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Recovery Elevator

It isn't a NO to alcohol, but a YES to a better life! Best selling author Paul Churchill, along with Kristopher Oyen interview people who have stepped away from alcohol in their own lives. Each week this podcast does a deep dive into an exploration of what a booze free life might look like from various perspectives and opinions.  If you are sick and tired of alcohol making you sick and tired, we invite you to listen to Recovery Elevator. Check out what an alcohol free life can look like as others share their own stories of sobriety. If you are sober curious, newly sober, supporting a loved one or living your best life already in recovery, then you are in the right place. This podcast addresses what to do if you’re addicted to alcohol, or if you think you’re an alcoholic. Other topics include, does moderate drinking work, does addiction serve a purpose, what happens to the brain when we quit drinking, should you track sobriety time, is A.A. right for you, spirituality, and more. Similar to other recovery podcasts like This Naked Mind, the Shair Podcast, and the Recovered Podcast, Paul and Kris discuss a topic and then interview someone who has ditched the booze.
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Now displaying: 2019
Dec 30, 2019

Justin took his last drink on November 5, 2018.  This is his story.

Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book!  The book is out!  Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here!  You can get the Audible version here!

On January 1st, 2020 the 4th Café RE group will open. 

2020’ Recovery Elevator LIVE event, Dancing with the Mind, will take place June 11-14 in Denver, CO.  You can find more information about our events here.

On today’s episode Paul talks about manifestation, how you basically create your future with your thoughts.  We all do it, most often unconsciously.  

What is, and isn’t, possible isn’t your business, it’s nature’s business.  Your business is to thrive towards what you want; sobriety, the why.  To create what you want it must be clear in your mind, stay the course, make a commitment to this clear and coherent goal of quitting drinking. 

If you don’t know what you truly want, seek love and connection in the mind with thoughts.  Those two alone will blast through addiction. 

 

[14:25] Paul introduces Justin. 

 

Justin lives in Santa Cruz, CA.  He is a musician and has been playing music for about 22 years.  He is 31 years old.     

 

[17:27] Give us a background on your drinking.

 

Justin says he got introduced to drugs and alcohol around the age of 16.  He says he always wanted just a little bit more than everyone else, and then he started mixing up the drugs and alcohol at the same time. 

 

Shortly after graduating high school Justin’s mother passed away and that sent him down a spiral.  He started to really abuse drugs and alcohol, waking up sick every morning and hardly able to function.  He realized that he needed to get help or he was going to die. 

 

[19:00] How old were you when you realized you needed to get help? 

 

Justin says it was around the age of 24 that he first really realized it, but that it wasn’t until the age of 27 that he really that he had thoughts of really quitting.   At 27 Justin realized he had to stop, and that he couldn’t stop. 

 

[19:43] What happened then?

 

One of Justin’s friends told him about the plant medicine ayahuasca.   Justin felt like he had to options, rehab or try the plant medicine.  He signed up for an ayahuasca ceremony. 

 

Within a couple hours of drinking the plant medicine the first night Justin says he had a life changing experience.  He was taken right to his mother’s death and says she was there with him, holding him.  After that experience that night Justin completely quit everything and was sober for 16 months. 

 

[23:20] What sneaky ideas did the thinking mind put in your head at 16 months?    

 

It was New Year’s Eve and Justin had the thought that he would just drink a couple drinks that night, and go back to his sobriety the next day.  What happened is he got black out drunk, doesn’t remember the night, and woke up sick. 

 

[24:38] How long did you go back out for, and what brought you back?

 

Justin said he went back out for 7 months, and then he did another ayahuasca ceremony, which brought him back.  At the time he felt that he needed the plant medicine to bring him back, but now he’s learning he can access that state of consciousness with yoga and meditation.       

 

[26:15] Get us up to speed to your sobriety date.

 

There very last night Justin drank he told himself that he needed to stop.  He started the night saying he would just drink one pint.  The one pint led to at least 10 more drinks and Justin found himself getting kicked out of the bar.  He got in his car, blacked out drunk, and sped away to the gym he goes to.  He walked into the gym with a 12 pack of beer, went to the locker room and started chugging them, and puking in the lockers.  Justin made a big scene and many other members were complaining about him.  He was asked to leave the gym, or they were calling the cops.  At the end of this night Justin woke up naked, covered in puke, in a bush in his yard, not remembering anything. 

 

[35:39] Talk to us about how you did it?

 

Justin said he called a therapist the next morning, to talk about rehab.  He was going to at least one AA meeting a day the first couple weeks.  He still goes to a meeting about once a week, but doesn’t feel that meetings help him as much as meditation and yoga.  Justin says a recent meditation cruise was the best trip of his life. 

 

[42:25] Talk to us about meditation. 

 

Justin says he feels that his alcohol abuse was led by feeling there was a hole, or emptiness, that he wanted to fill, or that he wasn’t enough.  He wanted to cover up all those thoughts with alcohol.  But now, he’s learned, that instead of covering up the thoughts he doesn’t want, to create the thoughts he does. 

 

[52:30] Rapid Fire Round

 

  1. What’s a lightbulb moment you’ve had on this journey?

 

To love myself.    

 

  1. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you?

 

Meeting all these amazing people that are connected to the heart. 

 

  1. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?

 

Probably water, honestly. 

 

  1. What are some of your favorite resources on this journey?

 

Plant medicine and YouTube.         

 

  1. What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life?

 

Creating more music to help people heal. 

 

  1. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

 

I would say to spend more time connecting to your heart and spirit. 

 

You might need to ditch the booze if...

 

You’re waking up naked, outside your house, on two hits of acid.      

 

Upcoming Events and Retreats. 

Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020

Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind - in Colorado – June 11-14th, 2020

Recovery Elevator in Costa Rica: From Jungle to the Beach - October 8 - 18th, 2020

You can find more information about our events here.

 

Resources mentioned in this episode:

 

Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com

 

“Recovery Elevator – It All Starts from the Inside Out.  We can do this.”

Dec 23, 2019

Val took her last drink on June 26, 2019.  This is her story.

Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book!  The book is out!  Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here!  You can get the Audible version here!

On January 1st, 2020 the 4th Café RE group will open. 

2020’ Recovery Elevator LIVE event, Dancing with the Mind, will take place June 11-14 in Denver, CO.  You can find more information about our events here.

On today’s episode Paul talks about some recent events that he has gone through and why he ended up in Oaxaca, Mexico. 

While meditating this past June, Oaxaca; the name, the city, just showed up.  Shortly after that, Oaxaca started showing up in film, tv, Netflix episodes, the Internet, and a gift he received from his mom was from Oaxaca.  Paul says he then knew he had to travel to Oaxaca. 

Sobriety is your superpower, and an offshoot of that superpower is putting the body and mind in a state of calm. 

 

[12:00] Paul introduces Val. 

 

Val is 30 years old and is from Fort Collins, CO.  She works from home for a software company.  Val is married and is one of 5 children, and also has 4 step siblings.  For fun Val likes to golf, walk her dog, do crafty things, cook and enjoys the outdoors. 

 

[16:00] Give us a background on your drinking.

 

Val started drinking around the age 14/15 in high school, usually just on the weekends.  In college her drinking became almost a daily activity, which was also the time she was prescribed Adderall.   During college Val worked at different bars, and continued working in the restaurant industry after college.  In a way, working at these places, validated Val’s drinking because she didn’t see herself as bad off as those she was serving alcohol to. 

Once out of college her drinking habit changed and she was drinking more at home, with her husband.  This, at the age of 24/25, is also when she started using her Adderall more than it was prescribed.  Adderall kept her productive even with a hangover. 

 

Around this same time Val says she started to realize that she (and her husband) might have a problem with alcohol and they started trying to moderate. 

 

[21:48] Half way through this year you both stopped drinking for a couple weeks, and then both relapsed, fill us in from there. 

 

Val says she was out of town when they relapsed, and that when she came back her husband was ready to be sober.  She said she would do the same, but it was because she was abusing her Adderall and it was keeping her high.  When she would run out of her Adderall she would start drinking again.   

 

[22:55] What was the tipping point for you?

 

Both Val and her husband started going to AA.  Val was going to meetings and meeting with her sponsor, but still drinking.  Her tipping point came one night while throwing out all the bottles she had been hiding.    

 

[25:45] Talk to us about what happened after that moment of clarity?    

 

Val says she stayed up all night and waited for her husband to wake up because she had to tell him she had been drinking.  It was a very emotional moment, he had known she was drinking, but he wanted her to make the decision to stop.  A couple hours later she emailed her doctor and told her what was going on and to stop prescribing her any medication.  Later that same day she also shared with family member and her sponsor. 

 

[27:40] What happened after you burned the ships?

 

Val says it created the accountability she needed, and she could no longer go back.        

 

[30:43] How has it been for you off the ADD meds?

 

Val says she doesn’t get her house as clean as she used to, but that she is a more whole person without them. 

 

[31:56] Talk to us about the last few months, has there been challenges, have you had cravings?

 

Val has had cravings, but says she doesn’t get them as often anymore.  Working from home can be triggering, and that is when Val plays the tape forward. 

 

[32:34] Walk us through a typical day.

 

AA is still a bog part of Val’s journey and she goes to 2-3 meetings a week.  She has worked all the 12 steps with her sponsor and just recently started to sponsor someone herself. 

 

Val tries to get up at the same time every day, take a walk, do a daily reflection, and then jump right into work.  Keeping a routine is really important to Val. 

 

[42:10] Rapid Fire Round

 

  1. What’s a lightbulb moment you’ve had on this journey?

 

That connection with other people is so important.    

 

  1. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you?

 

Every single day has been a memorable moment. 

 

  1. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?

 

LaCroix, any sparkling water, and my bad habit drink is the Redbull Pear Sugar-free. 

 

  1. What are some of your favorite resources on this journey?

 

Any, and all, podcasts I listen to.  I have read Annie Grace’s book, and your book Paul.  And I am an avid believer in AA.       

 

  1. What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life?

 

Right now, my focus is on my job, and hopefully in the near future starting a family. 

 

  1. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

 

If you are on the fence if you should stop drinking, then you should stop drinking. 

 

You might need to ditch the booze if...

 

You are literally drinking in your closet before you attend an AA meeting.      

 

Upcoming Events and Retreats. 

Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020

Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing with the Mind - in Colorado – June 11-14th, 2020

Recovery Elevator in Costa Rica: From Jungle to the Beach - October 8 - 18th, 2020

You can find more information about our events here.

 

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Hello Fresh

Get 9 free meals at www.hellofresh.com/recoveryfresh9 and use the promo code recoveryfresh9

Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com

 

“Recovery Elevator – It All Starts From the Inside Out.  We can do this.”

Dec 16, 2019

Wendy took her last drink on June 4, 2017.  This is her story.

Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book!  The book is out!  Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here!  You can get the Audible version here!

On January 1st, 2020 the 4th Café RE group will open. 

There will be 2 in-person meetups in Australia this December.  If you would like more info or would like to RSVP please email info@recoveryelevator.com

On today’s episode Paul talks about incessantly thinking in the future, why we do that, what that leads to, and how to put that thinking beast back into the cage. 

When we are living in the future, we start to feel stress.  Once we recognize, and become aware of how often we are future tripping, we can no longer ignore it and the deprograming has already begun.  We deprogram first, then we reprogram. 

 

[13:45] Paul introduces Wendy. 

 

Wendy is 57 years old, married and lives in Sun City Center, Florida.  She has two sons and one grandson.  She works as a critical care nurse which she loves.  For fun Wendy loves to be out in nature, exercise, walk, and do yoga.  She also has a corgi and participates in dog shows. 

 

[21:45] Give us a background on your drinking.

 

Wendy took her first drink at the age of 13.  After her parents split up, she became her dad’s drinking buddy.  She went from using food to stuff down her feelings, to using beer.  This continued through her teens, twenties and into her thirties.  But it was escalating and she was needing more and more to catch that buzz. 

 

[24:20] Was there a moment that you recognized it was ramping up?

 

Wendy says she definitely knew that it was getting problematic and that she was having side effects from it.  She says that although she didn’t get anything like a DUI, alcohol was taking up too much real estate in her mind.   

 

[25:55] When did you realize it was ramping up?

 

Wendy says it was in her early 50s.  She didn’t really have a rock bottom moment but says she woke up one day and said, “I am done.”  She says it was almost like she flipped a switch in her head.    

 

[39:00] What techniques work for you when you are feeling anxiety?    

 

When Wendy first quit drinking she started going to a phycologist, who really helped her in the beginning.  One of the things she taught her was HALT, and to never let herself get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired.  Wendy says she still follows that to this day. 

 

[42:20] How did you get through the first few months?

 

Wendy says she read a whole lot of quit lit.  She joined a support group on Facebook.  She has a sobriety tool box and she keeps full.      

 

[47:00] What are the differences between year one and year two?

 

Wendy says that year one really felt like survival, in a lot of ways, and how to be this new person.  Learning how to deal with things without alcohol as a buffer. 

 

Wendy says that the cool thing about year two is that so many of those triggers start to fall away.  She says she doesn’t have the voices whispering to her, telling her how great it would be to drink. 

 

[51:15] Rapid Fire Round

 

  1. What’s a lightbulb moment you’ve had on this journey?

 

That there is an entire world that doesn’t revolve around alcohol. 

 

  1. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you?

 

The sunrises, being up with the sun and making that connection that life can be a beautiful thing without alcohol. 

 

  1. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?

 

LaCroix sparkling water. 

 

  1. What are some of your favorite resources on this journey?

 

Journaling as I mentioned before, I like coloring, artwork and gardening.  Having that tool box available in my mind.      

 

  1. What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life?

 

Definitely more traveling. 

 

  1. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

 

If you think you have a problem, you probably do. 

 

You might need to ditch the booze if...

 

You pee down your leg, at a gala, at a fancy hotel, because you’re so drunk you can’t wait to get up to the room, and you just act like nothing is wrong.      

 

Upcoming retreats:

Upcoming Events and Retreats. 

Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020

Recovery Elevator LIVE: Dancing With the Mind -  in Colorado – June 11-14th, 2020

You can find more information about our events here.

