Facts about Alcohol: Less than 20% of people with alcohol abuse disorders actually seek treatment for their disease. Excessive alcohol consumption costs the U.S. economy an estimated 250 billion dollars in lost productivity according to a study from 2010. Alcoholic’s Anonymous success rates vary depending on the source.
Makenzee, with 1 year since her last drink, shares her story
SHOW NOTES
[12:05] Paul Introduces Makenzee. I am from Boise Idaho. I am 23 years old and I work in the emergency department at the hospital. I love crafting, and fitness and nutrition. I got married 9 months ago.
[13:15] Paul- When did you first realize you had a problem with alcohol?
Makenzee- I had a constant build up of sickness and hangovers on my days off. I started to realize that my hobbies didn’t exist anymore. I wasn’t really present in the moment. It was miserable.
[16:57] Paul- 13 days ago, did you have a rock bottom moment? Tell us why you quit drinking.
Makenzee- It was hard to say one specific thing happened. I was excruciatingly hung-over 13 days ago. It lasted about two and half days. I was going through some physical withdrawals.
[25:22] Paul- Let’s back up to Day 1,2, 3, 4, 5, how have you gotten this far?
Makenzee- Days 1,2,3,4,5 were… I’m not going to sugar coat it, absolute hell. My body was physically aching. I had a hard time wrapping my head around the situation. Yesterday was the first day I did not feel miserable. It was very difficult the first few days.
[31:36] Paul- What have you learned most about yourself over these past 13 days?
Makenzee- I’m actually a good person. I beat myself up a lot. I realized everyone is not going to like me. But I like me, and I am comfortable in my own skin.
[36:52] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Recovery Elevator in Dallas January Social
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Opportunity to waive the set up fee.
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
Randy Craig, with 49 days since his last drink, shares his story.
SHOW NOTES
[2:53] Paul Introduces Randy. I was born and raised in Casper Wyoming. I went to school in Colorado, and worked there for a few years. Music has been a part of my life since I was very young. I like to read, play music, take my dog on walks. My passion revolves around my music.
Randy tells his story in detail to Paul, and explains his journey up to this point.
[41:59] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode:
This episode was brought to you by RX Bar. Visit RXbar.com/elevator and use the promo code elevator for 25% off your first order.
Out of the Wreck I Rise- Neil Steinberg
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Opportunity to waive the set-up fee.
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
The 3 basic camps of addiction can be broken into the following categories:
The idea here is, roughly, that addiction is a disease because alcohol use changes the brain and, as a result of these changes, alcohol use becomes compulsive, beyond the voluntary control of the user. In other words, drinker has no choice and his behavior is resistant to long term change.
At the heart of Heyman’s analysis is a startling view of choice and motivation that applies to all choices, not just the choice to use drugs. The conditions that promote quitting a drug addiction include new information, cultural values, and, of course, the costs and benefits of further drug use. Most of us avoid becoming drug dependent, not because we are especially rational, but because we loathe the idea of being an addict.
Greg, with 361 days since his last drink, shares his story
SHOW NOTES
[13:45] Paul Introduces Greg. I’m 54 years old, I live In Las Vegas, I’m an attorney, and working in HR currently. I have been married for 26 years, and have 2 daughters aged 22 and 18. I love being outdoors.
[18:59] Paul- Can you describe your rock bottom moment?
Greg- The summer of 2016 I played on a work Softball League. We won the championship. I had a party at my house to celebrate. I drank way too much, I blacked out, we ended up doing shots of tequila. It was a bad scene. The next morning it was the lowest I had felt in my life. It was ruining my relationships.
[26:43] Paul- When you came out, how liberating was that feeling?
Greg- It was awesome. I felt like I had taken a huge first step. I admitted to myself I had a problem. It was liberating. I have expanded my accountability network.
[37:01] Paul- You look at it like an opportunity and not a sacrifice. Comment more on that.
Greg- It is really a celebration. There were times in the past when I tried to give up drinking. With that mentality it didn’t work. I have gained peace and happiness, and joy and serenity. I really look at recovery as something that I have been given. I am going to make the most of it every single day.
[41:18] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode:
"Beyond the Influence" - Katherine Ketcham
Gene Heyman "Addiction: A Disorder of Choice"
Marc Lewis "Biology Of Desire"
Article: "Is Addiction a Disease?"
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Opportunity to waive the set up fee.
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
Paul discusses Step 2 from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous: We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
Mike, with 86 days his last drink, shares his story
SHOW NOTES
[11:31] Paul Introduces Mike. I live in Vermont; I’m 33 years old. I work as a social worker; I hang out with my wife, my 12-year-old son, and play video games.
[16:50] Paul- Describe the progression, coupled with Father time, hangovers are getting worse and worse, talk about that progression.
Mike- Yeah, I would buy those little boxes of wine, then I would just buy the bottle, and the bottle would be gone. It felt like I was in quicksand, when you are running in sand and can’t get any traction.
[20:21] Paul- It’s tough to get 86 days of sobriety, how did you do it?
Mike- Listening to the Recover Elevator was huge. I felt like I was in the contemplation stage. I’ve been thinking about quitting for years. Listening to Recovery Elevator is what really helped motivate me jump right in. I listen to “This Naked Mind” on audio book and really tried to “brainwash” myself, and felt like it worked.
[28:12] Paul- What advice would you give to your younger self? If you could go back to your 16-year-old self, what would you say?
Mike- I would like to go to my 15-year-old self and smack the beer out of my hand. I disagree with the stance that some people can drink normally. Don’t be ashamed that it’s hard.
[35:29] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode:
RX Bar - Visit www.rxbar.com/elevator for 25% off your first order.
Alcoholics Anonymous "Big Book"
"This Naked Mind" by Annie Grace
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code opportunity to waive the set up fee.
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
These 4 Strategies will help us get through any social situation. Will power can only last us so long.
Neal, with 20 months since his last drink, shares his story
SHOW NOTES
[8:20] Paul Introduces Neal. I am in my late 50’s. I have 2 boys, 2 grandchildren. I do maintenance work, I like to go camping and spend time with our granddaughter who lives with us.
