What I learned in 1 year of podcast is remarkable. It will help me stay sober and I want to thank everyone who has been a part of Recovery Elevator. I really hope you enjoy this summary because I had a great year compiling them.
Value Bombs
What I learned from a year of podcasting about my sobriety.
By Paul Churchill (with Elliot P.)
Podcasting about your sobriety isn’t exactly the best way to stay anonymous. However, after years of struggling to stay sober I was willing to try anything and nothing seemed more powerful than the accountability I’d create by checking in with “the world” every week. So I bought a few simple pieces of recording equipment, signed up for a podcasting service and started talking. I was terrified to release the first episode – it felt like I was jumping off a cliff. I knew my life would never be the same. I was right.
This year has been the best year of my life but strangely, also the hardest. I know what you are thinking, “of course it was the hardest as getting sober isn’t easy” and you’d be right. But there is something especially terrifying about getting sober in front of anyone who wants to watch. I’ve been told that some people thought my podcast would be a train wreck and they were listening for entertainment value. Luckily, so far, I have beaten the odds and probably made this pretty boring for my macabre listeners. My goal is to make this podcast as boring as possible for this demographic of my audience! How is that for a podcasting goal? Really though, I think we have had a lot of fun this year and I’m all for the suspense each week as I sign in, once again, still sober. If I can do it, maybe some of my listeners realize that they can too.
Now I don’t claim to be very smart but the most unexpected part of this journey has been meeting hundreds of listeners who can relate to my story. I honestly felt like I was the only one who suffered exactly like I did. It turns out that alcoholism is ironically a communal disease where everyone afflicted feels isolated. Part of the solution involves finding like-minded people who you can get honest with. Little did I know, just by talking openly into the microphone, this group of like-minded people would come to me. Listenership has grown beyond my wildest dreams. I love you guys.
I’ve been asked what have been the most impactful lessons I’ve learned over this year of podcasting. The beauty of listening to the stories of those I’ve interviewed is that everyone can relate to the stories differently depending upon their place in their sobriety journey. Below is a list highlighting ideas that have meant the most to me:
Scott, an attorney on the east coast, shares how he has reached 2.5 "great" months of sobriety.
Contempt prior to investigation!
Today marks the 51st episode of what started almost a year ago as a way for me to simply hold myself accountable. I made the commitment then to do at least 52 episodes and as I approach this number its hard not to be overwhelmed with the impact this podcast has had on myself and also, unexpectedly, on many of you.
I mean, first off, 51 episodes later, I’m still sober! (1 year, 4 months and 6 days according to my recovery elevator app) – which is a miracle! But I see an unintended consequence is that many of you are also finding ways to stay sober and find happiness in recovery. It’s amazing to see what happens when we all put our minds together!
So for that, and all of you listening, I’m overwhelmed with gratitude. There is rarely a day that I don’t get an email from a listener who shares how touched they are by something one of our guests said on the podcast. I mean there have been over 50 guests who have shared their story and these stories have been downloaded over 160,000 times. The impact of us simply, and honestly, sharing our stories is bringing hope to many who might not have otherwise found it. Please keep sending me emails with your story, I never get tired of reading them even if I don’t have time to respond to every one know that I read every one and cherish them all.
And because of you and your desire to continue the discussions after each podcast we started the private Facebook recovery elevator accountability group. I remember being amazed when we reached 60 members of the group and as I release today’s podcast we are rapidly approaching 450 members with new members being added every day. Its so amazing to see you all in the group sharing your story, asking questions, sharing wisdom and encouragement, checking in on each other and ultimately helping yourself and others stay sober. And it’s because of the things happening in this group that we are in the final stages of setting up an even better platform for us all to interact outside the podcast which will be several regions accountability groups which feed into the community forum.
Its all something I could not have imagined a year ago and it is a testament to the power of what can happen when we get honest and get out of our comfort zone. So, just in case you are wondering, I may get a bit sentimental and maybe even a bit emotional as we approach our 52nd episode but I’m not planning on stopping after our 52nd episode. You guys have stuck with me so I’m staying here and stick’n with you.
