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Recovery Elevator

It isn't a no to alcohol, but a yes to a better life! On the Recovery Elevator podcast, you'll learn from guests that life after alcohol is much better and it's an opportunity of a lifetime. Paul, Season 1 and Odette, Season 2, cover topics such as, does moderate drinking work, does addiction serve a purpose, what happens to the brain when we quit drinking, should you track sobriety time, is AA right for you, what the hell is spirituality, what this journey looks like, how science and spirituality are merging and what that means for addiction treatment, we talk about emotions and how to deal with them without alcohol, cravings, we talk about relapse aka "field research," how to build that in-person community and burning the ships! Similar to other recovery podcasts like This Naked Mind, the Shair Podcast, and the Recovered Podcast, Paul and Odette discuss a topic and then interviews someone who is embarking upon a life without alcohol.
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Now displaying: June, 2021
Jun 28, 2021

Episode 332 – Find More Joy

 

One of the biggest things that kept me drinking as I long as I did was that shame circle.  I would drink, do something stupid, embarrass myself, feel terrible and then drink again because I couldn’t handle my feelings. 

 

Brett is 27 years old, lives in San Francisco, CA and took her last drink on January 2, 2020.  This is her journey of living alcohol free (AF).   

 

If you love our intro and outro music then check out the artist DJ NYE on Spotify, and that link is in the show notes. Also in the show notes are links to download, for free, our intro and outro music, That’s with my voice sampling and ET Tolle’s voice samplings.

 

DJ NYE on Spotify.

 

Intro and Outro Music.

Intro Paul: https://traffic.libsyn.com/secure/recoveryelevator/RE_Paul_Intro.mp3

Intro Eckhart Tolle: https://traffic.libsyn.com/secure/recoveryelevator/RE_ET_Intro.mp3

Outro Paul: https://traffic.libsyn.com/secure/recoveryelevator/Paul_RE_Outro.mp3

Outro Eckhart Tolle:https://traffic.libsyn.com/secure/recoveryelevator/Eckhart_Tolle_Outro.mp3

 

 

Today is June 28th. This Thursday, July 1st, is the start date of our intensive 13 session course for the month of July. We meet three times per week, Monday, Thursday and Sunday. Mondays and Thursdays are classroom style format, with intimate breakout rooms and Sundays are for guest speakers, Q&A, and we’ve for an AF Beverage workshop hosted by Kate (episode 315). We polled previous course participants and 72% of them remained alcohol free for the duration of our last course. How cool is that. You’ll have course assignments and daily discussion prompts in your WhatsApp groups. This course is all about connection and having fun. Go to Recoveryelevator.com/restore or click the link in the show notes, to sign up and for more info.

 

And don’t forget that land tortoises are the longest living animals on the planet and that TIB is still the best band in the world. One of those is fact, the other opinion but for the most part undebatable.

 

 

Okay, let’s get started -

 

I’m going to cover two things today. 1. The importance of purposefully adding more joy into your life and 2. Recently while traveling, I came across the most vicious sports mascot ever. I still get goosebumps when I think of the deadly mascot.

 

Okay, let’s talk about joy. And this may seem like common sense, but it’s not because so many of us postpone, skip, or have forgotten about joy altogether. Like the “how to” part.  And now seems like a good time to insert a quote about joy.

 

“Joy does not simply happen to us - we have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day.” - Henri Nouwen

 

Let’s look at a sample to do list.

  1. Drop package off at post office.
  2. Return mortgage papers to lender
  3. Take Ben to Vet
  4. Edit website copy for upcoming event.
  5. Play piano.

 

Now this may or may not be my to do list,  and yours may be similar,  And I’m referring to the order. I’ve got playing the piano last. We tell ourselves we need to get all the grown-up tasks done first. Kids, job, house, feeding the family, pets, why didn’t my sprinklers turn on last night, then last on that list is US.

 

Here’s my HARD ask of you. Make a point to do something every day that you find joyful. And here’s the important part. Do it first. Before all the other stuff that has the potential to zap all the creative energy out of you.

 

About 3 months ago, I stared taking piano lessons. I went from chop sticks to now I can the Scientist and Clocks on the piano by Coldplay. Can’t sing them yet because that’s some major rubbing your tummy and patting your head type sh$t, but I’m working on it. At first, I would practice piano at the end of the day, when my mind was sometimes ready for a nap, and the mind is in high beta brain waves… borderline stressed from the day.   It worked, but some days I had to force it. Then I flipped the to-do list. I started playing the piano first thing in the morning. Before all the adulting took place. Here’s what I found. When we do something we enjoy, there’s a natural creative energy that arises, that makes things tolerable, even pleasant. Here’s the important part. This energy, consciousness, will then overlap into the next task or project. I quickly found I was more effective at all remaining tasks for the day, and they all became more joyful. So, I try to practice piano or music every morning. This flip has had a big impact on my quality of life.

