Episode 351 – Strength and Courage
Today we have Tom. He is 47, from Bozeman, MT, and took his last drink on September 24, 2019.
Café RE’s annual on-line conference called Regionals starts Friday 11/12-13/2021. This is a Café RE members’ only free event. This will include yoga, sound healing, meditations, and breakout rooms. Go to:
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Highlights from Paul
Paul shares some helpful hints from listeners to develop a game plan for the holidays. There are 54 days left in 2021 and Paul is encouraging you to start now with your plan to ditch the booze.
1) Accountability – get an accountability partner. Café RE members’ email: firstname.lastname@example.org with your name, age, location, male or female, and date of last drink and KMac will get you paired. If you are going somewhere for a holiday gathering, let the host know you won’t be drinking and ask them not to offer you any alcohol. 2) Stock up and treat yourself to AF beverages (+chocolate +ice cream). 3) Begin a new healthy practice that you enjoy, so your focus isn’t on what you are giving up, but on doing more of something you enjoy.
Paul reminds us to practice new habits including listening to music when you get triggered. Listen to some of Paul’s favorites here: https://www.recoveryelevator.com/meditations/
If you find yourself overwhelmed with getting or staying sober, remind yourself that up until this moment, everything has worked out just fine. You don’t have to have it all figured out. Nobody does. Your job is to keep moving forward and making progress. But not aimlessly. When we remove alcohol, we also remove the veil of illusion. At first this is lonely and scary. This allows us to be more authentic. Give this life reboot some time. Trust me. Trust yourself.
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[11:52] Tom took his last drink on September 24, 2019. He is 47, a surgical nurse and is married with two kids. He loves fly fishing, snowboarding, running, live music, hiking cooking, playing guitar and yo yo’s.
Tom came from a long history of drinkers. Tom was a victim of sexual assault and bullying. He didn’t drink regularly until late high school/early college. He described never feeling comfortable in his own skin. Drinking helped him overcome that discomfort. Tom’s drinking ramped up in college. He also smoked pot and was never a normal drinker.
At age 30, Tom made a career change and went to nursing school with the goal of being a family man. He became a surgical nurse and has been in the field ever since. After moving to Bozeman, the effects of years of drinking started to take their toll. He drank to black out, drank and drove and hid his drinking. He quit once on his own for two months, then drank for another five years. After a difficult conversation with his wife, he quit drinking the next day.
Tom described living a double life because his behavior at work and at home were completely different.
Tom leveraged AA to help him quit drinking for good. He went to meetings daily, got a sponsor, embraced spirituality, worked the steps, and did what he was told.
Tom can be himself now. He loves his job; has become a leader and he is no longer depressed. His marriage and his relationship with his children is better. He is making new friends and repairing old relationships.
Odette discusses moving toward your values to give you a new framework to evaluate your life and your sobriety.
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