[11:50] Paul- In 1990, was your wife leaving you what got you sober?
Neal- Yes. I was driving a taxi in Seattle at that time. The AA world convention came to town. It was a huge emotional relief. I cried throughout the whole event.
[16:06] Paul- Let’s back it up to 2008 when you took that first drink after 18 years of sobriety. Can you walk us through that?
Neal- The pressures, and there were times I would tell my wife to bring home a 6 pack of beer. One day she finally did. It took 6 months for me to ramp up to where I was after that.
[25:04] Paul- Curiosity is killing the cat, what was the reason?
Neal- I had to go on Antabuse in November of 2015. I had to go to the pharmacy and take the white pill. Antabuse and alcohol do not mix.
[29:43] Paul- With nearly 20 years of sobriety logged, do you still get cravings, and if you do still get them, what do you do?
Neal- I don’t get any cravings. Like I said, on that day when I read the obsession, the cravings, it was all lifted, it’s gone. I try to remain calm. Step back and take a deep breath. I try to reflect how they affect me.
[33:34] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code opportunity to waive the set up fee.
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
“We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude.” – Cynthia Ozick
What is gratitude, and how can this help us get and stay sober? Service and Gratitude go hand in hand.
Here’s Paul’s Holiday challenge:
Write 10 things you are grateful for 10 days in a row. Be thankful for something you totally have taken for granted your entire life. After 10 days when you have 100 items listed, review the list, and look for reoccurring themes. Email your completed lists to Paul@recoveryelevator.com
Dan, with 66 days since his last drink, shares his story
SHOW NOTES
[8:10] Paul Introduces Dan. I live a town called Guildford, about 30 minutes outside of London, I have 2 boys named Sebastian and Felix who are 4 and 7 years old, I live with my girlfriend, together we have 4 kids under the age of 9. For fun I enjoy working out, going to the gym, swimming, and desperately trying to learn to play guitar. I work in primary schools, and I deliver health and fitness workshops.
[15:58] Paul- 66 days ago, was this your first attempt at quitting drinking?
Dan- In all honesty, this is my very first attempt at stopping drinking. One time 10 years ago, I quit drinking for January and February. I don’t want to spend the money; I don’t want to feel crap. I want to set the example for my children growing up.
[23:00] Paul- Earlier you said you look at sobriety like a challenge, are you looking at this as an incredible opportunity?
Dan- Yeah, I am. After reading Alan Carr’s book, and Annie Grace’s book, it just puts things in perspective. You never used to have to have to have a bottle wine or beer to have fun, or enjoy yourself. The way I sleep the past couple of months. You feel so much better the way you start your day.
[28:02] Paul- What’s on your bucket list in sobriety?
Dan- At this point in time I really want to focus on my business, and my work. I would really love to do something on YouTube, or something that is focused on the positive of giving up alcohol.
[33:43] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode:
"This Naked Mind" - Annie Grace
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Opportunity to waive set up Fee
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
Paul discusses reverse interventions. They, “normal drinkers” don’t get it. How can we expect normal drinkers to understand what we are going through? What do you need to cover in a reverse intervention? Let them know this isn’t easy for you. Having the real conversation and being vulnerable. Lay out your game plan. Accountability is key.
Amy, with 11 years since her last drink, shares her story
SHOW NOTES
[11:40] Paul Introduces Amy. I’m 54, a Midwestern housewife. I have two grown sons, and husband of 34 years. What I do for fun has changed quite a bit over the years. I enjoy recovery, and spending time with my 4 dogs.
[23:35] Paul- You said when you finally discovered you had alcoholism, you started to recover. What is your definition of alcoholism?
Amy- My last drunk I ended up hospitalized. I didn’t believe you could drink enough to kill yourself. But I came real close. My husband found me, and got me to the hospital, or I would have died from alcohol poisoning. My doctor told me I had alcoholism. They handed me a meeting list, and I immediately started going to 12 step meetings. I finally felt like I landed on the planet I belonged in that I was seeking for 43 years.
[27:02] Paul- What did it feel like when you finally found your herd, you found your tribe?
Amy- It so radically changed my life. My husband calls me his second wife without the paperwork. I didn’t interact with society. I now seek out social situations. I have more friends than I can handle.
[33:25] Paul- Amy you mentioned something earlier you said “Give up the mind fight.” Tell us more what it meant for you to give up the mind fight.
Amy- When I heard a man say two things. I knew it was true. I can drink; I can drink with the best of them. I can’t say I can drink safely. The other one I heard was once I take the first drink; I have no control over my decisions, or where it will take me next.
[43:33] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Brenaim1@yahoo.com (Amy’s email)
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
Paul discusses Step One: “ We admitted that we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable.” from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.
David, with 46 days since his last drink, shares his story
SHOW NOTES
[10:20] Paul Introduces David. I’m a dad of 2 great boys aged 11, and 7. We live in Atlanta. I work at a software firm. I have been there for quite some time. I’m 42, and divorced. For fun there is a lot of baseball, I help coach basketball. Both my boys are in scouts. I love to play and collect guitars.
[12:52] Paul- When did you realize that perhaps you didn’t drink normal?
David- I have several memories of self-questioning my drinking habits going back a decade. I have milestones in my life I questioned my drinking.
[29:02] Paul- You are identifying yourself as a non-drinker. Have you experienced a different case of the F-its like I have 3 years of sobriety, F-it, I might as well keep moving forward?
David- I love this concept, I have not felt this feeling of you have come this far, you might as well keep going. I feel like that day is going to come. You have to be hopeful for the future. I am doing this. You have to balance that with healthy caution around relapse. I can be proud, I can be hopeful, but I have to be cautious.
[34:28] Paul- I know from the retreat you met a lot of people who have the same life goal, how has that affected you moving forward?
David- I described it when I started this journey. I didn’t have any tools. I had no institutional knowledge of what I was getting myself into. It was through your podcast I was introduced to AA in a meaningful way. What I learned from the retreat is that this is something where community helps.
