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Recovery Elevator 🌮

It isn't a NO to alcohol, but a YES to a better life! Best selling author Paul Churchill, along with Kristopher Oyen interview people who have stepped away from alcohol in their own lives. Each week this podcast does a deep dive into an exploration of what a booze free life might look like from various perspectives and opinions.  If you are sick and tired of alcohol making you sick and tired, we invite you to listen to Recovery Elevator. Check out what an alcohol free life can look like as others share their own stories of sobriety. If you are sober curious, newly sober, supporting a loved one or living your best life already in recovery, then you are in the right place. This podcast addresses what to do if you’re addicted to alcohol, or if you think you’re an alcoholic. Other topics include, does moderate drinking work, does addiction serve a purpose, what happens to the brain when we quit drinking, should you track sobriety time, is A.A. right for you, spirituality, and more. Similar to other recovery podcasts like This Naked Mind, the Shair Podcast, and the Recovered Podcast, Paul and Kris discuss a topic and then interview someone who has ditched the booze.
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Now displaying: July, 2020
Jul 27, 2020

Andrew took his last drink June 02, 2020. With 9 days (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol free (AF).

 

Finding the better you with Odette. Today’s topic: Setting boundaries.

According to https://positivepsychology.com/ Healthy boundaries are those set to make sure that you are mentally and emotionally stable. You can also think about it as our boundaries might be ridged, loose or completely non-existent. The lack of boundaries may indicate that we do not have a strong identity or that we are intermeshed with someone else or something else: insert alcohol. Odette lobbies for protecting your energy, which is a version of creating boundaries. Set and honor your boundaries. When you set new boundaries and start living them it might feel uncomfortable, and that’s normal. It gets easier and better when you stand up for yourself and share your boundaries with others. Check in with yourself often.

 

[8:25] Odette introduces Andrew.

 

Andrew is 37 years old and lives in Brisbane Australia. When Andrew and Odette first began talking about scheduling this interview, Andrew had more than 35 days AF. He did some field research and is now back with 9 days AF.

He drives trucks for a living, is married and has 3 boys under the age of 7. For fun he likes to ride his trail bike.

 

[14:19] Can you give listeners a history on your drinking?

 

Andrew’s first drink was at age 13. Instantly he fell in love with alcohol. He liked the person he became when he drank. When he was 15 he worked in construction with older guys and that gave him access to alcohol. As an adult the drinking increased and increased, but he never thought it was a problem until his late 20s. Andrew has known over the past 10 years that he didn’t drink normally. He drank more than people and alcohol became an identity. His first son was born when he was 30 and he tried to grow up. Andrew noticed he couldn’t stop drinking.

Andrew said his relationship changed from having fun as a couple to serious and his wife mentioning that it needs to be different. They couldn’t go to the shops without his kids mentioning “oh we need to go to the bottle shop for dad”.

 

[21:34] Did you hit a bottom or what made you decide to pursue an AF life?

 

Andrew said all the relationships in his life began to fail. He never blamed the alcohol but blamed the other person. A few years ago having a surgery that required him to stop drinking 2 weeks prior and his wife laughed at that suggestion. He wasn’t able to stop and drank up to surgery and that’s when he realized it was a problem.

 

[22:40] Did you seek help when you decided to try and stop drinking?

 

Andrew said he simply decided he wasn’t going to drink. He did reach out to a doctor who prescribed some pills that didn’t have any effect. His drinking continued on and off over the next few years. He often found himself googling if he was an alcoholic or not. This led right into the current COVID pandemic. Andrew decided he wanted to find a better life for himself, his wife and his kids.

 

[24:00] Did you attempt moderating before quitting?

 

Yes, Andrew said he tried to moderate his drinking. Being a truck driver for a living, he always had to have 0.0% alcohol to drive. He tried to promise himself he would only drink on weekends, but instead worked out how many drinks he could have in the afternoons and still have 0.0% alcohol level for work the next morning.

 

[26:06] Can you expand on the 6 week dry camp associated with your work?

 

Andrew explained that it wasn’t a company sponsored event. It was the work he was doing at the time and they lived on campus for a period of time. The campus he was on, was dry. He made it the 6 weeks, and on his way home he stopped for alcohol. He picked up exactly where he left off even through he was feeling proud for making it the 6 weeks.