 

Resources mentioned in this episode:

 

This episode is brought to you by the smart shopping assistant Honey. Get Honey for free at www.joinhoney.com/elevator . Honey, the smart shopping assistant that saves you time and money when you're shopping online

 

 

Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com

 

“Recovery Elevator – It All Starts From the Inside Out.  We can do this.”

Dec 9, 2019

Torey took his last drink on October 9, 2017.  This is his story.

Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book!  The book is out!  Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here!  You can get the Audible version here!

On January 1st, 2020 the 4th Café RE group will open. 

There will be 2 in-person meetups in Australia this December.  If you would like more info or would like to RSVP please email info@recoveryelevator.com

On today’s episode Paul talks about what happens when a loved one quits drinking.  First off, relationships are tricky even when not exposed to addiction turmoil. 

It is important to remember that both parties need healing.  Here is some advice for the problem drinker in the relationship; remember communication is key and ask for help.  Here is some advice for the normal drinker in the relationship; first off, you can’t change the problem drinker, make sure you protect yourself and your energies, set boundaries. 

 

[13:30] Paul introduces Torey. 

 

Torey is 47 years old and lives in Bainbridge, WA and has 2 kids.  He has been married since 2000.   For fun Torey like fabricating and has been spending time finishing a lot of projects.  He enjoys spending time with his family and going to school functions. 

 

[18:00] Give us a background on your drinking.

 

Torey grew up in a small Wisconsin town and in high school drank on the weekends because that’s what kids did.   After high school Torey continued binge drinking during his Coast Guard years.   After the Coast Guard Torey went to work in the maritime field and his drinking continued. 

 

Through the mid-nineties to 2010 the daily drinking continued and progressed. 

 

[22:40] What happened when you realized there wasn’t another kind of alcohol to switch to, to feel better?

 

Torey says his drinking was starting to be noticed and talked about.  He realized that his kids had probably never seen him without a drink in his hands.  When he started to hide his alcohol, he realized he might have a problem.  He tried to moderate, which never worked.  In 2015 things really ramped up.  Torey was depressed, waking up so hungover that he was calling in sick, avoiding things at work, and the connection with his family was dwindling. 

 

[25:40] When you realized you weren’t going to be able to make yourself stop did you seek outside sources? 

 

Torey says he knew he couldn’t fix things himself and that he needed to start listening to people around him.  On October 9, 2017, Torey’s wife made an appointment for them to see a counselor that knew about addiction. 

 

[28:20] Talk to us about that day. 

 

Torey says he knew where he could get the outside support, that he knew about AA, but didn’t go to a meeting for a couple days.  He started listening to podcasts.  He read Annie Grace’s book, This Naked Mind, and said that’s where it all came together for him.       

 

[32:30] When did you reach the moment when you thought, “I might be able to do this.”?

 

Torey says it was around day 14, he was out of town for work and looking for an AA meeting.  The feeling that he had something in common with the 8-10 people at the meeting made it all click.    

 

[35:50] What have been some of the challenges you’ve faced and resources you’ve implemented along your journey?

 

Torey said his first hurdle was avoiding people that he worked with that still drank heavily, and when he couldn’t avoid them, he had a plan in place.  He made sure he had things to do in the evening.  He found an AA home group and was going weekly.  When he would have a craving, he would follow the drink, knowing that it would never end with just that one drink.

 

[44:48] How did it feel when you reached the conclusion that alcohol no longer defines you?

 

Torey says he felt like he could be himself again.  He feels like he can be his true self.      

 

[47:35] Rapid Fire Round

 

  1. What’s a lightbulb moment you’ve had on this journey?

 

When after having a panic attack he had to be honest with the doctor about how much he drank.    

 

  1. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you?

 

Anytime I can go on vacation with the family. 

 

  1. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?

 

Definitely LaCroix, but I’ll drink any sparkling water. 

 

  1. What are some of your favorite resources on this journey?

 

Café RE, this group has been awesome, the AA community where I live, and reading more and more.    

 

  1. What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life?

 

Finishing some major yard art I have started. 

 

  1. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

 

Dig deep.  If you are thinking you might have a problem, you probably do.  Listen to those around you, ask for guidance and help. 

 

You might need to ditch the booze if...

 

A friend had given me a bottle of vodka with a bunch of peppercorns in it, and it was the last alcohol in the house and it wasn’t going to go down the drain.    

 

Upcoming retreats:

Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020

RE LIVE in Colorado – June 11-14th, 2020

You can find more information about this event here

 

Resources mentioned in this episode:

 Skillshare  - for two free months of instruction, go to www.skillshare.com/elevator

Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com

 

“Recovery Elevator – It All Starts From the Inside Out.  We can do this.”

Dec 2, 2019

Dee took her last drink on January 17, 2019.  This is her story.

Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book!  The book is out!  Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here!  You can get the Audible version here!

On January 1st, 2020 the 4th Café RE group will open. 

There will be 2 in-person meetups in Australia this December.  If you would like more info or would like to RSVP please email info@recoveryelevator.com

On today’s episode Paul talks about PAWS, or what he refers to as ‘healing symptoms.  You can find a YouTube video on these healing symptoms, or PAWS, here.  This period of experiencing these healing symptoms usually lasts anywhere from 3 – 6 months, but could last a little longer. 

You have 2 choices.  The 1st choice is to keep drinking.  With this choice there will be a painful progression and whatever emotions and physical repercussions you’re experiencing now will only be enhanced in time. 

The 2nd choice is to quit drinking and embark on the most heroic journey.  This choice gives you options, and you don’t have to decide today. 

 

[14:50] Paul introduces Dee. 

 

Dee is 50 years old and recently moved to Albuquerque, NM.  She works as a purchaser for the Federal Government.  For fun Dee enjoys walking, hiking, biking, and meeting up with her fellow sober peeps. 

 

[17:20] Give us a background on your drinking.

 

Dee was first introduced to alcohol by her parents as a child during the holidays.  With high school came beer.  Between high school and the age of 21 Dee really didn’t do much drinking.  21 years old rolls around and Dee got really good at drinking and socializing.  Alcohol seemed to fix her feelings of not being enough.  Always a tomboy Dee felt the guys didn’t really take an interest in her so the alcohol helped her become more flirtatious.   

At the age of 25 Dee became, what she called, a pro at drinking.  Dee’s dad got sick and passed, this prompted her to switch from drinking beer to hard liquor, thinking this would stop her from becoming an alcoholic.  A month later Dee’s husband died.  Dee says she dove into the booze at this time and continued to drink heavily for years. 

 

[23:15] Do you feel that you properly grieved?

 

Dee says she did not, that she didn’t know how to properly grieve.  Alcohol helped her get through this time in her life, when she was in so much pain she didn’t want to live.  It allowed her to sleep and it allowed her to manage getting up every day. 

 

[25:25] What role did alcohol play in your 30s and 40s? 

 

Dee was living in Florida and back to drinking “normal”.  At 33 Dee moved to Atlanta and decided she needed to quit drinking, so she did.  She quit for 7 months.  She started going to AA, and although she didn’t feel it was for her she continued to go because that is what she knew to do at the time. 

 

After an offer of some free Dom Pérignon, Dee began drinking again.  Fast forward to when Dee first joined Café RE.  This was when her drinking really started to escalate, in 2018.  Dee was in an unhappy marriage and although she didn’t want to drink, she couldn’t stop.  Dee first joined Café RE in June 2018 and then thought she had her drinking under control and could moderate.  She quit RE and drank for another 4 months before rejoining in January 2019. 

 

[31:50] Was there an emotional rock bottom?

 

Dee says she fought with God, her higher power, over this for 25+ years.  She says it was exhausting having one foot in church and one foot doing the drinking thing.  So, Dee made the decision to face life without the alcohol.       

 

[38:15] You’re entering the scary and uncomfortable area in life, called the unknown, how is this going?

 

Dee says it is going well and she is not afraid.    

 

[39:40] Has there been cravings?

 

Having the mindset that drinking is not an option has helped Dee.  Dee has a lot of options to reach out to people when she needs to, and she uses them.  Connection and community are key.  Dee is slowly building connections locally, in a healthy way.    

 

[41:50] What is something that you learned at the RE Bozeman Retreat that you can implement in your journey?

 

Dee says the meditation and the breathwork were the two big things for her, they have helped her slow down and stay in the present.    

 

[45:00] What are your thoughts on relapse? 

 

Dee says she hates that word.  That is breaks her heart when she sees people posting that they have relapsed, and not because she thinks less of them, but because she knows how hard it is to pick yourself back up and stack days. 

 

[47:15] Rapid Fire Round

 

  1. What’s a lightbulb moment you’ve had on this journey?

 

You can do it. 

 

  1. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you?

 

Nashville and Bozeman. 

 

  1. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?

 

Waterloo Sparkling Water, Mango flavored. 

 

  1. What are some of your favorite resources on this journey?

 

Well, the number one is Café RE.     

 

  1. What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life?

Writing a book. 

 

  1. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

 

Believe in yourself. 

 

You might need to ditch the booze if...

 

You are in Ireland, flying solo, and you walk into a bar in Dublin, and there’s all guys.  One of the guys proposes to you, puts his ring on your finger, you go to the restroom and the ring falls off in the toilet, you have to fish it out, and you have to break up with him. 

 

Upcoming retreats:

Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020

RE LIVE in Colorado – June 11-14th, 2020

You can find more information about this event here

 

Resources mentioned in this episode:

 

Honey

This episode is brought to you by the smart shopping assistant Honey. Get Honey for free at www.joinhoney.com/elevator . Honey, the smart shopping assistant that saves you time and money when you're shopping online

 

Hello Fresh

Get 9 free meals at www.hellofresh.com/recoveryfresh9 and use the promocode recoveryfresh9

 

 

Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

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“Recovery Elevator – It All Starts From the Inside Out.  We can do this.”

Nov 25, 2019

Lauren took her last drink on November 17, 2018.  This is her story.

Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book!  The book is out!  Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here!  You can get the Audible version here!

On today’s episode Paul talks about the ‘how’, and says not to worry about the how you are going to quit drinking.  Once you know the ‘why’ you want to quit drinking the how always solves itself. 

If you need help coming up with the why, most likely you have an encyclopedia of evidence behind you.  It could be the intense emotional dips, depression, anxiety, letting yourself or those you love down.  Put that why to work in your favor. 

 

[13:30] Paul introduces Lauren. 

 

Lauren is 38 years old.  She lives in Sharon, Mass, and is adjunct faculty at a university in Boston in their School of Social Work.  Lauren is married and has 3 children.  For fun Lauren enjoys spending time outside, listening to LIVE music and hanging out with friends. 

 

[15:47] Give us a background on your drinking.

 

Lauren says alcohol set up shop in her life while she was attending the University of Mass.  In 2007 while she was finishing up her Masters in Social Work, she came across a binge drinking scale and realized that she had surpassed all female scales and was binge drinking like a man.  This was the first time the Lauren felt, in her gut, that something might be wrong. 

 

Instead of listening to this bodily cue Lauren pushed it away and ignored it. 

 

In 2009 Lauren met her wife and saw a life she wanted and made some changes in terms of her drinking. 

 

[19:00] Talk to me about those changes that you made?

 

Lauren says she just naturally toned it down a little bit.  Her partner had children so they started doing more family things.  In 2011 they were married.  Lauren says that, at this time, her drinking was progressing and taking up more and more space in her life. 

 

In 2013 there was a hard stoop in Lauren’s drinking, during her pregnancy, and she gave birth to their daughter.  Even though there was this break in her drinking things picked up right where she left off. 

 

[20:25] What happens next? 

 

Lauren is a stay at home mom and her drinking escalates.  She wasn’t isolating, she joined a mom’s group, and really didn’t think she had a drinking problem because she wasn’t drinking during the day.  Lauren says that she started using drinking as a reward.  She was blacking out more frequently, her relationships started suffering and Lauren says that, clearly, her addiction had the upper hand. 

 

[21:40] When did you start to realize there was a problem?

 

November 20, 2018, they got a phone call, one that you never hope to receive.  Lauren’s stepson exited his car on a busy roadway and was struck by an oncoming vehicle.  They soon learned that his injuries were far too significant for treatment and had to prepare to say goodbye.  All the emotions and feelings she had been dousing in alcohol over the years came to the surface.       

 

[23:40] What happened on November 20th?

 

Lauren says she somehow allowed all those emotions in fully and was unexplainably present in that hospital room.  As the hours passed, she began to notice that along with all the pain and sadness in that hospital room there was something beautiful happening.  Lauren says she felt gratitude, and felt it in every fiber of her body. 

 

[30:50] What happened after that first AA meeting?

 

Lauren say she stuck it out with AA and is still working the steps and feels that there is great value to the steps. 

 

[31:30] What was life like after that?

 

Lauren says the first weeks were really hard, but that all her relationships improved. 

 

[37:38] Talk to us about your experience with the breathwork session we had at the RE Bozeman Retreat.

 

Lauren says she is glad she didn’t know anything about breathwork prior to the session so she just followed directions and was breathing like they said to.  Lauren experienced her stepson, Michael, visiting and talking to her during the session. 

 

[48:00] What’s on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life? 

 

Travel and showing our daughter the world.

 

[49:00] Rapid Fire Round

 

  1. What’s a lightbulb moment you’ve had on this journey?

 

That it’s not about alcohol anymore. 

 

  1. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you?

 

The fact that I have memories.  Everyday with my family is memorable. 

 

  1. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?

 

Pamplemousse LaCroix

 

  1. What are some of your favorite resources on this journey?

 

Podcasts…Recovery Elevator, Recovery Happy Hour, and I do a lot of reading on The Temper.   

 

  1. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

 

You’re worth it.  You can do it. 

 

You might need to ditch the booze if...

 

You add Tito’s to your spiked seltzer. 

 

Upcoming retreats:

Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020

You can find more information about this event here

 

Resources mentioned in this episode:

 

 

Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com

 

“Recovery Elevator – It All Starts From the Inside Out.  We can do this.”

Nov 18, 2019

Patrick took his last drink on January 1, 2019.  This is his story.

Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book!  The book is out!  Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here!  You can get the Audible version here!

A new Café RE group will be launching January 1, 2020!  Also, Recovery Elevator Meet-ups in Australia have been scheduled for December!  Be sure to check the events calendar or the weekly email. 

Paul is currently working on a meditation course, that he hopes to have out by early next year…warning, you may just might fall in love with yourself. 

On today’s episode Paul talks about sharing and owning our story.   This can be therapeutic, but also, if done too many times, dangerous.  Why?  Your story becomes your future.  How do we stop this?  We learn to protect us from our thoughts.  When you take your energies and thoughts off your past addictions and traumas they can disappear.  One way to do this is through meditation.

 

[11:15] Paul introduces Patrick. 

 

Patrick was born and raised in Boston.  He is a high school teacher and teaches religion and history.  He is married and has a 6-year-old daughter.  For fun Patrick likes long distance hiking, car camping and road trips.  

 

[14:20] Give us a background on your drinking.

 

Patrick says he accepted that he was an alcoholic at the age of 18 when he entered the seminary.  He got a fake ID at the age of 16 and was going into liquor stores at 16 and buying his own liquor.  At the age of 18 Patrick started going to AA meetings.  Patrick started drinking again, about the age of 29, and only beer. 

 

The next couple of years the beer became scotch, then vodka.  After about 2 weeks of consuming vodka for 2 weeks Patrick contemplated suicide.  When his baby was only 2 weeks old Patrick went to the hospital.  He is 45 years old.  He is checked into the hospital for 9 days to detox.  A year later…picking up his 1-year chip at an AA meeting, he had already had a couple drinks before the meeting. 

 

 

[19:35] What happened next?

 

Patrick and his wife decided they were going to have a baby.  Wasn’t what he planned…but he started hitting the bottle hard.  He started hiding bottles all over.  Patrick wrapped bottles in his hospital bag to get through the birth of his child. 

 

[33:50] What was different this time? 

 

Patrick says he reached a turning point, he could stay on the couch drinking scotch and vodka and have his wife leave him, or live the life he knew he wanted.      

 

[39:45] How’d you do it??

 

Like a bird…worry about tomorrow, tomorrow.  Be fully present in every moment.     

 

[43:50] What are some of the lessons you have learned about yourself along the way?

 

Patrick says he is discovering who he’s always been.   

 

[45:30] Were there cravings?

 

Patrick says he has had cravings in the past but not the past 9 months.    

 

[47:05] How has your life changed without alcohol?

 

Patrick says he is fully present with his wife and with his daughter…and fully present with himself.     

 

[47:50] Rapid Fire Round

 

  1. What’s a lightbulb moment you’ve had on this journey?

 

Honesty.  I lied mostly to myself, and then when I stopped it got better. 

 

  1. What is a gift that sobriety has given you?

 

Camping on the river with my daughter. 

 

  1. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?

 

Polar Mango Cherry Bliss.  

 

  1. What are some of your favorite resources on this journey?

 

Podcasts…Recovery Elevator, This Naked Mind, Recovery Revolution, I go to AA and volunteer at a detox center. 

 

  1. What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life?

 

A cross country trip with my 6-year-old.    

 

  1. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

 

Brutal honesty with self. 

 

You might need to ditch the booze if...

 

You shoot vodka nips on your way to your 1-year AA anniversary. 

 

Upcoming retreats:

Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020

You can find more information about this event here

 

Resources mentioned in this episode:

 

 

Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com

 

“Recovery Elevator – It All Starts From the Inside Out.  We can do this.”

Nov 11, 2019

Jody took her last drink on October 20, 2015.  This is her story.

Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book!  The book is out!  Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here!  You can get the Audible version here!

On today’s episode Paul shares with the listeners the many (12) steps, and team members, it takes to put a podcast episode together.  And listeners…you are part of the team! 

Paul also covers an article he came across that talks about the relationship between alcohol and antisocial behavior is well documented.  You can find a link to the article here.

 

The question is, can we blame our bad behavior on the alcohol?  The study in this article says no.  Alcohol, according to the study, does not change your personality.  Drunken you has the same moral compass as sober you. 

 

[10:20] Paul introduces Jody. 

 

Jody is 30 years old and lives in Orlando, Florida.  She is a flight attendant and a mindset and transformation coach.  Jody is not married and does not have any kids, yet.  She loves to travel, read, cook, and do yoga. 

 

[13:25] Give us a background on your drinking.

 

Jody was introduced to alcohol her freshman year of college.  She found that alcohol helped her social anxiety.  After graduating from college, she thought she would leave the binge drinking behind.  That didn’t happen.  She continued to drink and smoke and have blackouts, and this frustrated Jody. 

 

[17:15] Can you dive deeper into your frustration?

 

She moved back home and that addiction followed her.  It helped her find people that made her feel normal.   Once she decided she wanted to become a flight attendant she knew she would have to stop smoking because they drug test you.  So, she did, and she got the job.  During this time Jody started drinking more and drinking alone. 

 

[22:40] Get us up to speed, did you try to moderate, was there a rock bottom moment? 

 

When she started drinking alone, she tried to make rules and moderate, always breaking the rules.  The voice inside got really loud and she started to believe that the world would be a better place without her.  She felt her problem was too big.  This is when she started to listen to the Recovery Elevator podcast.  She got a new therapist and at the age of 27 she identified herself as an alcoholic, a word she does not use anymore. 

 

[24:30] Tell me your thinking on not using the word alcoholic anymore?

 

Jody feels very passionate about this…this feels it’s a very dangerous and harmful term to use.  

 

[27:40] Bring us up to October 20, 2015.

 

Jody says she was just sick and tired or being sick and tired.    

 

[28:20] What happened after that?

 

Jody says she’s pretty much did it on her own.   She took it one day at a time.  Jody structured her days and it helped her stay sober and grounded.   

 

[29:15] In the first couple months did you experience cravings, and how’d you get past them?

 

Jody says she made a really firm decision that she didn’t want to drink and she didn’t experience cravings. 

 

[30:20] Share with us your biggest life lessons during the last 4 years. 

 

Jody’s first year was dedicated to loving herself.  Year 2, 3, & 4 was all about mindset.  She changed the way she viewed what had happened and how alcohol was viewed in out society.  This ultimately made her leave AA. 

 

[33:40] Tell us about being a Mindset and Transformation Coach.

 

About a year ago Jody decided she wanted to do something to help others that want to be alcohol free.  There is nothing to be ashamed of. 

 

[38:25] You are loud and proud on social media, what has been the response?

 

Jody says her posts are never about her, they are about the people that need to hear it.  About sharing her story for those that need to hear that message. 

 

[43:30] Where can people get in contact with you? 

 

You can find Jody on Instagram here

 

[44:00] Rapid Fire Round

 

  1. What’s a lightbulb moment you’ve had on this journey?

 

Realizing I am not my addiction, I am not what I have experienced. 

 

  1. What is a gift that sobriety has given you?

 

Being fully present at all times.    

 

  1. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?

 

Recently I had a spicy AF jalapeno margherita.  

 

  1. What are some of your favorite resources on this journey?

 

Annie Grace’s This Naked Mind, Alan Carr’s The Easy Way to Quit Drinking for Women, this podcast, and anyone that is loud and proud on Instagram. 

 

  1. What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life?

 

I want to help as many people as I can through coaching. 

 

  1. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

 

Be open, and committed.  Stay curious. 

 

You might need to ditch the booze if...

 

If you use the layering technique in your recycling bin.    

 

Upcoming retreats:

Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020

You can find more information about this event here

 

Resources mentioned in this episode:

 

Connect with Jody via Instagram @jodyventura

 

You Can’t Blame Alcohol for Acting Like an A-hole Anymore, Say Scientists

https://www.inverse.com/article/58809-alcohol-study-does-it-change-your-personality

 

Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com

 

“Recovery Elevator – It All Starts From the Inside Out.  We can do this.”

Nov 4, 2019

Wendall took his last drink on June 13, 2019.  This is his story.

Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book!  The book is out!  Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here!  You can get the Audible version here!

On today’s episode Paul talks about the 5 responses you get when you tell people you don’t drink.  He also discusses what you do when you accidently post on social media that you no longer drink. 

The 5 responses: 

70% of the time you hear total support, “Wow that’s so cool, because I want you to be the best version of you.”

 

20% of the time the response will be that the person you told has a family member or close friend that has also quit drinking alcohol. 

 

5% of the time you will get bombarded with questions as to why you don’t drink. 

 

4% of the time they will be supportive but will no longer be a part of your life, drinking was the reason they were. 

 

1% of the time they will not be supportive of your decision to ditch the booze. 

 

[22:30] Paul introduces Wendall. 

 

Wendall lives in Toronto Ontario, Canada.  He is 42 years old and is a director, producer, and cinematographer of documentaries.  Wendall is married and has a 6-year-old son.  For fun Wendall enjoys getting out in nature. 

 

[23:35] Give us a background on your drinking.

 

Wendall says he didn’t really start drinking until he was in university, about 1996.   Up until his late 30’s he was mostly a social drinker.  Things shifted then.  He was working a lot, traveling a lot, was stressed.  Drinking became habitual at this time; it was both a reward and a stress reliever.  With added responsibilities, came anxiety.  Drinking then became a coping mechanism.  In 2018 Wendall realized that all the rules of moderation he had tried to put in place weren’t working. 

 

About 6 months ago binge drinking really started to rear its ugly head.  He finally decided he couldn’t drink anymore. 

 

[34:00] How did it feel after you set the bottle down?

 

It felt like every new beginning comes from some others beginnings end.

 

[35:25] What was it like living life without alcohol the first few days and weeks? 

 

Because his drinking was habitual Wendall realized he would have to create new habits.  He started listening to recovery podcasts.  His first 30 days was done pretty much in solitude.  Instead of having his normal evening drinks he would listen to a podcast and read a few chapters. 

 

[39:20] How long did it take for the new habits to take hold?

 

Wendall says it only took about 14 days because he wanted it so badly. 

 

[43:00] Have you told your film crew or others in your industry?

 

Wendall has told his film crew as the situation came up, he simply tells them he just doesn’t drink. 

 

[48:24] This project, Sober House, showed up on your plate when you were also exploring a life without alcohol?

 

Wendall says it showed up in and around the time he was having some internal conflict with his drinking.  Listening to the kids in this film talk about how much alcohol has impacted their lives was like the hammer hitting the nail square on the head. 

 

[51:52] How can the listeners find out more information about this project? 

 

They can go to www.soberhouse.ca , they can follow us on Instagram and Twitter at soberhousefilm.

 

 

[53:27] Rapid Fire Round

 

  1. What’s a lightbulb moment you’ve had on this journey?

 

Moments with my son are way better without a hangover. 

 

  1. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you?

 

While filming in the Yukon and coming out of the tent in the morning, mist rising off the lake, the sun streaming down and the mountain revealing itself. 

 

  1. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?

 

Does ice cream count?  

 

  1. What are some of your favorite resources on this journey?

 

I really dialed back into my love of reading.  The Recovery Elevator podcast, I binged that pretty hard the first 30 days, same with Recovery Happy Hour. 

 

  1. What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life?

 

To really have great experiences with my family.   

 

  1. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

 

I have 2, the first one is to listen to your body.  The second one is listen to your body. 

 

  1. You might need to ditch the booze if...

 

If you know where every liquor store is in every major airport in your country. 

 

Upcoming retreats:

Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020

You can find more information about this event here

 

Resources mentioned in this episode:

 

Sober House film

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oERDuy1WxgU&t=72s

 

Honey
This episode is brought to you by the smart shopping assistant Honey. Get Honey for free at  www.joinhoney.com/elevator. Honey, the smart shopping assistant that saves you time and money when you're shopping online. 

 

Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com

 

“Recovery Elevator – It All Starts From the Inside Out.  We can do this.”

Oct 28, 2019

Jay took his last drink on Decemeber 26, 2018.  This is his story.

Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book!  The book is out!  Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here!  You can get the Audible version here!

On today’s episode Paul talks about a response to a post on Reddit.  Not knowing exactly what the initial post said, Paul guesses it was something about the poster wanting to ditch the booze, but not being able to. 

The response…” You know what, you‘re heading in the right direction to win.  You want to stop.  You literally cannot win without that.  I’ve lost friends to booze and none of them wanted to stop.  Wanting to stop provides friction.  It adds resistance to drinking, which has the effect of reducing your intake.  Maybe you start an hour later in the day.  Maybe you drink one glass less.  That helps.  It makes it easier to apply more friction in the future.” 

The intention to stop is the most important thing. 

 

[9:44] Paul introduces Jay. 

 

Jay is 37 years old and grew up in upstate New York.  He has lived in North Carolina for the last 9 years.  He has a full-time sales job and a full time real-estate side hustle.  He enjoys mountain biking and golf.  He is married. 

 

[11:05] Give us a background on your drinking.

 

In high school Jay had fun after the Friday night football games.  In college Jay partied on Friday and Saturday nights.  He was a weekend warrior during his twenties.  He relocated in 2010 and started experiencing problems that he couldn’t solve.  This is when alcohol really made it’s appearance. 

 

 [14:40] Do you feel your sports background backfired when it came to quitting drinking?

 

Yes.  Jay says he ran into a set of problems that he could not out hustle, could not out grind. 

[15:30] Early thirties and anxiety is creeping up, take it from there. 

 

Rather than talking about it with the people he loved he internalized it.  2016-2018 Jay says he was a pressure cooker.  He was never saying no, never setting boundaries.

 

[17:50] Did you ever try to moderate? 

 

Around 2016 Jay recognized that alcohol was getting out of control. He would go 30-40 days AF a few times a year.  After trying to fight a stranger at a party Jay knew the gig was up.  He later had a conversation with his best friend and told him that he thought he had a drinking problem.  Jay says that in that moment he felt a weight off his shoulders. 

 

[27:24] What did you find when you went internal?

 

Jay learned that he’s a people pleaser, that he didn’t know what boundaries were, and having his emotional bids minimized really hurt. 

 

[32:20] How’d you do it?