[39:23] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Alcoholics Anonymous- Big Book
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
Anxiety as it relates to drinking is discussed. Alcohol suppresses the nervous system. It is a depressant. If we depress the nerves for long periods through binge drinking, our body reacts once the alcohol is gone by releasing adrenaline to compensate. This gives us severe anxiety in return. Which totally unbearable, and creates a fear that grabs you right in the chest.
Aaron, with 16 days since his last drink, shares his story
SHOW NOTES
[11:12] Paul Introduces Aaron. I’m 38; I live in Albuquerque NM, I work at a print shop. I’m separated, I used to like to fish, and want to get back into that. I like to be out in nature. I have a miniature pincher named Packer.
[13:29] Paul- How is it different this time? Explain that feeling that something clicked.
Aaron- My body was telling me with the anxiety and the insomnia. It wasn’t fun anymore. I was drinking miniatures while I was at work, and tried to hide all the time. Tired of being tired. I’m 38 years old, the party is over already.
[26:13] Paul- Talk about your experience with Opioids.
Aaron- I started off with the pills. Hydrocodone etc. Then I started doing oxy, and for a few years I was doing that. I was going through withdrawals because I couldn’t get them. I started going to the clinic and got on methadone.
[30:28] Paul- 16 days ago you were sick and tired of being sick and tired. What happened, and how did you do it?
Aaron- I started downloading and listening to podcasts. I was trying to figure out what this was, and how to stop. I jumped into it with both feet. I went through the tough first few days of detox. I stopped doing things that were triggering me.
[37:00] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Anatomy of an Epidemic- By Robert Whitaker
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
Paul discusses anxiety and depression as interpreted through an episode of the Dharmapunx Podcast.
Heather, with 269 days since her last drink, shares her story
SHOW NOTES
[10:50] Paul Introduces Heather. I’m 37; I live in Los Angeles, CA. I’ve been here for about 7 years. I grew up in south Texas. I work for a small cable network. I love yoga, hiking, going to the movies. I have an identical twin sister.
[16:04] Paul- When did you realize perhaps that you don’t drink normally?
Heather- I think its been varying stages of that. Moving from Texas to New York was an adjustment. I got a job in a bar, and that was my life.
[25:54] Paul- What was the impetus that really forced you to make that jump into sobriety?
Heather- I had been reading “A Happier Hour” and the light bulb went off when I was reading that book. I was also reading a blog from tired of thinking about drinking. I started a 100-day challenge.
[35:02] Paul- When did AA come into the picture?
Heather- I am still going. I am kind of afraid of the steps. Around day 60 or 70 I was feeling lonely about talking about it, and I was afraid to go. I put it out there, and things happened.
[40:28] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode:
This episode was brought to you by RXBAR. Visit RXBAR.com/recovery for 25% off your first order.
Tired of Thinking About Drinking
A Happier Hour- By Rebecca Weller
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
This week’s topic is PAWS- Post Acute Withdrawal Symptoms/Syndrome. Paul explains what PAWS is, how to deal with it, and some of the signs to look for.
Josh, with 15 months since his last drink, shares his story
SHOW NOTES
[8:13] Paul Introduces Josh. I am from Phoenix originally, now living in LA; I am a digital content producer. I am 36 years old. I like hiking and exploring with my miniature golden retriever Diego.
[10:30] Paul- You left AA in recovery determined to find a way to drink normally. How did that go?
Josh- Once you’ve been introduced to recovery and then you go back out, it’s tough because you can’t enjoy drinking the way that you were. I just wanted to learn to drink responsibly. To me it felt like there were people with more serious problems than me.
[19:35] Paul- Why did things start to change after you adopted Diego?
Josh- It took me out of myself. Talking to others about their dogs. Going to the dog park, and meeting other people. I kept myself busy in early sobriety. Having Diego at home with me really helped me more than I can explain.
[27:49] Paul- Talk to me about outpatient treatment, what was that like?
Josh- I didn’t feel connected to the group, it wasn’t a good experience because I wasn’t’ putting the work into it. When I was finally ready in 2016, it was a really good experience. I went 6 days a week for the first month.
[35:07] Paul- Where are you at these days with 12 step programs? Do you go to AA meetings?
Josh- I do. I was anti- AA for a long time. I don’t embrace everything about it. What I admire is that it is organized so well. There is a core connection of people there if you want it. I was going to 5-6 meetings a week the first year. I definitely get something out of it. It is not everything to me. I am working the steps.
[38:31] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
Paul summarizes an article from National Geographic “The Science of Addiction.” Nearly 1 in 20 adults worldwide are addicted to alcohol. 21 million Americans have a drug or alcohol addiction. Making the disorder more common than cancer. Addiction is a pathological form of learning.
Carey, with 40 days year since her last drink, shares her story
SHOW NOTES
[8:52] Paul Introduces Carey. I am 30 years old; I’m an RN from Rochester New York. I used to say I liked to do a whole lot of things, but I put a lot of it on the back burner when I was drinking.
[14:45] Paul- Did you have a rock bottom moment? What caused you to make this decision to get into sobriety?
Carey- I feel like there are so many situations in which I should have chosen that time. 40 days ago was the time I decided to make the decision for myself. I hated when people told me I should quit drinking.
[19:39] Paul- Before 40 days ago, was that your first time tried to quit drinking?
Carey- Back in the day when I first started noticing issues, I was trying to narrow it down. I went through the whole cycle. After the wedding I had quit drinking for 10 weeks. If I got into nursing school, I was going to celebrate with wine. A few months after starting nursing school I got a DWI.
[35:28] Paul- You were sick and tired of being sick and tired. You used the word excited. How has that shift in mindset?
Carey- I was excited at the fact that I didn’t have to worry anymore. I didn’t have to go out to dinner and worry if my second order of beer would be frowned upon. I am excited about meeting other sober people.
[42:39] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
I want to talk about the word Alcoholism, more specifically, the tail end of that word, the ISM- Incredible Short Memory, the painful acute memories are sobriety fuel. We cannot do this alone.