 

[28:06] How had fatherhood changed?

 

Andrew said he’s more present now and is noticing how much his wife had been picking up in the area of childcare. He worries about different things now and he cares more about what is right and wrong.

 

[28:06] Tell us about a day in your life right now, what tools are you using?

 

Andrew said he’s still learning, this is a new journey for him. The traditional help isn’t available right now, everything is only online. He has discovered podcasts and listens as much as he can. He hopes to join an in person AA group.

 

[34:23] Have you received any negative feedback around your decision?

 

Andrew hasn’t received one negative comment from the people he’s told. Everyone is supportive, from family to friends to work colleagues.

 

[37:46] What possibilities are you excited for?

 

Andrew said in the long term he wants to have better and different relationships with his family. He’s looking to purchase a home with the money he’s saving from not drinking.

 

[38:54] If you could talk to Day 1 Andrew, what would you tell him?

 

You will encounter slip ups, but don’t beat yourself up. It‘s ok to not be perfect. Every day you don’t drink is perfect. There are no wasted days.

 

 

 [39:40] Rapid Fire Round 

 

  1. What is a lightbulb moment you’ve had in this journey?

 

How different the world is sober. These a lot of good in small things. 

 

  1. What is a memorable moment you’ve had so far?

 

Knowing that I have enough strength to actually do this.

 

  1. What is your favorite AF beverage?

 

Slurpees.

 

  1. What parting piece of guidance can you give to others?

 

Just jump in and try. Build the muscle, keep working at it.

 

You may need to ditch the booze if... 

 

You drink drive on the way home, but you actually ride a motorbike.

 

Odette’s challenge this week:

Set a new boundaries and try it out!

 

Affiliate Link for Endourage:

For 10% off your first CBD order with Endourage visit this link and use the promo code elevator at checkout. 

 

Upcoming events, retreats and courses:

  • Ditching the Booze - The What, the Why and the How. REGISTRATION IS OPEN! The new course will start 8/4/2020. It’s free for CafĂ© RE members. Not a CafĂ© Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY for waive the set-up fee.
  • There will be about DTB course starting 11/3/20.
  • You can find more information about our events 

 

The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!  

 

Resources: 

Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.

Sobriety Tracker iTunes 

Sobriety Tracker Android 

Sober Selfies!- Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to  -info@recoveryelevator.com

 

“Recovery Elevator – When you say no to somebody else, you say yes to yourself. Remember to stay weird and protect your energy- I’ll see you next Monday.- I love you guys”

Jul 20, 2020

Heidi took her last drink on May 20, 2020. With 19 days (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol-free (AF).

 

Odette opens today welcoming normal drinkers. It has come to her attention that there are some listeners that are tuning in for educational purposes as a loved one has a problem with alcohol. Question for you normal drinkers: would you be interested in a Café RE group focused on you? Email Odette if you're interested.

 

One of the most important books in Odette’s life is The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie. It was referred to her when her father first went into rehab. Each day is a new passage to read and often she is overcome with the meaning and finds herself wanting to share the meditation for the day with others. While she’s not going to read from this book today, Odette is sharing with you all
.

 

Storytime with Odette!

What Do You Do With a Problem? By Kobi Yamada

 

[8:13] Odette introduces Heidi.

 

Heidi is 28 years old and originally from San Diego, but she’s lived all over. Right now she’s in Orange County, CA with her new husband. She works in career services with a focus on health and behavioral sciences. She’s an adjunct teacher and a CrossFit coach and group fitness leader. Heidi loves the outdoors and seeing live music, plays, and time with family and friends.

 

[14:05] Can you give listeners a background on your drinking?

 

Heidi’s first time really drinking was around the age of 16 / her junior year of high school. At the same time, she was a good student and took her studying and athletics very seriously. She only drank on weekends. In college she continued to be a good student and athlete while drinking, so she never felt that what she was doing should be questioned. At the end of her college career, she mentioned to a coach that she felt she might have a drinking problem. This coach dismissed her concerns because she “doing fine.”

 

[19:20]  When you expressed concerns to your coach and he was dismissive, did you doubt him a little?

Heidi said internally she knew that her drinking was a problem, but at the same time, he gave her a free pass to keep drinking.