 

Jay says ever since the moment he told his friend that he has a drinking problem he has not experienced cravings.  He has not attended AA, and does not like the term ‘alcoholic’. 

 

[33:35] What’s been the hardest thing you’ve gone through in sobriety? 

 

Jay says he’s gone through some events where there has been a lot of drinking and when people asked him why he wasn’t drinking his reply was, “I have goals so big that I and to give up some things.” 

 

[37:15] What advice can you give to guys out there about emotions?

 

There is no courage without vulnerability. 

 

[41:05] Rapid Fire Round

 

  1. What’s a lightbulb moment you’ve had on this journey?

 

Finally digging down to what was causing the sadness and now having an awareness of that. 

 

  1. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you?

 

Those moments where this incredible peace overcomes you. 

 

  1. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?

 

I drink coffee and water.  

 

  1. What are some of your favorite resources on this journey?

 

Writing in my journal every morning has been a tremendous help. 

 

  1. What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life?

 

Fly to California and drive the Pacific Coast Highway from end to end. 

 

  1. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

 

Have the courage to be honest with yourself and with the people closest to you. 

 

  1. You might need to ditch the booze if...

 

If you self-impose a rule of only two 24 oz. Twisted Teas and then switch to Miller Lights because you’re worried about cavities.   

 

 

Upcoming retreats:

Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020

You can find more information about this event here

 

Resources mentioned in this episode:

 

 

Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com

 

“Recovery Elevator – It All Starts From the Inside Out.  We can do this.”

Oct 21, 2019

Gracie took her last drink on September 29, 2018.  This is her story.

Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book!  The book is out!  Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here!  You can get the Audible version here!

On today’s episode Paul talks about connection.  Human connection is an innate need to create a social bond with others. 

For those that found a temporary connection with alcohol and are now trying to ditch the booze now find them facing disconnection head on.  You are listening to the inner voice that isn’t craving alcohol, but is craving connection. 

How to connect…ask for connection every single morning.  Aim for 50% to be external connections, and the other 50% internal.  If a connection is built within, we can go through difficult times in life and still feel that warmth.  If you address the internal connection the external connection solves itself.

SHOW NOTES

 

[14:25] Paul introduces Gracie. 

 

Gracie grew up in the Midwest and is currently living in Chicago.  She is 32 years old and is a nurse.  Gracie loves camping, backpacking, traveling abroad doing medical trips, and has recently gotten into rock and minerals.  She lives with her boyfriend, who is 4 years sober. 

 

[22:55] Give us a background on your drinking.

 

Gracie didn’t start drinking until she was 19 years old and off at college.  Her drinking didn’t get bad until age 21/22 when she was in the Peace Corp and was partying hard with the other volunteers.  In her mid-twenties she was binge drinking on the weekends and coming home and drinking by herself.  She was experiencing a lot of loneliness and anxiety at the time, so would drink.  By Gracie’s late 20s she was drinking most nights and having blackouts. 

 

Gracie says she had a lot of ‘soft bottoms’ and it wasn’t until she was about 28 years old that it occurred to her that she needed to stop drinking.  It was at this time that Gracie was starting to read self-help books and was interested in spiritual growth.  As she started getting into medication retreats and plant medicine, she says she kept getting the message, from her heart, that her drinking was holding her back. 

 

[37:45] How did it feel when you started to feel your feelings?

 

Gracie says she was afraid in the beginning, that she was even afraid to feel a feeling coming on.  She says meditation helped her let the feelings come and pass.  Gracie says it took months for her to learn to trust that a feeling wouldn’t swallow her whole. 

 

[41:45] Was there a rock bottom before you quit drinking?

 

Gracie says there was a lot of heartbreaking moments.  She was functioning but her relationships were suffering.  She says there was this constant low-grade feeling of disfunction. 

 

[44:50] Share with us how you did it. 

 

Podcasts and books were a big part of her getting sober.  For maintenance she uses her sobriety tracker on her phone.  She is running a lot and taking her health more seriously. 

 

[46:55] Do you have an in-person community that you meet up with?

 

Gracie says she does not, but that she thinks that may be what is next.  Meetings have never been part of her journey but she says that may be her next step.    

 

[48:12] What was the response when you posted on social media?

 

Gracie says the response was so supportive and it proved to be a very good thing for her.    

 

[50:25] Rapid Fire Round

 

  1. What’s a lightbulb moment you’ve had on this journey?

 

I guess when I first heard, “stop obsessing about the word alcoholic and just look at what drinking is doing in your life.”. 

 

  1. What is a gift sobriety has given you?

 

So much energy.

 

  1. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?

 

I love gingerale and I love this Jamaican drink called Ting.

 

  1. What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life?

 

I’m starting some trainings and certifications to become a flight nurse.

 

  1. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

 

Feel your feelings and love yourself.  Make sobriety the most important thing in your life. 

 

  1. You might have a drinking problem if...

 

You are an avid camper and want to achieve the perfect amount of hydration with drunkenness so you mix vodka with flavored Smart Water and just end up making a total ass of yourself. 

 

 

Upcoming retreats:

Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020

You can find more information about this event here

 

Resources mentioned in this episode:

 

Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com

 

“Recovery Elevator – We took the elevator down; we have to take the stairs back up. 

We can do this.”

Oct 14, 2019

Patty took her last drink on July 19, 2017.  This is her story.

Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book!  The book is out!  Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here!  You can get the Audible version here!

On today’s episode Paul talks about the two main sources of unhappiness and how hope is sending us barreling off a cliff.  On the surface hope is great.  But where is it located on a timeline?  In the future, not in the now. 

If hope isn’t serving us, then what?  Throttle back on the hope and lean into ‘this moment’. 

SHOW NOTES

 

[12:00] Paul introduces Patty. 

 

Patty is 665 years old and is originally from Fairbanks, AK.  She currently lives in Corvallis, OR.  Patty has 3 children in their forties and 7 grandkids.  She worked at a university for 30 years and is now retired.  For fun Patty likes to hike, kayak, and sailing. 

 

[13:55] Give us a background on your drinking.

 

Patty says she was 14 years od the first time she got drunk, and that she was a black-out drinker her very first time.  It wasn’t until she was in her 30’s that she felt she may have a problem; it was then she started to drink at home alone. 

 

When Patty was in her forties, she started to attempt to give up alcohol.  She would go a couple days up to 11 months, and that went on for about 15 years. 

 

[18:15] Was there a moment that it got scary for you?

 

In early 2017 she drove home drunk from the airport and realized the next morning how dangerous that was.  She says it scared her, that she could have killed someone, or herself. 

 

[20:50] How did you do it those first couple weeks?

 

Patty said she had a different mindset this time.  This time her mindset was one of, ‘I don’t have to do this (drink) anymore’, rather than, ‘I can’t do this anymore.’

 

[26:00] What are some improvements in life that you have experienced in a life without alcohol? 

 

Patty says she used to make a lot of plans and then not follow through with them, she doesn’t do that anymore.  She has signed up to get her pilot’s license, something that she has always wanted to do.  Going to the RE Bozeman retreat.  She has been a lot more physically active, instead of talking about walking the dog, she just gets up and goes. 

 

[30:25] What is something that you’ve had to go through in the last 2 years that you didn’t expect?

 

Patty’s mom died 3 months ago and drinking didn’t even seem like an option.  It was a real tough time, losing her mom and with family drama, but she was able to be present and she didn’t have conversations that she regretted later. 

 

[37:20] What’s the biggest thing you’ve learned about yourself in these last 2 years?

 

Patty says it’s that she in genuinely a happy person. 

 

[38:00] Was there a rock-bottom moment?

 

The drive home from the Eugene airport.  Also, on July 19 drinking with her daughter, who herself was struggling with alcohol, and her 16-year-old granddaughter. 

 

[43:00] Rapid Fire Round

 

  1. What’s a lightbulb moment you’ve had on this journey?

 

That I don’t have to drink. 

 

  1. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has provided you?

 

Waking up early, I have just started taking a morning Pilates class. 

 

  1. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?

 

LaCroix, hands down.     

 

  1. What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life?

 

I hope to live in Panama half of the year, and I’m working on that.    

 

  1. What are some of your favorite resources in recovery?

 

Definitely Café RE, and I’m a reader so I have every self-help book probably written since 1972. 

 

  1. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

 

Think it all the way through, and remember you just don’t have to drink. 

 

  1. You might have a drinking problem if...

 

You consider dropping $100 at every airport bar as just part of your traveling expense. 

 

Upcoming retreats:

Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020

You can find more information about this event here

 

Resources mentioned in this episode:

 

ZipRecruiter

This episode is brought to you in support by ZipRecruiter. Right now, my listeners can try ZipRecruiter for free. Visit Ziprecruiter.com/elevator

 

Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com

 

“Recovery Elevator – We can do this.”

Oct 7, 2019

Kelly took her last drink on October 27, 2017.  This is her story.

Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book!  The book is out!  Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here!  You can get the Audible version here!

On today’s episode Paul talks about his idea of opening an in person, wellness retreat center in Costa Rica.  And while he has been working to create space for this idea and concept, and believes that the body is on board, there is still some discomfort getting out of his comfort zone. 

The fact is, we all have rough days, including Paul.  He says it’s important to give the body permission to feel the feelings, and also to give the body permission to allow them to go. 

If this retreat center is something you’d be interested in attending email Paul at info@recoveryelevator.com

Paul also addresses the question of, when do you know it’s a good time, after quitting alcohol, to start tackling other substances, behaviors, thought patterns, etc.?  Paul’s advice is to go slow and to be patient, your body will know when it is time.  

SHOW NOTES

 

[15:15] Paul introduces Kelly. 

 

Kelly is 54 years old.  She is married and has 2 adult children.  Kelly is a full-time social worker at a hospital, and she speaks Spanish.  For fun Kelly would like to get back into collecting vintage clothing.  She likes to read and is looking forward to getting into outdoor activities. 

 

 

[19:30] Give us a background on your drinking.

 

Kelly started drinking in 9th grade, just your average high school drinker.  By her 2nd year of high school she feels she was drinking more regularly.  She didn’t think she has a problem with alcohol because she wasn’t like her father.  In 1987 she moved, thinking that that would fix any drinking issues she had. 

 

[31:05] What happened right before you quit drinking? 

 

There were a lot of stresses going on.  She was constantly afraid of being pulled over to started to us LYFT.  There was a lot of risk taking.  She started buying bigger bottles. 

 

Her son started to go to meetings for his own addictions.  One nigh he told Kelly he didn’t feel it was safe for him to live at home, because of her drinking.  That was the last night she drank. 

 

[39:15] Talk to us about how you are embracing AA and the other side?

 

For the first 18 months Kelly was only doing AA.  But she was also reading a ton of books by/or about women alcoholics.  She says the AA meeting have been helpful but that she is bothered by some of the steps. 

 

[53:00] Rapid Fire Round

 

  1. What’s a lightbulb moment you’ve had on this journey?

 

That I am as strong as I am. 

 

  1. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?

 

I like kombucha, and I like coffee.   

 

  1. What are some of your favorite resources in recovery?  

 

I like Russel Brands’ Recovery on CD.  I listen to him in the car.  AA meetings, I do like 3-4 a week, and the Big Book. 

 

  1. What is on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life?

 

Eventually liking the outdoors.  Getting outside more. 

 

  1. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

 

Listen to any voice inside that is telling you that something is wrong. 

 

  1. You might have a drinking problem if...

 

You are 23-year-old woman that has gout. 

 

Upcoming retreats:

Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020

You can find more information about this event here

 

Resources mentioned in this episode:

 

Honey

This episode is brought to you by the smart shopping assistant Honey. Get Honey for free at www.joinhoney.com/elevator . Honey, the smart shopping assistant that saves you time and money when you're shopping online

 

 

Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com

 

“Recovery Elevator – We took the elevator down, we have to take the stairs back up.”

Sep 30, 2019

Dan took his last drink on July 28, 2018.  This is his story.

Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book!  The book is out!  Pick up your paperback copy on Amazon here!  You can get the Audible version here!

On today’s episode Paul talks about how we need to read his book, and others like it, with pride.  We have to shred the shame and ditch the stigma. 

He shares a letter he received from someone that attended the Recovery Elevator Retreat in Bozeman recently, and as she was reading Alcohol is Sh!t on the plane the lady sitting next to her asked about the book.  And she was able to share.  Turned out the lady was on her way to help her daughter who had relapsed and needed to hear everything she had to say. 

SHOW NOTES

 

[10:10] Paul introduces Dan. 

 

Dan is a father of 3, has a daughter in college and the youngest is 14.  He works as a retail executive.  He lives in New York and enjoys cycling. 

 

[12:45] Give us a background on your drinking.

 

Dan says he started drinking in high school and drank all through college.  He says that drinking is a big part of the business world and he fell right into that.  He didn’t realize he had an issue, but his wife did.  He said he was drinking 5-6 drinks a night. 

 

[15:35] Talk to us about how you asked yourself, “how can I quit?”.    

 

Dan says he called a hypnotist to get some help, but after his initial call to her he never followed up.  About a month later, on July 29, 2018, he was in a bad bicycle accident.   His doctors took great care of him and he hasn’t had a drink since. 

 

[18:10] What happened after the accident?

 

He had a bad brain injury so was told that he should not drink, if he did, he could have a seizure or a stroke.  After 10 days Dan came home from the hospital only to find out that his wife had removed all the alcohol from the house.  Dan says that was like being asleep and thrown into an ice-cold pool.  His brother told him he needed to go to AA so he walked into one only to feel like he didn’t belong.  He left that meeting angry and determined to show everyone wrong. 

 

[24:05] How are you feeling now?

 

Dan says it’s a little bit of ‘he’s going to show them (his friends and family)’ and it’s a little bit of he likes the way he feels and he looks. 

 

[26:47] You were told by your doctor not to drink for a year, because of the chance for a stroke…did you ever have the thought when that year was up to pick up a drink?

 

Dan says no, in fact he went to the conference he was supposed to be at the year before and never thought about it. 

 

[28:17] At your yearly physical you asked your doctor if you could now have a glass of wine, and he asked you, “why would you?”, can you answer that question?