 

Let’s tie this into sobriety. When we are doing something we enjoy, we enter into a flow state where time and our problems seem do disappear. Flow states, or when we are fully mentally immersed in a task, are healthy because we aren’t thinking about how the F, we’re going to quit drinking. Another way to say this, is the neural connections that fortify an addiction begin to soften and something else is strengthened, be it gardening, reading, hiking, or whatever. Again, our mental energies aren’t “in” the addiction, or the “story.” You’re like - “A crap, this guy is back with his getting out of the story stuff again.” And for the record, this will be the 245th time I’ve said you can’t think yourself out of an addiction.

 

Joy solo is great, for example playing the violin. But if you have the option, play the violin with another violinist, or a cellist - bonus points.

 

You know how most dogs are a nudge away from playing? That’s how human beings are as well, we’re just living a life that’s been filled with so much muck and noise that we must make a point, and effort to get back to this natural state.

 

If you’re like, “Hey Pablo” I recently quit drinking, and I have no clue what I like to do for fun anymore. Well, that’s the work. Find out again. Rule 22. Have fun and lighten up.

 

Okay, one more thing I want to cover, and I’m trembling with fear while I write this. On my way back from our Atlanta Meet-up, thank you Alan (episode 267) for such an awesome weekend, I saw a bunch of large dudes, in the security line at the airport. They were all wearing matching jackets,  and sweatpants, so I assumed they were part of a sports team that probably involves physical contact. On the crest of the jacket was the logo… the mascot. When I finally saw it, I stopped dead in my tracks. It was as if I was frozen, unresponsive. No, it wasn’t a ferocious eagle, hawk, wolf, shark, or bear, it something much worse, much deadlier, something that would perhaps cause the other team to not even take the field. I can image players on the other team saying, my uncle died from that beast,  their mascot has destroyed my family, and so forth. So, what’s the mascot? It was Martini glass. It was the professional Los Angeles Rugby team “The Giltinis.” If you want to pick a mascot that leaves a devastating wake of wreckage on society,  well then, they nailed it, because my google search of has an “eagle” or “hawk” ever killed a human being, came up with nil. But alcohol on the other hand….

 

Okay, now let’s here from Betterhelp and then we’ll here from Brett.

 

Today’s show is sponsored by Better Help. 

 

Mental health matters, and as we continue to live through this pandemic and slowly go back to resuming activities such as going back to work or attending some social gatherings, it’s important to have someone that can help us process all our emotions and life stressors. Betterhelp will assess your needs and match you with your own licensed professional therapist. Betterhelp provides a broad range of expertise available which may not be locally available in many areas. The platform is super easy to navigate - you can login into your account at any time and interact with your counselor by sending them a message. You’ll get timely and thoughtful responses, plus you can schedule weekly video or phone sessions. Betterhelp is more affordable than the traditional offline counseling and financial aid is available.

 

Visit betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR and join the over 500,000 people talking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. Recovery Elevator listeners get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR

 

 

 

[10:38] Odette introduces Brett.

 

Brett took her last drink on January 2, 2020. 

 

[11:07] How are you feeling?

 

Brett says she is feeling good.  Drinking feels like a very long time ago in a good way.

 

[11:40] Give us a little background on you.

 

Brett is originally from Rhode Island, but currently lives in San Francisco.  She is in tech consulting.  She is 27 and in a relationship.  She loves going to the Farmer’s market, reading non-fiction, NA drinks, attending to her MANY plants and she hopes to adopt a dog this year. 

 

[13:04] Tell us about your history with drinking

 

Brett had her first drink at 12 or 13 and was pre-gaming with her sister for her high school senior prom.  Her sister and a friend were drinking a clear liquid and laughing and getting a bit gigglier. She looked up to her sister, she was so cool, and Brett wanted to be part of the crowd.   At 14-15, alcohol became a social thing.   She went to a small Quaker school and early exposure to alcohol came from older siblings. Peer pressure was a big thing. Alcohol was a staple at all the parties. 

 

Brett thought everyone was blacking out and it wasn’t until age 21 that she understood you could drink without blacking out.  Her parents would pick her up from parties, then ground her and make her write essays on alcohol, how it was made, where it came from, etc. 

 

[16:41] Where was your heart and your emotional state?

