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Recovery Elevator

It isn't a NO to alcohol, but a YES to a better life! Best selling author Paul Churchill, along with Kristopher Oyen interview people who have stepped away from alcohol in their own lives. Each week this podcast does a deep dive into an exploration of what a booze free life might look like from various perspectives and opinions.  If you are sick and tired of alcohol making you sick and tired, we invite you to listen to Recovery Elevator. Check out what an alcohol free life can look like as others share their own stories of sobriety. If you are sober curious, newly sober, supporting a loved one or living your best life already in recovery, then you are in the right place. This podcast addresses what to do if you’re addicted to alcohol, or if you think you’re an alcoholic. Other topics include, does moderate drinking work, does addiction serve a purpose, what happens to the brain when we quit drinking, should you track sobriety time, is A.A. right for you, spirituality, and more. Similar to other recovery podcasts like This Naked Mind, the Shair Podcast, and the Recovered Podcast, Paul and Kris discuss a topic and then interview someone who has ditched the booze.
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Now displaying: June, 2020
Jun 29, 2020

Hannah took her last drink on April 16, 2020. With 45 days sober (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol-free (AF).

 

Paul has created a new meditation. It’s 20 minutes long and is specifically geared towards cravings. You can get it here for free.

 

Odette opens talking about the upcoming long weekend, which is the 4th of July. She asks “how can we leverage the current state of the world / the current pandemic and our desire to not drink this upcoming holiday weekend?” A celebration that is centered around food and also drinking, what does this mean for our own choices. There is an assumed permission slip that allows you to start drinking at whatever time you want. Given the state of the world and smaller gatherings happening, it might prove to be easier to not drink.

 

Here’s a list of how to not drink this weekend

  • Bring your own drinks, make it special!
  • Tell someone you don’t want to drink. It’s ok to ask for help
  • Let yourself have fun.
  • Have one goal for the day- Don’t drink.
  • Leave if you’re uncomfortable.

 

[9:00] Odette introduces Hannah.

 

Hannah lives in Las Vegas. She is 30 years old. She has worked in the medical field in the past but will begin teaching soon. For fun recently she’s been doing puzzles. She enjoys hiking, being outdoors, and working out.

 

[12:33] How have you been feeling in these early days?

 

Hannah said she previously had some time away from alcohol under her belt, but had started drinking again. So, she was prepared for stopping again. This time it was emotional, but no physical withdrawal symptoms. She feels good and is looking forward to this path.

 

[14:12] What happened that made you decide to drink again?

 

Hannah said in January 2019 she tried to do dry January again, but only made it about 15 days. She restarted February 1st and this lasted for her until almost September. While she was for a time able to moderate her drinking, once quarantine began the drinking became a daily thing and she was feeling pretty awful, mentally, and physically.

 

[16:02] What started you on this path to wanting to live AF? What’s your drinking background?

Hannah said she took her first drink around 14 or 15. When she was 17, she lost her mother to addiction and alcohol became her outlet to escape. She had a year of partying harder than any teenager should have. Two weeks after she turned 18, she found out she was pregnant and sobered up, promising her child a better life. She did eventually return to alcohol. While she was succeeding on the outside, she was drinking a lot. Around 25 years old she was experiencing high anxiety and was noticing how alcohol wasn’t serving her.

 

[20:38] Did you have a rock bottom moment or what pushed you to take action?

 

Hannah said there wasn’t a true rock bottom moment, but there were a lot of moments that weren’t the smartest: falling, driving drunk, drunk injuries. It was just the understanding that alcohol was what was causing her to feel bad all the time. The shame spiral was real.

The end of 2018 was a heavy drinking period for Hannah and she did 15 days of dry January 2019 but drank. And in February 2019 was her first attempt at living AF.

 

[28:07] Does your son notice the difference in you drinking vs not drinking?

 

Hannah said he hasn’t ever said anything directly, but she knows he noticed when she was drinking in the past. As he gets older she wants to share more with him about her stopping drinking.

 

[30:26] Walk us through a day in your life now. What’s in your recovery toolbox?