 

Dan says because of the social aspect, he admits to missing it. 

 

[39:20] Dan talk to us about that connected feeling. 

 

Dan is feeling connected to life and not the alcohol.  He is feeling more connected to his family. 

 

[40:25] What’s on your bucket list for an alcohol-free life?

 

Going to a sporting event AF and seeing what that’s like and racing again. 

 

[43:00] Rapid Fire Round

 

  1. What’s a lightbulb moment you’ve had on this journey?

 

When I was at my physical and I asked my doctor if I could have a glass of wine and he leaned across the table and asked, “why the F would you?”.

 

  1. What’s a memorable moment a life without alcohol has given you?

 

A better connection with my children and my wife. 

 

  1. What is your favorite poison free drink?

 

Diet Coke, I drink too much of it.  I also like a nice latte. 

 

  1. What are some of your favorite resources in recovery?  

 

My favorite resources would be my family, cycling, I have a lot of resources at work too. 

 

  1. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

 

It’s not all about work, life is a balance, and the more pressure you’re under you need a release and a hobby.    

 

  1. You might have a drinking problem if...

 

You’re a business person that the alcohol is incorporated into the fabric of your life. 

 

Upcoming retreats:

Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020

You can find more information about this event here

 

Resources mentioned in this episode:

 

ZipRecruiter

This episode is brought to you in support by ZipRecruiter. Right now, my listeners can try ZipRecruiter for free. Visit Ziprecruiter.com/elevator

 

 

 

 

Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com

 

“Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside out.”

Sep 23, 2019

Rose took her last drink on March 12, 2019.  This is her story.

Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book!  The book is out!  Pick up your copy on Amazon here

On today’s episode Paul talks about Recovery Elevator Bozeman Retreat that took place this past August.  One of the speakers at the retreat was a spiritual teacher that Paul has worked with, Elaine Huang, you can find out more about her here.  

And a BIG thank you to the sponsors of the retreat. 

Nutzo, an organic 7-nut seed butter, that provided a jar of said butter to everyone that attended!

Rise Brewing Co., provided Nitro Cold Brewed Coffee!

Fire Brew, an apple cider-based health tonic, provided shots for everyone!

And tajín, a seasoning blend of lime, chili peppers and sea salt, provided a bottle of zing for all!

The cool thing is that these sponsors wanted to be a part of this event.  Thank you to Odette who worked hard in setting it all up! 

SHOW NOTES

 

[22:20] Paul introduces Rose. 

 

Rose is 37 years old.  She is from New Zealand but is currently living in France.  Rose is a physiotherapist by trade, but her degree is not recognized yet in France so she is teaching English.  She is a newlywed and they have a 3-year-old son.  For fun Rose likes to cook, sing, be outdoors, and go to gigs.   

 

[25:20] Give us a background on your drinking.

 

Rose started drinking as a teenager.  She says she grew up in a loving family but that everyone was a boozer, that it was normal.    At 18 she went off to university but dropped out after 2 years because it was getting in the way of her drinking.  She moved cities in search of new drinking friends and for the next 5 years was in an abusive relationship.  Rose says she spent a good chunk of her 20’s getting out of, and recovering from, that relationship. 

 

Rose then spent time on a friend’s large sailing boat and sailed to Fiji, continuing her drinking.  She then went home and started studying to become a physiotherapist.  Rose says she slowed her drinking down while she was studying. 

 

[28:25] What happens next? 

 

Rose got her degree, got a great job in a hospital where she wanted to work.  In 2016 she had her son.  She says after the birth of her son she fell into the ‘mommy drinking’ culture.  Rose also started to feel like an imposter.  Promoting health at work but doing the very opposite personally. 

    

[32:20] Was there anything in particular that led you to ditch the booze?

 

Rose says a big part of it was moving to France in 2017.  She found France’s drinking culture to be the polar opposite of New Zealand’s which made her feel out of place.  Even though she knew she needed to stop her drinking ramped up at the beginning of this year after the death of a close friend.  

 

[35:15] What happened on March 12th? 

 

Rose says she had started to drink during the daytime, when she wasn’t on pick-up duty with her son.  She also started smoking cigarettes.  She started feeling guilty about not being present as a parent.  She reached out to an American friend she had met on that sailing ship that was posting about being sober.  This friend led her to Café RE. 

 

[38:50] How did you do it?

 

Rose says she told her husband, creating some accountability.  Her husband was very supportive.  The removed all the alcohol from the house and Rose declined engagements for a while.  She joined Café RE and jumped in and starting participating and getting involved. 

 

[48:50] How have things changed in an alcohol-free life?

 

Rose says she’s a better mother, she’s present.  She has an increase in self-love and self-worth. 

 

[55:05] Rapid Fire Round

 

 

  1. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?

 

Pineapple and lime sparkling water. 

 

  1. What are some of your favorite resources in recovery?  

 

I loved The Joy of Being Sober book.    I also really love Josh Korda’s Dharmapunx podcast.   There is a New Zealand woman named Lotta Dann and she has a book, and blog, by the same name called, Mrs. D is Going Without. 

 

  1. What’s on your bucket list now that alcohol isn’t part of your life?

 

A lot more travel, I love to travel.  To be able to help someone else get sober. 

 

  1. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

 

Connect, connect with people.  Look for the similarities and not the differences. 

 

  1. You might have a drinking problem if...

 

You’re drinking wine out of a coffee mug just so the neighbors won’t know because it’s 11 AM on a Monday. 

 

 

Upcoming retreats:

Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020

You can find more information about this event here

 

Resources mentioned in this episode:

 

 

Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com

 

“Recovery Elevator – You took the elevator down, you have to take the stairs back up.”

Sep 16, 2019

Dan took his last drink 370 days ago.  This is his story.

Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book!  The book is out!  Pick up your copy on Amazon here

On today’s episode Paul talks about how this journey into a new life without alcohol can be fun.  In fact, he says, it must be fun.  If you’re not having fun right now that is ok, you are not doing anything wrong.  Recovering your true self, a life filled with inner joy and abundance, can only be done with love.  You can’t fight darkness with darkness. 

Here are some strategies to invite love into your life…stop comparing yourself to others, get off social media, tell yourself ‘I love you’, listen to your body, put on headphones and dance. 

SHOW NOTES

 

[9:30] Paul introduces Dan. 

 

Dan celebrated 1 year of sobriety on July 28, 2019.  He is 37 years old and lives in Cottage Grove, MN.  He is a teacher and teaches middle school math.  He has 5-year-old twins, a boy and a girl, and a 10-year-old daughter.  Dan is married and they just celebrated 13 years.  For fun Dan likes to exercise and hike. 

 

[16:20] Give us a background on your drinking.

 

Dan had his first drink in high school and bartended through college.  He says his drinking just carried over into what he calls ‘his adult life’ and it just stuck with him.  He wasn’t a binge drinker; it was more of cracking a couple beers open every night after work. 

 

Dan started to become depressed, getting anxious if he couldn’t drink his beers each night.  He says he had some suicidal thoughts. 

 

[20:45] What did that depression feel like?

 

Dan got to the point where he was finding no joy in anything, including alcohol, his job or his family.  He confided in a friend about his depression and that was the start of his journey into sobriety.  When he confided in his wife, he felt that he was surrendering and ready to get help.     

    

[24:00] When did you tell your wife and what happened after that?

 

Dan says he made the commitment to stop drinking last summer and told his wife after about a week in.  Dan says his wife overheard him listening to the Recovery Elevator podcast and that was the beginning of their conversation about his drinking and depression. 

 

[26:35] Talk to us about the 1st week, the 1st month. 

 

Dan made a doctor’s appointment a couple weeks in to talk about his depression and was prescribed anti-depressants/antianxiety medication.  He was worried about how he would feel once taking the medication but says it has really helped him.  Dan listened to the RE podcasts daily and would reach out to his wife when he was struggling at all.  He also told his oldest daughter that he was quitting drinking alcohol. 

 

[35:30] With a year away from the alcohol how has the depression been?

 

Dan says it has gotten better.  He is going to sit down with his doctor and discuss if he should come off the meds, he says he was scared to go on them in the beginning and is now a little worried about coming off them. 

 

[37:25] What’s on your bucket list now with a year of sobriety?

 

Next summer he’s going to finish up the Superior Hiking Trail and possibly do a ½ marathon. 

 

[38:44] You haven’t mentioned AA or 12-step, did you not go to AA during this last year?

 

Dan says he never put it out of his mind or took it off the table, and that he even looked up when and where meetings were; but that he never went to a meeting. 

 

[40:40] Rapid Fire Round

 

  1. What’s a lightbulb moment you’ve found on this journey?

 

My lightbulb moment was that I needed to fail a few times before I was actually able to be successful with it. 

 

  1. What is a gift that sobriety has given you?

 

The biggest gift is time. 

 

  1. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?

 

Well my beer fridge has now became a sparkling water fridge. 

 

  1. What are some of your favorite resources in recovery?  

 

I definitely have to say Recovery Elevator, plus my friends and my family. 

 

  1. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

 

It would have to be that there is so much freedom once you have given up alcohol. 

 

  1. You might have a drinking problem if...

 

You have a fight with your girlfriend, decide to move out, and realize that you have only packed a camera and a swimsuit. 

 

Upcoming retreats:

Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020

You can find more information about this event here

 

Resources mentioned in this episode:

 

 

Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com

 

“Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside out.”

Sep 9, 2019

Brandi took her last drink on July 17, 2019.  This is her story.

Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book!  The book was released 2 days ago!  Pick up your copy on Amazon here

On today’s episode Paul talks about one of his pet peeves…the word “ONLY”.   For example, when someone says they have ‘only’ been sober for 3 days, 10 days, 2 weeks, etc.… We need to change this way of thinking, any amount of time away from alcohol is a major win. 

The word ‘only’ equals limited, represents a lack of, and we want to be careful with this idea and energetic vibrations that encompass the word. 

SHOW NOTES

 

[9:30] Paul introduces Brandi. 

 

Brandi is from Franklin, TN.  She is 48 years old and works in healthcare.  She has a 12-year-old daughter and for fun Brandi likes to make her own greeting cards, write poetry, and ride horses. 

 

[14:50] Give us a background on your drinking.

 

Brandi says she drank some in high school and college, but that she didn’t really enjoy it.  She says it wasn’t until she was 33-34 years old that she started to see alcohol as a problem.  

 

In 2012 she started to notice how alcohol was impacting her life, her physical wellbeing, her job, and the people around her.  2 years ago, she was drinking about 2 bottles of wine a night, every day. 

 

[23:00] Where do you think your self-loathing came from?

 

Brandi says it came from a lot of things; missed moments with her daughter; lost time; missed conversations. 

    

[33:30] Tell us how the last 2 weeks have been?

 

Brandi says they have been good.  She felt a little of the pink cloud.  She’s been trying to do things differently, like getting up earlier.  She started a morning routine that includes her affirmation books. 

 

[39:00] What’s your plan moving forward?

 

Brandi says she is going to be better at reaching out to people.  She plans on getting back to some meetings that she has gone to in the past.  Getting back to her morning routine.  She wants to slowly get back to the things she enjoys doing for fun.  Brandi says a big one for her is stepping outside her comfort zone. 

 

[40:40] Rapid Fire Round

 

  1. What’s a lightbulb moment you’ve found on this journey?

 

How many times have I thrown wine glasses away.

 

  1. What is a memorable moment that sobriety has given you?

 

Sitting with my daughter, watching Disney movies, just being goofy and she put on Elton John and we just started dancing. 

 

  1. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?

 

Unfortunately, it’s Diet Dr. Pepper, but lemonade takes a close 2nd. 

 

  1. What are some of your favorite resources in recovery?  

 

My friends that know me, my affirmation books.

 

  1. What’s on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life?

 

I used to travel; I want to go find a really cool place to take my daughter.  I want to do the things I used to do with her and start making memories.  Also, to get back into making my cards again and moving forward with dreams I had at making that part of my lifestyle. 

 

  1. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

 

Even if it’s hard to step out, to reach out, it doesn’t have to be huge, just that one little thing that will change your path. 

 

  1. You might have a drinking problem if...

 

Before you buy that next bottle of wine you have to figure out where you are in your rounds through your wine stores so you don’t hit one too soon. 

 

Upcoming retreats:

Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020

You can find more information about this event here

 

Resources mentioned in this episode:

 

Honey

This episode is brought to you by the smart shopping assistant Honey. Get Honey for free at www.joinhoney.com/elevator . Honey, the smart shopping assistant that saves you time and money when you're shopping online

 

 

Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com

 

“Recovery Elevator – Alcohol is shit…and we both know it.”

Sep 2, 2019

Aisha took her last drink on July 28, 2017.  This is her story.

Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book!  The book comes out in 5 days!  This is also Paul’s 5-year alcohol free date!  Pick up your copy on Amazon September 7, 2019! 

On today’s episode Paul talks about celebrities that have ditched the booze and why this group of the population is affected by addiction way more than the average population. 

SHOW NOTES

 

[9:30] Paul introduces Aisha. 

 

Aisha is 42 years old and lives in Atlanta, GA.  She is a lawyer, married and has a 10-year-old.  Aisha enjoys reading recovery/addiction memoirs along with fiction.      

 

[14:50] Give us a background on your drinking.

 

Aisha says that a big part of why she drank was that she was trying to fit in.  Both of Aisha’s parents were alcoholics.  She is African-American and Hispanic and was raised in rural America where she didn’t see a lot of people that looked like her. 

 

Aisha didn’t really start drinking until she started law school and she started drinking alcoholically after she started practicing law.  There were a few months when she had the FBI watching her house because of a threat she had received, during those months she was so scared that she was drinking every day.  Because of her experience with alcoholics in her family she knew where her drinking was going, and she knew she needed to quit.    

 

[22:34] Did you have a rock bottom moment? 

 

Aisha says her bottom was when she “missed the toilet”, literally.  She knew she needed help then, but didn’t stop drinking at that time.  She did however go to an AA meeting. 

    

[26:15] Tell us more about your AA experience.

