RE 97: Cognitive Dissonance | Your Addiction In Your Own Voice

Bubba, with 1 year since his last drink, shares his story.

SHOW NOTES

Cognitive dissonance = the state of having inconsistent thoughts, beliefs, or attitudes, especially as relating to behavioral decisions and attitude change.  “First they ignore you, than they laugh at you, than they fight you, than you win.”  Sobriety is measured one day at a time and if we take it slowly, we will be the winner.  Tell your addiction this quote, over and over again.  Our minds keep telling us the tricky stories that keep us drinking.  This is exhausting.  It’s like holding 2 conflicting beliefs.  How can we break through these conflicting beliefs?   Hang out with people that are on the same path as you.  Educate yourself.  Read, read, and read some more.

 [ 8:51] Paul Introduces Bubba.

Bubba has been sober for 1 year and he’s feeling great.  He had been drinking so long that he did not realize just how much it was affecting his life until he quit.  He enjoys photography, the outdoors and riding his Harley.  He has also lost approximately 46 pounds during this past year.

[12:04] When did you realize you had a problem with alcohol?

Bubba – one of my earliest memories was when I came out as gay at the age of 29.  I thought that I wouldn’t drink as much since I no longer had that stress.  I thought it would be the magic switch but I still continued to drink.  About 4 years ago, I started to try and moderate.  This did not work.  For the next 2 years I was always telling myself that I could drink that night and stop the following day.

[14:14] What was your bottom?

Bubba – one day I starting drinking at 6am and just kept going.  Instead of going to bed, I continued moving from bar to bar and did not make it to work.  The next day I woke up and was officially done.  My journey had started.

[16:35 ] What were some of the rules you tried to put in place in order to moderate your drinking?

Bubba – I’m not going to drink during the week and this will satisfy my desire to drink.  My drinking voice had become so strong that it just over rode any common sense.  My conscience mind knew I was doing something wrong, but my un-conscience mind wanted to continue drinking

 

[17:45 ] What were you feeling that day after your all night drinking bend?

Bubba – I was so hungover it was unbelievable.  I had just had enough and couldn’t take it anymore. 

[20:00] How did you stay sober during that first month?

Bubba – I listened to RE podcasts back to back.  That really kept me going that first week.  I kept telling myself to try for another week, and then try again for another week.  I had to keep convincing myself that I was not going to drink.  I had friends wondering why I wasn’t at the bar.  These are no longer my friends.  They were just my bar friends.

[21:56] How does it feel to be so open about being gay as well as open about being in recovery?

Bubba – feels fantastic!!  Being so open helps me to be accountable.  My friends and family all know what I am doing and it helps keep me sober.  Defining myself as an alcoholic was surprising to some people since I was just known as a heavy drinker.  I knew that I had a problem and that was the important thing. 

[25:00 ]  Describe your relationship with your grandmother

Bubba – I was self- medicating for the pain that my grandmother made me feel.  She was able to make you feel horrible very easily.  Constant little digs.  I would try to avoid being with her which caused tension among family members.  At some point you have to learn to just let it go.

[27:45 ] What are your recovery tools now?

Bubba – keeping myself busy, workout every day, spend quality time with my friends.  I also utilize what other Café RE members are doing and saying. 

[ 29:57 ] Rapid Fire Round

1. What was your worst memory from drinking?  Waking up in my lazy boy covered in beer too many times
2. Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment? Whenever I would wake up the next morning and say to myself, “Oh shit, I drank too much last night.”
3. What’s your favorite resource in recovery? Café RE, I’m trying to also integrate AA meetings into my life
4. What is your plan moving forward? Continue to do what I do, maybe more charity work, trying to be helpful to others, and just keep moving on
5. What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)? You are the only 1 who can force yourself not to drink everyday
6. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking? Stick with it, it does get better, things that you do not even know are wrong now will correct themselves
7. You might be an alcoholic if….. you slam 6 beers before you go to the bar because you do not want to have to wait once you get there.

“Spread your Wings and Fly – Focus on What You Can Do”

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Book of the month = The Untethered Soul by Michael A Singer

Connect with Cafe RE

• For $12.00 per month, you can unlimited, private access to groups of like-minded people via in-person meetups, unsearchable Facebook groups, and travel.
• First month FREE with Promo Code Elevator.

Promo Code: Elevator

 

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to [e-mail]

 

 

 

“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”