Kyle took his last drink on May 31 2020. With 82 days away from alcohol (at the time of this recording), this is his story of living alcohol free (AF).
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Odette’s weekly installment of: Finding Your Better You
Sometimes we get stuck. When Odette gets stuck, she repeats this simple phrase to herself. “Please help me see things differently.” Being shown the same scenario through a different lens helps to shift the perspective. Different questions help to see things in a new way and get unstuck. If you’re feeling stuck are you asking yourself the wrong questions?
[7:44] Odette introduces Kyle.
Kyle is 33 years old and from Michigan. He is married and has three young daughters. He works in the automotive industry as a program manager. For fun he’s been planning the future with his wife, he also likes gaming and running.
[10:49] Can you give listeners some background on your story?
Kyle said the first time he got drunk was when he was 14, but he didn’t notice a change in his drinking until he was in his 20s. He was taking on a lot at the time and failing a lot at things. He looked to beer to take the edge off which turned into drinking to black out every night. He tried quitting many times and this stretch is the longest he’s gone in 10 years.
[13:37] When did you notice you were using alcohol to cope?
Kyle said he realized this subconsciously early on but was trying to quit on willpower alone. He figured out the price for alcohol and the euphoria it brought was higher than he was willing to pay. Alcohol stopped being enjoyable at the end because he was just chasing something.
[17:25] What happened when you returned from Japan and you realized you couldn’t shake it?
Kyle said rock bottom wasn’t one individual thing. He realized he was letting his wife and kids down often. He would wake up ashamed. During a conversation with his wife, she mentioned a friend who worked with people with addiction issues. Kyle was given some reference material. He found other like-minded people and that’s really what helped him.
[21:23] Tell me about your attempts to stop drinking.
Kyle said he feels like he’s been in a fog for the last 10 years. He had a lot of vision and no energy. Every time he woke up and swore off alcohol, but 3 pm that day he was ready to drink. There was a lot of mental back and forth he experienced. He sees now that was only will power without understanding the science behind it.
[23:23] What was your mental headspace when you were trying to quit?
Kyle said he lacked a lot of self love, so he was frustrated with himself all the time. He had a good façade and came off as confident, but he wasn’t the person he wanted to be internally.
[24:15] How has this time been different for you?
Kyle said he is seeking help. Also, his family is a big influence about getting sober. He knows he will be there for them.
[25:16] What do you do when you get a craving?
Kyle said he sits with it and he thinks about the morning after, his future and what the drink can lead to.
[27:30] How has staying away from alcohol affected your anxiety & depression?
Kyle said it’s still there, but it’s not as severe. He now knows that drinking wont erase them and he deals with them.
[29:44] What does a day in the life of Kyle look like?
Kyle said it’s mainly juggling his career and his family.
[29:44] What does a day in the life of Kyle look like?
Jason said he makes amends a lot. He gives himself permission to be imperfect and to circle back. He practices and allows room for mistakes to happen. Being compassionate with himself. He also applies the ABCs
[30:10] Do you have any rituals in place to help you deal with cravings?
Kyle said he likes to keep his hands busy. He does see he’s more focused on the things he loves.
[37:16] Have you noticed a difference in your relationship with your wife?
Kyle said his wife really let him do what he needed and didn’t get in the way of him discovering his own path to sobriety. He has thanked her for letting him discover sobriety in his own way.
[41:20] Do you have any specific routines during the day / morning routine?
Kyle said he used to but now not really. He does try to find time to exercise because it’s a stress release. If he has extra time, read a book.
[43:43] Have you noticed your sleep has improved?
Kyle said living away from alcohol has improved his sleep. He used to drink to knock himself out. He’s noticed it’s much better now.
[44:43] Rapid Fire Round
Show yourself a little self love and try to understand the science behind why you drink.
Coffee, he’s trying to find a good energy drink.
If you haven’t tried it and you’re thinking about it, just try it. Try to understand it.
You may have to say adios to booze if...
you mention this question to your wife because you’re struggling to come up with an answer and she gives you a list of ten.
Odette’s parting words:
Thank you. After many day 1s, she’s celebrating 2 years sober this week.
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