 

[17:16] Walk us through the last year or so of your drinking and what led up to your sober date?

 

Heidi grew up with obsessive-compulsive tendencies, specifically manifesting in self-harm. When alcohol became an option, it quieted the self-harm aspect. Once Heidi moved back to the West Coast and started working full time, she fell into a routine of grabbing some alcohol on the way home from work. A few glasses of wine became a bottle of wine became a few bottles of wine, then turned to liquor. She started a new job and it turned out to be miserable, so drinking in the evenings was what got her through the days. She and her husband were true drinking partners, so they fed off each other as well.

Last summer she noticed relationships with family members and her husband began to crumble and then she began to take a serious look at her drinking.

One of the changes she made was signing up for the Recovery Elevator Ditch the Booze course. The accountability provided was what she needed.

 

[33:49] Tell us about your experience with the Ditching The Booze course and the extra level of accountability.

 

Heidi craves connection and doesn’t find it overwhelming. Some people in her group check-in daily, some every few days, but the common denominator is everyone has the same struggle. So, everyone already understands. At a moment’s notice, she can give support and get support from the community.

 

[38:17] How has your family dynamic changed in these last 20 days?

 

Heidi said that due to the current pandemic there have been fewer social pressures to go out. At home, with her husband, there has been greater levels of connection. She did have a fear that all they had was drinking and that was why they were together. They began to open up and have new and genuine conversations about themselves. She’s having more moments of pure enjoyment with her husband.

 

[43:43] What possibilities have you excited right now?

 

Heidi said the increase in liveliness is exciting. She feels like a school kid again and full of hope. Being able to wake up early and coach at her gym without being still drunk or hungover. Being present with her husband and family member. Heidi is also seeing a new resurgence in her artistic side.

 

 

 

 [42:20] Rapid Fire Round 

 

  1. If you could talk to Day 1 Heidi, what would you tell her?

 

You can do things that you don’t think are possible right now but stick with it. You can sit with the uncomfortable feelings of a craving.

 

  1. What are some of your favorite resources in sobriety?

 

Café RE, This Naked Mind by Annie Grace, Alcohol is SH!T by Paul Churchill

 

  1. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

 

You already know what that life is like, so why not just try.

 

You may need to ditch the booze if... 

 

You pride yourself on your Christmas shopping by doing it all in one night with a few bottles of wine and then figure out what you bought when it arrives on your doorstep.

 

Odette’s challenge this week:

Take time this week to notice what you’ve been putting under the category of problems in your mind. Think about those problems and try to reframe. Can you see some opportunities coming out of them? Let yourself feel hopeful about the possibility that problems bring with them. They are there you just have to look at things differently. Remember that you are not alone and that together is always better.

 

Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:

  • Ditching the Booze - The What, the Why, and the How. We will be offering this again, starting 8/4/2020 and 11/3/20. It’s free for CafĂ© RE members. Not a CafĂ© Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
  • You can find more information about our events 

 

The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!  

 

Resources: 

Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.

Sobriety Tracker iTunes 

Sobriety Tracker Android 

Sober Selfies!- Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to  -info@recoveryelevator.com

 

“Recovery Elevator – This isn’t a no to alcohol, but a yes to a better life – I love you guys.” 

Jul 13, 2020

Michael took his last drink on May 13, 2019. With just over a year sober (at the time of recording) this is his story of living alcohol-free (AF).

 

Odette opens today asking the question: Is this working? There are obvious moments where it is easy to recognize that life without alcohol is working. When people say you look refreshed, you wake up not hungover and you start sleeping well. But what about the not so obvious moments? The moments that are hard, the moments you miss drinking? Yes, those are the moment when growth and change and abundance are there and about to bloom. Trust, be patient, and stay the course.

 

[7:23] Odette introduces Michael.

 

Michael lives in Springfield, Missouri, and works in construction. He is married with 2 children. For fun, he works, plays video games and spends as much time as possible with his family.

 

[8:24] Can you give listeners a background on your drinking?

 

Michael said he started drinking around the age of 14. He said it was something he was good at and within a year he was drinking a pint or more of liquor a day. He soon began drinking before school and after. In 2002 he joined the Marine Corps, which was his goal. In the military, he often couldn’t drink for stretches of time, so it became binge drinking episodes. But at the end of his 4 years in the Marine Corps, he realized he had a problem with drinking and asked for help. He was enrolled in a daily program through the military to learn about drinking.