You know, after doing today’s interview, I was reminded of one of the most devastating things I’ve noticed during this busy year of podcasting, being interviewed by others and speaking at schools. It is the stigma associated with alcoholism. Because most people don’t even know the definition of who an alcoholic really is, they associate it with the worst stereotypes society has with problem drinkers. Bums under a bridge, domestic violence, liver cirrhosis, drunken driving, weak “will power” and the list can go on. The truth is, I don’t even like to talk about this stigma because it seems to only strengthen it. Heck, it is this stigma, and the repulsion we feel about being associated with this stigma that keep many of us from ever getting help!
The truth is, this stigma is wrong, dangerous, and it needs to change. I’m thinking of coming up with a name for it, like I did for Gary – my addiction. Maybe I’ll name this stigma Stanley. Sure, like any good lie, there may be an element of truth in this stigma but many of the people I’ve met over the last year have lives that in no way resemble this stereotype. I think today’s guest is another good example of this.
Alcoholism, like many of this century’s hot social issues (race relations, women’s rights, gay rights, etc) also suffers from something I like to call “contempt prior to investigation.” For when we really investigate who an alcoholic is we find that there is really only two defining factors: 1) We tend to have a mental obsession that makes it seem impossible to not have that first drink and 2) When we start drinking a physical allergy kicks in and we can’t control our drinking. That’s it. Period. Let me repeat it: 1) We tend to have a mental obsession that makes it seem impossible to not have that first drink and 2) When we start drinking a physical allergy kicks in and we can’t control our drinking. Alcoholism has been defined as a disease by the American Medical Association in 1056 and it does not make person good or bad. Period.
Do you guys want to know the crazy thing about this stigma?!... With all the alcoholics I have spoken with over the last year, and all the non-alcoholics, it is BY FAR the “still drinking alcoholic” who has the most negative association with the word alcoholic. Normal drinkers often see it as a medical issue and one with treatment options. Recovering alcoholics have often worked through the association and seem to have no problem being associated with the term. Ironically, it’s the very people who need the help who have the most negative association with the word.
And if we have done one thing by sharing our stories this year, I hope it is that we’ve helped each of us realize that we are not all that different, and we are not all that bad! In fact, most of us are making amazing and courageous progress in our lives. We are doing the things that, I believe, we will find the most meaningful when reflecting back on our lives from our deathbed. We are making amazing friendships, we are looking at our career not as a job but as a way to serve others, we are learning to love ourselves and we are finding joy. We truly are the lucky ones.
So, it’s simple. It’s not easy. But it’s so simple when you take away the stigma! Stanley, goodbye!
Our guest today, Scott, seems to have this figured out and I love when we talk about how being an alcoholic is only one area of our life and it by no means defines us.
In today’ talk he keeps it simple and he is a man of action. He is a successful lawyer, who has raised a nice family of 4 kids and has been married for over 30 years. By all accounts, looking in, he is living the dream. He is highly functional, very intelligent, and what we call in Montana “a man’s man.” But you will hear him say it: he regrets the “blank memories” or the memories not made while drinking. He is a great, and honorable, person who see’s that drinking has held him back from truly being the person he was designed to be and he is making a change.
So as you listen today, be reminded that you too are on a journey of becoming the person YOU were designed to be. For most of us it happens slowly as we continually take action applying the principles of recovery to our lives. For others, like you will hear today, there can be a profound spiritual experience which kick-starts the process. The key is, that no matter what the catalyst is, we never forget why we march this path of happy destiny. It’s in this mindset and in our daily actions, that we find freedom from the obsession to drink and freedom to become a little more of the person we want to be. I think you will find that today’s guest, Scott, is well on his way.
His story is so inspiring and so full of value bombs it could be a 2 part series! But instead of doing that, I’ll just encourage you to listen to a few powerful themes:
- Without saying it, Scott touches on all three of the first 12 steps in a powerful way.