Adam, with 57 days since his last drink, shares his story
SHOW NOTES
[8:50] Paul Introduces Adam. I’m 36; I live in New Hampshire, married with 2 awesome sons and a beautiful wife. I love being outdoors. I began drinking in my early twenties. I was drinking to get away from stress problems. It got to the point where I was drinking everyday.
[15:05] Paul- What was different on July 17th? Was it a shift in mindset? Did you go to an AA meeting?
Adam- It was more of a mindset. Everywhere I looked there was something about recovery. It was my mind putting it out there. I created the accountability, and it made it harder to go back on.
[21:40] Paul- Was there some sense of discomfort before you quit drinking? What was the source of pain?
Adam- It wasn’t anything huge. I called myself a high bottom drunk. There wasn’t anything that set it off. I was sick of relying on it everyday. Waking up every morning sleepier than I should be. It became too much a part of my life, and I didn’t want it there anymore.
[23:56] Paul- What was it like the first 24 hours? The first couple of days, the first week?
Adam- It was not the easiest time in my life. I had a little bit of the shakes, some headaches the first 3-4 days was the worst of it. I remind myself how great I feel now.
[26:53] Paul- What’s on your bucket list in sobriety? What do you want to achieve with this new life you’ve been given?
Adam- I want to spend more time with my family Instead of playing with the kids, the first thing I would do would be to grab a drink. They are 3 and 7 years old right now. Be closer to them. This time of their life I really want to remember.
[29:45] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
New data has revealed that one in eight Americans are now alcoholics due to an alarming rise in alcohol consumption in women, elderly people and ethnic minorities.
Experts at the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism say that the rise could constitute a public health crisis that is being overshadowed by the opioid epidemic and marijuana legalization.
During an 11 year gap, the number of people who received a diagnosis of alcoholism shot up by 49 percent, meaning 12.7 percent of the population - or roughly one in eight Americans - are alcoholics.
Megan, with 11 hours since her last drink, shares her story
SHOW NOTES
[5:15] Paul Introduces Megan. I’m from Baltimore, Maryland. I am 38, single, with a live-in boyfriend.
[7:19] Paul- What forced you to reach out to me again, and give us a little background.
Megan- The whole point of what you are doing is when you can relate to other people. I love that you are an advocate for the acceptance part of it. People are ashamed to come out so to speak. I didn’t start drinking until late in college. I liked the way it made me feel. I wasn’t self-conscience. It was never really a problem. One day in my late twenties I realized I was drinking everyday.
[23:49] Paul- Talk to me about your withdrawal symptoms.
Megan- It’s usually worst the second and third day. The shaking and the anxiety is the worse. I can’t shut my brain off.
[26:36] Paul- What’s your plan? How are we going to do this?
Megan- I am going to get through today. One day at a time. Right now it is just getting through today. I know that I want to get sober and stay sober. Am I done yet? I’m not entirely sure. I want to be there, but I don’t know if I am.
[32:36] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode:
It's a public health crisis: 1 in 8 Americans are now alcoholics By Abigail Miller for Dailymail.com
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
Paul reads posts from members of Café RE answering the question: “What are some things that helped you in early sobriety?
There are some emerging common themes from these responses. Change, you don’t have to change much, you just have to change everything. Accountability is the key, you can’t do this alone. Alcoholism is a thinking disease. You can’t think your way out of it. Knowledge is not power unless you use it.
Marybeth, with 8 months since her last drink, shares her story
SHOW NOTES
[8:40] Paul Introduces Marybeth. I’m 51; I live in southern New Hampshire. I am married with 4 children, 2 of which have special needs so that takes up some time. I like to visit with friends and family, downhill ski, and exercise.
[13:39] Paul- Tell us about your drinking habits, how much did you drink prior to November 26th, 2016?
Marybeth- I was a big red wine drinker. I did a sugar cleanse, and then I ended up sipping Tequila neat. Then I switched back to wine. I knew I would never be a morning drinker, or drink before 5:00. I typically had 2 glasses of wine a night for years.
[17:45] Paul- Was there a bottom moment, or were you sick and tired of being sick and tired?
Marybeth- I attribute my sobriety to an accident. I broke my ankle while I was walking and texting. It was difficult to be on crutches, and drink at the same time. I came upon the 30-day sober solution while I was in my cast.
[21:48] Paul- How important do you think accountability has been these past 8 months?
Marybeth- It’s been really great. I couldn’t handle my alcohol, and was passing out early. Now I can stay up late and have fun. I was asleep and numbing my self with alcohol. I was snared by it socially, and numbed by it unintentionally. I wasn’t seeking to numb anything.
[29:05] Paul- What does your sobriety portfolio consist of? Walk us through a typical day of sobriety.
Marybeth- I wake up everyday and meditate for 30 minutes. I use the headspace app. It is like exercising a muscle. I connect with friends, and do things, which interest me.
[30:16] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
Paul summarizes the Retreat, which took place in Bozeman, Montana.
SHOW NOTES
[13:22] Paul Introduces Kristin 238 days sober, Amy 11 years sober, Dave 12 days sober, and John with 18 and ½ years of sobriety.
[15:55] Paul- What did you think the retreat was going to be like?
Dave- I didn’t have any set expectations. It has been sharing, but so much more. I have connected with every single person here.
[16:50] Paul- What surprised you so far on this retreat?
Kristin- I was surprised at how easy it was to talk to everybody here. I am not extremely comfortable around strangers. Since we have been in the online community the past year, it was easy to chat with everyone.
Amy- I enjoyed the camaraderie. It is beautiful here.
[27:30] Paul- Tell us what made you decide to come, and a little about your story?
Kristin- My drinking career didn’t start until 2001. I realized about 5 years ago that I had a problem, and tried to moderate. My bottom was New Years Eve. I have not lost any friends in sobriety. It’s been a wonderful 8 months.
Dave- I grew up in a household of Tea Totalers. I got into a high stress job with expense accounts. The “sick and tired of being sick and tired” resonated with me. There is a new chip on my shoulder.
Amy- I started drinking when I was 13. I had the epiphany that this was the missing link. I didn’t think there would be this much joy in sobriety. You can’t love other people until you love yourself. Everything I wanted alcohol to give me, I got sober.
