You are strong enough to deal with things that come your way.
[ 34:06 ] How is the best way to pray?
Mitchell – You need to be confident in your God. Just talk openly and honestly to him like you would do with a friend.
[ 35:00 ] What advice would you give to your younger self?
Mitchell – Do not take that first drink. Alcohol is addictive to everyone. It is not safe.
[ 37:28 ] How has your relationships changed?
Mitchell – I am more present for my wife and child. I enjoy being in the moment instead of rushing through things in order to get back to my drinking.
[ 38:07 ] Tell me about a day in the life of Mitchell?
Mitchell – I will continue to reach out to others. I also do a lot of reading in order to consistently remind myself of what alcohol did to me.
[ 39:03 ] Rapid Fire Round
*****You are the average of the 5 people you hang out with the most****
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
Amanda, with 19 months since her last drink, shares her story
Why we drink:
Not on the list of why we drink: a moral failing or a weakness of character
SHOW NOTES
[ 7:45 ] Paul Introduces Amanda. How long have you been sober?
Amanda – I have been sober for 19 months. This is the longest I have ever been sober. I feel very proud of myself.
[ 8:51 ] What is your background?
Amanda – I am from Mississippi but now live in Florida with my 15 year old daughter.
[ 10:27 ] Did you ever try to put rules in place to moderate your drinking?
Amanda – I started drinking when I was 16 so there were no rules in the beginning. I was that sloppy drunk girl in the room. I would start watching the clock for 5:00 which meant it was time to drink.
[ 12:34 ] When did you first realize that you had a problem?
Amanda – In 2010, one bad thing after another happened to me. I was put in jail for domestic violence. I was so ashamed of not being able to control myself with alcohol. I felt that I was a strong person since I had raised my daughter alone. I did not want to appear weak and vulnerable.
[ 14:26 ] Amanda and Paul discuss the stigma of addiction.
Amanda – I had twin cousins who died because of alcohol. Their memory and my daughter were the only reasons why I didn’t commit suicide myself. I felt like no one cared about me so why should I care about myself?
[ 16:01 ] How did you get sober?
Amanda – I did not use AA. I went to a rehab that taught the 12 steps but after I was released, there was no support. No one called or checked on me. My parents had basically just dropped me off at rehab. I still drank for 4 years and then turned to meth. I finally decided that I was either going to die or go back to jail. I moved to another state but was still hanging out with the same type of people. I knew I needed to give up booze so I started looking for something else to do. This led me to find a group of people who were into mud runs. I got into fitness.
[ 21:42 ] Amanda and Paul discuss her days in rehab and her personal development.
Amanda – I did not feel like anything had changed after my 60 days in rehab. Afterward I started looking into motivational development. Someone told me that I was born with a purpose. Everyone has the power to help others. I was under the false assumption that life was going to be a piece of cake. I joined a personal development community (Breather University). The people in this group accepted me and my life has completely changed. I am Amanda and I am amazing! I am not a part of sobriety groups because I hate the alcoholic label. What you say about yourself is what you are.
[ 33:36 ] What is your pump up song?
Paul – Limp Bizkit, “Nookie” (Life is an opportunity, not an obligation).
Amanda – Jason Aldean, “Gonna Know We Were Here” (Self-affirmations are super important to me).
[ 34:08 ] What is your relationship like with your daughter?
Amanda – We have had to rebuild our relationship. She lived with my parents for the last 6 months that I was using. She moved in with me when I went to Florida. There has been a lot of growing and we have had to push through the hard times.
[ 36:50 ] What is a typical day like for you?
Amanda – I say positive affirmations to myself every day. I list 3 things that I am grateful for every day. I try to exercise, read or watch personal development videos every day.
[ 39:09 ] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
Amanda U-Tube videos – Patched Wangs
Book “Beyond the Influence,” by Katherine Ketcham
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
Paul G with 10 years of sobriety, shares his story……
What is mindfulness? Mindfulness is basically a type of coping strategy. It is being in the moment, paying attention and being present.
Why should we practice mindfulness?
Unfortunately many alcoholics have terrible coping skills and we can live entirely in our head. Mindfulness training can help us stay in the moment. It is the art of being, not doing.
SHOW NOTES
[ 9:05 ] Paul C Introduces Paul G from Hope Rehab in Thailand. How long have you been sober?