 

Hannah said that she tries to wake up and get a workout in before work. Waking up early and doing something for herself helps make her day better. This also helps her identify her emotions for the day. After work she and her boyfriend will cook, listen to audiobooks, keeping herself busy is important.

 

[32:28] Has it been easy having an honest conversation with your boyfriend about your drinking? (Her boyfriend still drinks)

 

Hannah said it's been difficult; she was emotional in the beginning when she first stopped drinking and had to watch him drink a beer or two. He however has been very supportive. He checks in with her and is often the sober person with her. They no longer keep alcohol in the house.

 

[34:59] What’s your favorite NA drink?

 

Pamplemousse La Croix.

 

[35:25] What have you learned about yourself in this journey?

 

Hannah said over the years she has developed some coping mechanisms, but there’s still more work to be done. She wants to work on being more open and honest with those close to her. Expressing her feelings honestly and talk and not keep it all inside will be helpful.

 

[36:20] What gets you excited in life right now?

 

Hannah said that being there for her son as he gets older. Also, a new career in teaching is exciting. Being fully present.

 

[38:05] Did you get any pushback from friends when you decided to stop drinking?

 

Hannah said when she first went AF in 2019, a few friends gave her pushback about it. But this time around she’s trying to be more honest with friends. In the moment there are always people who question why she’s not drinking.

 

[39:22] If you could talk to Day 1 Hannah, what would you say to her? 

 

Just wait it out. Life is so much better without alcohol.

 

 

 [40:00] Rapid Fire Round 

 

  1. What is a lightbulb moment you’ve had on this journey?

How quickly I can progress without alcohol.

 

  1. What is a memorable moment sobriety has given you?

Being in the moment and not being hungover.

 

  1. What are some of your favorite resources?

Recovery Elevator podcast, Café RE, talking to more people who don’t drink, Sober Happy Hour, Quit Lit,

 

  1. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

If you think you have a drinking problem, you probably do. Only you can decide that.

 

 

You may need to ditch the booze if... 

 

If you go to the store, buy a bottle of wine, pour ½ down the drain so you won’t drink it all, drink that and then return to the store to get another bottle of wine.

 

Odette’s challenge this week:

Take a picture of your 4th of July contribution. Share on Instagram and tag us @recoveryelevator on Instagram so we can give you a virtual high five!

 

Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:

  • Ditching the Booze - The What, the Why, and the How. We will be offering this again, starting 8/4/2020 and 11/3/20. It’s free for Café RE members. Not a Café Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
  • You can find more information about our events 

 

The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!  

 

Resources: 

Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.

Sobriety Tracker iTunes 

Sobriety Tracker Android 

Sober Selfies!- Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to  -info@recoveryelevator.com

 

“Recovery Elevator – Stay cool, stay weird, stay safe and stay healthy- we love you guys,” 

Jun 22, 2020

Jamieson took his last drink on August 7, 2019. With almost 10 months sober (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol-free (AF).

 

Odette opens the podcast talking about “permission slips” and specifically giving yourself permission to feel certain things. She quotes Brene Brown, “For personal permission slips, you are in charge of your own behavior – so you're giving yourself permission to feel or act a certain way. It is setting an intention for how you want to behave in difficult situations.”

 

Here are some permission slips Odette gave herself after her first week as the new voice of the podcast: to be scared, to make mistakes, to ask for help, to feel uncomfortable, to fail, to succeed, to try again, to love myself. Writing these out she gained courage, the courage to run towards what she wants.

 

[5:23] Odette introduces Jamieson.

 

Jamieson is 28 years old and lives in Kansas City, MO. He works in special education and is starting grad school in the fall. He is single. For fun, he enjoys making music, reading, playing video games, hiking, going camping, and traveling.

 

[7:49] Can you give us a background on your drinking?

 

Jamieson said he started drinking when he was around 13 or 14 years old. But at the time it was a shot glass worth of wine at dinner every night. The first time he was drunk was when he was 16 or 17.