John- My drinking career began in high school. My mom passed away when she was 47, many family members had alcohol related deaths. I became a daily drinker from college to 40 years old. January 5th of 1999 is when I got sober. My biggest breakthrough was writing a letter to my mother who had passed away. I stay sober due to the people in my community.
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“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
Paul summarizes the article “America’s Drinking Problem Is Much Worse This Century” by John Tozzi
Alcohol abuse has shot up since 2001, and the number of adults who binge weekly may top the population of Texas. Americans are drinking more than they used to, a troubling trend with potentially dire implications for the country’s future health-care costs.
The number of adults who binge drink at least once a week could be as high as 30 million, greater than the population of every state save California, according to a study published on Wednesday in JAMA Psychiatry. A similar number reported alcohol abuse or dependency.
Between the genders, women showed the larger increase in alcohol abuse, according to the report.
Kristi, with nearly 9 months of sobriety since her last drink, shares her story.
SHOW NOTES
[7:09] Paul Introduces Kristi. I live in northern California near Stanford; I am 44, married and have 2 boys. I worked 25 years in software sales. I have been spending most of my time volunteering.
[16:28] Paul- When did you start realize after your Mom passed away, that this might be going in the wrong direction?
Kristi- Honestly, around 38-39 I started to realize I was drinking differently than I had in the past. I was working full time with 2 young kids, and I had to have 6-7-8 drinks at the end of the day.
[20:23] Paul- What was your first AA meeting like?
Kristi- I was so overwhelmed. It was 9:00 on a Saturday morning, and there were 300 people there. I realized that all meetings weren’t this way. I jumped right in, started going to meetings, got a sponsor, and worked the steps. I was working on will alone. I don’t think I realized the importance of a higher power, and letting go. I managed to stay sober for quite awhile.
[28:43] Paul- You sound like you are a high bottom drunk, and have a lot more to lose, am I correct?
Kristi- I didn’t get the DUI, or drive my kids drunk. But I wasn’t present. I can really sit and appreciate the moment now. I am feeling good; I have a skip in my step. When you live in gratitude, you can’t live in fear and resentment.
[32:07] Paul- What’s on your bucket list in sobriety, what do you want to accomplish in this life?
Kristi- I would like to learn Spanish. I would really like to write a book.
[33:31] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode:
America's Drinking Problem is Much Worse This Century- By John Tozzi
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
Self-Loathing is rampant in addiction, and it needs to be addressed and curtailed if we want to find long-term recovery. Self-trash talk is a double whammy when we judge ourselves harshly. We are both the attacker, and the attacked. Dr. Kristin Neff’s book “Self Compassion” is summarized.
Tori with 16 days since her last drink, shares her story.
SHOW NOTES
[9:25] Paul Introduces Tori. I am from Gainesville Florida; I have lived here since I was 10. I am 24 years old. I am a proud mom to a Chi Wawa named Tucker. I like to craft, and go to the springs.
[14:39] Paul- What was the deciding factor to listen to the RE podcast, and contact the host?
Tori- My DUI was my bottom, the way I portrayed myself to the officer in December of 2015.
[18:35] Paul- I’m going to read one sentence from the email you sent to me. “I don’t drink everyday, I don’t have withdrawals, what I do have is the inability to control myself once I start drinking”. Talk to me more about that.
Tori- During the workweek I like to keep my head on straight. The culture in town is to drink, and to binge drink. I have been doing these bar tours since I was 17.
[24:34] Paul- What has it been like these past 16 days?
Tori- I have been preoccupied with work. I was moving for one of the weekends. The hardest day was when two of my best friends came over and brought wine. I didn’t drink, and they didn’t care. I haven’t had that breakthrough of clarity yet. I kind of feel that I am in limbo.
[32:58] Paul- To this point, what have you lost to alcohol?
Tori- A lot of my dignity, you gain more dignity in sobriety. Other things I have lost are trust with my parents. I have lost my sense of safety. I was taken to the back seat of a car and taken advantage of. I was beaten up, and had a concussion; I lost a ton of money.
[37:01] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Self-Compassion Dr. Kristin Neff
Dr. Kristin Neff- CMSC website
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
Paul summarizes a talk by Tara Brach named “Healing Addiction: De-Conditioning the Hungry Ghosts”
Addiction is addiction, it doesn’t matter what it is, it is applicable. Tara talks about the “hungry ghosts” of addiction. There is a sense that something is missing. A feeling that this moment does not contain enough happiness. How you live today is how you live the rest of your life. When we don’t have basic needs met, we reach out for a substitute. We must find a way to love ourselves.
Peri, with 81 days since her last drink, shares her story.
SHOW NOTES
[11:11] Paul Introduces Peri. I have been sober since May 8, 2016. I am a bartender, I live in Salt Lake City, Utah. I am a poet, and have been writing more in sobriety.
[12:58] Paul- Describe your drinking habits, how much did you used to drink?
Peri- I think by the end I was drinking 20-30 shots of whiskey a day, and 5 beers. I tried all types of rules with most of them meant to be broken. I think I started to derail when I was 17 years old. I knew by the time I was 21, I had a problem.
[16:13] Paul- Talk to us about some of the things you have had to change?
Peri- A big thing for me is friendships. Almost everyone I associated with drank like I did. I had to cut almost everyone out of my life. I had to start fresh like I knew no one in the city.
[20:19] Paul- You quit smoking and drinking at the same time, tell us about that?
Peri- I quit soda at the same time too. 5 aspirin and a large Coke used to get me through the hangovers. I had massive blood clots, so I had to quit both to avoid the health consequences.
[25:11] Paul- What’s on your bucket list in sobriety, what do you hope to accomplish?
Peri- Some days it is One Day at a time, others it is the moon. I am saving up for a truck, I would like to travel more. I would like to get off my blood thinners. Healing my body would be a huge moment for me.
[29:45] Paul- What do you do when you have the cravings?
Peri- I eat a lot of ice cream. Either Pistachio, or Peanut butter ice cream, sometimes Raspberry.