Paul G – over 10 years. My first round of rehab happened when I was 19 years old.
[ 11:00 ] Tell our listeners a little about yourself.
Paul G – I am originally from Ireland but now live in Thailand. I am married and have a 10 year old son
[ 11:30 ] Did you ever try to implement rules to control your drinking?
Paul G – I did not have any rules in place at the beginning of my drinking life. Alcohol gave me comfort. After taking my first drink, I finally liked who I was and where I was. I moved to England and worked in a bar where I was able to drink all day long. A girlfriend convinced me to leave that occupation and I realized I had not gone a day without drinking in many years. I went to rehab for her, not because I wanted to stop drinking.
[ 16:14 ] Paul C and Paul G discuss his first stay in rehab.
Paul G – After I left rehab, I did not stay sober. I knew if I drank, I would lose my girlfriend. I chose booze over the girl. I got back into school and immediately went on a drinking bender. I was having panic attacks and suffered from alcohol induced depression. I was just hoping for someone to get me psychiatric help because I could not even complete the forms to have myself admitted to the hospital.
[ 19:11 ] So you basically drank yourself homeless?
Paul G – Yes, I was walking the streets and wandered in to a recovery house. They sent me to a dry house for 1 year and stated that I did not need psychiatric help. My panic attacks had all been alcohol induced. I stayed sober for 2 years.
[ 20:40 ] What happened after 2 years?
Paul G – I got sick of thinking and talking about recovery. I had been so enthusiastic in early recovery but was starting to feel like I was missing out on something. The mental obsession had returned. Perhaps I had opened that door again. I was going to bars with my sober friends but it was a very slippery slope.
[ 23:00 ] What was your bottom like?
Paul G – I drank for another 10 years because I felt like I had some control in the beginning. I did not end up back in that poor mental state so it gave me a sense of false confidence. Things eventually did go downhill and I moved to Saudi Arabia thinking that because it is a dry country, it would make it easier to stop drinking. My first day on the job, I was shown the bins where all of the illegal alcohol was stored. Booze was readily available and even stronger since it was home brewed. I knew that I would die if I stayed to I moved to Thailand.
[ 28:00 ] How did you get introduced to meditation?
Paul G – I have been into meditation for years. After every relapse I would always go back to meditation. My problem was that I was using meditation to escape reality instead of using in to get “into” reality. I would use meditation to get into a blissful state when it should be used to get grounded.
[ 31:22 ] How is meditation similar to mindfulness?
Paul G – Mindfulness is the ability to objectively observe our thoughts. It allows us to take a backward step and see our thoughts. Mindfulness is a part of meditation.
[ 32:11] What are some things we can do to enter into a mindfulness state?
Paul G – You need to bring your thoughts to a physical sensation. We use feel beads in therapy. With true meditation, you start to see how your mind has been tricked. The craving, which is that voice in our heads, is not always obvious. Mindfulness helps you identify what your brain is doing and the craving loses its’ power. Addiction is like having an allergic reaction to our emotions.
[ 37:35 ] Rapid Fire Round
******Congratulations to Allison for reaching 1 year of sobriety! You rock!******
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Recovery Elevator Retreat – (A Personal Recovery Wellness Retreat – non 12 step based)
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
Inside Timer App (mindfulness app found in iTunes)
Podcast – Hope Rehab Mindful Compassion Show (www.hoperehabcenterthailand.com)
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
Henk, 5 years sober, shares his story…..
How do most people get sober? We all assume that it is through rehab or 12 step programs and that your odds are slim if you try to do it on your own (www.addiction.com). During the 1980’s an idea was promoted that the only way you could get and stay sober was through rehab programs or AA. However, a study that followed problem drinkers from 2001-2005 showed that 85% of these drinkers got sober without any outside help (a phenomenon known as spontaneous or natural remission recovery). It should be noted that the majority of these people still had strong support systems at home and in their community.
SHOW NOTES
[ 7:53 ] How long have you been sober?
Henk – I have been sober since Sept 13, 2010. I am originally from Holland but now live in Thailand where I for work for Hope Rehab. I also love to ride motor bikes.
[ 9:30 ] When did you realize that you had a problem?
Henk – I have been in and out of various treatment facilities since I was 23. At the age of 13, I began drinking and using drugs. This quickly escalated into selling drugs at the age of 15. By the time I turned 30, I had been in 5 long term treatment programs. They did not work because I did not want to stop drinking, I just wanted the problems to stop.