After getting out of the military he worked construction, but then in 2008 re-enlisted in the Army. The 6 years he was in the Army, the drinking continued at a bottle a day, every day. He considered himself a very high bottom drinker because he was so high functioning within life.

 

[15:19] What was it that led you down the path to try going AF?

Michael said that he tried to stop multiple times over the years. He began to realize he wasn’t living his life to his best potential. He always tried to be the person setting the example for others, yet his inability to stop drinking was weighing on him. He needed to show that he could stop drinking for good. The idea that he couldn’t quit was his bottom.

 

[17:16] Walk us through what went through your mind on your day 1.

 

Michael said he woke up and said to himself “I need to quit, again.” He searched for podcasts that day and found Recovery Elevator. Podcasts allowed him to saturate his entire day with recovery. He downloaded the Sober Grid app and started reading that and the resources offered.

 

[21:13] How has your life without alcohol been different than what you originally thought?

 

Michael said he had a lot of fear about what he would do and who he would be not drinking. Once he quit, he was no longer avoiding emotions and in a fog. He was freed to just live his life. Michael has learned it’s ok to be sad or angry and that he will make it through.

 

[25:24] How has your family dynamic changed since you have been on this path?

 

Michael said that he’s happy and no longer hiding from his family. He’s a present and active member of his family and at a higher plateau of being a husband and a father. He’s always working on trying to be a better husband and father while at the same time learning to be a husband and a father for the first time since this is the first time through sober eyes.

 

[27:44] Walk us through a day in your life right now.

 

Michael said he wakes up, goes to work, and hangs out with his family. He prides himself on being an open person; he’s open about his sobriety, his PTSD, and his anxiety. He tries to lead by example and with being so open, he allows space for others to be open about their own struggles.

 

[30:22] What is your social life like now?

 

Michael said from the beginning he was honest about his not drinking with friends and co-workers. They were respectful and always offered not to drink around him, but he was always ok about around other people drinking. He said that he understood this was his choice and his alone. There were a few times he did walk away in the beginning, but now he’s comfortable around alcohol.

 

[31:55] What have you learned in this AF journey?

 

Michael said that he is really motivated and setting goals and accomplishing them. This past year has really reinforced this. He’s also rediscovering who he is as a person, not just an alcoholic.

One particular goal of Michael’s is to run a marathon.

 

[36:25] What possibilities are keeping you hopeful?

 

Michael said rediscovering daily life. He focuses on the little things in life and is finding joy in those things. He’s excited about mowing the lawn now!

 

[37:35] Do you still get cravings?

 

Michael said he doesn’t get cravings so much as he gets the idea of drinking still. Cravings are for the most part a non-thought.

 

[38:31] If you could talk to Day 1 Michael, what would you tell him?

 

Keep trying. Even if you don’t succeed today you can try again tomorrow.

 

 

 [38:59] Rapid Fire Round 

 

  1. What is a memorable moment sobriety has given you?

 

Being with my family after my father in law passed and really connecting with them.

 

  1. What is a lightbulb moment you’ve had on this journey?

 

That I am able to stop drinking.

 

  1. What are some of your favorite resources in sobriety?

 

Any recovery podcast, any app that helps you track your sobriety and music.

 

  1. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

 

Just keep trying, we will figure this out. You will never succeed if you don’t keep trying.

 

You may need to ditch the booze if... 

 

You’ve ever considered putting on a resume that you are a daily drinker but have never been late to work.

 

 

Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:

  • Ditching the Booze - The What, the Why, and the How. We will be offering this again, starting 8/4/2020 and 11/3/20. It’s free for CafĂ© RE members. Not a CafĂ© Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
  • You can find more information about our events 

 

The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!  

 

Resources: 

Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.

Sobriety Tracker iTunes 

Sobriety Tracker Android 

Sober Selfies!- Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to  -info@recoveryelevator.com

 

“Recovery Elevator – keep going, trust the process and try not to throw up when the road gets bumpy, we can do this - I love you guys,” 

Jul 6, 2020

Sara took her last drink on December 02, 2018. With 18 months sober (at the time of recording) this is her story of living alcohol-free (AF).