 

He never really felt like he ever had a normal relationship with alcohol, but problematic drinking began around the age of 21. In college he was always trying to be cool like everyone else, alcohol was an easy resource to make him feel cool and ease his social anxiety.

 

[10:50] What happened after you noticed your drinking increasing?

 

Jamieson said it became very consistent and an everyday thing. At the age of 22, he went without alcohol for one year. After a year of being a dry drunk, he decided he didn’t have a problem and returned to drinking. He continued drinking until his last drink in August 2019.

 

[13:58] After your year sober, and return to drinking, did you know in the back of your mind that eventually, you would stop drinking?

 

Jamieson said in the back of his mind, he always knew something wasn’t quite right about his drinking. The quiet voice in the back of his mind slowly crept into the forefront of his thoughts and he couldn’t ignore it any longer.

 

[14:51] Was there an event that made you go sober again?

 

Jamieson said it was a combination of things. Between multiple rock bottoms/events and seeing his younger brother struggle with alcohol as well, he realized he needed to cut alcohol out.

 

[20:15] What was your plan on the day of your last drink?

 

Jamieson said to himself “let’s just see how long I can go” and at about 2 weeks’ time, he was feeling pretty good and went to a Refuge Recovery meeting. That was a turning point for him.

 

[24:50] You mention that Buddhism has really changed your life, can you chat about that?

 

Jamieson said he’s been interested in Buddhism for a long time but was never able to fully dedicate himself to it while drinking. Mindfulness and meditation are not friends with alcohol and substance abuse. Meditation has been a key component in his sobriety.

 

[31:47] What else is in your recovery toolbelt?

 

Jamieson said podcasts and focusing also on leading a healthier lifestyle/routines. Being on top of himself for the little things like making his bed and brushing his teeth daily. He’s also begun practicing yoga.

 

[34:29] Did you feel like there were new triggers for you when COVID began?

 

Jamieson said it had a big impact on his routine. His school was on Spring Break at the start and they didn’t return afterward. He said it was abrupt and unexpected at how quickly it happened. His routine was a large part of his “staying sane” in sobriety. The lack of routine pushed him to seek out more meetings.

 

[37:04] What are your thoughts on self-awareness growing?

 

Jamieson said he has noticed he’s much more self-aware since he stopped drinking. He has learned more about addiction and specifically alcohol addiction and his compassion has grown towards others. He finds himself being less judgmental.

 

[39:32] What’s a narrative in your life that you would like to re-write?

 

Jamieson said he felt for a long time his issues with substance abuse, anxiety, and depression were his fault. He was messing up his own life because he wasn’t a good person. Jamieson has worked on forgiving himself over the past 9 months. Through Refuge Recovery and Buddhism he has learned that it’s not your fault you are this way, but it is your responsibility to deal with it.

 

[44:32] You’re so young, how has stopping drinking changed your social dynamic?

 

Jamieson said his social life was getting worse with his drinking. All of his friends have been supportive. He finds he’s able to appreciate spending time with his friends and his family now.

 

 

 [48:15] Rapid Fire Round 

 

  1. If you could talk to Day 1 Jamieson, what would you say to him?

Be patient with yourself and know you are stronger than these problems and alcohol.

 

  1. What is a lightbulb moment you’ve had on this journey?

Realizing that I don’t have to wake up every day feeling like garbage.

 

  1. What is a memorable moment sobriety has given you?

Every time I do something I couldn’t do while drinking.

 

  1. What are some of your favorite resources?

Refuge Recovery, Buddhist based recovery platforms, Recovery Elevator podcast, yoga, and AA.

 

  1. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

If you’re struggling with drinking and think you have a problem, start looking into literature and different communities that are out there. When you find a community you like, put yourself in there. Try it for a little while without any promises.

 

 

You may need to ditch the booze if... 

 

You’re so hungover and sleep-deprived you are barely capable of picking someone else up from rehab.

 

Odette’s challenge this week:

Write yourself a permission slip. Snap a photo of it, share on Instagram, and tag us @recoveryelevator on Instagram so we can give you a virtual high five!