[ 11:15 ] Do you think that alcohol is the gateway drink?
Henk – Yes, when I drank I became a completely different person. We believe that it is more alcohol than marijuana that leads to destructive behavior.
[ 12:29 ] Paul and Henk discuss what lead him to finally seek treatment
Henk – My family did not want anything to do with me anymore. I had racked up high debts and I could not even take care of myself. I was living in dilapidated conditions. I finally realized that you cannot run away from what is in your head. You cannot drink those thoughts away.
[ 13:37 ] What was the biggest difference between your last 2 rehabs?
Henk – I had lost everything and was mentally and physically dying. I decided that I could not go back to that kind of life.
[ 15:00 ] Paul and Henk discuss the “gift” of desperation
Henk – The gift of desperation is very painful but it helped get me clean. It made me realize what I had done to myself.
[ 16:32 ] Paul and Henk discuss the value of a fishing rod
Henk – Right after leaving treatment, I found that I had no hobbies and no friends. I had to find some type of higher power and since I had a love of nature, I decided to buy a fishing pole. Anytime I was bored, angry, and lonely or upset, I would go to the canal and sit with my fishing pole. I would feel the wind and watch the water move. It really helped settle my mind. I also bought a pair of running shoes and began running. It was time to move forward.
[ 21:47 ] Paul and Henk discuss the classroom exercise he observed while visiting Hope Rehab in Thailand
Henk – I try to make the patients understand that work is needed if you want to remain sober. Relapse rates are very high and I try to stress the importance of putting in the effort. You want to remain sober? You’ve got to do the work.
[ 25:20 ] How are you staying sober now?
Henk – My sobriety is still my #1 priority. I have a sponsor and still go to meetings, especially when I travel. Since I work in a rehab facility, I am constantly seeing new comers. It helps remind me that addiction is so painful. When I reached 1 year of sobriety myself, I had tears running down my face because I could not believe that I had done it!
[ 27:50] What are your thoughts on relapse?
Henk – Relapse is a sign of some type of reservation in recovery. As alcoholics, we can think of a million reasons to drink. Nothing that happens to you justifies a relapse. Drinking only makes it worse.
[ 30:39 ] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode:
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
James, with 79 days sober, shares his story……..
Paul starts the show by recommending Annie Grace’s video course on how to get started in sobriety and how to make lasting changes. www.recoveryelevatory.com/Annie. Enter promo code elevator50 to receive $50 off.
Does getting sober mean simply not drinking? No – not drinking equals a dry drunk. Getting stuck as a dry drunk also means that your life will not be as happy and fulfilling as it should be. This can lead to a slow downhill decline until you pick up drinking again. If giving up alcohol feels like a punishment, than you have entered into dry drunk land (www.alcoholrehab.com). Recovery does not mean returning to the life you had before drinking; it means moving through the challenges of what life throws your way.
Symptoms of a dry drunk:
Getting involved in meetings and being engaged in your recovery program can help you recognize these symptoms. If you feel like a dry drunk, you should examine your program to see what is missing.
SHOW NOTES
[ 12:30 ] Paul Introduces James who has been sober for 79 days. James feels lucky that the gifts and goodness of sobriety have come to him already.
[ 13:15 ] James is 29 years old, lives in NJ and sells software. He enjoys going to the gym daily and golfing.
[ 14:53 ] James discusses his drinking history
James – I was your typical teenage binge drinker. When I went to college, I got involved with religion and the Bible and really did not drink much. After college, I ended up taking a job on Wall Street where drinking and drugs were prevalent. Even though I was drinking just like everyone else, I still struggled with my internal beliefs (Why are we all here?). I was making good money on Wall Street but my addictions kept me from making emotional connections.
[19:25 ] James discusses how drugs and alcohol were only the solution. Reality was the real problem.
James – I wanted to be able to look back on my life with pleasure regarding my relationships and the bonds that I had formed. Alcohol and drugs were keeping me from reaching this ultimate goal. I had tried to control my drinking but finally the pain was just too much to take.
[ 21:06 ] James discusses his rock bottom
James – I had been skidding against the rock for quite a while. I would go 3-4 weeks without drinking and then would just tear it up. This behavior went on for 2-3 years. It was like having 2 separate lives. I finally checked myself in to an outpatient rehab. This allowed me to start reconnecting to other people in the program.