 

Brett said the cycle of shame kept her drinking for a long time.   She would drink, do something stupid, embarrass herself, feel terrible and then drink again because she couldn’t handle her feelings.  She was going through a lot as a kid and has since been diagnosed as bipolar 2.  She was experiencing all those symptoms as a kid and didn’t know what to do with them.  She was scared and wondering what was wrong with her, but not sure what.  She was also rebellious.

 

Value Bomb – Emotional regulation is something we don’t learn about early enough.

 

[19:34] What happened after high school?

 

Brett said during her junior year, her dream was to get as far away from Rhode Island as possible (a geographic).  She applied to Hawaii Pacific University but ended up at Loyola in Baltimore because nobody from her school was going there.  It was the party school and Brett had a fake ID and she was the party girl.  She had good friends, nothing bad happened and she achieved a 4.0 GPA.  She transferred to Northeastern and found a good group of drinking friends.  She had her first depressive episode and called her mom during  a complete panic attack.  The school psychiatrist suggested she had bipolar 2.  She was in denial.  She tried to manage her ups and downs with alcohol and cocaine.  She really hurt some people during her episodes and needs to make amends.

 

[23:02] Can you walk us through what a bipolar cycle is like for you?

 

Brett said, bipolar is difficult to diagnose for many reasons and it presents differently for different people.  Her alcohol and cocaine use augmented the ups and downs and made diagnosis more challenging.  Brett’s experience was feeling exhausted, tired, and unable to get out of bed.  She would rather pee in a cup than go to the bathroom.  She had muscle soreness and lots of tears, crying for no reason.  Suicidal ideation would come 2-3 days in, and she would circle a drain of worthlessness.  The booze turned the dial up and made the episodes longer. She also had blips of hypomania including high bursts of energy, talking fast and urgent shopping among other things.  She wasn’t ready to hear about her diagnosis, but had challenges functioning and felt shame and guilt as a result.  She went to a dual-diagnosis rehab, which was very freeing for her.

 

[28:36] What led you to rehab?

 

Brett said she frequently texted her family members accusing them of not loving or caring about her.  In 2020, she messaged her parents, and her parents became alarmed.  Her mom called, bought her a plane ticket, and offered to come pick her up.  Her Mom was researching rehab programs.  Brett had severe withdrawal symptoms and called the rehab to understand the rules.  She described getting to the airport 12 hours early because she had no concept of time.  She did go to the ER to address her withdrawal symptoms.  A few days later they were in the car on the way to a rehab in Massachusetts. 

 

Brett said the life she built for herself in 15 months of sobriety is what she always wanted when she was drinking and using.  She had been drinking and using for 15 years.  She appreciates how wild, weird, and wonderful that is.

 

[34:20] How long were you in rehab?

 

Brett said for two weeks, and she would go back if she could.   The food was amazing, and the staff was talented and supportive.  She said it saved her life and she enjoyed most of it.  Insurance only covered two weeks.  Brett wondered why things had to get so bad that she to put her life on hold to get better.  Figuring out the fundamental things has prompted her to check in with herself daily.  She said we can’t be afraid to prioritize ourselves. 

 

[40:00] How was leaving rehab and what was it like for the next 30 days?

 

Brett said after treatment she went home to her parents’ home for over a month.  She took time away from work and it was a safe bubbled space.  She explored AA and Smart Recovery meetings.  She returned to work part time.  Upon returning to San Francisco, she entered her bedroom and the whole room was in shambled.  There were bottles and mess everywhere because she was in a blackout when she left.  It was hard, but not triggering.  She took it slow and found a therapist and a psychiatrist.  After the pandemic hit, she turned to Instagram.  She found Carla and Sober IRL (https://www.soberirl.com/) and that kickstarted her desire to stay sober.   She continued the medications that were prescribed at rehab and the medication journey was a short one. 

 

[43:30] What tools worked for you?

 

Brett said in the beginning fear of withdrawal was a huge motivator.  As she got more time, AA meetings, podcasts (Café RE and Recovery Happy Hour), reading (This Naked Mind, The Four Agreements) and the Instagram community helped.  Brett said when you put yourself out there, people take you into their arms and help you find your people. 

 

[46:36] What helped you overcome cravings?

 

Brett said she didn’t have any physical cravings.  The itchiness with herself can be triggering and she learned to play the tape forward in rehab.  She leverages her sponsor, exercise, and leverages TIP exercises (https://dialecticalbehaviortherapy.com/distress-tolerance/tipp/) and baths/showers and cries.  Saying out loud she wants a drink and getting it out of her head gives it less power. 

 

[49:42] What is your favorite NA beverage?

 

Brett said her current favorite is the Mikkeller Limbo Raspberry NA beer.

 

[53:10] Rapid Fire Round

 

  1. If you could talk to your younger self, what would you say.

I’m proud of you, it’s going to be okay.