 

Aisha says when she went to AA, she was legitimately looking for help.  After listening to the speaker share, she felt like she could not relate.  She didn’t let that stop her from going back, but after some condescending comments at another AA meeting she went back to drinking. 

 

[28:15] What do you think finally pushed you over the edge to start logging in the time?

 

Aisha didn’t let the bad experiences she had had at AA stop her from trying other meetings.  She went to a lot of meetings and finally found one that she felt loved and welcomed at. 

 

[40:55] How has the wanting to fit in changed since getting sober? 

 

Aisha says she is much more purposeful.  She is much more focused on the whys of doing things.  She is also much more open to feed back from others. 

  

[46:30] In the last 2 years have you had a difficult moment where you thought you were going to drink and how’d you get through it? 

 

Aisha says she has not, and she know she is very fortunate.  She says that the smell of alcohol disgusts her now.  She has, however, had moments of fomo and has wished she could drink with friends at times. 

 

[51:20] Rapid Fire Round

 

  1. What is a memorable moment that a life without alcohol has given you?

 

Going on vacation with her family and her daughter and waking up early with her and remembering everything. 

 

  1. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?

 

Mango Bubly

 

  1. What are some of your favorite resources in recovery?  

The stories in the back of the AA Big Book; A Girl Walks Out of a Bar; and people…I really enjoy the Café RE Facebook group.  

 

  1. What’s on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life?

 

I have a lot of changes that I am in the process of making in my life personally, I don’t want to put them out on the podcast.  But I think that in the next year there are some things in my life that are going to look very different. 

 

  1. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

 

This is truly life and death, but it is also one day, one moment, one second at a time.  

 

  1. You might have a drinking problem if...

 

You’re dropping a deuce, and you think you’re on the toilet, and when you get up, you’re not even close to the toilet. 

 

 

Upcoming retreats:

Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020

You can find more information about this event here

 

Resources mentioned in this episode:

 

ZipRecruiter

This episode is brought to you in support by ZipRecruiter. Right now, my listeners can try ZipRecruiter for free. Visit Ziprecruiter.com/elevator

 

 

Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com

 

“Recovery Elevator – Alcohol is shit…and we both know it.”

Aug 26, 2019

Sarah took her last drink on June 13, 2019.  This is her story.

Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book!  Pick up your copy on Amazon September 7, 2019! 

On today’s episode Paul talks about how there is always a ‘plan B’.  Plan A…aka the way we want life to work out, the way we hoped things were going to work, actually work out 0% of the time.  Everyone has these hiccups. 

The fact that you are listening to this podcast means you are already into plan B.  Most people that have a goal to move into an alcohol-free life have a plan A, which looks something like this…quit drinking and never look back.  It doesn’t matter how many plans you have because we now have hundreds of plans to chose from. 

You don’t have to go out looking for your plan, schedule some down time and let the plan come to you. 

SHOW NOTES

 

[8:33] Paul introduces Sarah. 

 

Sarah is 44 years old and is from Vancouver, WA.  She is engaged to be married and has no kids.  Sarah is a chiropractor.  For fun Sarah loves anything that has to do with health, she loves to exercise and go on long walks with her fiancé.   

 

[10:00] Give us a background on your drinking.

 

Sarah had her first drink when she was 12 years old.  She didn’t drink heavily from that point on but her drinking really escalated when she started working in the restaurant business while attending the University of Texas.   She was 22 years old at this time.  At the age of 17 Sarah got a DWUI. 

 

From the age of 22 her drinking got worse.  When she was 30 years old, she found herself calling in sick to work because she was hungover. 

 

 

[12:00] So you decided to have a change of location and profession?

 

Sarah says it was one of the best decisions she made, but that looking back it was her thinking that she needed to get out of her current environment.  She started chiropractic school and took her drinking right along with her. 

 

Her drinking continued to escalate and she ended up missing a really significant clinical entrance exam.  She drank too much the night before and slept through it.  She wasn’t allowed to take a makeup exam and had to wait to take the exam.  This is when she first tried AA. 

  

[13:15] What were your initial thoughts about AA?

 

Initially it was awesome.  Sarah still has some really great feelings about AA.  She says she’ll never forget when she walked into her very first meeting and a man telling her she never had to drink again.  Sarah says that was a lightbulb moment for her.   

 

[14:00] Bring us up to speed from 32 years old to 44. 

 

Sarah had on and off sobriety attempts during that time, ranging from 6 months to 2 years.  And she says that, of course, her life always got better. 

She was questioning if she was an alcoholic because she could stop at a couple drinks, sometimes.   But she realized that her drinking always had consequences.  She decided, along with her fiancé, to quit drinking. 

 

[16:40] What do you think you started back up after your 6 mo., 9 mo., 2 years? 

 

Sarah felt like she would hit a wall, that she couldn’t label herself a full-blown alcoholic so she would find herself going back out.  She would always end up back at the same place, lack of motivation, sick, tired, depressed, and a chaotic life.  

  

[18:40] What effect has not drinking had? 

 

By day 3 Sarah noticed she was sleeping better.  She enjoys her work and being with patients.  She has her motivation back.  She isn’t waking up with guilt and shame anymore. 

 

[22:00] What are some of the obstacles that you have overcome in the last 41 days? 

 

Sarah says that around day 13 and a couple weeks ago she was hitting a wall emotionally.     

 

[25:17] How has it been to have a fiancé as an accountability partner?

 

Sarah says it’s been really amazing.  She had to tell him a number of times that drinking was a problem for her, and when things got really bad, he finally got it.  He was willing to go on the journey with her.  It wasn’t just ‘her’ drinking, it was ‘their’ drinking. 

 

[28:00] What have been the challenges to do this with a significant other? 

 

Sarah says the first challenge was that she wanted to make sure he wasn’t stopping to drink just for her.  She says she needs the support but that she didn’t want to feel responsible for that decision.  The challenge was making sure that they both had their own ‘whys’.    

 

[29:00] What is something you didn’t think you’d have to work on?

 

Sarah thought that the problem her and her fiancé had with communicating would go away and she learned that they still needed to work on those skills. 

 

[29:40] Have you explored why you drank?

 

Sarah says she drank because she wanted to feel included and connected to other people.  She says she also drank because it got her attention. 

 

[30:30] What is something memorable that you have been able to do in a life without alcohol?

 

She has noticed that she is way more invested in her life and in her chiropractor practice.  She cares about her patients. 

 

[32:20] What’s your plan moving forward?

 

To continue on this journey.  Sarah also says her love for reading has returned. 

 

[33:30] Rapid Fire Round

 

  1. What is a lightbulb moment you’ve had on this journey?

 

All of a sudden, I’m noticing the world around me. 

 

  1. Is there anything you would have done differently when quitting drinking?

 

This time, no.  It has all gotten me here.

 

  1. What is your favorite alcohol-free drink?

 

Lately my fiancé and I have been making virgin Bloody Mary’s. 

 

  1. What is your favorite resource in recovery?   

 

As of now it is Café RE.  It really is a safe environment for me to connect with people. 

 

  1. What’s on your bucket list in an alcohol-free life?

 

We want to travel to Germany.  I have never really wanted to travel and now I do.

 

  1. And what parting piece of guidance can you give to listeners?

 

The biggest thing I was afraid of was that I was going to miss out on something, and none of that is true. 

 

  1. You might have a drinking problem if...

 

You wake up somewhere that you never would have been if sober. 

 

 

Upcoming retreats:

Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020

You can find more information about this event here

 

Resources mentioned in this episode:

 

 

Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com

 

“Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside-out.”

Aug 19, 2019

Joy took her last drink on July 12, 2014.  This is her story.

Update on the Alcohol is Sh!t book!  Launch date, September 7, 2019, is less than a month away! 

On today’s episode Paul talks about the phrase ‘spontaneous sobriety’.  What is it?  What does it mean? 

Spontaneous sobriety means quitting drinking without any formal treatment such as rehab, inpatient treatment, or out-patient treatment.  12-step programs are not formal treatment due to the fact you can go when you want, work with, or without, a sponsor, and there is not a formal way to work the steps. 

The majority of people get sober without formal help.  According to the NESARC about 50% of all people that recovered from alcohol dependence did so completely on their own. 

So how does one spontaneously ditch the booze?  The listen to their body, read books, listen to podcasts, attend 12-step meetings, read blogs, talk to their therapist, join online recovery groups (like CaféRE), etc.…  You talk about it; you burn the ships. 

SHOW NOTES

 

[10:40] Paul introduces Joy. 

 

Joy was born and raised in the suburbs of southeast Michigan and she moved to Connecticut about 15 years ago.  She is 42 years old, has been married for almost 15 years, and has 2 sons.  For work Joy is a holistic nurse practitioner, sober and grey area drinking coach, and a dance teacher.  She enjoys dancing, yoga, being outside, and reading. 

 

[17:40] Give us a background on your drinking.

 

Joy started drinking pretty regularly in her teenage years.  There was drinking in her household so it felt like the natural thing to do.  During high school there were binging and blackout moments.  Before college she had a rock-climbing accident, where alcohol was involved, which resulted in her having to change her direction in college from dance to healthcare.  She continued to drink heavily in college and got a DUI when she was 20. 

 

[18:35] Whne you got that DUI was there a concern?

 

Joy says it was a terrifying experience.  She had to spend the night in jail, in a very big correctional facility.  After the DUI Joy felt like she could still continue to drink, she just needed to be smarter about it, like not drive. 

 

In her 30s it became more apparent that her drinking was a problem.  There was more morning after conversations with her husband.  She tried moderating, only drinking on the weekends, but was unsuccessful. 

 

[19:50] You mentioned that your husband commented that your drinking doesn’t make sense, can you explain that?

 

She says here she was, done with graduate school to be a nurse practitioner, she was a yoga teacher and really holistically health minded, but at the same time drinking heavily.  She also would smoke cigarettes when she drank.  It was like the two Joys didn’t compute.  There was the highly functioning Joy going to her job at the hospital and teaching yoga classes, and then there was the Joy that was drinking everyday and smoking.    

 

[22:15] Bring us up to speed, did the other shoe drop?

 

Joy says it did.  She was 30 pounds heavier; her health was not doing well; her depression was not being treated.  But Joy says it was really when she was home with her two young children and one of them asked her to hand him his toy.  She asked him what one and he said, “It’s the one behind your wine glass.”.   This rocked Joy’s world.  It was one thing for her to be home drinking wine while taking care of her young children, it was something else that one of them knew it. 

 

[24:35] What did you do after that? 

 

Joy says she did what everyone thinks they have to do; she went to AA.  She was 37 years old.  She says she had issue with when you go to AA you have to stand up and introduce yourself and proclaim that you’re an alcoholic.  At this time Joy wasn’t sure she was an alcoholic, but she knew she had to do something and AA was all she could think of.  Standing up and admitting that she was an alcoholic in front of a group of strangers was cathartic for Joy.  It allowed her to take the next step forward which was addressing what she was going to do next. 

 

[27:00] What happened after that? 

 

Joy went to AA for a little while, got a sponsor that was really helped her get through the first few weeks of being AF.  But Joy wasn’t drawn to AA, she didn’t find the positivity, or forward movement, she was hoping to find. 

 

So, Joy turned to the internet and started looking for other recovery avenues that were geared towards women.  She found Woman for Sobriety, which is a different self-help program.  There weren’t any meetings local to Joy so she started participating in online chat meetings.  After she had a year of sobriety she applied and became a moderator of meetings for them in her town. 

 

[30:30] What was it like going through the first couple social events alcohol free?

 

Joy learned that she definitely had some social anxiety, it was stressful, and she felt awkward.  She says she took a lot of things off of her social calendar.  She instead filled her time with other things, and instead of focusing on what she was not doing anymore she was focusing on what she was doing.   

 

[34:20] What are some of the things that have been removed from your life since you quit drinking?

 

Joy says that there have been some friendships and there were some activities, such as concerts, that she gave up for a while, but has since returned to enjoying in sobriety.  She has been careful with what she has allowed back into her life with her main focus now being a parent and her family.    

 

[38:10] What are some of the themes you have encountered in the last 5 years? 

 

The first year Joy was just dedicated on getting the moments.  Year two was being OK with things as they were.  Year 3 and 4 were similar to year 2, but Joy was stepping out more into experiences that may have been a little scarier, being a little more daring and finding great encouragement through those accomplishments.   

 

[41:20] Talk to us about being a grey area drinking coach.

 

Joy says the grey area is the area between rock bottom and not drinking at all. 

 

[46:50] Rapid Fire Round

 

  1. Worst memory from drinking?

 

Having my friends stay home with my kids while I drove myself to the hospital because I thought I had given myself pancreatitis because I drank too much. 

 

  1. What is your plan moving forward?

 

My plan is to continue to find great connection with other women similar to me and offer them resources and tools to help them create a new life doing what they love without alcohol. 

 

  1. What is your favorite resource in recovery?

 

Women for Sobriety and Yoga of Recovery. 

 

  1. In regards to sobriety what’s the best advice you’ve ever received?

 

Just take a moment and breathe and know that this too shall pass. 

 

  1. What parting piece of advice can you give to listeners?

 

If you are questioning, at all, if you need to take a break then I invite you to give it 30 days.

 

  1. If listeners want to find you, do you have a website?

www.joyherbst.com  http://purnimawomenshealth.com/

 

  1. You might have a drinking problem if...

 

You are constantly thinking about when you’re going to get your next drink. 

 

 

Upcoming retreats:

Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020

You can find more information about this event here

 

Resources mentioned in this episode:

 

Betterhelp 

Visit betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR and join the over 500,000 people talking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. For (podcast name) listeners get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR

 

 

Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com

 

“Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside-out.”

Aug 12, 2019

Tiffany took her last drink on July 14, 2018.  This is her story.

On today’s episode Paul talks about the DUIs he didn’t get.  For those of you that may not know what a DUI is…it is Driving Under the Influence, with a BAC that is higher than .08. 

Those missed DUIs, going all the way back to one in 2006, in which he was following behind a friend that was drunk behind the wheel, rolled his vehicle and passed away with a BAC of .33…were a contributing factor in Paul telling himself he didn’t have a drinking problem. 