[ 25:00 ] What was it like after connecting with these people?
James – I immersed myself in recovery (reading, writing, dialytic behavior therapy). It was hard getting out of my comfort zone but I started communicating better with my girlfriend, I stopped lying and began telling everyone I was done with drinking.
[ 28:30 ] What were the reactions of the people you were telling?
James – I was surprised at the amount of support I was receiving. My friends would joke that I should have gone to outpatient rehab 3 years earlier. I also felt like people respected me more for the work that I was doing in recovery.
[ 30:21 ] What is your plan moving forward?
James – I am taking it 1 day at a time. Not drinking enables me to have the life that I want to have. I am trying new things and keeping recovery fresh.
[ 31:54 ] Paul and James discuss the passing of his father and how he is dealing with those feelings without using alcohol.
James – I feel like I have only scratched the surface of life without alcohol. The full extent of my father’s passing has not hit me yet. I want those feelings to come even if by a freight train.
[ 32:58 ] Which recovery tool is resonating with you right now?
James – Outpatient rehab has been the most helpful so far.
[ 34:12 ] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
May 20th in Bozeman MT is the AALRM (run for recovery). You can sign up for a virtual run at www.recoveryelevator.com/run. Enter promo code recoveryelevator to receive $5.00 off
DBT (dialytic behavior therapy) for people struggling with substance abuse problems, is a way to achieve self-acceptance while simultaneously accepting the need for change. There are four basic aspects to DBT: mindfulness, interpersonal relations, emotion regulation, and distress tolerance.
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
Jeff, who has been sober since Dec 5, 2016, shares his story……
Paul starts the show recounting his 2 weeks visiting Hope Rehab in Thailand. (www.hope-rehab-center-thailand.com)
What I learned in Rehab
SHOW NOTES
[ 9:28 ] Jeff’s full e-mail to Paul is posted on the Recovery Elevator blog
www.recoveryelevator.com
[ 10:30 ] Tell us a little about yourself and when your last drink was.
Jeff – My last drink was on 12/4/16. I am originally from Denver, married and have a 17 year old son. I am entrepreneur who likes to fish and wakeboard.
[ 11:48 ] Did you ever try to put rules in place in order to control your drinking?
Jeff – I really had not tried to stop until this past fall. I would only spend a specified amount of money on alcohol or only drink on the weekends. This tango dance with booze never worked.
[ 14:08 ] Why do you call yourself a high bottom drinker?
Jeff – It took me a long time to label myself as a problem drinker. I got married young, I owned a small business, and was a normal drinker for a long time. I was able to justify my drinking because my life was good up to a point.
[ 17:57 ] When did you realize that you were not a normal drinker?
Jeff – By my late 20’s, my drinking was really progressing. I was living for the weekend parties with my neighbors. This was normal behavior among all of us. We would also hold church services at the house in which drinking was included.
[ 21:43 ] Walk us through your first DWI.
Jeff – We had gone out with all of the neighbors. Our designated driver had started drinking so I offered to drive us to the next restaurant. When I was pulled over, it was more embarrassing than anything. By 2008-2009, I was suddenly divorced and had primary care of my son. I was full of self-pity and this justified my drinking. Later that year I was out drinking and called my cousin to come pick me up. She had a few cocktails at the bar as well. She was driving us home later and swerved off of the road and we hit a concrete barrier. I still continued to drink after this.
[ 28:47 ] Paul and Jeff discuss how he successfully cut back drinking in 2016
Jeff – I still did not think that I had an alcohol problem. I thought it was more of a relationship problem. My current wife’s child was in the hospital and I suddenly thought that I did not want to end up there because of my drinking. I had a good marriage and a rock star son. I did not want to lose everything that I had.
[ 33:27 ] Tell us more about your obsession with alcohol.
Jeff – I could not get past the first step of admitting that my life was unmanageable. I still think that I can manage my life, just not as well. I finally realized that I couldn’t manage my life if I were dead. I started listening to the RE podcast.
[ 38:42 ] How do you feel now?
Jeff – I feel great on most days. It was hard over the holidays and I’ve had to break old traditions that involved alcohol. My wife keeps me accountable and suggested that we make new traditions. The RE podcast helps remind me of where I was.