 

  1. What’s a lightbulb moment

Sleep is restful

 

  1. What’s an unexpected perk of being sober?

More money, disposable income

 

  1. What’s your favorite ice cream flavor?

Ben & Jerry’s Tonight dough

 

  1. What parting piece of guidance do you have for listeners?

Just do it, you are worth it! 

 

You may have to say Adios to booze if …

You have accumulated so much debt, you must Venmo borrow from yourself to get alcohol. 

 

Odette’s Summary

 

Odette reflects upon a recent reading of Gabor Mate where he says, ‘we continue to treat people who struggle with addiction poorly.  If you think about it, addiction is not a problem.   Addiction is a solution to a problem: our trauma, our suppressed emotions, our unhealed pain.’  Odette is grateful that Recovery Elevator is part of the solution.  We see you and we are here for you.  It all starts from the inside out.  

 

Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:

  • Bozeman 2021 (August 18-22, 2021) registration opens March 1! This is our flagship annual retreat held in the pristine forests of Big Sky Country, 10 miles south of Bozeman, Montana. During this 5-day event, you’ll discover how to expand the boundaries of your comfort zone.
  • You can find more information about our events 

 

Affiliate Link for Endourage:

For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout. 

 

Affiliate Link for Amazon:

Shop via Amazon using this link.

 

The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!  

 

Resources: 

Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.

Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!

Sobriety Tracker iTunes 

 

 

“Recovery Elevator – Without the darkness you would never

know the light - I love you guys”

 

 

 

Jun 21, 2021

Episode 331 – we hear from Laura!

 

Community is so important.  It is so important to connect with ourselves, our source energy, or other people.  All those things get disconnected with addiction. Reconnecting with the world is an important part of recovery.

 

On today’s podcast we have Laura who is from Austin, TX and took her last drink on September 16, 2019.  This is her journey of living live alcohol free (AF).

 

 

Headlines

 

  • Laura’s Amazing Journey [16:04]– you will hear about Laura’s story, and she has some great insights for all of us along this journey to gaining or maintaining sobriety.

 

  • Paul Churchill is back! He is using his Kermit the frog impression.   He missed us all and is so grateful to Odette and all of us for giving him a break this past year. Listen to his insights about his key learnings during the last year [11:20]. Paul describes being sick, mentally physically and spiritually.   He is dedicated and energized to continue Recovery Elevator (RE).

 

  • Season Three!
    • 52 episodes – Paul will do 46 intros; Odette will do 6 and welcome Chris who will do an interview every month

 

  • RESTORE
    • 13 session alcohol free Dry July course!
    • com/restore
    • 75-minute sessions on Monday, Thursday and Sunday with homework sessions including:
    • Calming the mind
    • Building accountability
    • Dealing with intense emotions
    • How to have fun without alcohol
    • Addressing unhealthy thoughts
    • Sound Healing
    • AF Free beverages and more!
    • Day 1 or more and Patrick and Odette are coaching with Paul.

 

  • Odette Rocked It and she is still here!

Paul gave many stats about how a podcast survives in a pandemic.  Paul also learned so much from listening to Odette take the from seat on the podcast.  His discoveries among many include:

 

  • Focus on wholeness
  • Be honest
  • Be vulnerable
  • Time has its own timeline
  • Understanding your relationship with food
  • Expand your team (you are not in this alone)
  • Have Fun! Sobriety is not a curse. 

 

 

Laura’s Story

 

[16:04] Odette welcomes Laura

 

Laura’s last drink was September 16, 2019.   Laura feels great and has ups and downs and is present and grateful.  She lives in Austin, Texas where she owns a spa and does bodywork and energy work.  She is working with Supernatural Recovery.  She is a single mom to an 8-year-old daughter and loves meditation and yoga. 

 

[17:40]  Tell us about your path with drinking

 

Laura grew up in an alcohol abusive family.  She started smoking pot and LSD at 14.  She didn’t want to drink because of her parent’s drinking.  She was raped at 16 and started drinking to overcome her panic attacks.

 

She was imprisoned, tortured, and sexually abused for two years.  She escaped from her abuser at 18, went to college and her PTSD symptoms became really apparent.  She was hospitalized until she could become mentally stable.  She continued drinking for 20 years.  She was often functioning and often not, it swung back and forth.  She didn’t have any rock bottom moments, she lived in rock bottom for several years.  After several false starts she was able to stop drinking in 2019.

 

[20:57] What was your inner dialogue when you started using alcohol?

 

Laura realized if she was drunk enough, she didn’t have a panic attack.  She was doing things that weren’t healthy, but it was how she survived.  She is also in recovery for an eating disorder.  As part of that journey, she realizes she developed a lot of maladaptive coping mechanism that were survival instincts to help her disassociate.