- Scott is not a “wu-wu” spiritual guy and I cant help but be inspired by how profound spirituality is in his recovery.
- Scott’s journey from “contempt prior to investigation” of alcoholism to now having an acceptance that is super charging his life.
"You Might be an Alcoholic if" - Thank you Megan for compiling these for me on weekly basis.
-You go snow-snorkeling in the nude in Wisconsin. -Christine
-You know you are out of wine so you stop and "borrow" / steal a bottle from your in laws house on the way home. The next day when you go to replace "borrowed" /stolen bottle you get busted in their house and make up some lame story about how you were just looking for your child's coat that he may have left there. -Julie
-The only reason you write the newspaper is to advocate repealing the ban on Sunday alcohol sales. -Jon
-You are a youth elder at Church and decide, not only to drink before driving a van full of middle schoolers around town for a holiday event, but continue to drink while driving. The only reason you do not smoke the pot you have with you is that you did not get the chance. (but did so immediately after!) TY
-You might be an alcoholic if... you use a bar stool as a walker so you don't fall down!
Maggie
Be sure to join the Recovery Elevator Private Accountability Facebook Group.
Be sure to expand your recovery network in and Seattle on February 27th and San Francisco on March 5th. Dates for NYC, San Francisco, Denver Costa Rica and Norway are coming soon.
This episode was brought to you by Sober Nation.
In this podcast episode Cameron shares how he has successfully navigated nearly 6 months of sobriety.
In the early stages of a relationship, I was always terrified of the moment when I had to fess up to why I don't drink. I came up with every answer besides the honest answer which is the simple fact I'm an alcoholic. Below is my Match.com profile summary I created eight days ago. The results of this experiment have been miraculous. 2 years ago I would have been surprised by the results, but knowing my fear was completely irrational, I'm not surprised at all.
Hello, my name is Paul and I'm a recovering alcoholic, I'm extremely allergic to horses, at times I struggle with anxiety, and I have been diagnosed ADHD 4 different times by medical professionals.
You're probably wondering why I would lead off with this enticing intro, but after reading a couple profiles, I couldn't get a real idea of who the gals really were... so by being upfront, honest and transparent, I am saving both of us time.
None of these things truly define me, but this is an honest description of who I am. When I first started writing my profile it contained words like funny, outgoing, motivated, happy, and all the other generic descriptors, which do describe me, but I thought I would tell it straight.
You might be an alcoholic if..
- you walk your dog at night with a glass of beer in your hand!!! -Penni
.you make a trip to the liquor store for beer but forget the grocery store for the much needed milk. -Angela
- You go to pee before bed but realize in horror the next morning that you missed the toilet seat by an entire room. -Jamey
-You misplace things..like a decade -Dee
- The first thing you do in the morning is check your Facebook, email, and call record to see what you may have done the night before! -Kathy
Be sure to join the Recovery Elevator Private Accountability Facebook Group.
Be sure to expand your recovery network in and Seattle on February 27th and San Francisco on March 5th. Dates for NYC, San Francisco, Denver Costa Rica and Norway are coming soon.
This episode was brought to you by Sober Nation.
Colin shares how he has made it to 16 days of sobriety.
I'd like to give a special thanks to Maureen for helping me compile this great list of songs about recovery and getting sober. There are some great artists putting recovery on the map.
10 “God of Wine” - Third Eye Blind. “She takes a drink and then she waits. The alcohol it permeates. And soon the cells give way. And cancel out the day”. Wow, this is so true for me, that feeling that I was wasting my life away when drinking. It also speaks of the frustration of “Where do we begin?” when new to recovery.
Be sure to join the Recovery Elevator Private Accountability Facebook Group.
Be sure to expand your recovery network in and Seattle on February 27th and San Francisco on March 5th. Dates for NYC, San Francisco, Denver Costa Rica and Norway are coming soon.