 

Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:

  • Ditching the Booze - The What, the Why, and the How. We will be offering this again, starting 8/4/2020 and 11/3/20. It’s free for Café RE members. Not a Café Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
  • You can find more information about our events 

 

The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!  

 

Resources mentioned in this episode: 

Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.

Sobriety Tracker iTunes 

Sobriety Tracker Android 

Sober Selfies!- Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to  -info@recoveryelevator.com

 

“Recovery Elevator – We took the elevator down, we gotta take the steps back up, we can do this- love you guys,” 

Jun 15, 2020

Kris took his last drink on August 9, 2017. At just over 1000 days (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol-free (AF).

 

Odette opens the podcast talking about beginner emotions, also called day one emotions. “You can be brave and afraid at the same time.” Feeling scared and uncertain is natural and part of the process. Embrace those feelings and you can go far.

 

[5:26] Odette introduces Kris.

 

Kris is 38 years old, married with 2 children and a dog. They live in central North Dakota and he is a power plant operator. For fun he loves photography, videography, staying warm in the winter, and camping in the summer. ND summers are the best.

 

[8:28] What’s your favorite ice cream flavor?

 

As kids, Kris and his brother would always go for vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup, roasted salted peanuts, and Smarties as a topping.

 

[10:00] Can you give us a background on your drinking?

 

Kris said he started drinking in high school, he was shy and quiet in High School and this brought him out of his shell. He felt like he could be himself. He joined the Air Force out of high school and alcohol continued to help him forge bonds with others.

While he was stationed in Korea, he says he began using alcohol for more than just fun and instead used it to cope with depression. They lived by “work hard, party hard” while stationed there. He felt lost when he came home and struggled with his identity.

He says the last few years of his relationship with alcohol was really a disaster. He didn’t want to stop, he was hiding his drinking and his relationship with his wife was falling apart.

 

[22:48] What happened after your wife told you that you had to stop drinking?

 

Kris and his wife separated after that and he experienced an “Oh sh*t” moment. At the same time, he began having a willingness in his life to make and action change. He signed up for a treatment program.

 

[25:34] How did you feel after you realized that you had to do this? When did the decision to get sober become yours?

 

Kris said it was during treatment. Working with counselors he learned that he needed to take responsibility for everything. He also met with a pastor who encouraged him to start praying every day. He began asking God to help guide him. He learned the burden of his past doesn’t have to hold him back from his future.

 

[30:50] Do you still have cravings? How different is from the beginning and how is it still similar?

 

Kris said for the most part he only has moments where he romanticizes drinking. He reminds himself that it’s never one drink. Exploring the truth of what it is, sets him straight. He notices that it’s more about behaviors than actual cravings. Being short with his kids or tense with his wife. Because he now actively works on these things, he’s able to more quickly correct the action. Both Kris and his wife, in their relationship, work on these things. They are both more tolerant of each other.

 

[40:34] Walk us through a day in the life right now. What does working your recovery in this type of crisis look like?

 

Kris is considered an essential worker, so he’s still going to the office every day and his wife is a teacher, so she is homeschooling their children. Kris says his recovery is very similar, he just isn’t getting to as many face to face meetings as usual. He’s recently begun working with a sponsor again, so they are connecting a lot. He’s staying connected with Café RE, his sponsor, posting videos, showing support to others through the Facebook pages and Marco polo’ing. 

 

[43:23] How do you keep this journey fun?

 

Kris chooses the tone for his life. He celebrates the milestones with his family, he stays connected with his friends in the sober community, he goes to events, and this past fall he hosted his own independent Café RE meetup. He surrounds himself with the people he loves and can be himself and let loose now that alcohol isn’t a part of the equation.

 

 [46:36] Rapid Fire Round 

 

  1. If you could talk to Day 1 Kris, what would you say to him?

Take it easy and you are loved.

 

  1. What is a memorable moment sobriety has given you?

Being in the water swimming with my family and seeing their smiles.

