Bianca took her last drink on October 3, 2018. This is her story.
Registration is now open for the 2020’ Recovery Elevator LIVE event, Dancing with the Mind. The event will take place June 11-13 in Denver, CO. You can find more information about our events here.
On today’s episode Paul talks about the process of rediscovering what you like to do, after ditching the booze, and to let it happen organically. He encourages you to engage in activities where you find yourself in a ‘flow state’, or ‘in the zone’. Instead of focusing on new hobbies and fun activities, try to find things where you almost lose yourself.
[7:30] Paul introduces Bianca.
Bianca is 22 years old and is from Austin, TX. She recently graduated from college and is working for a temp agency while she looks for that full time job. Bianca lives with her girlfriend. For fun Bianca spends her time reading and in nature.
[13:40] Give us a background on your drinking.
Bianca didn’t really drink while in high school, but in college she went wild. She tried to moderate during her freshman year by documenting everything she did that involved alcohol. That didn’t work. The following year, 2016, she started doing drugs along with drinking. Bianca does not remember much from her junior year. By the beginning of her senior year (2018) she had a lot of things on her plate and her drinking was still up there.
Bianca says she had a lot of little rock bottoms that finally accumulated into her big rock bottom, which happened on October 3.
[17:40] What happened on October 3?
Bianca and some friends went out to get something to eat. What started out as just one drink escalated to the point that one of her friends took her wallet away from her. They went to a liquor store after that, and Bianca ended up at home, alone, taking shots. She met up with her friends a little later, still sneaking double shots. Bianca stumbled home and after mixing more drugs with the alcohol she passed out. The following morning she woke up hating herself.
[25:00] What was that first month like?
On October 4th Bianca texted the hotline and did what they told her to do, she got rid of her booze and hid her drugs. She says the first few days and nights were tough. She would come home from class and cry. She was having intense nightmares and the shakes. She now feels like she gets a clarity upgrade every 3 months.
[28:10] What was is like getting sober at 22?
Bianca says she actually got sober at 21 and celebrated her 22nd birthday sober. She says it was hard, that there is a big drinking culture in Austin, TX.
[32:00] What was harder, coming out as gay, or as someone with a drinking problem??
Bianca says both were hard. She came out as gay at a very young age. The hard part about telling someone she had a problem with drinking was the shame she felt.
[33:20] What are you working on right now?
Bianca says she is really working on her self-worth and showing up for herself.
[36:20] Have you ever explored why you drank?
Bianca said she has explored that with her therapist. She says growing up her family fell into the victims, of victims, of victims. She wasn’t taught very good coping skills.
[39:20] Rapid Fire Round
That I’m responsible for my recovery and nobody else.
The ability to really feel my emotions and to be surprised.
Definitely my sponsor, for sure. Meetings and AA literature.
Travel overseas sober.
I would tell you all to slow down, as slow as you can go, and to feel your emotions.
You might need to ditch the booze if...
You buy over $200 worth of alcohol and it is confiscated within 3 days by a good friend.
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Resources mentioned in this episode:
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