He told himself he didn’t have a drinking problem because he didn’t have any DUIs.  Paul has said, ‘the only line you can cross, but cannot come back from, is death’.  He hopes that Adrian’s story can help save the life of someone listening to this podcast. 

 SHOW NOTES

 

[16:05] Paul introduces Tiffany. 

 

Tiffany is originally from Connecticut but has been in Maryland for the last 10 years.  She is a property manager and a licensed captain.  She is 35 years old, single and has no kids.  She enjoys hiking and recently has discovered she likes to macramé, and has been doing a lot of that.  DIY crafts and projects around her house bring her joy. 

 

[18:15] Give us a background on your drinking.

 

Tiffany started dinking when she was in 7th grade.  Drinking was the not the norm for her family or in her household growing up.  It wasn’t until she was in junior high and spending more time at friends’ houses that she was exposed to drinking being the norm.  Jr. high and high school was a lot of binge drinking on weekends.  Towards the end of high school Tiffany was more interested in being at work, she was working at a horse farm, and partying with her friends than being at school.  Work and partying became her priority and school was at the bottom of the totem pole.  She says she was a big pothead and felt that she could take, or leave, alcohol. 

 

[20:50] When did you reach the moment when you couldn’t take it, or leave it? 

 

In 2006, when Tiffany was 21, she left everything behind and moved to New Zealand to work on a schooner.   She says that is when the switch happened.  Wine was everywhere.  She started to think of drinking as a reward for having a hard day, rather than just something she would binge on. 

 

[22:45] Talk to us about the years between 21 and 34.

 

While on the schooner they went through a bad hurricane during a voyage.  Tiffany says it was terrifying, and it was at that time her drinking shifted from drinking as a reward for a hard day, to drinking to get out of her head.  She says she came home from that experience different, and that it is still something she is working through. 

 

It was at this time she was drinking to not feel her feelings, and she started to isolate rather than drink socially.  In 2007 she moved to Baltimore and moved in to a neighborhood that was filled with bars, making it easy for her to drink and not be questioned.  

 

[26:00] Get us up to speed closer to your sobriety date.

 

Between 2009-2012 not a lot really happened.  Tiffany says her drinking stayed about the same, she was still isolating amongst her group of drinking friends.  In 2014 she got into a relationship, that didn’t work out, but it was the first time she had ever heard someone refer to her as an alcoholic. 

  

[26:45] What was it like hearing that?

 

Up until that time she says she had had a lot of nights that she regretted but that this was the first time she felt embarrassed.  This prompted Tiffany to lean into her isolation and she let all the self-negative talk that she had for herself beat her down. 

 

In 2017 she was so depressed and isolating that she was afraid to leave her house unless it was for work.  Because she couldn’t control her drinking, she felt like she was failing in everything other than work.     

[28:44] You said you knew you didn’t want to drink, but that all you knew was a life with drinking…talk to us about how that felt. 

 

It was insanity.  A snapshot of what felt like a normal day for Tiffany involved her waking up with a hangover, feeling like hell, getting herself together for work and then crying the whole way to work because she did not want to go home, because she did not want to drink again that night.  Her anxiety was crippling and things just didn’t get any better.  She lived like that for 3 years. 

 

[30:20] What tipped the scales?

 

November 2017 Tiffany says she was at her bottom and she came across the Recovery Elevator podcast.  She hit play and binge listened to the episodes for a solid 2 weeks. 

 

[33:55] What happened between November 2017 and July 2018?

 

Tiffany signed up for the RE Facebook group in June 2018 and made it 30 days AF.  On day 31 she walked into a store, thinking, “I got this”, and bought 5 bottles of wine and drank for 5 days.  She then decided she was done, drank all the alcohol in her house, and on July 14th 2018 had her last drink. 

 

[44:00] So you got sober outside of AA?

 

Tiffany says that 12 step meetings are not for her, at least not right now.  She finds her peace and healing when she is outside of the rooms.  Knowing that she does need to talk to people and dive into some things

she did start talk therapy. 

 

[45:56] What’s on your bucket list? 

 

The Asia trip is definitely being added.  Tiffany says she just wants to be happy. 

 

[47:47] Rapid Fire Round

 

  1. Worst memory from drinking?

 

My 18th birthday.  I got so drunk I fell down the side of a mountain and my friends had to drive me home. 

 

  1. When was the moment you knew you needed to quit drinking?

 

That is a toss up between when I heard my ex say I was an alcoholic and when I started listening to this podcast.

 

  1. What is your plan moving forward?

 

Keeping connection and staying social.  I’m making the point to keep networking.      

 

  1. What is your favorite resource in recovery?

 

Definitely Recovery Elevator podcast and the Café’RE group.    

 

  1. In regards to sobriety what’s the best advice you’ve ever received?

 

That it’s ok not to have perfect day. 

 

  1. What parting piece of advice can you give to listeners?

 

If you think you have a problem you probably do. 

 

  1. You might have a drinking problem if...

 

At the age of 15 you realize that if you only take shots, you don’t feel full, so you can drink more. 

 

Upcoming retreats:

Bozeman Retreat – August 14-18, 2019

Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020

You can find more information about these events here

 

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Honey

This episode is brought to you by the smart shopping assistant Honey. Get Honey for free at  www.joinhoney.com/elevator. Honey, the smart shopping assistant that saves you time and money when you're shopping online. 

Zip Recruiter

This episode is brought to you in support by ZipRecruiter. Right now, my listeners can try ZipRecruiter for free. Visit Ziprecruiter.com/elevator

Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com

 

“Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside-out.”

Aug 5, 2019

Daz took his last drink on November 5, 2018.  This is his story. 

This coming January Recovery Elevator is going to Thailand and Cambodia for 12 days.  Space is limited.  You can find more information about this event here

On today’s episode Paul discuses the double negative, not failing.  If you find yourself struggling to say no, to picking up a drink, you are not failing.  If you are not failing you are succeeding, accomplishing, flourishing, overcoming, conquering, thriving, winning, realizing your goal to become alcohol free. 

Think about an accomplishment in your life that you are proud of.  Did that come without a struggle?   Most likely it did.  That struggle did not represent failure.  Growth is a big part of that struggle. 

SHOW NOTES

[10:30] Paul introduces Daz. 

Daz is 43 years old, has been married for 5 years, and has 2 beautiful little girls.  He is from Vancouver Island and has lived in Vancouver for the last 17 years.  For fun Daz plays guitar, writes and records a lot of music, and his latest addiction is knowledge in recovery.

[13:31] Give us a background on your drinking.

When Daz was 13 he had his first drink, and first drunk.  At the age of 15 he was introduced to smoking pot which very quickly became a daily thing.  An honor roll student until his senior year of high school, when other drugs were introduced, and things really started to nosedive. 

Daz didn’t start drinking regularly until he was 19.  It then quickly became a daily thing, helping him come out of his shell and be more social.  It became a staple that stuck with him through his 20s. 

Daz hit his rock bottom on April 20, 2005.  He had gone through a really dysfunctional relationship and his life had completely veered off the path that he had expected.  He was ready to throw in the towel on life.  Daz called his parents at 2AM and told them he didn’t know what to do, that he thought he wanted to just go and finish it off.  His parents got him to come home and that was his first attempt to get sober. It lasted a couple weeks, through the Christmas holidays, and he attended his first AA meetings while there. 

When he got back to Vancouver things went back to the way they had been for about another year.  He was struggling to get by, working in bars and drinking on the job.  Found himself in legal trouble and soon couldn’t pay his rent.  Daz says he was one step away from living on the street.

[19:00] That was early 2007, bridge the gap for us. 

Daz entered a 2-month treatment center and says that was the beginning of him starting to stand up and dust himself off.  It gave him time to think about what he was going to do with his life.  He worked in the fitness industry for a couple years.

He started to slide back into drinking but had enough of a foundation at this time, and had left some of the other drugs behind, that things were starting to get on the right path. 

He moved from the fitness industry into the software business and started performing music in the evenings.  This gave him something to be excited about and even though he was still drinking he now felt he had a purpose.

Daz met his wife 7 years ago, 1.5 years later they had their first baby, and 2-3 years ago he went to the doctor and was told he had a fatty liver. 

[21:55] What happened next?

He now has his 2nd baby and a fatty liver.  His doctor told him if he didn’t stop drinking, he would be dead in 10 years.  That was the motivation Daz needed.  He had gone through the 12 steps of AA while in the treatment center but just never felt like that was for him.  What he found was something called, Neuro Recover, which is an IV treatment where the person is hooked up to an IV for 8 hours a day, for 10 days.  He says he soon realized that being sober is not just about not drinking, it’s about rebuilding your body. 

After a few months Daz went back ‘out’.  When he was ready to try again, he came with more of a plan and was going to include community.  He did the IV treatment for 3 days. 

On day 5 he was having back and leg pain, anxiety, and feeling frustrated.  Daz says he was almost ready to go get alcohol.  Instead of going to the store for alcohol he recalled reading that L-glutamine can help with alcohol cravings.  Having some in his cupboard he drank some and says that instantly the craving was gone.  Daz started attending SMART Recovery soon after. 

[32:32] What are your qualms about AA?

Daz says his biggest qualm is the powerless aspect.  He feels to overcome addiction you need to be empowered.    

[39:16] What would you say to someone looking to get sober, that has tried AA, and is looking for something else?

Daz would suggest the SMART Recovery community, RE Café’ Facebook groups, L-glutamine.  He would tell them to stay connected with people, and that diet is important. 

[44:14] What are your thoughts on relapse?

Daz says he doesn’t think relapse is a bad thing, that it is just part of the process.  He says people shouldn’t be too negative about it as long as you are continuing on and learning to understand yourself, the body, and how it works. 

[47:41] Where does spirituality come into play on this journey?

Daz is not a religious person, per-se, but he thinks it’s really important for people to stop and look inward, and turn other things off. 

[48:50] Rapid Fire Round

  1. Worst memory from drinking?

Driving down the road and not being able to keep his hands on the steering wheel because he was shaking so badly.

  1. What is your plan moving forward?

My plan moving forward is to finish my website that I have been working on, like I said, it’s EmpoweredNotPowerless.com.  Continue going to SMART meetings and I have some people that I am close to and to just continue to help each other. To continue to lead by example.     

  1. What is your favorite resource?

Get yourself some glutamine, don’t leave out the supplementation part of recovery.  You’ve been killing yourself for years and your body needs to heal itself.  I would also shout out Omar Pinto and the SHAIR podcast.  Another book I would recommend is Addicted to the Monkey Mind. 

  1. What parting piece of advice can you give to listeners?

When it feels like it’s impossible, it’s not.

  1. You might have a drinking problem if...

You need to pull over on the side of the road because you can’t control your shaking. 

 

Upcoming retreats:

Bozeman Retreat – August 14-18, 2019

Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020

You can find more information about these events here

Resources mentioned in this episode:

 

Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com

 

“Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside-out.”

Jul 29, 2019

Arlina took her last drink on April 22, 1994 and has been alcohol free for 25 years.  This is her story.

On today’s episode Paul discuses an article that a listener sent him regarding the term, ‘sober curious’.  This article was published in the New York Times and can be found here

What is sober curious?  The term is pretty straight forward, it refers to those that are curious about exploring a life without alcohol.  But it can be unpacked even more.  To some, sober curious may mean that they never had a drinking problem, but they had a problem drinking.  In the article the author describes the sober curious as young professionals that are kind of, just a little bit, addicted to booze.  

Paul feels that that bulk of this demographic of sober curious people are what would be referred to as high bottom drunks.  They are beginning to experience consequences from their drinking and they are becoming curious to what a life without alcohol would look like. 

 

SHOW NOTES

[9:30] Paul introduces Arlina.

Arlina is 50 years old and had her last drink on her 25th birthday.  She grew up in Silicon Valley.  She is married and has 2 sons.  Arlina has a podcast, enjoys yoga, hiking and going for walks.  She is soon to be the owner of a bulldog puppy. 

[15:05] Give us a background on your drinking.

Arlina says she feels her drinking was garden variety.  She started drinking at a young age, between 8-10 years old, and says she didn’t realize how bad she felt until she felt good from drinking. She says from her first drink to her last she wanted to be anybody but herself.  

[19:00] Was there a rock bottom moment that led up to you having your last drink on your 25th birthday? 

Arlina says she had a series of rock-bottom moments.  She never knew what emotion to expect when she would drink, she would either be crying or fighting.  Even after a night out with her sister, in which Arlina got drunk, punched her windshield a couple times, breaking it, kicked her sister (who was driving) in the face, her sister getting help from the neighbors, the police being called, and waking up with that incomprehensible demoralization, it took hearing that her sister had gone to Al-anon for her to connect her drinking with alcoholism.  Arlina wrestled with that thought for 2 years. 

[23:20] Talk to us about when you finally reached that conclusion.

Arlina says it was a very humbling experience because she had defined alcoholism as something so negative.  Hating who she was anyway and then adding alcoholic and drug addict to it was overwhelming.  What had been her solution had become her executioner.      

[25:55] What was it like in early sobriety?

Arlina says it was overwhelming, but that she was relieved of the obsession to consume alcohol the day after her birthday.   She discovered she was kind of high maintenance.  She needed a morning routine, turning her life and her will over to God, and had to nurture a conscious contact with God throughout the day.  She attended a lot of meetings a week and service played a large part.   

[31:22] Let’s talk about the why behind your drinking.  Do you agree that alcohol is but a symptom? 

Arlina agrees 100% that alcohol is but a symptom.  She says she las learned that the brain will try and protect you from your pain, and if you can’t get out of it, it will develop a distraction, and that could be alcoholism or any other addiction.  Time does not heal all wounds; pain waits and lessons are repeated until they are learned. 

[37:27] Earlier you talked about chasing a feeling, how do you chase that feeling without alcohol. 

Arlina says the feeling that she was chasing was relief.  She likes to feel happiness and joy and she finds that in the service work she does.  When she can do something to alleviate someone else’s suffering she feels like she is fulfilling her purpose and that is when she feels the most joy. 