 

  1. What are some of your favorite resources?

Recovery Elevator podcast, Café RE, That Sober Guy (Shane Ramer), Transitions Daily, Saddleback Church, Elevation Church and a good sponsor.

 

  1. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

Be honest with yourself about where you are at. We can do hard things, but we don’t have to do them alone. Try to find a community, you are not alone.

 

 

You might be an alcoholic if... 

 

If you’ve urinated in more corners of your house than you care to actually mention.

 

 

Upcoming events, retreats and courses:

  • Ditching the Booze - The What, the Why and the How. We will be offering this again, starting 8/4/2020 and 11/3/20. It’s free for Café RE members. Not a Café Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
  • You can find more information about our events 

 

The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!  

 

Resources mentioned in this episode: 

Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.

Sobriety Tracker iTunes 

Sobriety Tracker Android 

Sober Selfies!- Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to  -info@recoveryelevator.com

 

“Recovery Elevator – We took the elevator down, we gotta take the steps back up, take that road less traveled, we can do this- love you guys,” 

Jun 8, 2020

Paul opens today’s episode talking about the short term & long term plans for Recovery Elevator:

Paul is taking a break from the podcast and he will be focusing on the Recovery Elevator YouTube channel and creating meditations.

1-3 year plans: Recovery Elevator Retreat Center

Long term goals: adding more Café RE groups

Let’s all start putting thinking bigger and putting Big Energy out into the universe for Recovery Elevator.

 

[12:09] Paul welcomes Odette, the new voice of Recovery Elevator.

 

Odette’s last drink was 12/17/18. She is from San Diego, originally from Mexico and is married with two kids. They love the outdoors as a family. Odette enjoys learning about tea, puzzling and cooking. She often runs and uses her indoor bike for exercise.

 

[16:08] Paul: What have you been up to since Episode 231?

 

Odette is grateful for her recovery during this time of Covid-19. During her first year sober it’s all about relearning habits, restructuring life and setting new routines. Her year two has been about uncovering a lot of deeper seeded emotions and being more honest with herself.

 

[19:15] Paul: Can you cover what brought you to wanting to live an alcohol free life?

 

Drinking felt like a déjà vu of Odette’s previous addiction. (She is also in recovery from an eating disorder.) She had already walked this path and could her inner voice telling her that if she kept drinking the way she was, it would end badly. Her rock bottom was an emotional rock bottom.

Odette has always felt like she wanted to be normal and because drinking is normalized in our culture she didn’t initially want to step away. Choosing to do the thing that is not considered normal would again put her in a spotlight. However, she knew internally this was the path she needed to take. For more on her story go listen to episode 128 & 231.

 

[23:00] They talk about Odette’s path with the podcast.

 

Odette likes relating to people. She will share when she hears her own story in others. She enjoys sharing books she’s reading and things she is listening to. Sharing a-ha moments.

 

[24:09] Paul: What are some topics you will cover moving forward?

 

Practical tips and recovery tools. Focusing on her recovery toolbelt and listening to what’s working for other people. Spiritual concepts and how those can be brought into our lives. Fun facts, history and what she can learn from others. Hearing from others and having the audience suggest topics.

 

[25:23] Paul: Same format?

 

For now, Odette plans to stay within the same format of an introduction and then having an interviewee. She loves talking and sharing and is really excited to take this forward, she is nervous at the same time. This is about a movement of living alcohol free and she wants to honor the path Paul has established.

 

[28:00] Paul: Talk about evoking Rule 22 on this journey.

 

Odette’s father was silly when raising his own family. She grew up with flawed parents, yet they showed her there was always a path of fun to be found. The life she’s living isn’t a dress rehearsal, it’s the only you she has and it’s too short to not have fun.

 

[30:06] Paul: Spanish or English?

 

English. But there may be an opportunity in the future for episodes in Spanish.

If you want to share your story you can email odette@recoveryelevator.com

 

[32:32] Odette turns the tables and interviews Paul. Can you talk about your decision to step down?