This episode was brought to you by Sober Nation.
James with 8 days of sobriety shares why he wants to quit.
There was a period of time from around 2004-2014 where I could not look at myself in the mirror. I didn't want to admit it, but I was disgusted with myself. I didn't recognize the person standing there and I didn't know what to do about it. I thought the problem was others, I thought the problem was stress, I thought the problem was anxiety and depression. I definitely wasn't ready to examine the problem could possibly be my ally alcohol. No way. Not at all. That couldn't be the problem. Nope.
It wasn't until I reached emotional sobriety in 2014 when I started to catch glimpses of the real Paul Churchill in the mirror. It didn't happen day one of sobriety. It didn't happen day 30. But like the seasons change, I was eventually able to look myself in the mirror without total disgust. Fast forward to January 18th, 2016. I embrace that man in the mirror. We challenge each other to be better. To make others better and that man in the mirror is my best friend. Here is the poem a football coach read to us in High School.
The Guy in the Glass
by Dale Wimbrow, (c) 1934
When you get what you want in your struggle for pelf,
And the world makes you King for a day,
Then go to the mirror and look at yourself,
And see what that guy has to say.
For it isn't your Father, or Mother, or Wife,
Who judgement upon you must pass.
The feller whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the guy staring back from the glass.
He's the feller to please, never mind all the rest,
For he's with you clear up to the end,
And you've passed your most dangerous, difficult test
If the guy in the glass is your friend.
You may be like Jack Horner and "chisel" a plum,
And think you're a wonderful guy,
But the man in the glass says you're only a bum
If you can't look him straight in the eye.
You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years,
And get pats on the back as you pass,
But your final reward will be heartaches and tears
If you've cheated the guy in the glass.
Dale Wimbrow 1895-1954
"You might be an alcoholic if"
-your spring cleaning meant clearing out the alcohol hiding spots, nooks and crannies to make room for the new ones -Brandy
-you know more about what's happening in your bartender's life, than in your best friend's. -Sarje
-as the sun rises over the curb, you notice you have one shoe on and aren't sure if you lost a shoe or found one. -Frank
-you do your recycling at 2am in the morning so no one will see you. -Claudia
-you don't remember leaving a bar with a guy, wake up at 2am and find a note from a guy you swear you've never met. You text him. You confirm your worst fear. Then start drinking again. -Kelly E.
"If you can't wait to get home from the corner store, so you start drinking your beer while driving home in the car...you might be an alcoholic." -Alvin
Be sure to join the Recovery Elevator Private Accountability Facebook Group.
Be sure to expand your recovery network in Bozeman and Seattle. Dates for NYC, San Francisco, Denver Costa Rica and Norway are coming soon.
This episode was brought to you by Sober Nation.
An article written by the Alaksa Dispatch News titles "Americas are drinking themselves to death at record rates" was recently posted in the Recovery Elevator Private Accountability Group on facebook and I was blown away by what I read.
Here are some of the bullets that I want to point out from the article.
This is huge Recovery Elevator. The first Recovery Elevator meetup will be taking place in Seattle on Saturday February 27th, 2016. Details to come. Email info@recoveryelevator.com for more info on this meetup.
- you feel like you have to hide it from anybody at any time. Bill - Interviewee
-you swish mouthwash to freshen your breath and you notice you cannot taste or feel it... it's like swishing water -Margaret
-at 476 days you are still finding empty beer cans in the garage, workshop, musical equipment cases etc because you were hiding so many empties thinking that you were fooling everyone about how much you were actually drinking. -James P
-you carry the tiny wine bottles in your purse and one falls out when you go to pay for your mani pedi at the nail salon. -Larecia
-you live in a really small tourist town with 3 liquor stores within walking distance and you go in the liquor store to buy your usual, and the clerk offers you the "locals" (read frequent buyer) discount! -Tyrrell
You find a half-empty flask of flavored vodka that you hid under the sink months ago and actually contemplate drinking it, even though you just hit one week sober. -Me
This podcast was brought to you by Sober Nation.
