These 4 Strategies will help us get through any social situation. Will power can only last us so long.
Neal, with 20 months since his last drink, shares his story
SHOW NOTES
[8:20] Paul Introduces Neal. I am in my late 50’s. I have 2 boys, 2 grandchildren. I do maintenance work, I like to go camping and spend time with our granddaughter who lives with us.
[11:50] Paul- In 1990, was your wife leaving you what got you sober?
Neal- Yes. I was driving a taxi in Seattle at that time. The AA world convention came to town. It was a huge emotional relief. I cried throughout the whole event.
[16:06] Paul- Let’s back it up to 2008 when you took that first drink after 18 years of sobriety. Can you walk us through that?
Neal- The pressures, and there were times I would tell my wife to bring home a 6 pack of beer. One day she finally did. It took 6 months for me to ramp up to where I was after that.
[25:04] Paul- Curiosity is killing the cat, what was the reason?
Neal- I had to go on Antabuse in November of 2015. I had to go to the pharmacy and take the white pill. Antabuse and alcohol do not mix.
[29:43] Paul- With nearly 20 years of sobriety logged, do you still get cravings, and if you do still get them, what do you do?
Neal- I don’t get any cravings. Like I said, on that day when I read the obsession, the cravings, it was all lifted, it’s gone. I try to remain calm. Step back and take a deep breath. I try to reflect how they affect me.
[33:34] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code opportunity to waive the set up fee.
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
“We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude.” – Cynthia Ozick
What is gratitude, and how can this help us get and stay sober? Service and Gratitude go hand in hand.
Here’s Paul’s Holiday challenge:
Write 10 things you are grateful for 10 days in a row. Be thankful for something you totally have taken for granted your entire life. After 10 days when you have 100 items listed, review the list, and look for reoccurring themes. Email your completed lists to Paul@recoveryelevator.com
Dan, with 66 days since his last drink, shares his story
SHOW NOTES
[8:10] Paul Introduces Dan. I live a town called Guildford, about 30 minutes outside of London, I have 2 boys named Sebastian and Felix who are 4 and 7 years old, I live with my girlfriend, together we have 4 kids under the age of 9. For fun I enjoy working out, going to the gym, swimming, and desperately trying to learn to play guitar. I work in primary schools, and I deliver health and fitness workshops.
[15:58] Paul- 66 days ago, was this your first attempt at quitting drinking?
Dan- In all honesty, this is my very first attempt at stopping drinking. One time 10 years ago, I quit drinking for January and February. I don’t want to spend the money; I don’t want to feel crap. I want to set the example for my children growing up.
[23:00] Paul- Earlier you said you look at sobriety like a challenge, are you looking at this as an incredible opportunity?
Dan- Yeah, I am. After reading Alan Carr’s book, and Annie Grace’s book, it just puts things in perspective. You never used to have to have to have a bottle wine or beer to have fun, or enjoy yourself. The way I sleep the past couple of months. You feel so much better the way you start your day.
[28:02] Paul- What’s on your bucket list in sobriety?
Dan- At this point in time I really want to focus on my business, and my work. I would really love to do something on YouTube, or something that is focused on the positive of giving up alcohol.
[33:43] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode:
"This Naked Mind" - Annie Grace
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Opportunity to waive set up Fee
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
Paul discusses reverse interventions. They, “normal drinkers” don’t get it. How can we expect normal drinkers to understand what we are going through? What do you need to cover in a reverse intervention? Let them know this isn’t easy for you. Having the real conversation and being vulnerable. Lay out your game plan. Accountability is key.
Amy, with 11 years since her last drink, shares her story
SHOW NOTES
[11:40] Paul Introduces Amy. I’m 54, a Midwestern housewife. I have two grown sons, and husband of 34 years. What I do for fun has changed quite a bit over the years. I enjoy recovery, and spending time with my 4 dogs.
[23:35] Paul- You said when you finally discovered you had alcoholism, you started to recover. What is your definition of alcoholism?
Amy- My last drunk I ended up hospitalized. I didn’t believe you could drink enough to kill yourself. But I came real close. My husband found me, and got me to the hospital, or I would have died from alcohol poisoning. My doctor told me I had alcoholism. They handed me a meeting list, and I immediately started going to 12 step meetings. I finally felt like I landed on the planet I belonged in that I was seeking for 43 years.
[27:02] Paul- What did it feel like when you finally found your herd, you found your tribe?
Amy- It so radically changed my life. My husband calls me his second wife without the paperwork. I didn’t interact with society. I now seek out social situations. I have more friends than I can handle.
[33:25] Paul- Amy you mentioned something earlier you said “Give up the mind fight.” Tell us more what it meant for you to give up the mind fight.
Amy- When I heard a man say two things. I knew it was true. I can drink; I can drink with the best of them. I can’t say I can drink safely. The other one I heard was once I take the first drink; I have no control over my decisions, or where it will take me next.
[43:33] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Brenaim1@yahoo.com (Amy’s email)
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
Paul discusses Step One: “ We admitted that we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable.” from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.
David, with 46 days since his last drink, shares his story
SHOW NOTES
[10:20] Paul Introduces David. I’m a dad of 2 great boys aged 11, and 7. We live in Atlanta. I work at a software firm. I have been there for quite some time. I’m 42, and divorced. For fun there is a lot of baseball, I help coach basketball. Both my boys are in scouts. I love to play and collect guitars.
[12:52] Paul- When did you realize that perhaps you didn’t drink normal?
David- I have several memories of self-questioning my drinking habits going back a decade. I have milestones in my life I questioned my drinking.
[29:02] Paul- You are identifying yourself as a non-drinker. Have you experienced a different case of the F-its like I have 3 years of sobriety, F-it, I might as well keep moving forward?
David- I love this concept, I have not felt this feeling of you have come this far, you might as well keep going. I feel like that day is going to come. You have to be hopeful for the future. I am doing this. You have to balance that with healthy caution around relapse. I can be proud, I can be hopeful, but I have to be cautious.
[34:28] Paul- I know from the retreat you met a lot of people who have the same life goal, how has that affected you moving forward?
David- I described it when I started this journey. I didn’t have any tools. I had no institutional knowledge of what I was getting myself into. It was through your podcast I was introduced to AA in a meaningful way. What I learned from the retreat is that this is something where community helps.
[39:23] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Alcoholics Anonymous- Big Book
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”