 

[23:27] How was sharing your abuse with the world?

 

Laura said she didn’t share very much.  She minimized her early trauma.  Integrating her alcohol recovery with heavy trauma therapy has helped her and as her sobriety time increases, more memories surface surfaced.  The heavy trauma therapy helped her understand why it was so difficult for her to get sober.  Her trauma and alcoholism to hand in hand. 

 

[25:29] Have recurring memories of trauma been a trigger for you?

 

Laura said sobriety has been an awakening process.  She has discovered some radical truths and uncovering new information about her trauma and her family of origin.  Her therapist has helped her reconcile those awakenings.

 

[26:35] How did you approach your healing journey?

 

Laura wrote a book about her journey which is part of Supernatural Recovery.  There are four cornerstones including:  caring for your physical body (nutrition, hydration, exercise), trauma relief (body work, energy work, plant medicine, acupuncture), calming your nervous system (finding new ways to handle your body when her nervous system was activated), forgiveness and self-compassion which been the part of it.  She is learning how to enjoy her life and avoid negative relationship patterns.

 

[29:20] How did you discover these alternative tools?

 

Laura said because of her body work practice, she is connected to many resources in the Austin recovery community. She learned to release trauma and find new ways to live her life. 

 

[31:14] How was early sobriety for you? 

 

Laura said she did not have a pink cloud.  She cried all day every day for the first 90 days.  Hiking daily, getting outside and the Recovery Elevator podcast were very helpful so she could be vulnerable and honest.  At about 90 days, yoga helped her to feel better.  When she began working with a somatic process, it helped her to become stronger and more committed.  The book, The Energy Codes was helpful and has become a cornerstone of her program. 

 

[34:53] Tell me about the relationship between your alcohol recovery and your eating disorder?

 

Laura said she played addiction whack a mole for some time.  Healing isn’t linear and learning to avoid self-abuse has ups and downs.

 

[37:20] What role does community have in your healing?

 

Laura said community is so important.  Reconnecting with your source energy, people, and the world when you are recovering is important.  She dipped her toes in AA and the 12 Steps, and found it wasn’t for her.  The Austin based yoga recovery community has yoga and meditation classes that have been instrumental to her recovery.  Café RE was important to her in the early days.

 

[38:55] Do you still go to therapy?

 

Laura said yes!  She began therapy before she got sober.  Her therapist specializes in empaths and highly sensitives.  When Laura wanted to stop drinking, worked for a year and a half.   She had several false starts, and her therapist helped her get to the other side.  Her therapist has inspired her to pursue a master’s degree in counseling.

 

[40:42] What has recovery made possible for you?

 

Laura said what she is building with Supernatural Recovery and writing a book that is about to get published.  Education is a part of her journey.  She has a better handle on her emotional reactions.  Service is also gift in her recovery.

 

[42:30] Do you still get cravings?

 

Laura said yes and she currently uses fancy olives.  In her early days she would take a shot of apple cider vinegar.  Calming her body and spending time in nature help.  The disease is to disconnect, and the medicine is to stay present.  Breathwork also helps.  Yoga has helped her train her mind to be her friend. 

 

[44:45] What reactions from others have you experienced since you quit drinking?

 

Laura said people in her life were relieved, happy, and proud.  She has lost some friends along the way because she wasn’t a happy, fun drinker. Sometimes people can’t come with you on any awakening journey.  At the end of the day, you must choose yourself.  Letting go with gratitude helps avoid bad blood. 

 

[46:58] Have you been able to identify any triggers?

 

Laura said her triggers are emotional, worrying about her daughter and getting hungry.  When she thinks she might want a drink, she now can recognize the trigger, let go of the thought and solve it with self-care.  Her daughter is learning to use those tools as well. 

 

[49:14] What does a day in your life look like?

 

Laura said after dropping her daughter at school, she runs or walks, takes clients, yoga, works on her website or editing her book. On the weekends she spends time outside and hikes with friends. 

 

Teaching her daughter about self-care and handling your emotions is important.  Her recovery has made her strong and help others heal.

 

[53:57] When does your book come out?

 

It is slated to be published through the Balboa press within the next 4-5 months.  She is excited share the broad menu of recovery with others.

 

[55:15] Rapid Fire Round

 

  1. If you could talk to your younger self, what would you say?

It’s going to be okay.  You are an incredible, strong person.  You are going to get through this and help others.

 

  1. What is your favorite NA beverage?

Kin Euphorics

https://www.kineuphorics.com

 

  1. What are some of your favorite resources in recovery?

Supernatural Recovery, Café RE, and yoga.