 

Odette opens today talking about re-writing memos. Take a look at the memos you write to yourself every day. Those memos we repeat to ourselves as fact. There are thousands of stories we have written as memos in our lives. Odette encourages us to take out a sharpie and re-write the memo. Change your mind, change your opinion.

 

[6:24] Odette introduces Sara.

 

Sara lives just outside Minneapolis, MN. She is 37 years old, married, and has one daughter. They just adopted a puppy. She works in communications and for fun she likes to go for hikes and walks with friends, hang out with her daughter and eat her husband’s food (he’s a great cook!).

 

[12:58] Can you give listeners a background on your drinking?

 

Sara said she didn’t drink in High School. She went to a party school for college and started to binge drink on weekends. When she first started drinking, she liked the permission that alcohol gave her to be extroverted. Towards the end of her 20s the binge drinking tapered off, but that was when she began daily drinking, first a couple of glasses of wine on the weekend, soon became 7 days a week. While she quit when pregnant with her daughter, she did feel deprived. And once her daughter was born the daily drinking quickly resumed. The anxiety resumed in full force and because Sara didn’t feel like she had a problem with a capital P, this was all normal.

December 2, 2018, Sara found a book by Annie Grace and went from never considering quitting, to leaving alcohol behind all in the same day.

 

[20:16] How was it early in your journey?

 

Sara said at first she cried once the decision was made. She allowed herself to grieve the loss while at the same time being excited. The first 1-3 days she practiced going into social situations, being right before the holidays she had lots of opportunities to practice. Sara always had a treat for herself to keep the feelings of deprivation at bay.

 

[30:43] How was the dynamic with your husband? Did you burn the ships immediately?

Sara said she told her husband right away. She thinks he didn’t believe her at first, she wouldn’t have believed herself at first either! However, he was supportive of her decision. Sara experienced some guilt when she stopped drinking because she felt like she was taking away something from him that was an activity they enjoyed together. They had to work to find new things to connect over.

 

[35:04] What’s in your recovery toolbelt these days?

 

Social connection is the #1 action item in her toolbelt. Sara said that she walks with her friends, she needs face to face meetups. Sobriety podcasts are 2nd. They keep her motivation up. And 3rd is “No treat is off-limits.” Sara knows that she has to protect her sobriety at all costs. She also uses meditation to monitor and identify uncomfortable feelings inside.

 

 

[40:37] If you could talk to Day 1 Sara, what would you say to her? 

 

This is going to teach you more about yourself than you ever thought you could learn. It will be worth the challenges.

 

 

 [40:00] Rapid Fire Round 

 

  1. What is a lightbulb moment you’ve had on this journey?

 

The awkwardness you feel at the beginning of any social gathering will be gone in 15 minutes whether or not you drink.

 

  1. What is a memorable moment sobriety has given you?

 

Remembering Christmas Eve and making memories with their friends and the kids.

 

  1. What are you excited about right now?

 

The upcoming summer in Minnesota. Casual family time.

 

 

 

  1. What parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

 

Don’t cut out alcohol without adding in other things you’re excited about.

 

 

You may need to ditch the booze if... 

 

If you download a habit tracking app to make sure you’re sticking to your allotted amount of alcohol per day. And when it tells you that you’re over, you just delete the app instead of questioning the habit.

 

Odette’s challenge this week:

Write down 10 negative memos that come to mind. Don’t think about them too much, just write them down. Then re-frame and re-write them and keep them close. Read them often and remind yourself of your power. Share on Instagram and tag us @recoveryelevator on Instagram so we can give you a virtual high five! Or email them to odette@recoveryelevator.com

 

Upcoming events, retreats, and courses:

  • Ditching the Booze - The What, the Why, and the How. We will be offering this again, starting 8/4/2020 and 11/3/20. It’s free for CafĂ© RE members. Not a CafĂ© Re member? Sign up here and use the code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.
  • You can find more information about our events 

 

The book, Alcohol is SH!T, is out. Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here! You can get the Audible version here!  

 

Resources: 

Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY to waive the set-up fee.

Sobriety Tracker iTunes 

Sobriety Tracker Android 

Sober Selfies!- Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to  -info@recoveryelevator.com

 

“Recovery Elevator – Let’s walk this path and let’s walk it together - we love you guys,” 

1