 

Paul acknowledges that he needed to take a break. He thought he needed to start over again, instead of asking for help and delegating a lot of what he’s been doing. The community that he has created came to him with suggestions on how Recovery Elevator can keep moving forward. With some restructuring there is now a path.

 

[37:20] Odette: Overall how do you feel?

 

Paul says he feels incredible. That past year and a half has been the most spiritual he has ever experienced. And even more, the past 3 months he found his body cleansing itself of anything that didn’t need to be there.

 

[39:13] Odette: Tell us about some of the most fun experiences in your travels this past year.

 

Watching a woman connect with an elephant in Thailand. The elephant laid down on its side and the woman laid on top. Watching the elephant breathing and the two of them connecting was powerful.

While in Australia someone from an AA meeting asked if he wanted to go feed the seagulls. Paul put aside his serious side and went to feed seagulls for an hour and a half.

 

[41:51] Odette: What’s flowing through your creative side right now?

 

Music has been creeping back into Paul’s life over the past 5 years. He’s been making meditation music. Also 3D meditations where you are walked through your future self, in the present moment. Focusing on the Recovery YouTube channel as well.

 

[46:20] Odette: Will we hear from you during your break?

 

Yes, Paul would love to pop in from time to time.

 

[52:30] Paul: Where do you think we can take this?

 

Odette says we can start small: have a podcast in Spanish for example. As large as: Traveling across the globe for service projects. A recovery center.

She sees this growing in all directions. The opportunities are endless.

 

 [55:08] Rapid Fire Round 

 

  1. What’s a lightbulb moment you’ve had on this journey?

Odette: I can’t accept myself if I don’t start with myself. I can’t ask for help, if I’m not helping myself first

Paul: We don’t fight an addiction that’s been trying to guide us.

 

  1. What’s your favorite AF drink?

Odette: all Tea, anything with ginger, grapefruit Bubly.

Paul: Cold tonic with square ice cubes and tiny peach slices.

 

  1. What’s on your bucket list in this AF life?

Odette: to run a marathon and working in the recovery field.

Paul: finding a new home base, follow the body.

 

  1. Favorite recovery resources?

Odette: Café RE, Eckart Tolle, Pema Chödrön, Glennon Doyle, friends and Marco Polo.

Paul: You, Café RE, the listeners, meditation.

 

  1. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

Odette: What you resist, persists.

Paul: Use the mind and locate the body.

 

This episode brought to you by:

Gruvi, use this link and enter the promo code: Recovery Elevator for 15% off your order.

 

Upcoming events, retreats and courses:

  • Ditching the Booze - The What, the Why and the How. We will be offering this again, starting 8/4/2020 and 11/3/20. It’s free for Café RE members. Not a Café Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY for waive the set-up fee.
  • You can find more information about our events 

 

The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!  

 

Resources mentioned in this episode: 

Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee..

Sobriety Tracker iTunes 

Sobriety Tracker Android 

Sober Selfies!- Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to  -info@recoveryelevator.com

Jun 1, 2020

Brian took his last drink September 18, 2019. At 213 days (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF).

 

End of Season 1

 

After 276 consecutive Mondays & 5 years, Paul is stepping down from the podcast and is handing Recovery Elevator over to a new and talented voice. He recaps his next steps and an overview of what the last 5 years has brought him. With 2076 days at the time of recording, Paul is filled with gratitude for all you listeners. Because of you, he is filled with enough. We are all in this together.

 

Don’t forget, you can rate and review the podcast and tell Paul the change this podcast has affected in your own life.

 

[13:36] Paul introduces Brian.

 

Brian is 45 years old, married and lives in Easley, SC. He is married with two children. He was in the Army for 17 years before moving to the South. For fun Brian likes to golf, ski, snowboard, BBQ his own meats. He also does podcasting and some PA events.

 

[17:20] Give listeners some background on your drinking.

 

Brian didn’t drink until he had almost graduated High School. He drank and got drunk the very first time. He said that was a theme throughout his drinking. He drank to get drunk each time. He went through military training and service and returned home to finish college in Baltimore. He was asked to leave after 2 years due to a 0.0 GPA the previous semester.