 

  1. What’s an unexpected perk of being sober?

Her skin, her eyes are brighter and that increases her confidence.

 

  1. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

Have compassion for yourself.  The healing journey is not linear.  If you are trying and you haven’t made it yet, realize the more you beat yourself up, the harder it gets.

 

You might need to say Adios to booze if …

When a bottle is half empty and you go to the store because you are worried about running out. 

 

Odette’s Summary

 

Odette says a heartfelt thank you to those that help with the podcast, the listeners and to Paul for giving her the opportunity to be your host.

 

Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:

  • Bozeman 2021 (August 18-22, 2021). This is our flagship annual retreat held in the pristine forests of Big Sky Country, 10 miles south of Bozeman, Montana. During this 5-day event, you’ll discover how to expand the boundaries of your comfort zone.
  • You can find more information about our events 

 

Affiliate Link for Endourage:

For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout. 

 

Affiliate Link for Amazon:

Shop via Amazon using this link.

 

The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!  

 

Resources: 

Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.

Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!

Sobriety Tracker iTunes 

 

Jun 14, 2021

Episode 330– You change and grow and evolve and that’s a good thing. 

You get better, wiser, stronger and make better decisions.  You can’t be afraid of that.

 

Tricia took her last drink on November 14, 2016.  She is from Dallas and is 40 years old.  This is her journey of living alcohol free (AF).

 

Today’s episode will be a bit different.  Tricia chatted with Paul previously on episodes 100 and 212.  We will focus on life beyond the bottle and what happens after you have some sober time under your belt.

 

https://www.recoveryelevator.com/re-100-binge-drinking-problem-2/

https://www.recoveryelevator.com/re-212-the-body-tells-us-where-to-go-next/

 

Today is the final episode of Season 2.  Season 3 of the Recovery Elevator podcast begins June 21st.  We are focused on having fun, staying authentic, spicy chili mango, ice cream and helping others along the way. 

 

Finding Your Better You – Odette’s weekly message.

 

Odette has encountered many people who feel stuck.  They are struggling with letting go of booze.  It’s hard to let go of alcohol in a society that encourages drinking.  It is normal and part of cognitive dissonance.  You can step out of that societal pressure that encourages alcohol consumption.    It’s when we resist that it feels the hardest.  Choosing to see this journey as an opportunity instead of a sacrifice helps is the first step to breaking free.  Choosing to see we are the lucky ones. 

 

Alcohol makes false promises.  When we engage differently with the world, we learn we are detaching from booze and the matrix.  We must be part of society, but we have power to choose and create new experiences.  We outgrow our old selves and fitting in with others.

 

Remember you have the power to break free from the matrix.  You have the power to heal, make new friends, make different decisions, and focus on a better life.  Lean into new beginnings.  You matter!  You can find peace in your decision to stop drinking. 

 

 

 

[10:28]  Odette welcomes Tricia

 

Tricia took her last drink on November 14, 2016.  She describes herself as a high functioning drinker.  Her family had addiction issues.  Tricia talked about being co-dependent and she was a perfectionist and over achiever.  Success validated her.  She worked in a service industry and as a chef.  She worked hard and drank hard.  She was protective of her drinking because she didn’t want anyone to know about her drinking.  She was obsessed with making it look like everything was fine.  She was a blackout drinker.  She was scared about that progression.  She was unable to quit for more than a month at a time.  She got divorced and used alcohol to cope and avoid her feelings.  Her anxiety peaked and her drinking became out of control.  One Monday she went through three days of withdrawal after a weekend of binge drinking.  She reminds everyone not to quit cold turkey if they are physically addicted because it can be life-threatening.  She started listening to podcasts, Recovery Elevator and heard stories that sounded like her.  She began looking for resources and she went to an AA meeting.  She worked the steps, got a sponsor, and went to therapy.  Not all of them stuck, but she liked being able to do it her way.  Tricia has found freedom in recovery. 

 

[20:10] Is it easy to forget how bad your problem was?  How do you make yourself remember?

 

Tricia said she forgets, but not in a way that makes her want to drink.  She knows it was terrible and doesn’t want to go back.  The freshness of early sobriety, her first 90 days are hard to remember.  Recovery is a big part of her life which makes it easier to remember. 

 

[23:19] What are some of your later lessons of sobriety?

 

Tricia said people pleasing and inner child work are old habits to break.  Initially your focus is not drinking.  In time you find new things to work on and it never gets old.  People pleasing is a tough one to overcome.  Separating herself from her feelings was huge.  Alcohol was 20% of her issue, the other issues emerge as you gain sobriety.

 

[26:25] What is your currency now?