Are New Years resolutions really a good thing? In my opinion, if there is anything in life really worth changing, then waiting till a certain day to make that change seems silly to me. However, if the spirit of the New Year is to create goals and accountability, then I am all for it.
My new years resolution is to quit the gym. I know that sounds really strange but I have gotten way to comfortable with my routine at the gym to the point where I am in the center of my comfort zone circle. Last night I cancelled my gym membership and will be making an effort to to outdoor activities with my dog and use my own body weight for resistance. I'll let you know how it goes.
Here is an outline of what is discussed in today
1) For people thinking of making “stop drinking” a new years resolution:
Resolutions are good and its a great time to start something new. However, alcoholics are experts at making promises (even to ourselves) and then letting ourselves down.
There are thousands of self help books on reaching goals (i.e. tony robbins) but a true alcohol problem requires more than will power and knowledge.
I think we have all made the resolution to stop drinking on new years day - and that is good! But when dealing with addiction, the day doesn’t have much power than the other 364 days a year if we don’t take a few steps to get us on the path to sobriety.
If this is you, I encourage you to save yourself a lot of grief and supplement this resolution with some action such as: attending a meeting (maybe your resolution includes attending at least one meeting a week for a year), telling someone close to you, and maybe even join our private Facebook accountability page and post to the group introducing yourself. Its a lot easier to quit drinking when you are part of a community that cares about you.
2) For people well on their way in sobriety that are making new resolutions:
We are experts at making promises and failing. We are also experts and trying to do things our own way, only to find ourselves humbled as we constantly "bang our head on a wall” hoping the outcome will somehow “be different this time.” I almost want to save myself (and all of you) the agony of defeat by just skipping resolutions this year. However, not trying something is way worse than not trying and failing! What if we tried something and we actually succeeded!
Sobriety can be so fragile in the beginning. Maybe skipping resolutions and just “working your program” is the right move. Without sobriety nothing else in life really matters.
However, if you are at a point in your recovery where your program is working and you still have some energy to spare. Improving other areas of your life can actually strengthen your sobriety.
The key then, is to skip the standard mode of operation (make a big promise and use willpower to try and fulfill it) and instead use some of the tools we have learned in recovery to help turbo charge our progress.
A few ideas:
What tools in your “recovery portfolio” can help you achieve your goals.
Is the resolution necessary and realistic?
Example: quit all sugar vs quit processed sugar. Necessary because regulating or moderating has produced nothing but failure.
Is it measurable:
Lose weight vs, loose 5 lbs every 3 months for a total of 20 pounds in the year.
Can you vision yourself and what it will be like when you achieve the resolution?
How good will you feel! Weight loss and how you will look? Pride from being successful.
What are you doing to hold yourself accountable?
Telling others, scheduled review times, public posting?
Have you laid out the steps necessary to get there?
i.e. learn to fly…. what steps does that take?
This is all good and can really improve our health, happiness and thus sobriety. One thing is for sure, achieving lofty goals were probably not possible when we were drinking! Its okay, its more than okay - its so powerful to do awesome things in sobriety! New years is a good time to expand upon our sobriety by really living. Improving our lives through by achieving resolutions another way we can express gratitude for our sobriety.
This is huge Recovery Elevator. The first Recovery Elevator meetup will be taking place in Seattle on Saturday February 27th, 2016. Details to come. Email info@recoveryelevator.com for more info on this meetup.
Claire
You keep a note pad by the phone so you can take notes about your drunk dialings, but then you can't read your handwriting
You're now sober but want to wear a sign on your shirt that says you are enjoying a piece of gum to merely blow bubbles, not to cover up the vodka smell
Caleb
You buy canned beer so you can hide it in your bag without anybody hearing the glass clinks
Simone
If you log into MyFitnessPal as soon as you wake up...to log in the calories of the 8 double whiskeys you'll be drinking later...to know how much not to eat today.