[35:27] Paul- How is it today? How are you on day 81?
Peri- I feel really great, doing an interview right now. Meeting up with my friends, having some dinner. I legitimately haven’t experienced a sober birthday in 10 years. I am looking forward to remembering it. I have been trying the meditation. I have been researching alcoholism. I have been pretty active in Café RE. Occasionally, I will go to AA, but only when I need an extra boost.
[37:30] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Healing Addiction: De-Conditioning the Hungry Ghosts
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“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
Paul summarizes the book “When Things Fall Apart” by Pema Chodron.
How can we live our lives when everything seems to fall apart—when we are continually overcome by fear, anxiety, and pain? The answer, Pema Chödrön suggests, might be just the opposite of what you expect. Here, in her most beloved and acclaimed work, Pema shows that moving toward painful situations and becoming intimate with them can open up our hearts in ways we never before imagined. Drawing from traditional Buddhist wisdom, she offers life-changing tools for transforming suffering and negative patterns into habitual ease and boundless joy.
Tyler, with 137 days since his last drink, shares his story
SHOW NOTES
[7:45] Paul Introduces Tyler. I’m 33, live in Austin, Texas. I am an editor for a national magazine, and I am an HIV pharmacy rep in Texas. I have 2 standard Poodles named Jones and Indy (Counting Crowes reference, not the movies).
[12:57] Paul- When did you realize that maybe your drinking is not normal?
Tyler- I started about 3 years ago evaluating my own behavior. I wanted to look into my own behaviors and recognize that I’m 33, and I am binge drinking 3 nights a week. I took a 30-day sober challenge, and then I was wasted on day 31.
[17:06] Paul- Was it a question in your mind that you were getting worse?
Tyler- I still question whether I was or not (having a problem with alcohol). Let’s just go ahead and say I have a problem with it. My balance is none at all. If I weren’t so exposed to alcoholism, it wouldn’t have showed me what it could do to a person.
[21:21] Paul- It sounds like you woke up one day and said “I have a drinking disorder.” How did that feel when you reached that conclusion?
Tyler- It was terrifying, I was going slowly in the process. I did go to an AA meeting my first month. It is a wonderful program, and I will never close my door to that program. It was organizing my thoughts around what I am, and what I’m not.
[29:19] Paul- Walk us through a typical day for Tyler.
Tyler- I am still figuring out how I do it. I went to a wedding in Mexico at a resort, which had, it struggles. I volunteer a whole bunch; I volunteer at an animal shelter, and at a local clinic. I do meditate quite a bit for 20-30 minutes a day. I am on a kickball team here in Austin. The hardest part about my journey is navigating my same social circles sober.
[32:47] Paul- What have you learned most about yourself in recovery?
Tyler- I’m honestly a very intense person. Alcohol used to water down my intensity. I have to find other ways of chilling out.
[35:23] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode:
RE 74: 50 Ways to Stay Sober This Summer
Gay, Fabulous, and Drinking Myself to Death
"When Things Fall Apart" by Pema Chodron
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
Paul comments on a video show on stopdrinkingexpert.com titled “Alcohol will kill you” If we can put “smoking kills” packaging of cigarettes, why can’t we put similar labels on alcohol? This documentary takes place in the UK, but is contemporaneous throughout the globe. They found that 50% of the people tested had elevated liver values. The price of alcohol has become significantly cheaper than it was 30 or 40 years ago. Fear does not harness long term sustainable sobriety.
www.stopdrinkingexpert.com
[8:26] Paul introduces Randy with a sobriety date of 12/30/2016. I am 39 years old, with 4 kids aged 12, 10, 4, and 2. I am from Indianapolis, IN, and currently relocating to the Denver area. I am a restaurant manager who enjoys hiking, and spending time with my kids. Drinking wasn’t really fun anymore. I found myself drinking alone by myself most of the time.
[17:05] Paul- Would you classify yourself as a high bottom drunk?
Randy- No one really believed that I was an alcoholic, even when I started going to AA, and getting into recovery. The older I am getting the hangovers became too difficult to deal with. People who aren’t involved in recovery, have a difficult time understanding what we go through.
[22:41] Paul- Is AA the main vein for how you got sober?
Randy- I hit a streak of RE podcasts where AA wasn’t mentioned at all and I remember being excited that I didn’t have to go to any meetings to get sober. Then I heard a few RE episodes where people started to get traction with their sobriety had success with AA. I went to a few meetings before I found one I really liked and connected with the people there. I found a sponsor, and have been working the steps and making progress.
[25:56] Paul- What was it like when you first quit drinking?
Randy- I wasn’t sleeping great initially. Sleep is amazing now. The second day without drinking I woke up at 6:00 am, and was binge listening to podcasts and working out. The first few days were rough for sure. Finding those activities and things to do that replace drinking are important. I joined the RE Facebook group within the first 2 weeks.
[30:53] Paul- Walk us through a typical day in sobriety now.
Randy- I am there for my kids more now. I like to spend time with my sponsor at least once a week. I always check in with the Café RE Facebook group. I am trying to eat a little better, and exercise more. I look forward to so many more things now, instead of trying to get everything accomplished so I can drink.
[35:37] Paul- Has it been tough being in the restaurant business through sobriety?
Randy- It has it’s challenges, but hasn’t been too bad. Seeing the hangovers on my servers faces keeps me grounded in my recovery, and reminds me of what I don’t miss from drinking.
[38:06] Rapid Fire Round
What was your worst memory from drinking? We went out with my little brother, and I tried to keep up with his friends. We did shots of Irish car bombs, I was so hungover the next day. We had to get up early and go to a “Fun Fair” at my daughters school. All the parents were happy and engaging, I didn’t want to be there and just wanted to hide.
Did you ever have an “oh shit” moment”? I remember coming home from work and finding only 8 beers in the fridge. I was angry because I knew that wasn’t going to be enough. I had to go to the liquor store and get more before I could start drinking.
What’s your plan in sobriety? I want to keep moving forward in my sobriety. Meditation is on my list, and I want to continue doing what has worked for me so far.