 

Tricia said joy and peace.  At night, if she is sleeping easy and she isn’t ruminating, she knows she is doing something right.  Breathwork and meditation help.  Her focus was on achievement and what she could earn.  When she finds joy in things and what makes her happy, she is at peace.  You make choices about how you live life, and it brings you freedom.  Stopping and being mindful of what she is thinking is the work.  Small, steady work on your thoughts is important.

 

[30:50] How do you protect your energy?

 

Tricia said identifying energy sucks are critical.  She is mindful of her reactions to things.   Identifying ‘her part’ is important.  Identifying what she can control helps.  There are days when she didn’t sleep well or didn’t eat and she doesn’t do as good a job as she would like, but she gets an opportunity to try again the next day.  Tricia recognizes she will disappoint herself and others.  She does the best she can and embraces her humanity.  We are all doing the best we can, and listening is important. Getting counsel from people who know you well is helpful.  She likes to remember that not everyone is thinking about you.  Tricia says, find your team – people who know your story.  Don’t live someone else’s life.  Think about yourself the way your dog loves you!

 

[41:15] How do you manage your relationship with anxiety?

 

Tricia said she has struggled with anxiety since age 7.  She had physical panic attacks at age 20.  Medication has helped, but she didn’t have any tools.  Anxiety can be progressive.   She was blocking out days at a time because of anxiety, not alcohol.  Now she lives with anxiety and pretends it’s a roommate.  She knows how to keep it in check.  Giving up alcohol is the best thing you can do.  Tricia focuses on trying to prevent anxiety and meditation, exercise, journaling, a therapist are great tools.  Routine is important including good sleep.

 

[45:32] How is being tuned into your body helpful?

 

Tricia said, the body keeps the score.  It holds onto trauma, memories, etc.  Through breathwork, she is learning to connect to her body.  It checks her into her body, and she can feel when she is getting triggered, stressed, or tired.  Expressing uncomfortable emotions is so important, otherwise it shows up as anxiety or a drinking problem. 

 

Book Reference:  The Body Keeps the Score   

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18693771-the-body-keeps-the-score

 

[50:12] Rapid Fire Round

 

 

  1. What is something unexpected in your journey?

How fun it is.

 

  1. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?

Tricia can’t eat ice cream, but she loves peach pie.

 

  1. What has recovery made possible for you?

Meeting myself and who I really am.

 

  1. What parting advice would you give to young listeners?

Ask questions about your relationship with alcohol.  Push back.  If you drink, you will miss out.  Holding on to booze keeps you missing out. 

 

Odette’s Summary

 

Odette challenges us to take out our journal and write out what the most beautiful and authentic version of your life looks life.  If the unknown is hard to process, give your brain some direction.  Write it down, fill in those fear gaps with hope.  Feel free to email me at odette@recoveryelevator.com.

 

You took the elevator down; you must take the stairs back up.

 

Affiliate Link for Endourage:

For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout. 

 

Affiliate Link for Amazon:

Shop via Amazon using this link.

 

The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!  

 

Resources: 

Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.

Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!

Sobriety Tracker iTunes 

 

 

“Recovery Elevator – Without the darkness you would never

know the light - I love you guys”

 

 

Jun 7, 2021

Episode 329 – I started to notice the expectations putting an expectation on things or a timeline or predict  reactions.  I try to do what I can every day and try not to put expectations on things anymore. 

 

Dane took his last drink on October 11, 2020.  He is from Washington State, and he is 32 years old.  This is his journey of living alcohol free (AF).

 

Season 3 of the Recovery Elevator podcast begins June 21st.  We are focused on having fun, staying authentic and helping others along the way. 

 

Finding Your Better You – Odette’s weekly message.

 

Odette spoke about her beloved Peleton and the arsenal of “why’s”. and thought shifts.  The instructor encouraged Odette to dig into her arsenal of why’s and keep going.    Odette reflected on Simon Sinek’s book,  Start with Why.

 

Odette reflected on her time in rehab.   She focused on why she was recovering from food addiction.  She knew having a family was her why and

 

Actions can be driven by fear or manipulation or love and inspiration.  Simon says few people or companies can articulate why they do what they do. 

 

Charisma has nothing to do with energy, it come from clarity of WHY.  Energy comes from good sleep or caffeine.  Charisma comes from loyalty, energy does not.  Our purpose is to stay on the path of an alcohol-free life.  Odette wants to stay sober so her kids can have a health, not perfect role model.  Odette wants to have healthy relationships and break toxic patterns in society .  Odette has many why’s and she leans on those whys when her tank is empty.  Hard days are part of a good life.  Dig into your arsenal of WHY’s. 

