DeeDee took her last drink May 5, 2020. With 91 days away from alcohol, (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol free (AF).
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Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding the Better You…..
After watching the Social Dilemma on Netflix Odette has some thoughts about social media and its place in our lives. She wants us to continue to protect our energy and set boundaries.
[11:37] Odette introduces DeeDee.
DeeDee lives in Santa Barbara, California and is 29 years old. She lives with her finance and their 2 dogs. For work, DeeDee is the Director of Development for a non-profit. For fun she’s trying to figure that out still, but recently she’s begun crafting again and making candles.
[15:50] Can you give listeners some background on your drinking?
DeeDee grew up being aware of alcohol because alcoholism runs in her family. Her father got sober 14 years ago. She didn’t drink a lot in high school. When she turned 21, she drank to fit in, but even then, didn’t really like alcohol. In the beginning of 2013, she noticed that she drew a correlation between being loved and being intoxicated. Her partner at the time only expressed love when he was drunk. In 2017 DeeDee realized she was drinking alone. In 2018/2019 she dabbled in sobriety for short periods of time. She got engaged in late 2019 and they used that excuse for more drinking to “celebrate”.
[22:11] Did you ever connect the dots of alcohol being a problem in your family and your own drinking?
DeeDee said she was in denial for a lot of it. She didn’t know a lot of women who had problems with alcohol, so she rationalized that it was only the men in her family who had a problem.
[23:38] Did you and your finance decide together to quit drinking?
DeeDee said they came to the conclusion of quitting drinking on their own, but also at the same time. During early sobriety they both experienced different things and she has learned how to set different expectations based on their own individual experiences.
[26:28] Tell me about the last 90 days.
DeeDee said in the beginning she was very focused on how to live a sober life and what that was going to look like for her. She was seeing changes in her thought patterns. DeeDee focused on finding out why she is the way she is. After a month or so, she began to try and find balance in her life and her recovery.
[31:17] How did the conversation go with your father when you told him you weren’t drinking?
DeeDee said it happened on May 5th 2020. He’s been incredibly supportive. The conversation was very matter of fact and easy for her. Both her parents were there, and they met her with understanding.
[32:52] What do you do when you get a craving?
DeeDee said she has more emotional cravings then physical cravings. Seeing people with a glass of wine on a patio on a Friday afternoon makes her want that feeling, not the wine. That connection and relaxation is what she’s looking for. Now she plays the tape forward, knowing that it will not ever just be one glass of wine. Instead now she chooses a different action, be it a walk or a podcast or ice cream.
[36:47] What’s your favorite AF drink now?
DeeDee said sparkling water and also making a fun mocktails.
[38:54] What you been able to identify any emotional triggers?
DeeDee said she’s learned that she has emotional triggers when she’s feeling had a difficult day or moment. She wants to sit on the couch and feel like the alcohol is helping her unwind. Leaning her emotions are temporary has been huge.
[41:46] Have you gotten any pushback from people?
DeeDee said she started posting on an Instagram account she had that was mostly filled with followers she didn’t know in real life. It was easier for her to open up and share, giving her confidence to move onto people in her real life. It was liberating when she decided to post on her “real” account where she was followed by people in her real life. She received awesome feedback and responses.
[45:57] Rapid Fire Round
In this moment, exactly where you are, you are enough.
The opposite of addiction is connection and how true this statement is.
Getting married and starting a life together and doing it without booze.
Chocolate chip cookie dough
Recovery Elevator podcast, Recovery Happy Hour podcast, AA meetings, therapy.
You may have to say adios to booze...
If the first time you’ve ever been honest with a doctor about the amount your drinking AFTER you decided to stop.
Odette’s challenge this week:
Take inventory of the relationship you have with your smart phone. Be honest. Make a small list of boundaries you can put in place. Baby steps add up and came impact change.
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