[ 41:57 ] Rapid Fire Round
********If you want to stay sober, you’ve got to do the work********
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
Send us an e-mail if you would like to volunteer at Hope Rehab in Thailand
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
Shane with 3 days since his last drink, shares his story…..
Paul starts the show off by listing his reasons for quitting drinking:
SHOW NOTES
[ 8:58 ] Paul Introduces Shane. When was your last drink?
Shane – My last drink was on Christmas day (which was 3 days ago at the time of this interview). These past 3 days have been tough. I’ve been doing a lot of sweating.
[ 11:00 ] When did you first realize that you had a problem?
Shane – I received my first DWI when I was 18. That was my first time in jail and it was horrible. When I first starting drinking I thought I had found my soul mate.
[ 13:08 ] Tell us a little about yourself.
Shane – I am 32 years old and from California. I like to play tennis, golf and travel. I like to do anything outdoors. Booze took away the fun I used to have in these activities.
[ 14:26 ] Did you ever try to put rules in place in order to control your drinking?
Shane – You name the rule and I have tried it! I tried to limit myself to specific types of alcohol but would always forget the rule once I started drinking. The best rule you should remember is to just not drink.
[ 17:50 ] What is so different now?
Shane – I did not chicken out when I thought of calling Paul. I try to live in the moment and stay busy. I also try not think too far into the future.
[ 19:45 ] What was your bottom?
Shane – 1 bottom was that I was mentally draining my family constantly. Other bottoms were all of the 4 times I ended up in jail. I was basically blacking out my entire life. Alcohol made me feel like I was going crazy.
[ 24:40 ] You have mentioned a few times how bad going to jail was. Whose fault was it that jail was so bad?
Shane – It was my fault that I had ended up in there. But the guards were really harsh. The other inmates were fine.
[ 25:40 ] What have you lost to alcohol?
Shane – I’ve lost many days of my life and plenty of girlfriends.
[ 26:40 ] What happened this past Christmas day that made you want to stop drinking?
Shane – I’ve wanted to stop drinking for years. It had just become too exhausting to continue.
[ 28:50 ] How have you gotten 3 days so far?
Shane – Right now I do not feel like I am white knuckling it. I am not going to AA. I’ve had bad experiences with church in the past and AA has too much religion in it. Praying to a higher power does not work for me.
[ 31:53 ] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode:
www.alcoholmastery.com (by Kevin O’Hara)
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
Amelia, with 79 days since her last drink, shares her story……
According to the HBO documentary, Risky Drinking, 70% of people drink. Most drinkers fall within the following spectrum: no risk, low risk, mid risk, moderate risk, severe and death. The documentary chronicles 4 people in different stages of alcoholism. If you are drinking to fix the problem that drinking has caused, you may need to watch this program and see where you fall on the spectrum.
SHOW NOTES
[ 10:39 ] Paul Introduces Amelia who’s last drink was on 10/10/16.
[ 11:12 ] Have you had any close calls since you stopped drinking?
Amelia – Not really, although I was pretty irritable during Christmas time. Instead of drinking, I just went to bed.
[ 11:48 ] Tell us a little about yourself.
Amelia – I was born and raised in San Francisco. I am a social worker and work with children in the foster care system. I love to watch baseball games and travel.
[ 13:19 ] When did you realize that you had a problem with alcohol?
Amelia – I started noticing I had a problem approximately 10 years ago, but I was always able to justify my behavior. 79 days ago, I just got sick and tired of being sick and tired!
[ 14:32 ] Did you ever put rules into place to try and moderate your drinking?
Amelia – I would try to drink only at night and on the weekends. After a hard days’ work, I felt like I deserved it. I had not had any bad consequences yet so this helped justify my drinking. Soon I implemented the “it’s 5 o’clock somewhere” mentality.
[ 15:56 ] Did you have a bottom?
Amelia – I was kicked out of the Peace Corp for drinking too much. It was Independence Day in the Caribbean and after drinking all day, I decided that I wanted to go home. I ended up walking 7 miles in the rain back to my apartment with a co-worker. I would also not report to the Peace Corp my location at all times and this was a requirement.
[ 18:42 ] How did you get to 79 days without alcohol?