What’s your favorite resource in recovery? “This Naked Mind” by Annie Grace
What’s the best advice you have received? Find what works for you. Talking to people who are sober have all sorts of different paths, but end up sober.
What parting piece of advice can you give to listeners who are thinking of quitting drinking, or in early recovery? If you are thinking about getting sober, then let’s do it! I haven’t regretted a day of sobriety thus far. If my life doesn’t improve, I can always go back to drinking. If I don’t make changes now, I know I will regret them later.
You might be an alcoholic if you still pack a cooler to take to parties, but now it is full of La Croix and other sparkling waters.
Paul breaks down and discusses the article: “The Spiritual Consequences of Alcohol Consumption” by Zahrah Sita
Although it is mass produced, mass promoted, legal, and ingested by a multitude of people all over the world, most people don’t ever consider or understand the spiritual consequences of drinking alcohol.
Let’s begin by taking a look at the etymology of the Word alcohol. Etymology means the root of the word… where it is derived from.
The word “Alcohol” comes from the Arabic “al-kuhl” which means “BODY EATING SPIRIT”, and gives root origins to the English term for “ghoul”. In Middle Eastern folklore, a “ghoul” is an evil demon thought to eat human bodies, either as stolen corpses or as children.
The words “alembic” and “alcohol”, both metaphors for aqua vitae or “life water” and “spirit”, often refer to a distilled liquid that came from magical explorations in Middle Eastern alchemy.
Odette, with 7 days since her last drink, shares her story.
[5:45] Paul Introduces Odette. I have been sober one week, so still riding the “Pink Cloud”. I am from Guadalajara, Mexico and currently reside in San Diego California. I am 29 years old, I am married and have 2 kids, and I am a wellness and fitness coach. For fun I love going to the beach, cooking, and going to concerts.
[8:00] Paul- Describe your drinking habits over the last 10 years, 5 years.
Odette- I started only drinking on weekends. Then over time it turned into drinking everyday, and heavy drinking on the weekends. I noticed a natural progression of my drinking habits.
[16:02] Paul- When was it you that decided you needed to quit drinking?
Odette- It had been on my mind for months. I am a very optimistic person, and the past few months I was living from a place of fear.
[19:23] Paul- What’s it been like the past week?
Odette- It’s been hard. I have a 3 year old and an 8 month old. Being grounded helps me kick the urge. My number one assignment is to be a mother, a present mother. I really just enjoyed being a mom. Listening to podcasts every single day, exercise and self-care. One day at a time.
[22:40] Paul- Have you ever had a rock bottom moment in regards to alcohol?
Odette- The morning after the Super bowl. I spoke with my dad about not drinking anymore. Pay attention to your own compass. People perceive you differently than you are.
[29:14] Paul- What advice can you give to someone struggling to recognize his or her own addiction struggles?
Odette- I think the best advice I can give is I wish I would have known two concepts. If you know your why, it will help you surrender quicker. Write out your vision.
[33:18] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode:
http-//educateinspirecha#4A112C
https://www.eckharttolle.com/books/newearth/
https://www.facebook.com/search/top/?q=the%20harmony%20tribe
http://melodybeattie.com/books/language-letting-go-hazelden-meditation-series/
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
Rule Number One of podcasting is plug in the microphone.
Pete, with 488 days of sobriety shares his story.
SHOW NOTES
[2:19] Paul Introduces Pete. I am 38 years old, and golfing is my favorite leisure activity. I have an 8-year-old daughter and a 2-year-old son. I am in construction sales, mostly traveling around Ohio and surrounding states.
[6:07] Paul- When did you realize you had a problem with alcohol Pete?
Pete- I’ve always known, or at least had the fear of having a problem. I could drink a case of beer by myself in High school.
[12:23] Paul- Was this a bottom you experienced, or where you done?
Pete- I hit a spiritual bottom. Things that were important, no longer seemed important. My wife, great job, and truck were all things that weren’t making me happy. I realized that doing these things that I was taught would make me happy weren’t. I was bankrupt spiritually and emotionally. My wife opened the work bench, and the drawer was full of empty and full booze bottles. They were devastated. I realized that suicide wasn’t’ an option. That was the moment that made me change everything.
[17:25] Paul- What was the outpatient therapy like? Walk us through that.
Pete- I went to a state certified program. I attended with several other professionals who learned a great deal about addiction and recovery.
[24:44] Paul- What have you learned most about yourself these past 488 days?
Pete- I have learned that I like peace, calm, and serenity. I accepted chaos because that is what I knew. My life is really good, but I made it really bad by a lot of choices that I made.
[28:18] Paul- Have you had cravings, and how do you overcome cravings them?
Pete- My cravings as of today are more “I would like a drink” but more thoughts than cravings. In the beginning I had physical cravings. I don’t have the impulse to drink now. Alcohol was the medicine that fixed everything for me.
[30:25] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
“The most effective way to do it, is to do it.” - Amelia Earhart
Paul discusses his difficulties in quitting smoking, and it’s parallels to quitting drinking. Alcohol is not your friend. Stop drinking cold turkey, and don’t try to a taper off strategy. Rip the Band-Aid off. Get rid of the booze from your house. At this moment, you are not stronger than your addiction. One day at a time. Thinking must be flipped. Quitting drinking is an opportunity to get your life back, not a sacrifice. Write down a list of pros and cons from quitting drinking. Don’t worry about your weight initially. Get through sobriety first. Schedule personal time for exercise. Life happens, and we need to build up our coping skills muscles without alcohol. Accountability is the underlying theme of this entire podcast. Celebrate the milestones, and be happy with your progress.
Leah, with 19 days since her last drink, shares her story.
SHOW NOTES
[11:20] Paul Introduces Leah. My last drink was June 3rd, so my sobriety date is June 4th. I am 34; I have been married since 2010. I have a 6-year-old daughter, and a 2-year-old son. I’m not really sure what I do for fun; I’m still figuring that out.
[13:01] Paul- When did you realize that perhaps you had a drinking problem?