[42:00] Talk to us about your podcast, The ODAAT Chat.   **Arlina also has a website by the same name and you can find it here.   

Arlina originally started a sales podcast, but says it was really on her heart to do one on recovery.  She was conflicted because in the 12 traditions it says to maintain our anonymity at the level of press, radio and film.  Following the tragic death of a friend, who had attended a 6 AM meeting called ODAAT, she decided to be bold and follow her heart.  The podcast has added some pressure but also has brought joy to Arlina. 

[46:40] Rapid Fire Round

  1. Worst memory from drinking?

Puking my guts out at a San Francisco Giants game in front of a whole bunch of fancy people.

  1. Year 26, how’s it going to happen?

It’s going to happen one day at a time.  This morning I went for a walk and broke out an amazing book called Jesus Calling and read that.  I drew my Gabby Bernstein card and I use the Headspace app to do some meditation and I find if I do that routine in the morning my day goes so much better. 

  1. In regards to sobriety what is the best advice you have ever received?

Follow your heart.    

  1. What parting piece of advice can you give to listeners?

Open your mind and your heart and you’ll be amazed before you are halfway through.

  1. You might be an alcoholic if...

You end up in an AA meeting. 

 

 

Upcoming retreats:

Bozeman Retreat – August 14-18, 2019

Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020

You can find more information about these events here

Resources mentioned in this episode:

 

BetterHelp 

Visit betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR and join the over 500,000 people talking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. Recovery Elevator listeners get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/06/15/style/sober-curious.html

http://odaatchat.com/

Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com

 

“Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside-out.”

Jul 22, 2019

Odette, took her last drink on December 17, 2018.  This is her story.

On today’s episode Paul talks about control and how it relates to the level of an addiction.  The more our drinking gets out of control the more we try and control our external environments.  This is the main driver why control is such an important concept to deepen with so we can become aware of the level of control we placing on the external environment. 

We are left with 2 choices.  Option 1 is to do nothing, and that is not what this podcast is about.  That leaves us with option 2.  Get ready to saddle up.  Once an addiction is been acknowledged it can no longer be ignored, and it cannot be addressed without making major life changes.  Changes like a new self-image, your perception, a new consciousness, your ideas and beliefs, your entire life’s foundations.  That’s a lot of change, and as humans we resist change. 

SHOW NOTES

[8:10] Paul introduces Odette. 

Paul first chatted with Odette on episode 128, which came out on July 31st 2017, when she had 1 week of sobriety, he encourages you to go back and listen to that episode.  Today, Odette hit a big milestone…she has 6 months of sobriety. 

Odette is originally from Guadalajara, Mexico, but has been living in San Diego for almost 10 years.  She is married and a mom to 2 toddlers, Max and Sienna.  She works fulltime at WeWork.  Odette loves bowling for fun, says it's probably her favorite thing, and she will fight anyone who says that it's not a sport.  She also loves to try new teas and lately you will find her doing puzzles. 

[11:50] Give us a background on your drinking.

Odette says she’s been in the recovery world for a decade.  Her dad is a recovering alcoholic and he's about to hit his 10 year, so she was first exposed to recovery through him.  She likes to say that his addiction has become the biggest gift, not just to herself, but to her entire family. Odette also developed an eating disorder, which she says is her first addiction, if it has to be labeled.  Odette says that although she’s been in the recovery world for a while, in terms of drinking, she thinks she falls into the ‘gray area drinker’ category.  She doesn’t have a catastrophic story to tell in terms of her relationship with alcohol.

Because of this it’s been a real journey for Odette to figure out if she really belonged here or if she didn’t belong here, if she really had a problem with drinking.  What really changed things for Odette was something that she keeps telling people.  You don't have to have a serious drinking problem to have a problem with drinking, and she definitely knew that she had a problem with drinking.

[16:05] In regards to alcohol and your eating disorder, what is your thoughts on addiction whack-a-mole?

Odette thinks addiction whack-a-mole is a thing and that it is really important that we become ambassadors of being graceful to ourselves.   The addictions become more manageable now, not because it's easier, but because there's this sense of awareness.  Odette says she still sometimes eats when she’s not hungry, and that things that are part of her eating disorder chapter still come up, but she is aware of it now.  She realizes that she just didn’t want to feel the feelings, so she ate.  

[21:43] Talk to us about the time between when you were first on the podcast until now?

Odette struggled a lot, because, she says she is a binary person, and is like a lot of others in recovery who are in that gray area.  And not just with drinking but the gray area of life.   She loves fitting in boxes and labeling herself, and that is something that she really been trying to detach from these last 6 months.  She stopped questioning where she belonged and if she belonged and started asking herself different questions, like how she was feeling when she drank or if she was trying to cope with something.  She had to get a little creative with her questions because she was getting the same results when asking the same old questions. 

[26:55] Talk to us about the unknown and how you leaned into it.

The unknown is very scary for Odette.  She knew, as she was stacking days this third time around, that fear was going to creep up on her.  So she grounded herself with people who have really good messages around fear because she didn’t expect that fear to go away.  She learned to develop a different relationship with her fear. 

[34:33] Let’s talk about the concept of internal vs. external, where do you feel you are?

Odette feels like it’s shifting, and that she is discovering a lot of things.  She also believes a lot of it is linked to her eating disorder because she did not have a connection with her body was feeling at all.  Odette has been focusing on the internal and the physical. 

[36:40] Share with us how fun it is to meet up at our retreats, like our one coming up in Bozeman next month. 

Odette says she stopped calling them retreats and has started calling them “sober camp”, because they are just that much fun.  Bozeman will be Odette’s 3rd retreat and says that they are such amazing fuel and that the connections and friendships she has made are now like family.    

[37:50] Talk to us about a time, in the last 6 months, that it got tough and you overcame it without alcohol? 

The last 3-4 months have been extremely challenging for Odette.  As all the layers are coming off Odette says it feels very raw and at times very heartbreaking.  She has done a lot of reconciling the last 5 months with decisions from the past.  She says she is not living in the past, but reconciling with what has brought her to where she is right now. 

[42:30] Talk to us about the emotion, Joy, and when it first showed up for you. 

Odette used to have so many highs and so many lows it was though she was on a roller coaster.  Nowadays she aims for contentment.  She lets things pass her by and finds joy in the smallest things.  She finds herself getting teary eyed just looking at her daughter or while listening to a song while driving.  For Odette joy is found in the simple things and the quietness. 

[47:05] What themes are you exploring right now in your recovery?

Intention is a big one, and not being tied to an outcome.  Odette feels like she was tied to external outcomes in the beginning and she is distancing herself from that now.  Also, she says she is learning to let go of control.   

[51:00] Walk us through a day in your recovery.

Odette is an early riser and wakes up between 4:30-5:00 AM.  Exercise is one of her biggest tools in her tool belt so she tries to get in some sort of it first thing in the morning.  She does daily reading each morning and spends some quality time with her family.  She goes to work, listens to a podcast or Marco Polo’s with someone, and spends her lunch outside because nature is another big tool in her tool belt.  After work she is busy being mom, making dinner and lunches.  She has a BBT rule…bed by ten.  Her weekends are slower and way less structured. 

[55:44] Rapid Fire Round

  1. In regards to sobriety what is the best advice you have ever received?

You can’t do this alone…but you have to be your own cheerleader. 

  1. What parting piece of advice can you give to listeners?

Trust your gut. 

  1. You might be an alcoholic if...

You burn all the ships and you still drink. 

 

Upcoming retreats:

Bozeman Retreat – August 14-18, 2019

Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020

You can find more information about these events here

Resources mentioned in this episode:

This episode is brought to you in support by ZipRecruiter. Right now, my listeners can try ZipRecruiter for free. Visit Ziprecruiter.com/elevator

Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com

 

“Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside-out.”

Jul 15, 2019

Mark, took his last drink on April 19th, 2019 - This is his story.

On today’s episode Paul shares the status on his upcoming book release!  Alcohol is Sh!t should be launched the end of July – to mid-August.  Graphics for the front cover, the back, and the eBook are done.  Thanks to everyone that voted on the tagline and subtitles…this is what we came up with; How to ditch the booze.  Reignite your life.  Recover the person you were always meant to be. 

Paul also talks about calming the mind through meditation.  The word meditation comes from the word meditacioun, which means to ponder, and it has been around for a very long time. 

What is meditation?  Meditation is about letting thoughts go.  It is about loosening the energetic ties to the past and the future.  It is about being present and focusing on what is, the reality you are currently witnessing.  Meditation is about lowering brain waves to a more relaxed state.  Meditation is a skill and it takes practice. 

What meditation is not.  Meditation isn’t not thinking.  It isn’t about obtaining or getting anything, or discovering who you are.  It is not going into a trance.  Meditation isn’t selfish, it all starts from the inside out. 😉

SHOW NOTES

[15:50] Paul introduces Mark. 

Mark lives in Perth, Australia, which is one of the most remote cities in the world.  For work he is a financial professional.  He is 43 years old, married with 2 daughters.  For fun Mark likes to camp, exercise and read.    

[18:45] Give us a background on your drinking.

Mark started drinking in his teens and he says he pretty much to a liking to it right away.  It made him feel like a different person and got him out of his shell.  In his early 20s he went to college and continued drinking there.  There was about 3-4 years during his 20s that he got really serious about running and would quit drinking for 49 weeks a year while he was training. 

Mark says that once he stopped taking his running so serious, stopped the training, and got a job that there was a turning point and his drinking started to creep up to just about every day.  Mark was in his 30s now. 

In 2017, at the age of 41, Mark had his real first attempt at sobriety. 

[20:50] Was there a rock bottom moment in 2017 that propelled your attempt at sobriety?

There wasn’t a rock bottom moment for Mark, he says it was more like a series of bad nights.  He started to realize that his drinking was involuntary and he felt like it was something that was just happening to him. 

After one night in particular where he drank 2 bottles of wine and getting to work late feeling horrendous, he decided he had just had enough.  After doing some googling on cutting back and found a website called Hello Sunday Morning, where people posted about cutting back.  The website encouraged doing a 3 to 12-month time of no drinking.  Mark decided to try the 3 months and after successfully doing that and feeling good he decided to go for the 12 months. 

Looking back now he says it was a really good year.  He got healthy and got a lot done at home and at work.  But something was missing.  

[22:22] Go back a little, when did you start to realize that it was getting harder to stop once you started?

Mark drank beer and wine and would find himself drinking whenever he would meet up with someone.  And he didn’t just drink one or two, he drank hard.  It was almost as if he was running his life around alcohol.  He would never meet someone at a café, he would always meet people at a pub or bar. 

[24:15] So you’re cruising through 2017 dry, on willpower, how much time did you get?

Mark says he didn’t make it the 12 months.  He made it until mid-August, the same time he and his wife bought their home.  He celebrated that purchase with a bottle of champagne.  He says as soon as he had that bottle of champagne the wheels came off.  He also felt that because he went 8-9 months without drinking that he had changed his relationship with alcohol.  About a month after drinking the bottle of champagne he was back drinking just as hard as before. 

[26:00] Once you were back to drinking hard a month later did you stop and think ‘oh shit’? 

He really didn’t.  He just got back into it and by 2018 he was telling people that after his dry year he was back to drinking and that he had a different relationship with alcohol, which he now thinks was a supreme exercise of self-deception.  

[26:50] When did this self-deception end?

Mark says really only this year, around April 30th.  After sharing a bottle of wine with his wife on April 29th she went to bed and he went outside with another bottle of wine.  He started to think about what he was doing and started to get angry.  He thought about what a great year 2017 had been and now there he was by himself drinking himself to oblivion.  It was a feeling of self-disgust.  He went back into the house and said, to himself, that he was done, again. 

[28:45] What do you think was different that time?

Mark says its really hard to explain, but that he realized that there was no sense of joy drinking that bottle of wine. 

[29:45] Talk to me about how you realized that there were no hopes in moderation

In 2017 when he was reading blogs on that website a lot of people talked about AA.  He didn’t really like the idea of AA because of the religious aspect and the surrendering part.  Now fast-forwarding to 2019 he started to understand what the surrender thing was about.  He has decades showing that moderation does not work for him. 

[32:30] What was that first week like after April 30, 2019?

It was just a different feeling that this time it’s not a 12-month test of willpower.  This time Mark just had to accept that it was over between him and alcohol.  He says it felt liberating to just admit that he’d had enough and that he didn’t want to be involved with alcohol anymore. 

[34:25] Talk to us about the accountability you set up this time. 

His wife was the first person he told, and he waited a few weeks before even doing that.  He was nervous and shaking but she told him she was proud of his and has been supportive.  He has also told some guys at work and has found support there as well. 

[39:48] Have you had any intense cravings since April 30, 2019?

Mark says that the cravings have not been bad, surprisingly, but he does drink non-alcoholic beer and wine and he feels it helps. 

[46:00] What is on your bucket list in sobriety?

To enjoy each day and the simple pleasures that come with being sober. 

[46:55] Rapid Fire Round

  1. Worst memory from drinking?

Getting really, really, passing out drunk on my 40th and being told the next day that my oldest daughter, who was 5 at the time, was just standing there looking at me with a sense of distress. 

  1. When was your ‘oh-shit’ moment?

That moment out in the backyard when I was sitting there with a 2nd bottle for no good reason at all.

  1. What’s your plan moving forward?

I have more accountability to put in place, a few more people to talk to about it.  I really do want to engage more with other alcoholics. 

  1. What’s your favorite resource in recovery?

I’m on a blog website called Booze Musings and I have a few things on my reading list.      

  1. In regards to sobriety what’s the best advice you’ve received?

When I think about drinking just play the tape forward.  Remember who you are.  If I want that, then I can’t have this.   

  1. You might be an alcoholic if...

When its your shot for beers you buy yourself 2.

 

Upcoming retreats:

Bozeman Retreat – August 14-18, 2019

Asia Adventure – January 20-31, 2020

You can find more information about these events here

 

Resources mentioned in this episode:

 

Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code OPPORTUNITY for your first month free

Sobriety Tracker iTunes

Sobriety Tracker Android

Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com

 

“Recovery Elevator – It all starts from the inside-out.”

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