Shane
If after a night of drinking an entire 26er of scotch, the only thing you can think of is "what am I going to drink today?"
Brian in KC, MO
You might be an alcoholic if it's your turn to be the DD, so before the baseball game you pound beers at the tailgate before the game hoping it carries you through to the end of the game....but then the game gets rained out in the 5th inning and you are still too drunk to drive home.
This episode was brought to you by Sober Nation.
33 year old Autumn, explains how she has been a successful student and a mom in sobriety.
According to an article from the Los Angeles Times, Steve Sarkisian is suing former employer University of California for improper dismissal when he was recently fired as Head Football coach due to his drinking problem. Coach Sarkisian is seeking monies of $30,000,000, which he feels is properly owed to him due to California state laws.
In this Episode Shannon, who is a high bottom drunk explains how she made it to nearly 80 days sober. She mentions she loves Karaoke and you can check out Jimmy Cliff's "I Can See Clearly Now" on YouTube because that's how we both feel these days!
While listening to the Bubble Hour Podcast a few weeks ago on my drive home for Thanksgiving, I heard some great ideas on how to stay sober over the Holidays. One of the segments was how to respond when someone offers you a drink at a Holiday party. I heard from great responses, but none of the answers were the truth. What I have learned in recovery, is the best answer is the truth. The truth is liberating and you will be surprised by the lack of questions you will get after telling someone you don't drink. Most people are happy for you, and encourage your decision to not drink. A small percentage will give you flack, and this is a great way to quickly find out who are not your friends. Another small group will become inquisitive and start asking questions like, how much did you used to drink? Or, why are you not drinking? These people are asking for themselves because they have been questioning their own drinking habit.
But here are 77 additional tips on how to stay sober over the Holidays. I do not claim for this to be a full and comprehensive list, and with certainty, I can predict leaving out some very important ones. But here ya go.
63 ways to stay sober over the Holidays
This is huge Recovery Elevator. The first Recovery Elevator meetup will be taking place in Seattle on Saturday February 27th, 2016. Details to come. Email info@recoveryelevator.com for more info on this meetup.
This podcast was brought to you by Sober Nation.
Ferril from Party Sober clothing, with over 5 years of sobriety shares how has been successful sober entrepreneur.
In Episode 41, I talk about emotional sobriety which is a topic breached with trepidation because fully understanding emotional sobriety is near impossible and I have so much more to learn about it. Also in this episode, I interview Erik from Massachusetts who is doing a great job in recovery working with other alcoholics. He mentioned in his interview that it isn't a requirement to hit rock bottom in recovery, a concept I wasn't familiar with in 2014 when I hit my bottom. The bulk of the content for this episode comes from Elliot P who just reached 2 years of sobriety earlier this month. Way to go Elliot!
Felicia shares how she reached nearly 60 days of sobriety and we check back in with Robert who has been interviewed twice on the podcast.
Paul Joins Shane Ramer from that Sober Guy Podcast, Micheal from the UK and Omar the Shair Podcast and talk about why they got sober.
Douglas Lail with the "Hello My Name Is" project, uses painting to help him stay sober.
Jessica Shares how she made it to 141 days of sobriety!
Anthony from Rise Together, with nearly 3 years of sobriety joins the Podcast.
Robert with 5 days of sobriety joins the podcast again. Robert was previously on episode 17 and he is determined to achieve sobriety.
Jason, with 4 years of Sobriety, climbs a 14,000 + foot peak each year on his sobriety date.
Omar from the Shair Podcast joins the show.
Matthew shares the Smart Recovery program and how counting years of sobriety isn't the best motivation to stay sober.
Tim explains about how Smart Recovery has helped him stay sober
Also in this podcast episode Lindsey shares how she made it out of her first 30 days of sobriety which she was in for over 4 years.
Also in this episode, Jon shares how he reached 103 days of sobriety without AA or a 12 step program. He does however, have his own program in place.