Leah- I grew up with drinkers. My dad will still get wasted and he is in his 70’s. I would watch him pass out at the table at 7:00, and that was normal. It really hit home over the past few years. I would go to bed drunk, and wake up foggy and disconnected from everybody. I didn’t drink to relax; I drank to feel normal again.
[17:35] Paul- With 19 days of sobriety have you noticed an uptick of being mindful and present in the moment?
Leah- Absolutely. I want to give a spin on my story as a mom. It is hard to have moms admit that they are an alcoholic. As a mom, I would watch other moms accomplish so many tasks, and didn’t know when they had time to drink. Now I have all this energy to do things. I took my 2-year-old running.
[20:28] Paul- 19 days ago was something building up? Was there a rock bottom moment?
Leah- I didn’t want to quit drinking. I wanted to change my life to accommodate drinking. For the past 2 years we have had some family issues. I am not the person I wanted to be, and it started to impact my happiness.
[27:58] Paul- What was it like the first 24, 48,72 hours?
Leah- I had thought over the past year that I wasn’t physically addicted. I had a habit, and I had to create a new habit. Now I drink coffee when I get home instead of wine.
[35:08] Paul- If you had an open schedule, would you go to an AA meeting?
Leah- Yes. I am skeptical, but I have gotten to the point where I realized you can get something valuable from whatever is out there. You can make anything work for you if you have that desire.
[39:17] Paul- What’s on your bucket list in sobriety? What do you want to accomplish with this new life.
Leah- Be present, be engaged, and mindful. Get fit, and spend quality time with my family. I would like to wake up earlier, and center myself. Checking in with like-minded people will be important. I would like to add meetings to my resources.
[42:55] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode
Thanks to Kathy Von Lintel for doing the show notes the past 6 months!
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“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”
Paul discusses the webinar, which took place in Café Re, and focused on why taking action is so hard. It’s much better to focus on the action and not the results. We are definitely in a results oriented society. Focus on the journey and not the destination. Success can follow a flawed effort, and failure can follow a flawless effort.
If your happiness is predicated on your success, and if your success is predicated on a specific outcome, then you are setting yourself up for a high likelihood of frustration and disappointment. If you instead let go the need for any particular outcome, you increase your chances for success and contentment. View each attempt as practice for the next attempt.
Dawn with a sobriety date of November 27th 2016, shares her story.
SHOW NOTES
[8:09] Paul Introduces Dawn. I’m single, 42, and I’m from Poole in the U.K. In the daytime I work in accounts, in the evening I’m generally working on my blog. I love going out to dinner with friends, and walking to work. Set myself a challenge to do 10,000 steps a day.
[10:10] Paul- Tell us more about this experiment to live you life without alcohol.
Dawn- The plan was to give up alcohol for a year. I was struck down with flu, and I gave up alcohol then, instead of waiting until the New Year. I decided to write down my journey, and document it on my blog. It’s been filled with positivity.
[13:35] Paul- The way I’ve made it this far in sobriety, and been successful, is that I looking at it as an opportunity instead of a sacrifice. Is that something that you are experiencing as well? You’re looking at this as an opportunity instead of a sacrifice?
Dawn- Yeah, definitely. I don’t think I realized how unhappy I was drinking. I was more of a binge drinker than a drink everyday, drink in the morning type person. My weekend would be properly drinking from Friday through Sunday. Drinking copious amounts of alcohol to the point that I was sick the next day. I don’t see that as a sacrifice, giving that up that kind of mentality, since it was so much binging and purging.
[14:53] Paul- When did you first realize that perhaps that you wanted to quit drinking? Was it something that happened?
Dawn- I was conscience that I was drinking too much in one sitting, not remembering how I got home, kind of dangerous drinking really. If I drove somewhere I would have nothing, instead of a single glass of wine. Because if I had one, it wouldn’t stay at one. Once I started, it was difficult to stop.
[18:06] Paul- Can you tell me about a time when you started drinking and you found the “off switch” a little difficult to find? Was that progressive for you? Did it become harder and harder to stop?
Dawn- Yeah, I was born without an “off switch”. The first time I really remember getting drunk I was probably about 15 or 16. Early twenties living with friends, drinking was a massive part of our lives together. The men that I met were a massive part of that as well. It didn’t spiral rapidly.
[22:16] Paul- How are you staying sober now?
Dawn- It’s a matter of changing everything. I thought life would carry on the same. Everything has changed. I write a post for my blog at least once a week. Trying to keep other people encouraged to carry on. I used to always have a special drink as a reward for hard work. I no longer do that. I have a drink when I am thirsty.
[26:31] Paul- There’s a quote in recovery- You don’t have to change much, you just gotta change everything. Is that how it went down for you?
Dawn- I still struggle with the social side of things. I was the party animal. It’s difficult to go from that to- it’s dark and I’ve got to get home. I find it hard to socialize without alcohol. I’m not good with big crowds. I’ve come to terms that I won’t be that person again.
[28:40] Paul- What have you learned most about yourself in these past 6 months of sobriety?
Dawn- I’ve never really believed in loving yourself. Now I keep saying to people you have to love yourself. I haven’t loved myself for 40 years. I realized I’m not the person I thought I was. In my previous job I wasn’t really helping people and I didn’t think I could. It’s being confident in myself, rather than what other people think.
[31:31] Paul- How do you feel about alcohol being an addictive substance, and perhaps there is no void?
Dawn- For me, the feeling is what was addictive. I was the crier. Alcohol gave me an emotional release. For me it gave me an emotional release, woe is me! For a window of 15 minutes I would feel amazing, then I would go over the top. Then you’re miserable. I think really it was the way it made me feel for 15 minutes before the crying would start.
[33:27] Paul- What are your goals in sobriety?
Dawn- I’ve always wanted to go to Thailand. Stop waiting around for something to happen. I was too tired, and lazy, and in bed. Now I’m full of energy, and I’m going to make it happen on my own in January.
[35:18] Rapid Fire Round
Resources mentioned in this episode:
http://www.hope-rehab-center-thailand.com/
http://www.belvoirfruitfarms.com/
Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free
Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com
“We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”