 

 

[7:56]  Odette introduces Dane

 

Dane took his last drink on October 11, 2020.  He lives in Washington State. He is a buy and hold real estate investor.  He subcontracts with janitorial work.  He is 32 and single.  He has a son arriving in June.   He was an only child, so he is hoping to make it as fun as possible.  He loves to travel, seeing culture, history, and food.  He loves cross fit, yoga, the river, boating and is returning to meditation. 

 

[10:49] Tell us about your history with drinking?

 

Dane said he started drinking in high school  He and a friend drank a fifth.  In junior year, beer was the drink of choice.  In college he was mixing drinks and he noticed things going downhill.  He had a rock bottom moment; he was in a car accident.  He was transported to Portland and was in the hospital for 30 days.  He was de-gloved.  After a year of healing, he returned to college to get his degree.  For two months he didn’t drink.  When he started again, he would black out and it went downhill from there. 

 

[14:13] Were you questioning your relationship with alcohol when your accident occurred?

 

Dane said the night of the accident, he didn’t drink any more than usual.  A psychology class prompted him to think about how much he drank.  He moderated and binge drank on the weekends.  Everybody drank in college, so it didn’t seem like a big deal.  

 

[16:08] What happened after college?

 

After college, Dane moved to Seattle for a large city experience.  He binged with his friends on the weekends.  He began to distance himself from his friends so he wouldn’t drink as much.  He went home to visit him family.  His business and his family inspired him to move back to Eastern Washington.

 

[17:40}. When did you attempt to stop drinking?

 

Dane said he and his girlfriend had an argument.  He didn’t remember any of it.  He drove back to his house and awoke with shame, guilt, and anxiety.   He tried to quit before, but generally avoiding his friends and moderating. He knew the life he wanted to have wouldn’t exist without drinking.

 

[19:47] What was your thought process about quitting?

 

Dane said once the car accident happened it put a bull’s eye on him.  It put him on the map with an alcohol problem.  People asked him about quitting or moderating. 

 

When people asked him about quitting, he wanted the details so he could understand it.

 

Dane googled how to quit drinking or famous people who quit drinking.   He knew for five years, he needed to quit, he just didn’t know how.

 

[24:06] What happened on October 10th?

 

I had an argument with my girlfriend and I couldn’t remember any of it.  The first three days were recuperation.   He continued looking at other nondrinkers.  Dane found Café RE, and a weight was lifted.  He knew he was not alone.   As he continues getting tools, he knows his life is better. 

 

He realized he was a good person but didn’t show his best character when drinking.  

 

[27:34] How did you handle early sobriety?

 

Dane said he was always a binge drinker, and he listened to podcasts and focused on podcasts, yoga, and healthy food.   He is tempted with a cold beer or a shot, but he goes back to what he may feel, do, or say.

 

Dane often thought he didn’t have a problem because he wasn’t a daily drinker. 

 

A lot of times the hard things are hard.  We think backwards. 

 

He lets people know he isn’t drinking. Many people ask him how many days he has. 

 

Dane gave a shout out to P

 

[37:27] Do you have a favorite non-alcoholic drink?

 

Dane said Topo Chico and Fred Meyer’s Selzer water.  He loves the feeling.  He also does some NA beers.  He goes to water quickly.

[38:55} Have you noticed any changes in your daily routine?

 

Dane said he is sleeping a lot more.  He acknowledges his body is healing and he needs the sleep.  Day to day he works out and goes to one of his properties.  He is working on meditation. 

 

Dane is managing his expectations and tries to limit them.

 

 

 

 

[43 21:] Rapid Fire Round

 

 

  1. What is a lightbulb moment you have you had in this journey?

I feel better physically and mentally

 

  1. What would you say to your younger self?

Try the experiment but acknowledge your goals for your body and your spirit.  

 

  1. What is your favorite ice cream flavor?

Ben & Jerry’s tonight dough.

 

  1. What parting piece of guidance would you give to listeners who are considering ditching the booze?

 

You are going to feel shitty, but you must let go of alcohol as the crutch. 

 

You may have to say Adios to booze if …

If you almost die, almost lose your arm….

 

Odette’s Summary

 

Odette challenges us to build our list of why’s.  Find all the reasons why you want to stay committed to ditching the booze. 

 

This isn’t a no to alcohol, but a yes to  a better life. 

 

 

Affiliate Link for Endourage:

For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout. 

 

Affiliate Link for Amazon:

Shop via Amazon using this link.

 

The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!  

 

Resources: 

Connect with Cafe RE - Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.

Recovery Elevator YouTube - Subscribe here!

Sobriety Tracker iTunes 

 

 

“Recovery Elevator – Without the darkness you would never

know the light - I love you guys”

 

 

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