Amelia – I had a phone call with my parents to wish them a Happy Anniversary. I did not remember the phone call at all the following morning. It was a total blackout. I had asked myself, “Do I really want to be this person?” I called a friend who I trusted and they encouraged me to go to an AA meeting. I felt accountable.
[ 20:21 ] Tell us more about this accountability piece?
Amelia – I had spoken to this same friend about my concerns with alcohol about a year before. I also spoke to my mother. She informed me that she had attended an Al-Anon meeting 1 year ago as well because she too was concerned with my drinking.
[ 22:53 ] What was it like having repeated bottoms?
Amelia – I never thought they were real or deep bottoms. I did not have consequences or anything taken away from me because of my drinking yet.
[ 24:40 ] What do you think would happen if you drink again?
Amelia – It would be just a matter of time before something really bad happened.
[ 26:00 ] What is your plan going forward?
Amelia – So far AA has been working. If I think about drinking, I just follow the drunk all of the way to the end. I am attending the RE Retreat in Montana so that will hold myself accountable. Soon, I would like to start working the steps.
[ 30:12 ] What have you learned most about yourself?
Amelia – that I can be happy and have a better life without drinking.
[ 31:00 ] What advice would you give your younger self?
Amelia – to look at your bottoms and see them for what they really are. I would also listen more to my mother when she told me how alcoholism runs in our family.
[ 33:00 ] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
Erik, with 67 days since his last drink, shares his story….
What exactly is alcohol and how is it created? According to the book, Beyond the Influence, by Katherine Ketcham, the basic ingredient of alcohol is yeast. Let’s just call it what it is; yeast dung to be exact. The yeast eventually dies off during the fermenting process leaving alcohol in its’ basic form, which is ethanol. That’s right folks! We have been consuming the same ingredient that is used in lacquer and dyes. Once we drink, the alcohol quickly passes through our cell membranes and enters the blood stream. Depending on our age, gender, or whether or not we have eaten, etc., alcohol affects us all differently. Beyond just the physically changes, alcohol also affects our emotional state. It has been known to exacerbate anxiety, stress and fatigue by triggering the body to release adrenaline artificially. No wonder those hang overs are so awful!
SHOW NOTES
[ 10:44 ] Paul Introduces Erik and asks when was his last drink?
Erik – 67 days ago and it feels good on most days
[ 11:13 ] Erik tell us a little about himself.
Erik – I am 31 years old and currently live in Dallas. I play and teach music and also enjoy cooking and exercise.
[ 13:42 ] When did you realize you had a problem with drinking?
Erik – After graduating from college, consequences started happening. I had crashed a few cars and received a few DWI’s.
[ 15:11 ] Did you ever try to implement rules in order to moderate your drinking?
Erik – I was not real great at even putting rules into place. But I had an interlock (breathalyzer) put on my car and would try to moderate so that I could still start the car. One time I blew over the limit 3 times. I was more of a binge drinker. Once I started, I could not stop drinking.
[ 17:24 ] After your probation ended, you started drinking again. What happened?
Erik – When you are on probation, I think mentally you are just waiting for the time to be over. Once it is over, you can drink again. I continued to drink for 2-3 years without suffering any real consequences.
[ 19:00 ] Did your drinking progress or remain the same?
Erik – It progressed and I started driving when I shouldn’t be again. I also started experiencing episodes of anger and rage, which was completely uncharacteristic of me.
[ 20:45 ] Erik shares a recent story of a wedding he attended.
Erik – I was running late for a wedding in which I was a groomsman. My mind made this a much bigger deal than it actually was so when I finally arrived, I headed straight to the bar. I stumbled to the service and was late for the photo shoot. I continued to drink and my mood kept deteriorating. After the wedding was over, I went to the after party and eventually blacked out. When I came to, I was in the middle of a brawl with a friend. I was very disappointed in myself and was worried that I had destroyed some friendships.
[ 27:45 ] How did you get to 67 days without drinking?
Erik – I had worked the AA program many years ago and basically got re-plugged in. I reached out to some previous people that I knew in the program, started going to meetings and got a sponsor.
[ 31:00 ] Paul and Erik discuss the gift of desperation
Erik – My last drinking memory was that wedding I attended. I am not sure if I can fix the damage that I did to some of those relationships. I do not want that last memory to define me.
[ 32:00 ] What is your plan moving forward?
Erik – I will continue to work my program, meditate and go to meetings. I would also like to start my own life now, by moving out of my parent’s house and getting back on track.