 

[21:16] When did your drinking progress?

 

Brian said there were waves of drinking. It picked up in his 20s after leaving college. Bartending made it easy to drink a lot. In 1999 he had to call out of his job a few times due to hangover. At that time, he saw there was a problem with his drinking and got sober for about 8 months from alcohol. In 2004, he tried to quit alcohol again for about 7 months. In 2007 he got into some legal trouble but during that his now wife became pregnant with their first child. He says his daughter saved his life.

Thorough out this time, Brian says he would often be spoken at work about his behavior during events that involved alcohol. And in 2020 at an executive weekend event, he spent the entire weekend drunk. He said he was spoken to a few times throughout the weekend and that next week was his last drink with his cousin.

 

[30:55] Let talk about your last drink.

 

Brian said it was in his mind that something needed to change. He ordered a craft beer, and it didn’t taste good. He ordered a second, it didn’t taste good. At that moment he knew something was going to change.

 

[35:15] What was September 19, 2020 like?

 

Brian was familiar with the sober fellowship in his area and he began attending meetings immediately. However, this time, he felt very good about his decision to stop drinking. There was a sense of relief and peace that his suffering was over.

20 years of ups and downs and trying to get sober, culminated in this last drink in September 2019.

 

[40:43] In the first 60 / 90 days how did you get past some cravings?

 

Brian said that while he didn’t have cravings exactly, he had thoughts about drinking. Many of them situational. He’s forcing himself to remember the bad and not romanticize the good. Playing the tape forward helps to remind him of the bad. Seeing how that one romantic moment turns into a day of regret the next day. This time getting sober, Brian knew he needed to do something different and approached it in that manner. He put more effort into his getting sober.

 

[46:26] Do you recognize the profound leaps and bounds you have made over these past 7 months?

 

Brian said he has put the work into himself to try and find out who he is. Removing the masks worn and breaking down the facades of who he thought he was to find out who he truly is in this life. He tries to meditate every single day for 30 – 60 minutes a day and has been reading a lot more, both of which center him. All of this to try and put aside the ego.

 

[48:34] Comment on some other experiences where you have said “that’s no longer me / who I am”

 

Brian has seen a change in his personal relationships. In the past he was short to show his temper and is choosing to not be that person any longer. He now finds his stoicism a strength, while when he was drinking it was a weakness. While still drinking he bottled up his feelings which would then tumble out while drunk in an overexaggerated manner. And now while sober, he’s allowing himself to feel the feelings and understand more what they are telling him. Brian lets himself be sensitive and he can respond rather than react.

 

 [52:50] Rapid Fire Round 

 

  1. What’s a lightbulb moment you’ve had on this journey?

I never knew who I was until these last 7 months.

 

  1. What is a memorable moment a life without alcohol has given you?

Rekindling my relationship with my kids.

 

  1. What’s your favorite AF drink?

Seltzer water. Cranberry lime specifically. And Kombucha.

 

  1. What’s on your bucket list in this AF life?

Pilots license.

 

  1. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

Keep going. Even if you slip up, don’t beat yourself up. Every moment is a new moment to change.

 

 

You might need to ditch the booze if... 

 

If your fraternity renames the yearly Biggest Partier award after you and disqualifies you from winning it.

 

Future Episodes:

Please give this new voice a chance, please listen for at least a few episodes. Please let us know your thoughts. Paul has asked this person to honor the mission of the podcast, shedding the stigma surrounding addiction. And also to honor the path this new direction takes.

 

Upcoming events, retreats and courses:

  • Ditching the Booze - The What, the Why and the How. We will be offering this again, starting 8/4/2020 and 11/3/20. It’s free for Café RE members. Not a Café Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY for waive the set-up fee.
  • You can find more information about our events 

 

The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!  

 

Resources mentioned in this episode: 

Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee..

Sobriety Tracker iTunes 

Sobriety Tracker Android 

Sober Selfies!- Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to  -info@recoveryelevator.com

 

“Recovery Elevator – You took the elevator down, you gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this- I love you guys,” 

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