[ 33:33 ] Rapid Fire Round
****Congratulations to our very own Brandy for reaching 1 year of sobriety****
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Books – Beyond the Influence by Katherine Ketcham and Living Sober by AA
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
Tricia, with 30 days since her last drink, shares her story….
Congratulations Recovery Elevator on 100 episodes! How did we make it to 100 episodes? How else, but one episode (day) at a time.
Problem drinking that becomes severe is often given the medical term alcohol use disorder or AUD. Some interesting studies from the NESARC show that in 2012, 7.2% of the population surveyed had an alcohol use disorder (article found here: www.niaaa.nih.gov/alcohol-health/overview-alcohol-consumption/alcohol-use-disorders.)
Europe also has an organization (the ECA) who conducts alcohol related surveys. They found that although people in Southern Europe drank larger amounts of alcohol, they were able to moderate their drinking. In comparison, there were more alcohol related fatalities in Northern Europe. Could this be because of binge drinking? Perhaps the folks from the South can drink 1-2 glasses of wine with their meal while people from the North are drinking larger quantities in one sitting? We will let the ECA draw that conclusion.
SHOW NOTES
[ 8:23 ] Paul Introduces Tricia who’s last drink was approximately 30 days ago
[ 9:00 ] When did you realize you had a problem?
Tricia – I knew I wasn’t a normal drinker even at the age of 23. I always knew that I would have to quit one day. I never drank just for the taste, it was always to get drunk. Once I started drinking, I could not stop.
[ 11:28 ] Did you ever put any rules in place in order to control your drinking?
Tricia – I tried switching to a drink that I did not like. This never worked and I would end up doing shots of something else. My fellow drinker friends thought this was a great idea! I was always into fitness and nutrition so I would make sure my daily caloric intake would allow for booze.
[ 15:41 ] Tell us about yourself?
Tricia – I am 35 year old chef who now owns her own business. I have always been a runner but also enjoy anything in the outdoors, such as skiing and snowboarding. I like to knit and cross stitch Gangsta Rap lyrics into items for friends. My only hobby before was drinking. I would work and drink. That was it.
[ 19:18 ] Did you have a bottom?
Tricia – I was a high functioning alcoholic. My bottom was very high. I would always pretend that I wasn’t drunk or that I didn’t have a hangover. My motto was, “I’ve Got This.” When I went on a 3 day binger, 30 days ago, I was so hung over that I could even fake it. I had to stay in bed all day. That was the first time I experienced the physical withdrawals of sweating, fever and shaking.
[ 22:15 ] How did you reach the conclusion that you did not have control over alcohol?
Tricia – My friends and I were going out one night and rented a party bus. I was terribly anxious for weeks up until this party. I was afraid I would drink too much and black out. The black outs were getting to be very common. I ended up drinking too much and woke up the next day with bruises all over my legs. I did not remember falling down but obviously it had happened.
[ 24:48 ] Did alcohol play a role in your divorce?
Tricia – there were many other factors but both my ex-husband and I drank. When we fought, we had usually both been drinking. I wasn’t supposed to be the drinker of the family. My brother was the center of attention since he had the alcohol/drug problem for years. I was the over achiever who still managed to get to work on time and function normally. Until I could no longer fake it.
[ 26:56 ] How did you get to day 1 without a drink?
Tricia – I had not planned on stopping drinking entirely. It basically snuck up on me. I had that terrible hangover and the physical withdraw symptoms so I called my brother who is now in recovery. He is very supportive. I went on-line and found the RE podcast and starting listening and hearing similar stories.
[ 30:28 ] What does a day in the life of Tricia look like?
Tricia – I started going to AA meetings. I ended up being late to my first AA meeting because I went to the wrong room. The security officer at the church shouted to everyone that the AA meeting was in the other room. Even though I was 10 minutes late for that meeting, I was really 10 years late in trying AA.
[ 34:51 ] Rapid Fire Round
Paul ends the podcast with some questions for the listeners: What type of role does or did alcohol play in your life? Does alcohol dictate your life? Be honest with yourself.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Paul will be speaking at a “This is My Brave” even on 1/22/17. The event is at the Moss Theater @ 4pm. The address is 313 Olympic Blvd, Santa Monica, CA. Tickets can be found here: www.bfrb.org
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